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Messages - LifeWarrior

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Ages 20-29 / Re: Time to finally be a man
« on: July 06, 2014, 11:07:45 PM »
Haha you were both wrong! But that's very beside the point.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: LifeWarrior's Journal
« on: June 28, 2014, 12:05:07 PM »
Feeling pretty optimistic today! I'm 80% of the way to my current goal of 50 days with no PMO. I am feeling the pressure of success though. For some reason it can seem easier to regress when faced with success rather than keep moving forward. My guess is this is a simple fear of the unknown.

In other news, I feel like my T levels have practically doubled! I haven't taken any tests, but it is just something I can feel in my body. I feel stronger and more confident in every way today.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: To be able to pull out the Sword again
« on: June 27, 2014, 02:41:37 PM »
Congrats on the progress so far!

The whole condom thing has been an issue for me as well. I was in a long relationship where we didn't have to use them, and the change of women and expectation to use a condom in combo with the P put me through some ED issues similar to what you are dealing with.

You are headed in the right direction. Have fun with the blonde girl.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: Time to finally be a man
« on: June 27, 2014, 02:35:33 PM »
Congratulations on fighting the good fight! That in itself is placing you miles ahead of where you would be if you just embraced indifference. I highly recommend the nofap youtube clip "Dealing with Urges without Suffering." It's been a great one for me, especially during the tougher streaks.

You are making yourself a better man!

Peace

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Ages 20-29 / Re: LifeWarrior's Journal
« on: June 27, 2014, 02:28:04 PM »
Feeling a bit down in the dumps today. I'm going through a little period of self doubt and it is taking lots of effort to not PMO to feel better. It is weird, I'm not even particularly horny but I still feel the urge. That, ladies and gentlemen, is fucked. But it is a very useful example of how my PMO pattern isn't actually in line with my natural sexuality. Looking forward to processing these urges because I always feel incredible after I exercise self-control.

Hang in there!

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Ages 20-29 / LifeWarrior's Journal
« on: June 09, 2014, 05:41:54 PM »
This is my first post ever, so here we go!

I am currently in my 2nd true effort to live above PMO. There have been times in my life where i wondered if P was negatively affecting me, but I never thought I could go without it. It was honestly unthinkable because A) I would be admitting struggle with something that every other guy appeared (on the surface) to have no problem with, and B) I had this idea that I would be giving up a type of pleasure that had no replacement (LOL).

For the few before the previous 2 months or so, I didn't have much drive to bring real sex into my life. I didn't feel attracted to 99% of women and I felt very frustrated about not finding someone new that I was truly attracted to and could connect with sexually. I thought it was the girls for quite a while, then I started to think that it was me. Why was I struggling so hard with no libido? When I did have sex, I didn't finish. I was also really concerned at times about my sexual orientation. That sucked, but was still bearable and I thought I just had really good endurance. I just went on without really thinking about it. If I was concerned, I would PMO and move on. Then, a few months ago, something big happened.

The first time I experienced legitimate ED in my life was the biggest kick in the balls to my self-concept that I have ever experienced. I was ready to go, then when it was time to dive in--shutdown. I felt really fucking bad. Then, a couple weeks later, I drove 2 hours to go hook up with a girl that I have been attracted to for years. Once again, dead. I have never felt like less of a man in my entire life.

This anxiety has impacted me, but I am determined to move through it. I began seeing a therapist about a month ago to work through some depression and anxiety issues in addition to getting back on board with my reboot and I am noticing flashes of true life here and there. Brighter colors, beautiful women magically being around again, easier laughter, desire for adventure, less instant judgement of others, free-floating confidence, increased desire to bond--those kinds of things. I haven't felt like a million bucks all day every day, but there IS at least one moment every day that I do and it seems like those moments are getting more frequent.

To be honest, I am still scared of not performing sexually and of being alone. I am impatient and frustrated at times with the process of re-learning how to be my genuine, confident self around potential partners. I'm scared that I am missing out on the greatest pleasure in life by "breaking up" with those fake girls on the internet. I also know that the greatest happiness and joy in my life is still to come, and I feel stronger every day.

I'm sick of all the fake shit controlling me, and I'm ready to fight for my true life.

Thanks for reading. Now, let's go kick some ass.

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