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Topics - StefanMicus

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Success Stories / I'M CURED!!! - NO PMO - 5 MONTHS
« on: August 03, 2017, 11:02:23 PM »
Hi guys.
I want to tell you about my success story.

Before No Pmo:

-Started Porn at age 12. I developped an anal fetish very quickly. --> This lead to anal stimulation with dildos. ( Aldo i've never been attracted to men)
- I used PORN to hide the bullying I suffered during School and the fact I had a disfunctional family that never gave me love.
- Lost virginity at age 22 with a limp dick ( I didnt enjoy one bit having sex)
- Only one girlfriend at age 24 (lasted only 4 months)
- I lost 4 amazing women due to my PIED
- Severly depressed & suicidal between my last failed attempt of having sex & starting NO PMO (6 months)
- Socially anxious, Depressed, Shy, Insecure.
- Afraid of having Sex or any kind of intimacy.
- I had performance anxiety & premature ejaculation with limp dick
- A few months before NO PMO I started watching sissification videos (while using dildos) for hours to escape from the horror of my
   life. This is were I hitted ROCK BOTTOM. Luckily thats when I found about NO PMO thanks to Gabe Deem Youtube videos.

During No PMO (Started March 10th 2017)

- Heavy flatline during at least a month. No libido. No motivation. Suicidal Thoughts.
- Read and practiced: Mantak Chia - Multiorgasmic man (to learn to be relax during sex and been able to last longer than 1 min)
- Social Anxiety Almost non existing
- Mediation almost every day
- Exerciste almost every day
- I'm ver sociable and confident
- Morning woods
- Very horny around girls
- Anal fetish Gone ---> Now vaginas drive me crazy

How I overcame PIED:

Aldo I was not watching porn, I was confusing NO PMO with abstinence. I realized that I would never truly reboot if I didint Rewire my brain to a real partner. I could only accomplish this by trying to have sex with a girl.
So after about 4 months or so of total abstinence, I met a girl. We liked each other inmediately.
I could feel very aroused just by been next to her. I had sponatneous boners just by being next to her. I felt my libido through the roof.
But I was still very scared of not been able to perform again.

Long story short, I invited her over to my place to watch a movie.
After a while we forgot about the movie and started making out.
I was kind of hard, but was still insecure about myself ( I had only had sex twice: limp dick at age 22 and a hooker (taking viagra) at age 24).
So I decided to take control and take my time. The key was to relax and let go of control.
We kissed and touched for about 2 hours. We were very horny but I was still insecure of going limp.
So I decided to give her a back massage with oil. That way I would control when to go in, at what speed to penetrate, etc... ( I was also afraid of premature ejaculation).

While i was giving her this very sexy massage, I forgot all about my penis.... and BOOM!! I realized I was super hard.
So I decided it was time to penetrate her.
I did this... and MAN IT WAS AWSOME!!! We made love all night long.
I was able to feel everything, I was able to relax and just enjoy the ride. I never lost the erection.
It lasted all night long. :D
So now we are dating and are going camping together.

I feel like a man now. I've gained my life and sexuality back :D.
Now I'm Hard almost inmediatley just by been next to a girl. Now I'm able to relax and ENJOY SEX!!!! (I was afraid of it before).
I feel no pressure at all to perform, because all I care about is enjoying, I focus on the feeling, not on my mind.

I wanna thank you all. Had I not discovered this community, I would probably killed myself. Im not kidding. No PMO saved my life.
Thank you Gary Wilson.
Thank you Noah Church.
Thank You Gabe Deem.

To all of you who are struggling with Porn addiction:
You will overcome it!! Porn is the worst drug in the world. Leave it inmediately and never look back. The short pleasure it provides is nothing compared to real life sex. To LOVE MAKING.
You can do it GUYS!!! Just keep fighting, exercising, meditating, eating healthy. The flatline wont last forever.

You will overcome Porn addiction!!!




 

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Porn Addiction / I cant get excited by Vaginas
« on: May 17, 2017, 09:50:55 PM »
After several years of watching porn I developped an Anal Fetish.
I could only get it up (or excited easily) by porn with anal penetration.
I dont know why, but vaginal penetration didnt excite me as much. But anal penetration excited me wildly.

I was a bit worried about this, why didnt I find vaginas exciting? Im straight, they should drive me crazy, right?
Maybe I was scared of them? I dont know.... (psychological issues i guess)

Now after 67 days of no PMO, im starting to really like them, fantasies about them, like a normal dude i guess.

Has anyone gone trough a similar situation? Is it normal? Is it porn induced? Is it reversible?



3
Ages 20-29 / PIED Suicidal Ayahuasca Reboot (47 days of no fap)
« on: April 25, 2017, 09:46:08 PM »
Hi there guys.

Im in my 47 day of no fap

Before describing you how these last 47 days have been, I want to talk to you a little about me and how I ended up having PIED.
I started watching porn when I was around 12-13 years old.
I was bullied around the same time until I was 23 years old. 10 years of true hell.
On top of that, things were not good at home. My mother was really dominant, obsessive and a control freak. My dad was very submisive to her. I had no freedom in my house, I had no room for myself, I was always afraid of being reprimended or grounded by my parents. They gave me all the material things that I needed, but never gave me love. All they cared about was for me to have good grades and be an obedient son.

