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Messages - GESwho89

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So I'm about a month and a half clean with no MO or P, and I think I have been experiencing a flat line in erectile health in the past few weeks. For those of you who have handled this for longer than me, how long do these flatline periods typically last and can they reoccur? Also obviously the flatline has caused more issues with ED and is inhibiting my sexual relationship with my girlfriend, are there any OTC supplements (natural preferably) that are safe and effective for ED? I've been doing some research online and have found things like yohimbe and horny goat weed but I know yohimbe has some dangerous side effects and horny goat weed is something that needs to be taken daily, I'm looking for a pre-sexual activity aid.

Rebooting with a girlfriend, I personally experienced flatline for about 35ish days; starting at about day 7, and lasting until day 40-something. I don't specifically remember, but it was about that length. During this time, it is imperative to remember that your brain is rewiring itself naturally, and that what you are going through is all a "rite of passage" to recovery. Also remember not to "test" your erections along the way; that can only lead to disappointment, as many of us have this expectation that we should instantly have superhuman erections and extreme responsiveness. That almost never happens.

Keep on keepin' on, you can do this!

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Yessir! What you will notice is that you'll be more sensitive all the time, especially during sex, but instead of having a ton of sensitivity at first during intercourse and a sudden lack of sensation, it will feel amazing and relaxing the whole time until you just can't hold it back anymore and have to cum. Don't beat yourself up for a little PE at first either; that comes with the territory! Your situation sounds normal. :)

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That sounds like how I have been my whole life; an intense urge to cum within the first few minutes, but if I power through it, a loss of most sensation. Luckily, I feel like my sensitivity issues are starting to normalize and I am gaining control. You may just need more time, mate! But count your lucky stars; at least you are successfully having sex! ;)

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What you're experiencing is the brain rewiring its mode of arousal. Primally, your brain (via evolution and survival instinct) is naturally trained to be the most aroused to a real, physical partner. The problem with frequent masturbation to porn is you are literally telling your brain to be aroused to pixels on a screen. Over time, the brain begins to prefer this "pathway." The only way to break it is to let that pathway become unused. The time between you being aroused by the computer and being aroused by a normal sexual experience is what is called the "flatline"; a lifeless penis that can only painstakingly become erect. During this time, it is best to lay off of EVERYTHING artificially stimulating and allow your primal nature to take hold once more in your brain. Rewiring with a partner is considered the best route because you are accelerating your arousal to a real woman (or man)  and also building comfort in sexual situations.

Tl;dr: your body is doing something normal. Sensation and arousal will come back. Don't worry about it. :)

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had sex lately with a girl and i was full erect even if i was really drunk and thought a bit about the Ed itself, but it never went down. I didn't cum but it felt good to be able to keep it. i guess it's some good progress

Celebrate the victories, and forget the defeats, my friend. Remember this issue is based on chemical imbalances in the brain, and absolutely do not blame yourself. Just continue to abstain from PMO as much as humanly possible, and let your body heal itself. This is DEFINITELY progress!  ;D

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It sounds like this could also be psychologically-driven. Were you out to prove something while having sex with your ex? Did you prolong sex to try and do as Dennis on Always Sunny and "demonstrate your value?" Personally, I've noticed throughout my entire life, that if I go past a certain length of time in sex, I have to REALLY put forth an effort in order to finish, and typically it has to be a vigorous pace. I'm going through a reboot now and am having the opposite issue, as sensitivity has increased higher than I've ever felt, but I can definitely understand the shoes you are in. Did you feel like you were going to ejaculate early on in the session and worked your way past that?

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I experienced the "flatline" for weeks 1-7 of my recovery. I'm only on week 8 now and pretty confident I'm becoming rewired to "the real deal." My advice is to remember that what you are going through isn't your fault, it is a chemical process in the brain. Remembering that fact helped me accept and face this issue head-on. What matters is consistency and devotion, which anybody on this forum has demonstrated that they are clearly capable of that. As everybody else has said, it will pass. Stay committed, and stay focused on the future! If it helps, set your goals out further. We all want to be "fixed" tomorrow, a week from today, etc. Focus on longer time-spans and celebrate the little victories along the way, while shrugging off the defeats.

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The urethra is the tube inside of your penis that carries your semen/urine. Do you mean the underside of your penis, below the frenulum (sensitive spot just below tip)? It could be that your sensitivity is still returning. I felt like I had a "dead penis" for about a month during my journey.

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Great to hear of your progress. I'm curious. Did you cut back on porn use while in relationships in the past? Maybe that's why things would eventually get better.

It's interesting that you continued to masturbate to fantasy. But you said when you did the PIED test, you *couldn't* masturbate to fantasy. Did you take a short timeout from masturbation (+ avoiding porn) at first when you started this recovery?

Thank you very much! So with relationships in the past, I typically did either cut back or phase out porn for stints of time. I never drew the link between the porn usage and the ED until now. It's amazing to me that PIED is not more widely discussed.

Actually, I think I only took about a 3 week period off of the masturbation entirely. Then I found that I had greater sensitivity and accidentally "put myself in the mood" a few times, and discovered that I could maintain an erection to ejaculation just with fantasy (and much faster than any other masturbatory experience in my life).

