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Topics - 5Dawgs

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I'm new to the reboot strategy (12 days in), but I'm wondering based on my circumstances what my expectations should be for overcoming PIED.  Here's where I am:

  • 49 years old.  PMO since I was 16 but addicted since about 21. 

    PMO frequency anywhere from 1 to 4 times per week prior to reboot.  I would say and average of 2.5 times per week.

    Typical PMO sessions of around 3 hours with about 30 minutes to an hour of edging before climax.

    Married with sex of 1 to 2 times per week, but more 1 than 2.  (Very attractive wife who is my best friend and been together since we were 18.  We're only 3 months apart in age.)

    For the last couple of years, I have been seeing a urologist for an enlarged prostate due to chronic prostatis.  I'm currently taking Flowmax nightly before bed, because without it my pee stream is nothing but a trickle. 

    PIED started about a year and a half ago, although I had never heard of PIED until just recently.  Started as softness and quickly went down hill from there.  I have no doubt it is PIED, but I wonder how much of it is lack of confidence and performance anxiety as well.

    Currently need Viagra to get more than about 40% hard (at most).  It does get me to 100%.  Viagra is a must to have sex at all, because 40% may be enough for penetration, but not remotely satisfying to my wife.  Plus, the more flaccid I am, the quicker I finish.

    In the past 12 days, I've had sex twice, and no PMO whatsoever.  I think I'm STARTING to see some results because I've woken up the last 2 days with about half a hardon after sleeping.  The only time that ever happens is the morning after viagra, and I'm sure that's just because of some of the drug still being in my system.  Until 2 days ago, no viagra, no morning wood.

So given all those details, can anyone help me form some expectations?  I've read that older guys tend to get over PIED more quickly.  Is this true?  How long before it's justified to get frustrated?

Thanks for any help or advice!

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Ages 40 and up / 5Dawgs Journal
« on: March 01, 2018, 06:41:01 PM »
So it begins for me, I guess.  I mean REALLY begins.  For years I thought I was beginning, then beginning, and then beginning again.  But now I see that by trying to do it alone I wasn't really beginning anything.  I've taken a few days to read through this forum, and my experience has been mostly positive (a little negative), and it seems that keeping a journal here may be the best way to get some support - and maybe give some back, too.

This month, I'll be 49.  I first dabbled in porn when I was about 15 or 16, I think.  Found my father's stash of Playboys.  Surprisingly, I didn't even know what masturbation was at the time.  I still remember being in the bathroom looking through one of the magazines and touching myself when I basically exploded out of nowhere.  Not kidding when I say that it was totally by accident.  My first orgasm while awake.  Naturally I made the connection - porn feels really, really good.

It was still only a once in a while thing, though.  But when I figured out that I had the ability to have an orgasm without actually having sex, I did take advantage of it regularly.  I didn't actually lose my virginity until I was 18.  It was my senior year girlfriend, and we were monogamously active for about a year.  About 3 months after we broke up, I met my current and only wife.  We were freshman in college.  I was her first, she my second, but there has been no one ever since. 

Porn was still a once in a while thing until we had been together about 2 or 3 years.  She lived in another state when we weren't in school, and I was visiting her and her family during a break.  Her father had just gotten a new computer that had internet, and it was the first time that I been on the worldwide web.  I don't remember what I searched that led me to the porn, but as soon as I saw it, I was hooked.  I couldn't believe that it was all right there and free.  Before I would have to go buy magazines, and I never had much money, so that didn't happen very often.  Now, I could have all I wanted any time I wanted. 

I knew it was wrong.  I grew up in a Catholic household where any type of sexual activity outside of marriage was wrong.  But the addiction took hold.  The neural pathways were formed.  And my life without guilt was over.

It's been that way ever since.  I've had times where I have been able to shake it for a few weeks, maybe a month, but nothing permanent.  I've hated myself.  I didn't want to do it.  Really, I didn't.  But I couldn't NOT do it.  The slightest thing would trigger it.   Even my wife could trigger it!  Nothing she did - just the fact that I could look at her, and maybe she was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up, or she was on her way out or something, and just the sight of her would make me so horny that I needed a release.  It wasn't a good time for her, so I had my plan B to fall back on.  Emphasis on FALL.  Because it was definitely like falling.  You reaching a temptation tipping point where you can no longer recover your balance, and then you just - fall.   

A couple of years ago is when the PIED kicked in.  I didn't actually make the connection until a few months ago.  I see a urologist who operates his own in-house pharmacy where I get generic Viagra pretty cheap.  And that's how I've maintained my sex life with my wife.  Until I learned of the porn connection, I thought it was permanent.  After reading the experiences here, I actually have some hope that I can go back having sex naturally again. 

So I begin again, or begin for real for the first time.  Yesterday was day 1.  No porn or replacements.  A couple of triggers, but I resisted.  Now I need to work on replacing my porn "escapes" with something else.  I've recognized that porn actually has been an escape for me.  I'm a high stress, high anxiety person - always have been, even before the porn and guilt.  Porn was a way to take a break from that.  A way to shut my mind off for a while.  Now I know that I need to find a new break.  Coming here has helped a little, but I don't think I can count on that to be permanent solution.  I know I need to find something that can replace the porn when the triggers come up.  I know the triggers will always be there - I just need to get them to trigger something else.  Something positive that doesn't come with guilt and shame.

Today is Day 1 of the journal but Day 2 without any porn or images of any kind.  My hope is that I can form a new pattern of coming here daily and reporting a higher number than the day before.  With a little encouragement and understanding, I think I can do it this time.

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Ages 40 and up / Ready for some help...
« on: February 23, 2018, 01:11:58 PM »
Hi.  I'm new to the site.  I'm a few weeks shy of 49 years old, and I've been addicted since I was about 20.  Been struggling to beat it by myself with ups and downs but no long term success.  I've been experiencing the porn-induced ED for several years and have to take viagra to be with my wife.  She knows nothing of my addiction.  It's the only thing I've ever hidden from her in the 30 years we've been together.  I'm at the end of my rope, and I'm hoping I can finally overcome this with the help of a community like this one.  If there is anyone looking for an accountability partner, I would welcome the opportunity.  I've finally come to the conclusion that I am never going to beat this on my own.

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