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Messages - jomjak

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Day 4; had morning wood again, 100% rock solid etc. Am totally avoiding all stimuli, easy when you don't watch TV (I do use the net, but have deleted anything that is remotely like P), and so far haven't been tempted to look for any P on the net (or elsewhere). No M or O either; the 'No M' is probably the biggest struggle so far; earlier today had a spontaneous 'erection' (maybe 10% - filled with blood so was a lot bigger but also completely floppy). Even that is a huge step forward!

I will keep documenting day by day, in the hope this may serve others who come across this! I am expecting there to be a 'crash' of libido (flatline); I'm not worried about this, and by documenting daily I hope to give a clear account of one person's 'reboot'. I will tidy up the first post after the reboot to give a timeline... hopefully including a flatline!

I've set 120 days which is a bit optimistic in some ways, but I am serious about never, ever seeing / doing P or M again, and only 'O' by natural means - and even that only after the 120 days! I find it interesting that culturally (until recently), M was seen as completely shameful / taboo; less so now; the majority of religions that are anti-M actually had it right all along! (although it was the development of internet P that probably that was the final thing that caused so many problems).

It still is frustrating that the Wikipedia page on ED has any sentences about PIED or anything related removed almost immediately. Over time there will be some papers in medical journals, and this will begin to turn things around!

OK; 3 days so far... Have definitely had cravings to P or M, but they do go away after a while. I can't explain it but I feel very slightly 'healthier' today overall. Had morning wood again today; given that I had reached the level of almost complete ED (with partner or alone!) from picture based P, but still have morning wood, it will be interesting to see if I get a 'flatline' that stops the morning stuff for a while. My libido is exactly zero anyway from PIED, so I won't be able to check that. On a more positive note, I did, today, for a few seconds (and not when viewing P or fantasising in any way) feel a slight (maybe 2% blood flow) burst of 'life' down below today; I know this may go during any 'flatline' but this (and morning wood) will be the things I monitor through my recovery.

Anyway... Onwards and upwards (hopefully, one day!) - good luck everyone!


So... this is my journal. I will update this first-post with more info later (if the Forum software lets me).

However, in short, I am 36, and have developed 'stealth ED' - after being single for ages, realised I have ED. Did some research and found out about PIED, but also about other possible causes (e.g. we need REM sleep to have nocturnal erections and if we have less REM / dream sleep, we can end up getting physical ED!). We have 4-5 erections at night lasting up to 30-40 minutes; this lets fresh blood flow in and allows repair to happen etc.

Anyway, I will be completely abstinent from P from today (a bold statement but will try to stick to it). Will also work on any factors affecting REM (dream) sleep and discuss these during the course of my journey.

Some good news is that, if we wake up with nocturnal erections / 'morning wood', then we know things are physically working fine (in most cases). It also shows that the repair system that generates nocturnal erections is working. I have ridiculously good 'morning wood' after I changed some lifestyle things to get a proper sleep. Still tough (read : almost completely impossible) during the day; was going to teach myself by using 'Mast....' to get erections with minimal input, but cold turkey from P sounds like the best possible idea at this time.

I will keep this 'blog' thread updated, and am happy to help others in any way if I can!

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