I do believe wholeheartedly that staying away from masturbation, at least at first, is THE best way to go.

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I am a 26-year-old man and have struggled with ED for my entire life. I have never been a promiscuous type, so I knew "nerves" weren't my problem, but I never knew what was wrong with me. I used to cling to relationships with terrible girls [partially] because of the fear and anxiety brought on by the notion of "learning how to have sex" with somebody new, given my lifelong ED struggle. Sex [with a new partner] worked typically only when under the influence of alcohol, with gratuitous foreplay or oral sex, or in a longterm relationship (6+ months) and a lot of comfort. Again, I never knew what was wrong with me, but I felt incomplete, and threatened by all other guys, because I felt insecure; fatally flawed, if you will. I experienced the entire gamut of porn addiction symptoms: eternal lethargy, low self confidence (until midway through college), acne, social anxiety, inability to focus, delayed ejaculation, loss of sensitivity, and of course the reason I eventually searched so deeply for an answer to my problems, PIED. And I'm here to tell you the odds were stacked very high against me, but I have WON! And if you're having doubts, LOSE THEM, because you can too!

So fast-forward to my current situation: I started dating this amazing girl about six months ago. Our relationship has been awesome from the start; we have a ton in common, she is the embodiment of everything I had hoped for, and she's my first ever redhead (and a HOT one at that)! So about a couple weeks into our relationship, I seduced her and things got hot and heavy, she was dying for sex, and I couldn't get it up. I chalked it up to nerves and we moved on. Well over the 10+ tries over the next couple months, sex wouldn't work. I thought it was an arousal problem. I had my testosterone checked, ended up being on the high end. I was given Cialis samples to "give me my confidence back," and devastatingly, they didn't work. I tried to cut out caffeine, get more sleep, eat more fruits and vegetables. Nothing worked. Every failure, I went back to porn, to prove to myself I could still get an erection. I could. However, trying to touch myself while fantasizing about my girlfriend, nothing happened. Nothing. Come to find out, that's one of the tell-tale signs of PIED, but I digress...

At this point, I thought maybe it was sexual incompatibility; I mean, why else could this not work? At the same time, I wondered if something was wrong with me psychologically. Did my previous teaumatic breakups and dramatic relationships break me? I scheduled an appointment to see a sex therapist. About a day before that appointment, I stumbled across ybop.com and realized what my issue was; I was a porn addict with a bad case of PIED. I have been meeting with the sex therapist for about two months, I have given up porn (stilll masturbate to fantasy), and I have been completely open with my girlfriend about the whole process, and I'm 99.9% sure I am cured, in a little less than two months away from porn.

I have noticed a number of changes after abstaining from porn, with relative timelines for when these developments took place:

1) More confident/outspoken/charistmatic - I noticed a lack of fear of judgment almost instantly, probably on the third day. My work became more interesting (aerospace mechanical systems engineer). I became much less fearful of peoples' opinions or disapproval. This increase in social confidence has granted me better interactions with strangers, and a greater feeling of acceptance in the workplace and around friends/family.
2) Clearer skin - I noticed within a week that my slight acne on my face began to clear and my skin achieved a healthier glow. I used to struggle with acne on my back as well, but that has improved significantly.
3) Attention from women - The women I to commonly see in the gym and random girls elsewhere seem to notice me much more, even when walking hand-in-hand with my girlfriend. This started from literally about day 3, and has continued to escalate.
4) Less stressed/depressed - Although I have had my good days and bad days, my mood has been on a steady upward climb, on average, since about day 3. Before I knew the reason for my ED, I was constantly stressed and depressed, because I felt broken, and didn't know what was wrong with me (or how to fix it). Having a clear path forward and hearing others' stories gave me confidence and inspiration, and overcoming my previous porn addiction a day at a time is reassurance.
5) Larger "resting" genital size - I've always been a grower. It's something I was never a fan of, especially because before, my penis kind of resembled an overgrown cocktail shrimp when not aroused (6.5"+ when erect). With giving up porn, I have noticed my penis kind of "relax" now, and is about 50% longer and 50% girthier when not erect.
6) Arguably, most important, SUCCESSFUL SEX! - Even though I had lost a great amount of confidence in myself during this whole process, I never gave up, and miraculously, neither did my girlfriend. On the morning of our "six-monthiversary," we had very passionate, spontaneous, and SUCCESSFUL sex. I didn't require oral or manual stimulation, and there was a feeling of relaxation and genuine excitement I had NEVER felt before during sexual intercourse. I did "finish" a little quickly, but she was happy, and I was happy! But, I still wondered if that morning was maybe a fluke. Well, exactly a week later, she woke up in the mood again, and I rose to the occasion! Effortlessly! Lasted longer, felt relaxed and excited, confident, and it was amazing for both of us.

I wanted to tell everybody browsing these forums that a cure IS within reach. I had every odd stacked against me. I was a daily porn user, had ED from my very first sexual experience at 16, broken confidence, I started PMOing at 12-13, and I was CURED. If I can do it, YOU CAN TOO!

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