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Messages - Andy_GJS

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1
Ages 20-29 / Clean sheet for myself
« on: October 31, 2016, 07:44:33 PM »
I'm not new here...

I have been going back and forth and failed many many times. I just hope that this time it really works...I'm currently studying and I'm currently attracted to one girl and I think I have to stop all these PMO things if I want this relationship to go far..

I'm a Christian, it is really painful when I have to live with many masks because I'm ashamed of myself about my porn addiction. On the other side people look up to me as a good person while inside I'm dying with this addiction. Having said that, I can't resist the temptations especially when I'm facing difficulties and stressful times in school. It's like my relief mechanism.

So yeah, I would like to start a new one. I have been falling again and again but I hope this time is different.

Thanks for reading.

2
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: April 01, 2016, 01:18:19 AM »
Okay I relapsed! :( :( :(

It started last night. I was not feeling well and I felt frustrated because of work and partly withdrawal from PMO. So I ended up MOed without P as to relief myself. However, in the morning I felt even worse thus I ended up with full blown PMO. It sucks but I try to think about things that I can improve to continue rebooting.

Learning points:
1) MO without P is not a good idea for someone at the beginning of rebooting like me.
I thought I can relief myself from the urges and since I'm doing it without P, I thought I won't disturb my rebooting. So, I guess I will try hard mode without MO at all. I'm still struggling how to deal with this especially my work is very stressful right now. So most of the the time I will feel like shit at night after work. Tips are most welcomed.

2) I have to put K9 and porn blocker in my phone.
My home PC is clean and protected with K9 and I don't have the password. However, I usually access my work PC using remote desktop connection because sometimes I have to settle some stuff at work and only can be done using my work PC. My work PC doesn't have any K9. Thus, from that remote desktop connection, I open all the P. It's impossible to open P at work. So the remote desktop connection is the only problem.

I tried to install K9 but somehow it clashes with my work place proxy. Thus, I can't access internet at all after I install K9. Currently I'm still trying to find another software to block the websites.

For the phone, I haven't found any app to block the website.




So yeah, I will start from 0 again. Hopefully this time can beat 9 days. sighhh...

3
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: March 29, 2016, 06:17:32 PM »
1 Week! I've been clean from PMO...

No website or video.. However, I peeked at erotica then managed to (so far) gather myself up and closed it especially when I feel stressed at work... I dunno why it's very difficult for me to resist this one in particular.

I will try to list down the reasons why I want to quit PMO so that I can re-read this when the urges attack me.
1) Saving myself for my future gf or wife (currently I'm close with 1 cute girl)
2) Cure porn induced dysfunctions (I'm pretty sure I have PE problem now)
3) Allocate my precious time for more important things in my life
4) Socialize more with other people around me
5) It's a sin. I want to get rid of it and live my life the way God want me to
6) Graduate from graduate school on time
7) Make my family especially my parents proud

I will add more reasons later.

At day 6 and day 7, I felt some strong urges. According to my experience, this will lead me to relapse if I don't O. It's because I will slowly open things from sexy pictures to full blow P. So, I'm wondering what if I relief myself through MO without P. Is this going to ruin my reboot? Is this a good idea? Please help!

4
Ages 20-29 / Re: The Brave Father and Husband - Matthew 14:25-33
« on: March 28, 2016, 06:08:36 PM »
Hi there,

I just decided to be active in this forum again. I've been relapsing again and again but yeah, now I've been clean for 6 days. Hope you are doing well. Keep it up! Let's fight!

God bless!
Andy

5
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: March 28, 2016, 05:57:50 PM »
Another day has passed! Thank God!

Hmm.. It wasn't that good day for me at work... I opened 1 tab on erotic story website but managed to gather myself and close it immediately. Then I met the girl that I like for dinner.. Love it! back felt so tired... bathed and slept directly (no time for PMO thoughts)

Woke up this morning, feeling some strong urges... Does anyone experience the same thing? Again, I went to instagram. I re-installed the app so that the browse history is gone.

So far, I managed to hold on but gotta find something to do with these 2 things because they can lead me back to the ugly relapse!

Have a great day ahead everyone and stay clean from PMO!
God bless!

