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Messages - macdaddy

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Ages 20-29 / I'm not achieving my potential
« on: July 17, 2017, 10:51:36 PM »
Girls think I'm hot. I have no problem striking up conversations because I have unwavering confidence, especially when I am drunk. Yesterday, I PMO'd 3 different times and I today while at work I felt sad and unmotivated and didn't meet my sale numbers at all. I am a go getter and porn is hurting me. It needs to get cut out. I haven't had sex since September 20th 2016. My excuse is that I want to focus on myself and succeed, its really just a coverup to hide my addiction. I deleted my Facebook and instagram because I don't ever post in those sites anyways. I feel like there is so much to learn out in this world and I am not allowing myself to live to the fullest because i choose to watch porn. In the past, I've tried to use trackers to count how long I can go without porn and then I found myself constantly checking the days, hours and even minutes and thought to myself "OK that is long enough". Then I dive right back into the cycle.
I've also noticed that If I am drunk and watch porn, I have a different perspective and I don't think its attractive. I find myself thinking how the people in this are all acting and its just a load of shit. Its kind of funny that my drunken mind is able to see that better than sober mind.
I'm gaining weight and not working out and drinking a lot (roughly 23 beers) a weekend. Furthermore, I tend to go on phases of where I put snus in my mouth and then watch porn. I somehow convince myself that being stimulated will make the porn more appealing. Its not true.
I don't care if anyone reads this but myself but I need this closure. I am giving up Facebook and Instagram and tobacco and drinking max 6 beers this week. God Bless and may I realize the untapped internal strength that I know I have.

Ages 20-29 / Time to start up again. (Personal note)
« on: March 27, 2017, 11:00:20 PM »
Alright, its time to start up again. I can jerk off all I want; I'm just not allowed to look up porn. I think overtime my brain will condition itself to crave real human contact rather than a screen. Its so fucked up to think that I'm hurting my brain from this. Anyways, I'm starting the tracker again and I'll see how far I can go. I want to become my best self because that is when I will be able to find the girl of my dreams. God Bless.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Avoiding Facebook helps BIG TIME
« on: October 26, 2016, 03:31:56 PM »
Absolutely man. Its a sad thing but I've turned down multiple girls (6 to be exact) because we were hooking up and I just couldn't get it up. The worst thing is the girls think its them and they feel self-conscious.

Ages 20-29 / I gave in after 2 days and 16 hours
« on: October 26, 2016, 03:29:44 PM »
This is just a personal note to myself-I watched porn and gave in after 2 days and 16 hours. My new goal is to go 4 days without PMO. Rome wasn't built in a steps. I got horny after going on Facebook. Definitely wasn't worth it, I don't ever contribute on there anyways.

It is good to note that I felt like the fucking man these past few days. I've had increased energy and confidence. I know I'm capable of going longer and I kind of got a little feel for what it feels like to be super confident and energetic. Onto 4 days without PMO!

Ages 20-29 / Avoiding Facebook helps BIG TIME
« on: October 26, 2016, 12:04:43 AM »
Survived 2 days and counting, without PMO. This is coming from someone that averaged 2 times daily and probably 20 mins daily of just lurking for better porn over the last several years, this is a big moment for me. I'm well-aware that this is totally pathetic but progress is progress, right? Anyways, today I realized that my urges tend to come from Facebook/Instagram. I usually go on and see someone is a bikini or a low cut shirt and then I just want to go masturbate. Detaching from my "normal" mindset and not doing my daily routine (going on Facebook), I've realized this is a major step in helping avoiding a trigger. I'll probably go on Facebook here and there, but making a mindful block on it for the time being has already proven to be very beneficial to me. God Bless.

I've noticed the same thing in the past even though it was only for a few days. Could be placebo effect, but nonetheless it seems to work.  Keep up the great work!

Ages 20-29 / These impulsive thoughts are driving me crazy
« on: October 24, 2016, 11:25:26 PM »
 I'll start off by saying this, I am a 21 yr old dude. I've tried using NoFap, a sub reddit, but there was simply too much to read and comprehend and it was overwhelming. I love the idea of writing a personal journal; for me, its great self-medication. I began watching P when I was in 7th grade. I was 12 years old and ever since then the longest I've gone without viewing P is a week. 7 days withdrawn from P is the most since beginning 8 years ago; I now am attempting 90 days. I'll allow myself to MO strictly based on imagination from past sexual experiences, that is all.

With that being said, P has made me develop p-induced ed. I've been soft and unable to perform with real, attractive girls about 6 times. (yes, I've turned down 6 DIFFERENT girls  because I can't get it up:-[ Not only is that a major problem, but also I have found myself having no empathy towards others, too. And as of recently, I've began having extremely impulsive, exotic thoughts about P.  It grosses me out to no end and I honestly hate those stupid, random thoughts. I've noticed that the more I watch P in a given day, the impulsive thoughts come more often. I think this forum will help me get to achieving my real potential. God Bless.

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