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Messages - Wanttobebetter

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1
Porn Addiction / Re: Frightened and Humbled
« on: June 22, 2014, 02:06:31 AM »
3 days 1 hour. Still here

2
Porn Addiction / Re: poem about porn
« on: June 20, 2014, 02:51:33 AM »
Beautiful, thanks

3
Porn Addiction / Re: Frightened and Humbled
« on: June 20, 2014, 02:45:08 AM »
You know, for a long time I was a drunk son of a bitch. Managed to climb out of that a long time ago. But this latest porn binge was a black out, just the same. There was a power there and it was cold and cruel and consuming.
Makes me want to cuss, but I'll spare you.

4
Porn Addiction / Re: Frightened and Humbled
« on: June 20, 2014, 02:30:48 AM »
A while back I had 42 days. Now I have 1 day and one hour. In between there is a lot of time I don't even remember. I know I'm a few thousand bucks poorer. When you're deep under the spell it's lonely as hell.

5
Porn Addiction / Frightened and Humbled
« on: June 19, 2014, 12:38:29 AM »
Right now I prefer to just be be back and not say much about where I've been for the past couple weeks. It was a dark place. I never believed my addiction had such power.  I need to start sleeping again. Time to come home to Reboot Nation and start again.

6
Porn Addiction / Site blocker
« on: June 10, 2014, 05:32:52 PM »
I'm sure this has been discussed elsewhere on Reboot, but II can't locate the thread.
Please tell me ios App options that can prevent me from getting to selected websites.  Thank you!

7
Ages 40 and up / Re: Total relapse
« on: June 10, 2014, 04:46:47 PM »
Thanks for the positive thoughts.  I knew better. Just so darned disappointed in myself. I fell off for 2 days. Where the hell was my brain??? Dammit.

8
Ages 40 and up / Total relapse
« on: June 10, 2014, 10:23:12 AM »
Dammit. Total fall over backwards relapse. Dammit

9
Porn Addiction / Re: *NoPORN May Challenge*
« on: June 03, 2014, 09:00:26 AM »
33 days in, going for 60. I picked a goal of sixty days for no apparent reason at the time. I think when I hit 60 days, I'll change my goal to "forever", one day at a time.

10
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: June 01, 2014, 10:02:42 AM »
Great stuff, Androg.  Thank you!!!!!!

11
Ages 40 and up / Re: This is where I need to be!
« on: June 01, 2014, 12:20:52 AM »
Welcome tj!  First off I'm 63. I don't know about you, but I'm looking to squeeze out 20 or30 more years before I get off this planet.
You know what I've discovered in the 30 days since I joined this process and this great group? My brain is coming back to life!  I am more alert, enthused, attentive, excited, alive!
So hang on, you life will get better and as it does your brain will ask, where have I been?
Oh, and by the way, every other victim of porn on this site will agree, when we first started into the world of porn, we had no idea what was coming at us.  Were we stupid, no. Vulnerable to a very powerful sexual stimulus, yes.  Finally, had we known then what we know now, I believe the majority of us would have walked away from porn.   
You've come to the right place.  There are some great people with great thoughts to share which will help you immensely!

12
Porn Addiction / Re: A New Girlfriend
« on: June 01, 2014, 12:05:23 AM »
Hello msr44,  I don't have an answer for your very good question. But there are some really good people on here who will be along to share their wisdom. 
I will say this though, you are definitely doing well in facing this, asking questions, and wanting to heal.
Standby, I know answers will be forthcoming.  Good luck and fight the good fight. You'll be okay.

13
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: June 01, 2014, 12:00:46 AM »
Not sure I understand random123...

14
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: May 31, 2014, 07:30:31 AM »
For Gracie...

15
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: May 29, 2014, 07:12:28 AM »
I think I will reserve most of my comments here, sorp. I want to see what others have to say as well. I would ask though if according to how I read your comments, I should go thru life with my eyes closed. You seem to be saying that if I look at a photograph and attempt to analyze what the features are that draw me to the subject in that photo I am actually doing little more than objectifying and placing value. Why should a face be any different to observe than a photo of a tree or a photo of Half Dome?
I'm also not sure that comparisons to young Elliott are useful in this particular conversation. It is clear to me that however sad and shocking the event may have been, the young man was clearly insane, making any comparison thereto a bit difficult relative to our thread here.

16
Ages 40 and up / Re: Enough
« on: May 29, 2014, 12:09:44 AM »
Very nice of you ssoac,  I'll give it a look and I thank you!!

17
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: May 28, 2014, 11:45:31 PM »
"I don't know what it is that I find attractive in a woman's face but I see it in some faces and not in others."

Exactly, lte. Photos especially just baffle me. I see a photo of a face that stuns me. Yet, I look and I look but I can never actually describe precisely which features pull me in. It is a wonderful mystery and I do enjoy examining my inability to describe what I see. I don't spend a weird amount of time staring at a photo, but it is fun to occasionally delve into what's going on. Body features are pretty obvious, it's those pesky faces I can't figure out.

