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Messages - kopp

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1
Ages 20-29 / Re: Pushing back!
« on: July 06, 2020, 07:37:58 AM »
Nice to see you're doing great :)

2
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: July 06, 2020, 01:35:07 AM »
Day 12

I've done a "dopamine detox" those last two days: very limited usage of screens and embracing boredom.
I used my screen only to read a workout program on one day and to read about investing the next day. Very limited usage of my phone - I just listened to a podcast yesterday. I finished a book, read the whole workout program and started another book.
I've had a 20 minutes meditation session 2 days ago and a 30 minutes one this morning.
I love it so much! It resets my brain, it sets it up for happiness.

I had a one hour walk with my stepmother while my girlfriend was out with a friend of her. I enjoyed it, she's really interesting and I like her.

I've also had good workouts and good times with my girlfriend. And I'm helping her cousin learn how to swim. And I've helped my brother understand some computer programming concepts. And he agreed to join a boxing club with me in September. I'm so happy about this.

Oh yes I never said it but, 90% of the times I workout, my girlfriend works out with me. It's a good moment we share together.
Getting a more muscular back helps me having a better posture.

3
In my case it often leads me to relapse so I avoid it

4
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: July 03, 2020, 02:19:23 AM »
Day 9
Times flies. I'm moving a lot between two places, it makes being consistent harder and sleep worse but I'm doing okay.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years now and we still love each other a lot. I'm happy about my relationship.

My muscular gains kinda got paused due to not staying at the same place for more than 2 or 3 days recently but at least I kept the habit by doing mini workouts everyday. I made 6 series of pushups yesterday and I plan to get a full back, triceps and shoulders workout tonight.

I've been feeling a lot of mental fatigue and dopamine desensitization - once again due to have just too much things to handle and too much short term emergencies.

I've been working for my new job for a month now and I enjoy it. I have a 6 months freelancer contract that I hope to keep for more than that. I'm well paid and enjoy my work.

5
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: June 24, 2020, 01:12:46 AM »
Day 7

I met with a friend yesterday and we had an awesome time.
But I then slept 2 hours less than usual.
I went outside to workout and stretch this morning.

I spent 20 minutes watching sexy pictures.
Triggers are always the same... poor sleep, a bit of alcohol yesterday, loneliness, screens too early in the morning.

I feel tired but OK overall and it's still early in the morning and I already had a workout, what a wonderful life I'm living

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: June 23, 2020, 12:51:34 AM »
Today is day 6

Chris, Sanders, thank you for your support, it means a lot.
Chris, I've always been attracted to women... which is a good thing in general... But early experiences of rejection in life altered the way I was thinking about women. I'm doing better now, I still have some work to do about that.

I've been doing great. I work well, I keep working out, I spent time with my brother, I'm teaching my girlfriend's cousin how to swim and I play with her family. I love them.
And I love my girlfriend so much.

I'm alone at my place again. I woke up and thought about women I used to know, but not in a lusting way this time. I was curious what they could have become, why we were not speaking together anymore.
I zapped every light sexual thought as soon as it was coming.

Then I read a bit and went out. I did my first pull ups and chin ups of the year. 6 series of 5-6 chin ups then 4 series of 4-5 pullups.

I feel amazing and in love.

7
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal towards freedom
« on: June 23, 2020, 12:43:36 AM »
Well done!

8
Ages 20-29 / Re: Hi New Relationships: new attempt
« on: June 23, 2020, 12:40:20 AM »
You're doing good :)

9
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal towards freedom
« on: June 17, 2020, 10:55:31 AM »
I'm impressed by your progress!

10
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: June 16, 2020, 01:07:47 AM »
Day 1

Yesterday was a good day: I worked well, I've seen new colleagues, we had a drink together and then I went playing volleyball with friends in a park.

I relapsed this morning.
Triggers were:
- seeing sexy girls in the park. Seriously there were a lot of girls walking dogs, doing fitness or running in fitted clothes...
- waking up alone, tired, feeling lonely.
- realizing my blocking app was not working: I immediately thought "ok let's profit from it, let's look at stuff just for a minute"

As soon as I woke up I started fantasizing and edging without a screen.
I then lied to myself, telling myself I'd just send a message to my girlfriend. Very bad idea. This lead me to use my phone, noticing the blocking app wasn't behaving normally and that I could profit from it. I told myself "just have a quick look" and then I was trapped... I wanted more and more and more.

Thoughts:
You have the choice between approaching women (hard, risky, takes a long time before you have sex) or PMO (easy, fast, unlimited experiences, never rejects you). I understand why P is so attractive.
Of course approaching women is the right choice: it teaches you courage and a lot more, it leads to no longer being "needy", it forces you to better yourself, you develop real relationships...
But what to do in my case? I have a girlfriend that I love, I'm just away from her for a few days.