Therefore, I escaped in two ways: PORN and Studying (having good grades).

During my adolescence, I had plenty of opportunities of being with beautiful girls (Im quit attractive), but I was very insecure and shy because of all the bullying that I suffered. I rarerly felt that incontrollable desire and lust over women, in a psycical animalistic way, during pretty much my hole life.
I now know that that was pretty much to porn.

I washed around 2 3 times a week, and I developped quit early a fetish for anal. Women being analized brutally bi big black dicks, bukkaked, gangbanged, etc...
Since I had very little experience with girls, my brain associated only pleasure to pixels in a screen rather than with a real girl. (By the way, I've always been totally heterosexual, I've never felt sexual attraction towards men):
Nevertheless, my tolerance to porn grew, so I started fantazising that I was those girls, that I was being penetrated by those big black dicks.... Thats when I started to do anal masturbations with dildos. I could not controll it, It was an animalistic desire (that's what normal people fell I guess, with another person in the real world). I always felt terrible afterwars.

Now, during the last 2 years, for the first time in my life I started having relationships with girls that lasted more than a month. I liked them a lot!. The desire was there, the emotion, the connection, the emotional connection.
Nevertheless, due to my porn habits, wich I didnt know the side effects, I could not perform.
During these 2 years, I lost 3 amazing women, that I know I've coulve fallen in love with.
It was so awful not being able to be a man.

The last time this happened to me was in August. After she broke up with me, I was in total depression.
I thought I was a sick motherfucker (I still think so form time to time). I though I was not even a man. I started questioning who the fuck I was, and if life was worth living. I was suicidal, with lot of mental problems... etc...

Thats when I decided to take Ayahuasca, to see what the fuck was wrong with me. (my shrink had no clue what happened to me, he never asked about my porn habits, he thought my problem was due merely tu performance anxiety):
Ayahuasca was a incredible experience that tought me a lot about myself. I cried like a freaking baby, but I realized I was a strong motherfucker, because anyone with no real friends, with no family conecction, would've killed himself or become drunk a long time ago.

Nevertheless, ayahuasca did not me show me what the source of my sexual problem. was.
From novembre to february of 2017, I started washing more hardcore porn to forget about my heavy depression. I started whasing sissification videos for 6 hours straight.
I knew this was fucked up, but I thought, what the hell... I cant get it up, Im a fucking sissy with no manhood whatsoever.

Thats when i discovered your brain on porn... and I can say that it really saved my life man. More son than ayahuasca.
The first time I watched noah church videos, gabe deem's videos and gary wilson's videos, I stopped inmediately to watch porn and masturbating.

Since I stopped (10 march 2017), Ive felt like a new born man, l
I have practically no social anxiety.
I confronted the guys who bullied me (that was healing as fuck).
I left my house 2 years ago, and I iam now beginning to really enjoy it and becoming an adult. Im enjoying my independance.
Im the most social guy on the planet. Everybody can notes it, especially girls.
I'm doing a lot of exercise and meditating every day + cold showers.
I have not relapse to porn. (i did masturbated ones with anal stimulation but not eyaculating). I will not do that again, since it fucks up my brain, the pleasure circuit.

I have espontaneous boners all the time, and I feel horny for the first time just by washing a girl, Im fantasazing with real girls for the first time in a loooong time.

Flatlines have been rough but not very extense. I cry like 2 times a week, at night, when Im in bed. I remember all the beautiful girls I lost, all the pleasure and love I've wasted trough my whole life. I think how I wasted my hole fucking life to porn, and fantasize about who I coul've been if i've had never discovered porn. Man it sucks.
But I accept the pain. I let that pain absorb, I do not try to avoid the crying, y let it flow. It hurts a lot!. But afterwars I feel good.
The meditation and exercise help a lot.

There are 2 women in my life that I 100% know want to have a relatiosnhip with me, that want to have sex with me.
But, I have developped a great fear of sex, of pleasure. When I was with a girl in bed I felt absolutely nothing. It was awful man. So awful that i wanted to kill myself. So awful that I think that if iit happens to me again, I would really kill myself.
The shame and pain is just to big (by the way im 25, Im in my senior year en la Universidad de Chile studying Engineering)
I feel im totally broken and that I will never be able able to feel pleasure having sex, making love, with a woman. That im just not meant for it. That if this rebooting think doesnt work, I might as well just kill myself, because life doesnt have any meaning without love and sex. :( Every time im in a bed with a girl i only have negative thoughts: I have a small dick ( actally it is big, a hooker told me), I will not have an erection, I will not be able to give her pleasre, I will eyaculate prematuraley.... etc.... It's awful... sex stresses me... it so sick.

I know I have to practice with girls, but Im just too afraid to feel the shame and pain again. It's just too big.

WHAT should I do guys???
I want to heal :(

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