I wonder what the female perspective is on this?


18
Ages 40 and up / Re: Enough
« on: May 28, 2014, 09:14:45 PM »
Hey ssoac, find me a site like this that will convince me to run a couple miles and I be forever in your debt! Stay well.

19
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: May 28, 2014, 09:07:44 PM »
What a wonderful opportunity Reboot Nation is. Every encounter I have had recently with a woman, be it in conversation, business, or just a stranger in passing, now has me alert to my behavior, my thoughts, and my interaction.

Respect is what is happening now.

Each man and woman on the planet see features in others which each finds to be attractive.
Each man and woman possess certain physical features that make them attractive to others.
Certain unique features are attractive to one but not another.

Have you ever looked at a face you find beautiful or handsome and actually been able to say just exactly what it is that you find beautiful?  I've tried and find it impossible. I look and I know how I feel, but I honestly cannot identify the specifics to describe why. Try it sometime and I'd love to hear what you think. One person finds another beautiful, while a third observer does not. It's a sweet mystery.

So finally, I am seeing comments on this thread that it is a normal human condition to observe physical features in others. It is normal to observe those unique qualities we find beautiful in others, just so long as we do not linger with our eyes and we make our observation respectfully. Also it is imperative we do it in a manner that respects the one we are with while allowing the one we are with to observe other human beings as well.

Since the beginning of this topic I have hoped to hear some acknowledgment that the singling out of our observations upon others based on what we each uniquely find attractive in others is okay. At last someone (Bibbity) has said it.

If we simply behave and respect the human beings involved it is normal and okay to notice.

Just made 4 weeks. I love you all. Thank you

20
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: May 27, 2014, 07:10:16 AM »
Men being mentors for young men coming up...great advice Bibbity.

21
Ages 40 and up / Re: A new beginning..
« on: May 26, 2014, 12:13:14 AM »
About that Pastor that asked you to join him for supper? You should do it.

That said, I am an athiest. No biggie, I just am. I only mentioned it because I thought it might be useful for you to know in order to put my comments in some sort of context. I love everyone, regardless of their beliefs and wish everyone only happiness.

But on my journey, I discovered that I though do not share faith with Pastors and Priests and Rectors and Ministers and Rabi's they are really wonderful, beautiful people to talk to. I have had amazing conversations about all sorts of topics with a local Episcopal Rector I've gotten to know over the years.  The percentage of preachers you will want to run away from is about the same as the general population. So give it a go. Go have a bite to eat and you might just see this person is the breath of fresh air you've been needing for a few weeks.

Also. No more references to, "Not looking for a pity party..."  Just keep talking and keep reading. You're gaining control, little by little. You'll be okay.

Btw, I look forward to hearing what you had for dinner !

22
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: May 25, 2014, 06:43:12 PM »
The reason I brought the subject up is because there is such a totally convoluted set of factors that go into it, I may never understand completely.

I'm doing well, I really am. I'm being very observant of my actions, my movements and those of others in my vicinity. I'm getting better and at peace with my behavior and my progress. I respect both genders equally and see not solely gender issues but humanity and society issues.

I keep thinking this whole topic of men and women viewing each other in our everyday lives is so much more complicated than anyone has addressed.

This is not porn. This is not some cruel, consciousless, inhumane, phoney, profit making film production that grabs people out of their everyday lives and turns their minds to mush.

This issue of men and women observing each other in everyday life seems to be a dynamic that is evolving faster than our ability to comprehend it.

The whole thing is hugely frustrating, out of balance, even hypocritical, from both genders.
What the heck am I missing?

23
Women / Re: Help- Questions
« on: May 25, 2014, 12:08:54 PM »
Hi Questions.  You could not have found a better place. The first step is to admit you are frightened (which you have) and the second step is to find help (you've found it!)
Slow down a bit and write about what is scaring you the most. What behavior or thought or emotion or physical/mental effect is creeping you out the most?
You are in a safe place now. Trust this place and the people here. Nothing you will say will be new to them. We're all in this together. Welcome home.
Now, please, start again...

24
Women / Re: Women's Addiction
« on: May 25, 2014, 11:59:46 AM »
We're here for you, Questions. Where is your post ? Or just write your problems here and we can understand what ails you and your fears and get about giving you some help!

25
Porn Addiction / Re: Objectifying Women
« on: May 25, 2014, 11:55:49 AM »
Okay women, help me understand a couple things please...

Tights are not pants. Anybody agree? If a woman heads out for the day to pick up dry cleaning, put gas in the car and update her voter registration, wearing tights, what are her reasons for that clothing selection and what are her expectations for male reaction?

Tube tops. Somebody able to explain them from the female perspective?

Next, was the thong not invented to create a seamless, non-existent appearance under clothing?

I am trying and I am really doing better, but life is about perspective. What is the female perspective? What is the male perspective?  What should they each be?

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