Seeing all those beautiful women somehow hurts me every time. I feel frustrated. I had a few girlfriends but I've never been the kind of guy that attracts a lot of women. It hurts my self confidence. I don't know who to talk to about this. I have a beautiful girlfriend, why isn't it enough? Why do I feel like I'm not attractive and not existing to women in general?

Every time I see a beautiful girl I wonder if she's attracted to me - if I'm attracting to her. And I never know. And I feel bad for not knowing.
I feel beautiful when I'm alone in front of my mirror. I feel non-existing around girls.

I never experience this when I'm living far from the city and I see very few people. As soon as I go back to the big city... boom. So many beautiful girls in every kind of shape, style, skin color...

I'm experiencing chaser effect right now.

Conclusion:
"Messaging my girlfriend" is not an exception to my "no screen before 8" rule. It's just a trap, a lie I tell myself.
Loneliness is nothing. PMOing won't help - it just gives a temporary, poor quality relief before making the loneliness worse.
All I had to do was to go out of the bed. That's it.


I'm sad about my counter.
I'm happy about my life.

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: June 15, 2020, 01:17:24 AM »
Day 21
I'm back at my place, alone. I had urges yesterday night and this morning. Loneliness is my #1 trigger it seems.
I anticipated by making sure my blocking sites app was working on my phone.
I let the urges pass. I'm doing fine.

I had a good legs workout yesterday, shorter than usual because I had less strength this time.
I had a one hour walk, I spent time playing outside...

Today I'm going back to work. It feels fine, I like my new colleagues and I've been working well last week.
I'll meet with my brother either tonight or tomorrow.

I've completed all my morning habits this morning :)

12
Thank you Gary for everything you did and do, thanks to all people who help spread the message.
You changed the life of so many people, you'd be proud if you knew everything I achieved due to discovering nofap, and it all started with your ted talk.
The attacks against you or the guy from Nofap are ridiculous... You have my full support

13
Porn Addiction / Re: too addicted
« on: June 14, 2020, 03:26:13 AM »
The reboot process is long. Congratulations on being P free for months. You could talk to your gf about it, it depends on how you feel it, how you think she would response. I wouldn't talk about it if I knew it would start a drama though.
No your brain is not "broken forever", not at all. You'll get better and better.

You can fasten the process by reducing the time you spend on screens. P addiction is a high speed internet addiction.
You can not spend your life just "not thinking about P". Add new activities to your life, try new stuff and simply spend more time doing what you love. Spend time with people.

Also change your mindset. Never say you can't. Never ever say you can't do something. Yes you can beat this addiction and you will. And you'll do so much more in your life.

Keep fighting brother

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: June 14, 2020, 03:20:17 AM »
Day 20 !!

Thank you Chris :)

Yesterday I had a good arms workout, my biceps feel bigger today! I bought a new, well fitting shirt, spent time with my girlfriend and her best friend.
I had sex this morning.
Then I went for a walk with my girlfriend and her mother - 1 hour of walk under the sun.

I'll workout the legs later this morning.

My motivation to do productive things is so so, I haven't been as hardworking as usual regarding my daily habits (I kept working out - I didn't meditate & stretch and other tiny habits and I stopped writing in the evening).
I need to reevaluate my habits, I'd like to add one to be more social (like contacting 1 friend everyday) and one to work on a video course.
My will to live is high and my mood is excellent though.

Sex is always like that: I feel good but lazy in the sense that I spent some precious energy. I think that after sex the body feels like he accomplished something huge and there's no need to "hustle" anymore. I'm fine with doing physical stuff (working out, biking...) but lazy to do what requires being focused.

15
Ages 20-29 / Re: PIED, best thing that happened to me??
« on: June 14, 2020, 12:40:27 AM »
That's a good one!

16
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: June 13, 2020, 02:21:24 AM »
Day 18
Very good work out yesterday, I'm more and more athletic everyday.

The situation with my girlfriend got better, her friends ended admitting they were wrong, she got support, she told me she was sorry.

We had sex twice yesterday. This morning we cooked a meal together. We plan to bike and then workout this morning.
I woke up early, energized and happy - happier than the last days.

I also want to reevaluate some part of my life: my current habits, my plans for the next months.

I'm doing great.

17
Ages 20-29 / Re: Pushing back!
« on: June 13, 2020, 12:34:07 AM »
Isn't sleeping with girls a positive experience? Won't avoiding girls now get you used to avoid them for a long time and make it hard to meet girls when you're ready?

