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Messages - Returner

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Porn Addiction / Re: *NoPORN May Challenge*
« on: May 16, 2014, 05:11:29 AM »
Still in this  ;D

Porn Addiction / Re: May Challenge
« on: May 02, 2014, 06:48:35 PM »
Add me too :D

Porn Addiction / Re: April Challenge
« on: May 01, 2014, 01:24:53 PM »
Hey there
Will there be a No Fap May challenge ? :D

Porn Addiction / Re: Day 10 fog and anxiety Help!
« on: April 30, 2014, 10:49:13 AM »
Why don't you get anxiety medication from your doc. And you need willpower to get off porn. part of growing up
He is right about the willpower thing. Its hard for the first 20 - 30 days or so ( well for me ), but after that , the road is smoother.

Anyways , your going throug a normal phase. Anxiety , panic attack, obsessive, worried, suicidal thoughts....  The list is long.
Whatever you do , just don`t relieve yourself with PMO , but try to do things that will boost your "happy" hormones like meditating, running, pushing weights at the gym or at home, and TRY to avoid medication, but if you really can't then go for it.
And think positive all the time.For every negative thought try to add a positive one to balance. And ALWAYS smile.
Best of luck :D

Porn Addiction / Re: Im lost and afraid
« on: April 30, 2014, 10:37:46 AM »
I broke with my GF becouse of it, Im lonely staying in my flat most of the time... Im thinking to go to doctor this week, but i dont want to take medicine, so metitation would be the best way, it realy is, to cure my self..

Let this be a motiavtion my friend for you not to masturbate to the unreal, non-hearted pixels millions of people are watching daily not realizing that they are sadly ruining themselves :( .

Anyways , try meditation or just simple breathing exercises or take up a hobby or exercise.
Feel that void porn has caused.
Stay safe and have a great day.

Teens / Re: 19 and Beginning Reboot
« on: April 30, 2014, 10:28:09 AM »
Long sufferer  here too.
Listen, it is really great that you figured out at young age that you had a problem and whats the cause.Great,your problem is 50 % solved. Now just relax and think. Think about all the troubles you might have in the future like severe PIED , escalation to weirder porn types , having relationship troubles etc. .Nobody would like that.
Just focus on your goal of beating this , focus on not letting the "beast" take over , exercise and relax.
It might take a while to get where you want to get (like 3-9 months ) , but your future-self WILL thank you eventually. Stay safe my friend. :D

Teens / My first journal - The War Continues
« on: April 29, 2014, 04:56:12 PM »
Hey there guys.

Really sorry for the long post.

As you can see, first journal ever so i may be rusty but i hope i can help you too.
Anyways , why "Returner" ? Let's go way back to when i started watching porn and MO when i was between 12 and 13. It was great of course. I had high speed internet, free P web sites/tubes with different types of pictures, short - medium - long videos to watch and “do  business”.  And it was fun, a 12 year old found out about PMO and started doing it every day 1-5 times.
But as time passed ,so did the genre  of P passed from amateur straight– lesbians – lesbians with strapon  - shemales . Those “creatures” with feminine looks , bodies , and a male’s penis (eww). I had a thrill/excitement before I started to MO but ALWAYS horrifying (for me) after I MO to them. ALWAYS. A lot of questions were crossing my mind starting with the question “Why” and the ending questions were “When”. When will this all stop ?
This was going for 3-4 years (yeah I know, a LOT).
Then i encountered more problems like PIED (which I believe it is real BTW) with girls I was really horny with but … there was a problem. Down there. It just didn’t want to go up. After a couple of unsuccessful  times I thought I was gay and I was obsessed about it (mind you before everything, I had obsessive compulsive disorder, where now I’m better, not cured but better :D )  . See how porn can screw your thoughts up ?
Fast forwarding to may 2013. I somehow discovered the “power” of no fap. I didn’t M for a week I believe and I had the energy to do billion things like reading, learning, exercising , socializing more than I used to. And that was before I knew anything about no fap, the limbic system , the novelty etc. .
Then after the week , I MO and felt horrible.

Then on July 9th 2013, I fapped again and it was my last fap  in 2013.
In the first weeks, I was abstaining without any help/support from the internet. Then simply out of curiosity I  went on the internet and found a lot of people claiming that there are benefits from no fap  that some of them I experienced , and eventually I found YBOP. It was mind blowing for me. I learned a lot of stuff about addiction of any kind , how it works , the withdrawals of all addiction including Porn. It was wow.
Then I found YBR, with a lot of people with different porn problems sharing and helping each other. I found a lot comfort in those stories in which I had something in common with like Gabe who mentally indirectly helped me with the fear of never beating the ED when I was in my 5th month of no PMO. And I abstained long in comparison with many( but that was not my motivation ), where I abstained 230 days. A decent amount for me at that time.
During that time, it was awesome. The best days. Happy, comunicative , strong (physically and mentally), confident, enjoyed girls and everything :D ,  enjoyed every detail of my perspective and lots more. Didn’t even think about porn. But as you can see , I talk in past tense :( .
At the beginning of March I failed. Why ? Stupid decision.

                  SMALL TRIGGER

 Wanted to delete all my porn accounts I had and accidentally saw a porn picture by which I was mesmerized by it. And I let my guard down. Although it was one of the best O in my life, I felt like the old me again. And I dislike him. And then I started the cycle again.  Binged , and binged until the end of march.
Tried to end the cycle again and lasted like 27 days or so and relapsed again.

Soo, here I am guys.
I would like to return to my old (no fap) self again. Hope you can support me through the journey I long passed and hopefully surpass it some day.
Of course, I’m here to help others who struggle or who were in a similar situation. So if you have any questions, shoot :D

Thanks for reading !

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