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Messages - streetintegraty

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Ages 30-39 / Re: 35 Years Old And Looking Forward
« on: July 05, 2016, 05:53:12 PM »
for me it was a combo of the 2 what I can only assume was mild PIED led to massive performance anxiety which just let to more ed and the cycle continued ruined 2 potential relationships  I probably should have just told the  women what I was experiencing but that is a difficult convo for a proud man to  have with a fairly new GF

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Ages 30-39 / Re: 31, quitting porn after 15 years (HARD MODE)
« on: July 05, 2016, 03:41:56 PM »
so glad to hear I am not the only one  I that situation no real relation ship or intimacy in years and I to like you have a good job am ver socialy and have fun with my friends and I am also in good shape physically I am doing this to try to salvage my life before it gets to far gone... check out my story I posted if you have time and best of luck on your journey!!!

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Ages 30-39 / trying to make a better me
« on: July 05, 2016, 03:36:10 PM »
My story... I am currently 38 started veing porn in my earlier yrs 10-11 by finding magazines in my uncels closet when I would hang with my cousin ,this quickly escalated to me needing to see live porn  by this I mean movies. I would occasionally have a cousin or a friend give me a vhs tape at the time it didn't mater, as long as it was sex. at first I was just interested in seing it then I found masturbation, and it was the best thing ever. fast forward to my early highshcool years, PMO was there when I needed it and I didn't have that much game with women, but still managed to awkwardly loose my virginity around 16, sex it self always was around me making me feel like if I wasn't getting it on the regular like a lot of my friends were that I had an issue. I had my share of real life sexual encounters through highschool and into my early 20s but never enough to satisfy my desire for it which was also fuled by the sexually charged enviremnt created by the people and situations I put my self in...
     As I went through my 20s and with the increasing availability of highspeed internet porn, I was slowly filling the void of real sex with PMO, not even realizing there was a problem....then there came a few situations were I had the chance to have sex  a few times and actually passed up on it went home and took care of my self. obviously this spiraled down hill and when I would actually be with a real women I would have trouble getting an erection long enough to have intercourse, this got in my head and started causing serious performance anxiety to the point were in my late 20s early 30s it became  stressful to even think about making it to the point of intimacy. this made me start to doubt in my mind if I was still attracted to women, which leads to a whole nother line of paranoid thinking, ei could I be gay or bi... things like that. this in tern made it easier and easier to turn to PMO as my default...
     This brings me to the last 5-6 years I at this point using PMO daily sometime 2-3 times and had no interest in perusing an intimate relationship I started becoming very fascinated with voyeur, the idea of seeing or even hearing other people in sexual acts was a huge turn on for me. I started living vicariously through that and porn. the final straw fro me was when I actually purchased one of those real feal sex toys I tried to use it with no porn and could not. not only that but I had become so used to what has been referred to as the death grip from masturbation that the feeling was not even enough to keep an erection, this is when I learned a bout PMO induced ed and thought this might be my issue

That being said I have not looked at porn for the last 3 weeks cold turkey but did relapse by masturbating without porn which in a way is progress that I was able to achieve this please feel free to share your thought on my store I would like to know even I my age I may still have a chance at a healthy relationship   Thanks

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Hello reboot nation I am new to this form but have been on my reboot journey since June 15 of this year or about three weeks I have relapsed once but this relapse did not involve porn. I have to admit I felt some confidence and added energy in my first week but think this may be due in part to my motivation being so high. Since then I have not felt much of any change however I have not watched porn since the first day and do not seem to feel like I am missing it that much. Don't get me wrong I have plenty of urges but this is just missing the release I think not missing porn. I am starting to question whether or not I was really that dependent on it
        I guess my real concern is was I addicted to porn or just masturbation and is this even worth doing I'm sure at some point everybody has felt that way. As of this point I still have not felt many changes I am trying to motivate myself to go out and do new things and better my life but it's starting to feel like Maybe there is something else wrong and it's not necessarily porn addiction anybody that is just getting started with this or has been at it for a while that could weigh in in Meybees my mind as to the fact that I am making the right choices here I would love to hear from you
Thanks

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