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: March 28, 2016, 05:45:54 PM »
Hi All,

Yes I'm not new here. I used to be active in this forum but at one point of time, I just stopped because I keep relapsing. Now I decided to revive this journal and start writing again

I guess today I want to start a new one especially after this Easter. Yes I'm a Christian.

Anyway, I've been clean for 5 days. I kept myself busy mostly at church throughout the long weekend. However, last night the urge started again.

My current biggest struggle now are erotic stories and instagram pictures.

I hope to get some support from you guys here. Also, let me know if I can help you in any way.

Thanks for reading!
God bless!

7
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 13, 2015, 04:19:55 PM »
Relapsed!!!!! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Start from day 0 again.... I couldn't control the stress in me...

When I thought I'm making progress.... sighhh

8
Ages 20-29 / Re: The Final Push - My personal journal - RELAPSED AGAIN :(
« on: November 08, 2015, 07:21:17 PM »
Hey man!

Nope! It's totally normal to relapse. You just need to get up and try again. Believe me I know, I will think really hard about what if last night I can resist, if only I do this and that last night my streak will still continue. You just need to stop all that man! I know it's not easy but thinking of that will just worsen your depression and it's easier for you to relapse again.

So, start with a new day.. day 0... new spirit... you can even start a new journal just in case reading your old post will depress you.

Cheers!
Andy

9
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 08, 2015, 07:13:38 PM »
Day 5 and 6

I survived weekend!!! It felt really great!

It's definitely not smooth but I managed to hold on! The urges were real man! I have to be honest here. I encountered few P subs from social media. Suddenly all the P images went into my brain. It was brutal man.

Despite all the challenges, I made it. Had a great Sunday service yesterday. It reminded me that God is good and He will definitely help me through this storm. It reminded me why I'm doing this!

So, it's a new week, new day! Stay strong people! WE CAN DO IT!

Cheers!

10
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 08, 2015, 07:08:25 PM »
hello andy;
I saw your answer on my notebook and I decided to take the time to read your story; it is similar in suffering and I am happy because I found someone like me and wants to stop this mess.
I am in my 6th day and since I am a student, and you've read my story in which I unveiled a bit my personality, I find great difficulty; I never slept with a girl, even flirting, so plan to do this becomes more intense but I try to curbing those urges


I wish you good luck, I'll try to go see your news every day :)

Courage, do not forget, no PMO during the rest 2015

Thanks alot tyobes7!

I will try to post everyday here. Same here. I never sleep with a girl so it's kinda harder for me to resist the urges since PMO is the only way to relief. However, I gotta stay strong and find thousands other things to distract my mind!



Staying occupied is one of my biggest problems too.  Video games help unless they have attrative girls in them, then I just want to go watch porn.  I have a big family so they keep me busy but they dont know the battle I fight with porn.  I wish I could be honest with them, but I dont want the shame and disapproval.  I can imagine that living by yourself makes it a lot harder, when we feel alone we are most likely to reach for the safety blanket of porn.  Stay strong my brother, I will be praying for you.  Let me know if you need an accountability partner, we are all here to help you.  Remember this is a battle and we are all bretheren soldiers.

Hi AgnitioSano!

Yeah I know. I think I went through that before. Played a game to distract myself but end up watching porn. Oh, same here! I'm ashamed to tell anyone around me including my family. Yes, living alone is a real challenge but I gotta start somewhere right? hehe.

Thanks for the prayer! I will pray for you as well. We are in this together and let's fight it!

Blessings!

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: This is the time!
« on: November 08, 2015, 06:59:59 PM »
Hi J,

congratz on the 1 month achievement! It's awesome dude!

About deleting K9. I think it's okay if you feel you have enough willpower to stay away from P. Probably you can try this blocking trick. This one is 'weaker' than K9 but still something. Just in case.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oxq-9ed4tP4

Cheers!

12
Ages 20-29 / Re: I have a problem with porn.
« on: November 08, 2015, 06:55:39 PM »
Hey dude!

Keep the spirit dude! Enjoy the Sunday service as much as possible. For me, the Sunday service yesterday reminded me why I want to break away from porn. It was a good experience!

Enjoy your Sunday!
God bless bro!

