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Messages - Sampson Munk

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1
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: March 14, 2016, 02:53:09 PM »
I just accidentally hit backspace it deleted my entire reply I was typing.

Hi Rohit, nah mate I don't even have a girlfriend lol and I'm still a virgin. I am on a rollercoaster of emotions and don't want to start dating until I have a firm handle on reboot and a few months stacked on my counter.

ALRIGHT. I relapsed last night. Didn't mean to. It has occurred to me I need to be a hell of a lot stricter about where and when I use my devices. Also there is this tracking software on the school laptop it's really really stupid to watch porn but I couldn't stop. I really want to keep rebooting but again I just slipped and fell. I'm real stressed about exams and I was exhausted yesterday too. Maybe that's what helped fuel it. I was hellishly horny on Sunday and I guess I just gave in to 'surfing' which of course turned dirty and into PMO. Previously I have struggled greatly with the chaser effect I can feel it right now actually. I am looking to come back from this relapse smart, so I'll test my 'tactics' on this chaser.

I'm buggered cuz life has gotten so busy and reboot is beating the shit out of me. But I know the sooner I get it done the sooner I can start excelling and handling all of the opportunity's and commitments I have (drumming).

I'm realising that this addiction may be something that's with me a long time and that all of these relapses are helping me prepare to be able to fight it for a very very long time.

Here's another fallen soldier picking himself up and fighting on. cya guys.

2
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: March 10, 2016, 02:21:04 PM »
Hey guys

Just a quick update. Life has been pretty hectic. Since last relapse, 10 days now, I decided to start life again. Enough was enough, I had enough relapse, I wanted porn out. I started a new life where I was focused, hardworking, striving to be the person I wanted to be and without porn. It's going well. I'm not on social media, doing pretty well with study, procrastinating less. Things are going well. Porn's no longer part of me. I don't think about it and have actually been avoiding RN but i just thought I'd give update. Infact just typing this has dwelled something inside me. Oh well.

Cheers

3
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 27, 2016, 07:07:36 PM »
Just got back from walking the dog. Its Sunday morning 9:30 and this is a special post. I'm feeling really quite optimistic about the reboot now. I'm seeing this as a fresh start to try better, a new beginning, a second chance.

What happened yesterday:
I started procrastinating and made some stupid choices. Most were out of complete ignorance and unawareness of what I was doing on insta when I was actually looking for triggers. Got urges without even noticing then bam I'm looking at hardcore porn. I managed to walk away from it and spend most of the day with the family and doing chores, so my day was actually pretty good. It wasn't until night when the urges came back and, having deleted insta, I went to facebook search and found porn. Set me off. I hadn't PMO'd yet and tried to avoid it by taking my devices into the living room to charge but everyone went to bed and the urges to just peek got me. I ended up snapping and took my laptop into my room and PMO'd twice.

I knew I had slipped up and I really wanted to keep rebooting, so I said a prayer and made the promise again. This post is mainly for me to figure out how I can learn from this slip up and do better this time.

I figure, like numez, that the chaser is going to be my biggest obstacle over the next few days. I want to keep my strategies for fighting this chaser as reboot strats. Here's what I'm thinking (these are happiness and temptation/trigger prevention):
-Charge devices in living room at night.
-Unless doing homework, keep my door open.
-Run Thursday mornings
-Do my chores early so I can go to bed early
-Post every 2 days on RN. I found with the previous reboot the journal was good but I was coming back to it too much and thinking about P too much.
-Making a progress/relapse chart. My counter is great, but this thing is my own personal reflective thing where I can keep track of my progress and learn more
-Avoid facebook altogether and nail procrastination
-Make daily planners... including drumming until 5:00 afternoons.
-Pray and stay motivated! Come on reboot!

Heres my emergency plan:
-STOP AND THINK
-Address what I'm feeling (sad, hungry or mad ect.) and deal with it.
-Don't fight the urge, temptation or random visualisation. Just accept it and move on.
-Go out and spend time with family.
-OR do anything productive that you want to do (chores, walking, drumming ect.)
-Before you sit back down on the computer, take some time to think: "I only am going to do what I have to do on the device" "I am going to eliminate the temptation in the safest way without viewing it".

This may sound too organised but its just my ideas. Every decision I make in this reboot will be comprehended and I will make the right choice.

See you in two days time guys
-Sam

4
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 27, 2016, 08:52:49 AM »
Relapsed. It was a progressive thing that just killed me in the end. its now 11:45 way later than I like to stay up (9:30ish) and I have relapsed twice and spent the day fighting urges. I'm absolutely exhausted because of the time.

I have a bunch of negative feelings inside me, mostly fear of withdrawals and chaser, but otherwise I WANT to learn from this and come back, just quite disheartened by my fall. I have deleted Instagram and will be avoiding Facebook. Will probably post tomorrow sometime about a revised strat.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day. I am going to get a lot done and will steer clear of all porn and triggers. Porn will not exist tomorrow apart from when I'm starting the reboot again. I hope this time it will be faster progress than the previous... I don't want to keep going through this hell so I'm getting out of it.

Feeling pretty dead inside
But I will become indestructible, determination that is incorruptible.

See you guys in a happy, productive tomorrow.

5
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 26, 2016, 07:02:35 AM »
Day 24

Wow thanks everyone for the awesome support!
Numez, I actually found that the cold shower was really refreshing after the run (I live in Australia and it's summer here) and gave me this new sorta feeling that led me to having a really great day. Just my experience tho haha. True that mindset and just not watching is the main point, but this reboot ive done so many things more that have helped me cuz "just willpower" got me nowhere.

