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Topics - Marco60

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Success Stories / The first success
« on: March 02, 2018, 11:05:11 PM »
I am 57yo, and this is a not secondary detail. Today I scored a first significant success since I started a hard reboot, 63 days ago: I made love three times. But before arriving at that, it is important to know how and why I decided to start the hard reboot.
I am divorced since 9 years, and during these years I did my best to build stable relationships. My last attempt was also the most devastating: I had a relationship with a woman whom I deeply loved and respected. She lives in a different town, thus our meetings were rare. Mainly for this reason, I continued to abuse of P, abundantly available and free over the net. Over New Year eve we spent four nights together, and all these nights I failed miserably to reach even the minimum erection. Note: like an idiot I spent hours every day before her arrival doing PMO, I was really addicted, even to the detriment of my job.
No wonder that after this experience my now ex-gf liquidated me with a couple of short emails. Maybe she was right, I do not blame her: in any case she did not even tried to ask why I had changed. But it is ok: obviously it was mostly me who wanted this relationship. I do not know, we do not listen each other since those days.
I was deeply blessed and felt humiliated. I started immediately to look over the internet and fell on this Forum. Reading stories similar to my own I found plausible the suggestion about the neurological mechanism of PIED, and decided to follow the hard reboot (no PMO, no touch to alleviate desensitization). Very soon I started to have again morning woods, which I had lost long time before. Although it should have lasted 90 days according to the suggestions given here, I had this opportunity of making sex and I decided to try. I had only fears: fears of failing, of collecting another failure after the four consecutive ones of almost two months before. Instead, all three times I succeeded to get erections and the first and third time also to complete with ejaculations. The first erection was not complete, and I had a PE. The second time I had a solid erection but without E, and the third time I was almost normal. The second time it was my partner who insisted, and I did not want to delude her and I accepted, although all three times (and even now) I was not sure that I could have succeeded.
Despite the fact that these can be regarded as three successful experiences, I will continue the hard reboot now until the end, after having agreed with my (girl)friend (we are not in love, but we are good friends and we like each other). However, the bottom lines are two: 1) Reboot works even for a rather old man like me, 2) I have no sexual or physiological problems. Although 2) only matters to me, 1) is good message for all of us, particularly for mature men.

Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Over 50s ?
« on: January 29, 2018, 02:38:00 AM »
I am currently in rebooting, day 30, and I am 57 yo. I would very much know if there are success stories from people in my age range (over 50), how long it really takes, how successful is recovery, problems, and more. Please only actual experiences, not messages starting with "I think that..." etc.

I feel better anyhow, do not feel any craves for relapsing, but it would be even more encouraging to know what I can reasonably expect at the end of this long journey.

Many thanks in advance!

Ages 40 and up / 57yo
« on: January 11, 2018, 08:30:21 AM »
Hi everybody!

This is my personal journal, and being aware of being in the extreme upper tip of the age range I prefer to stress this circumstance in the title. I think that age matters for reboot, as well as health, cultural constraints and psychological attitude.

My story is similar to many others I read here. I am P-addicted since 10 years, and a consumer of porn since longer. However, only the Internet addiction really had a negative effect on my sexual performances. I am divorced since ten years, had few girlfriends during this time. Few months ago I started a remote relationship with a woman for whom I seriously fell in love, and it was mutual. To make a long story short, we met 4 times, never for more than one week. The last time was over New Year, for four days, during which I NEVER was able to get hard. Few days after her departure she left me, and I started the reboot (adding to the day calculation also the days while we were together, during which I did not see any porn).

Today is my day 13 after reboot, and I decided to start this journal, strictly following the guidelines. This also means that I will only update it when I will see some changes, either progress or regressions.

Why I want to try rebooting? I came into this forum by accident, googling something like "porn erectile disfunction". I had before some suspicion that M was the cause of my lack of sensitivity, but after the disaster with my last girlfriend, whom I really liked very much, I decided that time had arrived. I am agnostic, thus I never felt any shame or sinful in looking into porn.  Sex is just for me a tool to reach a communication with your loved half. I used internet porn mostly out of boredom and lack of sense of accountablity, which for me are the real sins.

However, I realise that Internet can give other forms of addictions which, following the reasoning of the videos, should also induce low dopamine levels. Think of social media, like forums and FB, and checking them many times during a day. Indeed, I also tried to cut drastically the time I spend there AND the TV time in the evening, after dinner. Since I started rebooting I also read more. In the past I was an addicted book-buyer, I stopped when my daughters were born: now I picked up some of the wonderful art history and classics books I have, and I wonder why I left them so long on the shelves. But this prompts me to speculate that ALL IT addictions create a dependence and passive attitude, and I should make an effort to eliminate them if I want to be active again, also in the sexual domain.

Day 13 - Since 4 days, I started having again morning woods. Their duration and quality is constantly increasing, which for me represents a really pleasant surprise. I also noticed that I am attracted by looking at B sides of some attractive girls walking in the street, and this also is something new, although I do not get hard.
Also: I do not feel until now any interest for P, nor Internet and neither from media: I do not have to make any particular effort to avoid relapse.
I do not feel any sexual desire for real women, probably I am in the flatline. However, it is clear that I am only at the beginning.

Day 14 - Multiple and longer morning woods  :): I think that this rules definitely out any physiological cause of my ED. Given my age, I am surprised of these multiple MWs. However, I read here and there that quite possibly morning wood is not necessarily caused by any form of sexual desire: scientists are not sure about its neurophysiology. In any case, it is a sign that I also can, and eliminates a serious concern I had. I do not remember my dreams, however this morning I remember a flash from one I had just before waking up an noticing my MW, and it was a sexual situation where I was active: this is also encouraging  :).
I am more optimistic today, although I am aware that the way in front of me is still VERY long.

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