13
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 06, 2015, 06:30:53 PM »
Day 4

Today I woke up with a better condition. I had a pretty long morning boner. I felt better than the previous 2 days.

Worked the whole day and was out at night for some church stuff. When I reached home I was too tired but I couldn't sleep. That's where the nightmare started. The urges were super strong. My brain keeps trying to negotiate with me by telling me.. it's okay to relapse.. 1 peek wouldn't hurt...

I opened the P but it was blocked by K9. I quickly took a bath and went straight to my bed afterwards.

Weekend is coming. I have a quite busy weekend ahead. However, i think my reward system is kicking in. It's like telling me that I have worked hard the whole week. Let's have some fun (which usually I will PMO).

So I hope I survive this weekend. Stay strong and positive guys!

Cheers!

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: I have a problem with porn.
« on: November 06, 2015, 06:19:38 PM »
Hi there!

I'm about the same stage as you. My head keeps trying to bargain with me... It's okay to relapse.. It's okay to just a peek... 1 picture won't hurt... and so on..... It's tough really.

Weekend is coming and hopefully I have enough distractions to survive the weekend.

Have a good weekend with your family dude! Stay strong!

God bless!

15
Ages 20-29 / Re: Started at 13... Now decided to stop at 27 (24/07/2015)
« on: November 05, 2015, 06:10:09 PM »
I agree with AgnitioSano

Relapsing sucks but that why we are all here. We need to support and encourage one another! Keep going my friend! We are in this together.

Probably you can read up some of the ways or tricks to fight strong urges like exercise, cold bath, and many many more.

Cheers!

16
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 05, 2015, 06:01:25 PM »
Day 3

Nothing much today. Just normal day at work and I talked to a girl that I'm chasing for about 1 hour on the phone.

Checking on withdrawal symptoms:
- Still lack of concentration --> can't focus for a long time
- P images were popping up in my head when I saw hot girls around which led to some strong urges

17
Ages 20-29 / Re: REAL's journal
« on: November 05, 2015, 05:54:52 PM »
Hi man,

Yes, WE WILL SURVIVE! let's do this!

All the best!


18
Ages 20-29 / Re: The Brave Father and Husband - Matthew 14:25-33
« on: November 04, 2015, 04:27:34 PM »
Hi John,

I totally understand your struggle with fetish. After all, our PMO addiction will tell us to find something new or novel to satisfy our crave. So, it's very normal to get trapped in the more and more weird kind of P.

and I agree with DreamNoFap, it's good that you try to re-wire your brain off your fetish by PMO-ing to normal P. But i think it will be even better if you go hardmode and no P at all. I know it's not easy but we are in this together.

I couldn't be happier to read about your spiritual struggle because now I know I'm not the only one who is going through that struggle. I'm a Christian too and it's been a crazy, grueling spiritual battle inside me between my addiction and God. For one day I will ask God for forgiveness and strength to fight it but a lot of times i fell and relapsed. It was so bad that one day after relapsed I asked myself, do I still deserve God's blessings in my life.

So now, I'm attempting to stay away from PMO altogether. It will be a great Christmas present for myself: free from PMO until the end of 2015!

Feel free to PM me when you need help. We can help each other man!

Stay strong and God bless!
Andy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR8rlTIU8_Y

19
Hey man!

That's my goal too! free from PMO for the rest of 2015.

It's been my 2015 new year resolution to quit PMO but so far nothing good. I do really hope it works this time at least for the last 2 months of 2015 I can proudly say I don't touch PMO at all.

We are in this together!

All the best!

Cheers,
Andy

20
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 04, 2015, 03:51:38 PM »
Day 2

There is a good feeling when I realized that I survived 2 days.

Also, I've got good feedback from my boss regarding my work for the past 6 months. I can only imagine that the feedback will be much better if I'm totally free from PMO. So, that motivates me even more to stay away from PMO. THANK GOD for all that!

However, I found it really hard to concentrate and the fatigue is still there when I woke up this morning. Lacks of energy. I didn't expect the withdrawal symptom will come to me this fast.

Some urges and dirty thoughts came when I got back from work especially I stumbled upon P-subs pictures in social media.

That's all for now!

Cheers and stay strong guys!

21
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 04, 2015, 03:40:38 PM »
his is what i am thinking to do for the porn blocking thing.

