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Messages - xtc14

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I'm at a year.....I don't have the exact date and I'm seeing improvements. Finally out of my latest FL......It was the worst ever.

It does come back. Trust me and every other success story you read.....I'm not 100% yet.......My junk is usually 70-80% hard but libido is maybe 50%.......This is huge considering I was at 0% and 0% 7 months ago.

Hang in there......It works but not as fast you would like..............


What do you consider to regain your libido?

Does it mean having the drive to go out and meet women? I'm asking because nowadays it feels like a chore going out just for the sake of meeting women, not to mention that you get approach anxiety when trying to talk to them, maybe one thing is libido and another is anxiety.

Having listened to the author of the book Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, your least concern right now should not be performance anxiety, just go to the date, have fun, and if afterwards at a later day the times comes for you to be intimate with her just enjoy the experience, focus on making her feel good (cuddle, kisses, etc), If you made her feel good by doing that she would like to hang out with you for more intimate encounters, just don't be 100% concerned whether your dick will work.

Thanks for your reply.

Some more info:

Before this 90 days period, I've been attempting to quit PMO since last year, I went almost 60 days of no fap, and then had sex with a girl, then some more periods of fapping, then again abstaining. I'm keeping a log and the trend is the number of orgasms since August last year is less than 20.

Another detail, before having sex this Monday with this girl, she jerked me off on 01/29/16, and I just shoot loads of cum.

Regarding the condom issue: I think it's the technicality of putting it on, I was attempting to put it in the wrong way (inside out), and then struggled to put it on, and that's what it made the erection fade away a little bit.

One note is that I had a vasectomy 2 years ago and this girl knows about it. Maybe I should try to talk to her about going raw, but first having both of us run some tests just to see it we have some STD's.


I've completed 60 days clean with no PMO, then 'relapsed' and jerked off like 6 times for a day, then more 30 days I've been clear.
I started having sex with a roomie 2 times, I was hard but when putting the condom it got a little bit limp, also some alcohol was involved. I couldn't cum.

2 More weeks has passed and had sex with another girl, I was rock hard, then again upon putting the condom it went like maybe 50-60% erection, I was able to cum but I was not fully hard.

Is this problem mostly related to condom fit, or PIED?
I'm later trying some Crown condoms, the type of condom I used in those 2 situations were the Trojan Sensitive.

Porn Addiction / Activities to do when doing 90 days HARD MODE
« on: August 28, 2015, 06:14:15 PM »
I've been struggling to finally come clean and leave this habit.

After several relapses, I'm back again 15 PMO free, although yesterday I touched it briefly since it got hard after I woke up from a nap.
Anyways, I'd like to know if during the 'reboot' phase you should go out, ie. night clubs, streets and start conversations with women, my whole life I've been this insecure guy when approaching, although I've had relationships with some women, they were not hot by any means, but I've met them more through online dating sites than real interactions.

Should I just do some hobbies and 'reject' the idea of interacting with women until I feel my libido is back; I don't really feel like talking a chick on the street, I guess it comes down to shyness + not having the libido which is required for you to engage them.

I feel really lonely and depressed, I just switched jobs in my country Mexico, and I know anybody here, I like to do cycling, but haven't really explored any groups. I don't know what should I be doing with my time, should I avoid talking to women, firstly because I don't feel the drive to talk to them.
Last night I almost relapse hearing two people having sex, the sound of a women having sex makes me go wild and to want to jerk off so bad.
Also I'm having a hard time concentrating at work

Any advice is appreciated.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot at 30..
« on: July 14, 2015, 10:24:52 AM »
It's been a while since I posted

But unfortunately failed the no FAP strike at day 40 with a woman from my work that I had a crush, was only a fling, nothing emotional. I regret having sex because that triggered me wanting to have release again with masturbation, then eventually with porn.

I relocated to a new job and fapped almost everyday due to stress and being alone.

Here I go again :(

Porn Addiction / Re: 1.5 years PMO free, what would I change?
« on: May 04, 2015, 10:25:27 PM »
Congrats on your feat.

I too was the victim of randomly getting sex when I was horny with whomever girl I could find in an online site just to get off, usually those were unattractive fatties, not to offend, but I did not truly desired their bodies, I was just using them for my sexual pleasure, after that I would just masturbate even more with or without porn.

I think that it is this obsession that it cripples us in going after what we really want, a girl to whom we find attractive and to share a connection, not just meaningless sex. This is a experiment on my part to see if no PMO "cures" this tendency to just want to nut and ignore your standards of beauty just for the sake of getting off.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot at 30..
« on: May 01, 2015, 09:58:57 AM »
Hey thanks for the reply guys.

I also forgot to mention I live far from my family, and just recently in these days I got a job offering in a town nearby my home city so I would be seeing more of my family, pets. However, yes I do need a more social life, all I do is go to work, go to gym and then home again.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot at 30..
« on: April 29, 2015, 09:46:57 AM »

Is it normal to get waves of depression, like not wanting to talk to people or to approach women? I find it depressive that I've been no fapping for almost 25 days and I've not approached girls I find attractive, a thing it has been buggered me all my life. Should I try to force the approach, my social life is almost nonexistent and also zero friends to hang out with.