Congratulations on your 19 days streak :)

18
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal towards freedom
« on: June 12, 2020, 12:39:59 PM »
I of course hope you won't relapse but if it happened why would it have to ruin your relationship?

19
Success Stories / Re: I finally did it
« on: June 12, 2020, 01:17:59 AM »
That's an excellent and inspiring story :)

20
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: June 12, 2020, 01:16:38 AM »
Day 17
The day started great. I set my alarm to 15 minutes earlier than usual. Woke up early, energized. No more brain fog nor negative thoughts. High energy, decent willpower and drive. Morning wood.
I respected my rule to not touch the computer before 8.

I went out for a walk with my girlfriend and it was marvelous. It was like I had new eyes or saw colors for the first time. Everything was beautiful. The sun, the clouds, the mountains, the fields, the trees and their fruits... It was beautiful.

And then she fucked up everything. We had a 40 minutes walk. I listened to her and attracted her attention to positive things for 35 minutes because she was feeling bad due to difficulties with her main group of friends.
And then she went into stupid crazy mode. I told her she had some responsibilities in what happened and she simply told me she didn't want to talk to me anymore and walked away. Fuck that. I'm tired of that shitty attitude. It happens far too much: criticize legitimately a bit of her behavior and she'll take it as a personal insult and amplify it 10 times, talk about everything she did wrong in her life and fuck everything up.

She simply had a problem with her friends and then she ruined both meals with her family and I yesterday and this morning she was suicidal and wanted to leave me and then she fucked up our walk. I'm so done with her attitude.

I have so much energy. I'll workout like a beast tonight. I'll have an incredible day I'm sure. I hope you're all doing great!

21
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal towards freedom
« on: June 11, 2020, 01:41:33 AM »
There aren't many better feelings that the one you get after accomplishing or building something meaningful!
I wish I had a garden, seeing your plants and trees grow and give fruits in summer is so awesome!

Thank you for the STAR method

22
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: June 11, 2020, 01:35:18 AM »
Absolutely loving this forum.

You guys make it so worthy to be there!
Chris yes exercise man and tell us about it!

Day 16

Ok so yesterday night I got kinda depressed. All it took was spending 2 hours on twitter instead of spending time with my girlfriend.
Social Medias are so negative and depressing recently. I blocked twitter from my computer again. I'll have to find a solution to block it on my phone also as Block Site (app) is no longer working on my phone.

I woke up lacking energy and feeling lazy. I went for a 40 minutes walk and I feel much better.
I'm craving dopamine since a few days now - less willpower to do what matters and more cravings for bad stuff. No cravings for P though which is a victory. I notice that I struggle more with screen & internet addiction than with porn now (for years it was both screens + videogames AND porn)

I'll be extra careful from now on. I'll repeat my rules:
No screen before 8am (it was previously 9 but I start work at 9 and I enjoy writing here in the morning)
No screen after 5.30pm
Computer is for work only. Phone is for socializing only + music during workouts. No entertainment.

Reminders:
Inactivity leads to a depressive boredom.
It doesn’t matter what you enjoy. It matters what’s good for you.
Internet changes our brains.

The more I use my computer and phone, the less happy I am.
The less I use my computer and phone. The happier I am.
The more I do activities that don't involve screens, the happier I am.


I meditated less those last days, I want to go back to 20 minutes of meditation or even more (the longer I did was around 25 minutes, I'd like to be able to do 30, even 60!)

See you tomorrow guys!

23
Ages 20-29 / Re: Recovery is an incredible process
« on: June 10, 2020, 01:19:53 AM »
Cool journal :) Yeah the chaser effect is something pretty horrible... Keep fighting!

24
Ages 20-29 / Re: Hi New Relationships: new attempt
« on: June 10, 2020, 12:58:15 AM »
Come on Juan keep fighting! Go outside, take a cold shower, do pushups or meditate!

25
Nofap leads to hormonal changes and sometimes some stuff goes up, sometimes some stuff goes down.
When you flatline you have no sexual energy and desires and you lack drive. I remember my long flatline was a hard moment to go through, it really seemed like a depression. I had no drive and nothing was appealing to me.
So I get why your voice wouldn't be as loud as usual or that kind of stuff.

It WILL be deeper at some point.

I already noticed that voice could become deeper because of changes in hormones but not necessarily because of abstinence: sometimes it would go deeper for me after a decent streak of abstinence, sometimes it would go deeper after sex!

So yeah, expect changes, don't think about them too much, it's a process and it will get better and better, with very hard moments sometimes :)

Also about voice make sure you breathe through the nose not through the mouth!

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