The devices in which i use porn:
1) phone
2) laptop

softwares that i am going to use:
1) k9 in laptop (if it comes to it then even paid version, i am an open source guy use both window and ubuntu)
2) comvigo in phone
3) set up an open dns network in the wi fi zone so no porn can be viewed.

In laptop, there is no anti porn in ubuntu so I am going to install k9 in windows and then register it with my friends id and i will ask my friend to set a password and that he does not tell me for the next five months. the same will be done with comvigo. the problem arises about the ubuntu. so what i am going to do is that i am going to transfer all the data of ubuntu and then ask the same friend to change my ubuntu password. then i have no access to ubuntu (it is very difficult to hack in my ubuntu because i have changed a lot of settings, i do not know the process and will not try because of the fear of corrupting the drive.)

The problem is that I have not yet told the friend about the reboot of addiction. SO i  am just going to lell him that i waste a lot of time watching it and want to get away for some time. any guy can understand that "Wasting a lot of time on porn" Right?  :P

It is very important that you register with an account whose e-mail password you do not know because you can be tempted to recover password of k9 or comvigo by deception tactics of 'forgot password'.

Also in your mobile phone take up some data which is important and cannot be transferred, with this you cannot possibly factory reset your phone. the data can be complex app settings or unfinished books on kindle. (you will lose a lot of bookmarks and they are a pain in the ass to relocate them, if you are a reading guy, you'll understand.)
 
Open dns is very important because it will block porn from a whole wi-fi connection so incase of a third divice you will not be able to access porn.

hope, this helps. and do inform me if you find a glitch in this plan.....



Hi man!

That's a good plan right there!

For me I tried K9 before and I planned to do exactly the same thing (ask a friend to change the password). The problem with me is that some of my work requires a lot of research (non related to P whatsoever). When I need to do this, K9 often blocks those sites that I need to open for my work. Thus, it will be troublesome if I need to ask my friend for the password every time I need to do work.

What I did was I set a long, unusual password that I will be difficult to remember or I only use once in a while. However, sometimes it backfires when I'm not strong enough to fight the urges  :'(

For phone, I don't access P from phone so I never try that app. Also, I'm not ubuntu user. However, your plans sound really good and bulletproofed man.

Lemme me know how's the progress after you apply all that and how does your friend respond to your confession.

Cheers!

22
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 04, 2015, 03:32:26 PM »
I would suggest finding a nice local bar where you can work from.


At home, if you are sharing your place with someone else, move you computer to the living room ;)

Hi Lapper!

Thanks for the suggestions,

Moving my com to the living room is not an option for me because I'm currently renting just a room so living room is out of bound for me.

The first one, yes I have been trying to stay late at work just to avoid being alone in my room. So that, when I reach home I just go to sleep straight away haha.

All the best to you too man!

Cheers!

23
Ages 20-29 / Re: I have a problem with porn.
« on: November 03, 2015, 07:01:16 PM »
Welcome and all the best!

Get a counter will help you monitor your progress! :)

Cheers!

24
Ages 20-29 / Re: This is the time!
« on: November 03, 2015, 06:59:53 PM »
Hi J,

It was a pleasure to read your story. I mean with all the ups and downs. I'm relatively new in this forum. I went all the way to 7 days but relapsed. So now I start back to day 1 again.

I'm very encouraged by the good progress that you experienced (aside from the one-night stand problem). I do hope I can experience it myself. I want that change in me!

All the best bro!

Cheers

25
Ages 20-29 / Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: November 03, 2015, 06:37:03 PM »
Back to Day 1!

Spent the whole day at home. I'm working from home. The temptation is huge! The mood swing is real bad.. I tried to shoo the urges away with games, sleep, or some light exercises.

I had this close relationship with a girl. We are very close but we are not together (yet). I think the mood swing affected my chats with her yesterday but when she asked me what's wrong, I just couldn't tell her about this.

When I woke up this morning, I feel like crap, no energy and frustrated. Usually what I will do is to PMO (what i used to relief myself from stress) thus the urges to PMO is really bad  :( . I think gonna hit a shower and quickly go to work before I relapse again.

I hope things will get better soon.

Cheers all!

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