So what happens if after 90 days you still feel crappy and do not regain spontaneous erections, does it means you need more time to reboot and if this means that you should further no PMO until you get erections and regain your libido back?

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot at 30..
« on: April 27, 2015, 10:22:52 PM »

A quick update.

I just signed up to the Gym.
Bunch of machines and of course attractive women, big butts, fit and good looking. I was scared of getting into a relapse. The women were there doing some crazy exercises with their butt in the air, it was hard not to look, strangely I did not get any bored even though I found them very attractive.

This flatline is very scary, nevertheless I'm there to exercise and not getting my hopes up of striking a conversation, still my confidence is not up there.
Getting a little bit depressed because this endeavour since like it's taking forever and the erections are gone with the exception maybe in the early morning, but that's it.
Porn seriously messed up my brain circuitry.
Keep holding..

Success Stories / Re: What quitting PMO for a few months did for me!
« on: April 21, 2015, 09:39:13 AM »
Thanks for the reply.
Actually last year I lasted almost a month no fapping and I approached a cute girl promoting cell phones, felt nervous but was motivated to do so.
There's some powerful stuff when you stuff numbing yourself with porn and masturbation, let's see how this time goes.

Ages 30-39 / Re: Reboot at 30..
« on: April 20, 2015, 05:14:54 PM »
Thanks for your reply phoenix.

This past 2 weeks I've been feeling very low energy, with sleepiness, feelings of depression and hopelessness. I'm sure PMO is the one to blame.
Actually I have a FWB (Friends with benefits), not an attractive girl but it served me as a way to get sex, although in between seeing her I relapsed and fapped to porn, so I guess I would have to continue going on HARD mode.
Or, I could work on getting a girlfriend, but maybe she will want to have sex before I reboot, and it will be kind of awkward telling her about this reboot thing.
I have had a loss of my longtime friend, a male Cocker spaniel in January, and I'm away from my family, I think that also contributes to getting depressed. I like cycling but so far that hasn't helped very much.
I've started taking St. John herbal medicine in capsules today, let's see if it works.
Good luck to you to in your reboot journey!

Edit. Last night I had a dream I was fucking a nice looking woman. I was inside of her raw, to be honest I thought I was having sex for sure, actually the sensation felt pretty damn good, and was conscious I'm on this no FAP journey, it simply was weird. In the morning I didn't wake up wet or anything, but maybe it's a sign the mind is starting to reboot? I also dreamt having holding a hand of a girl I liked but that haven't approached yet (was only Facebook friend), but now she's engaged. Interesting.

Success Stories / Re: What quitting PMO for a few months did for me!
« on: April 20, 2015, 09:38:52 AM »

I'm on the process of reboot.
Do you think one effect of the reboot is having the confidence to approach/meet very attractive women?
I've always wanted to date one of those stunners, but I think that I began using porn very young at 14 that could have sapped my confidence to go after what I want.
I have always had sex with average or even below average, fatties you could say.
I consider myself not to be bad looking, 6'1 tall, lean body, I think PMO has been the culprit of my self confidence issues.

Thanks for sharing.

Ages 30-39 / Reboot at 30..
« on: April 19, 2015, 09:29:45 PM »
Just thought I would make an account just to make my endeavour more trackeable.
I've been struggling to remove porn and masturbation (both together) since 2012.
Back on those days I moved to a bigger city and out of habit I will masturbate maybe daily or do a marathon in the weekend jacking off.
Started masturbating by recording VHS movies, some old mexican porno movies, I was hooked with the rush and the feeling, maybe started this when I was 13 or 14.
Was a late bloomer, had sex for the first time at 24. I couldn't cum the first time..
Wasn't able to get a proper girlfriend until early 2013 meeting her online. Before her I had some hook ups or "FWB" arrangements, none of these girls were smoking hot, maybe were in the 5, 6 category, not to sound superficial but I've always liked hot and attractive girls but for some reason I just couldn't land one of them.

When I met my ex-girlfriend I started having sex with her maybe in the 2nd or 3rd month dating her, the first time I couldn't get it up; I masturbated some days earlier. The next weekend we attempted sex again and it went OK by myself taking a diet of no porn and no orgasm.
As time went on my ex-girlfriend became less interested in sex, so I escalated rapidly on fapping to porn and orgasming several times, sometimes even after having sex with her.
In the end I broke the relationship because the lack of sex..

Now I'm 30 and single, after some relapses this year, I'm again at it, doing HARD MODE, and it's very hard, sometimes I feel like fapping, but the majority of the time I am on the flatline, only in the early mornings when going to the bathroom I wake up with boners but through out the day.

Now, is it possible to reboot while having sex, maybe occasionally from time to time, 2-3 weeks? I don't know if I should go on and proceed to continue with HARD MODE, I'm prone to have the CHASER EFFECT.

Thanks for the support here.

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