JL, thanks man! Yeah the jogging, drumming and rehersals were all thoroughly enjoyable yesterday and I went out with a small group of friends tonight for dinner and had a great time :) keeping busy and productive sure is a badass strategy!

I have to say the whole reddit link is sort of lingering in the back of my mind every little spare time I have but its defeated now its just sorta there. Apart from that it was a great day with no urges or really bad moods. I felt good and am noticing myself a lot happier and laughing louder. I also complimented some girls today which was nice :)
See ya layta

6
Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: February 26, 2016, 01:29:56 AM »
Wow man there is a lot happening for you here. The main thing I have to say is I strongly suggest you considering why you want to reboot. You have a lot of thoughts going on in your head at the moment and I think you just need to sit down and work it out. I find a great way to do this for myself is to write my thoughts down in a journal when I'm feeling troubled or like I have too much going on in my head.

While you doing this I also strongly suggest considering why you want to do reboot, if you actually want to reboot. I also encourage you to consider your usage of weed and masturbation as both are addictive.

The only advice I can offer you is that true beauty in women is not found just by attractiveness or body type (bust, skinniness ect.) but their personality. There are so many beautiful people around you, you just don't realise they are there. There was this girl I knew. She was Canadian in Australia, was a feminist and vegan, didn't shave her legs, wasn't exactly skinny and definitelty didn't have supermodel features. But she was so nice, genuine, friendly and just wonderful to be around that she remains one of the most beaufiful people I have ever met. I really am not trying to be mean in what I'm about to say, I'm just trying to open your eyes:
It's not sad that there isn't beautiful people around you. It's sad that you can't see them as beautiful.

I'll leave you on that and I hope you gets some clarity in your mind.
-Sam

7
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 25, 2016, 07:04:01 AM »
Day 23

Last night had some hellish urges. I was actually on YBOP when I clicked on a link that took me to a forum on Reddit. I have had past porn dealings with reddit so this was a big trigger. I started to do really stupid "accidental" deliberate things to look for triggers. Pretty quickly I found this one called Titties and Kitties. Lol big trigger (stupid name tho haha) and I "accidentally" clicked on it. Lucky for me there was a big MUST BE 18 button. I just stopped and looked at it. Two buttons. One to see some softcore porn. One to exit out. Big self conflict in this moment and I ended up seeing them as "keep rebooting" button and "fail reboot" button. So I painstakingly clicked exit and felt like absolute shit. I put my laptop out of my room and went into it again but exited out again then went to bed. Cleared my history this morning to get rid of it for good. VICTORY.

Hell yeah man had an awesome day off. It's Thursday we had the day off cuz the teachers went on strike. Got up with my alarm, went for a jog and had a cold shower. I procrastinated a little on RN lol but then I planned out my homework and got shit done. I then did some drum practice and had a rehearsal. Urge free after the jog, found it was a great way to get rid of that energy. Had a couple of depressed girls text me today but I'm going well. I am actually still feeling pretty big urges to go back on reddit but I'm not going to let myself.

Here's to a porn free today.

8
Teens / Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« on: February 25, 2016, 06:51:17 AM »
Hang in there bud I'm with you! My reboot started to de-rail over the past couple of days because I just became so unproductive and procrastinating. I went for a jog this morning and planned my day out that helped me heaps. I strongly suggest physical activity or something that will really help you chill at this time.
Keep chugging buddy
-Sam

9
Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: February 25, 2016, 06:48:14 AM »
Some still manage to keep MO in reboot as a result of natural horniness, but for many it is a form of dopamine release and causes addictive feelings and side effects such as the chaser effect and the constant need for a high.

10
Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: February 24, 2016, 07:05:44 PM »
In any porn addict's brain, what we are really addicted to is the dopamine rush. This dopamine rush comes when we see triggers, when we keep looking/searching for triggers and when we watch porn. An extensive amount is released when we orgasm to porn. So what our brains are actually craving is the dopamine. We aren't craving porn, we are craving the feelings (dopamine rush) porn gives us when we go to watch it. Theres a lot of explanation as to why we enjoy it so much it's got to do with desensitization, the addiction circuit and how dopamine is so closely related to our brains survival instincts.

My father described an addiction to me as the use of anyting where we cannot function normally without it. So, we are addicted to sleep, food, drinking ect. because they are all normal things. Due to porn's unnatural addictive nature (much like how our bodies are not designed to indulge in massive amounts of drugs, alchohol or junk food) the body has a hard time saying no and controlling it so it does not harm us. I could go on and on and on about how porn is harmful, but the main reason is brain conditioning. Look that up on the main page "The adolescent brain meets high speed internet porn".

I have word of caution for you: it is likely that you may be replacing the source of your dopamine hit from porn to masturbation and weed. You have placed guilt and shame on porn, but your brain still needs that hit so it will turn to masturbation (and orgasm) for that high so it can function normally. The same goes with the high weed gives you.

You cant solve a problem with a problem. What you are heading for here is having a masturbation and weed addiction based upon a porn addiction. Instead of being rebooted from porn and enjoying some other area of life like romance or productivity.

Like it was discussed earlier in your forum, any form of dopamine hit associated with porn (or getting high) will do nothing good for you in terms of beating this addiction. As masturbation also releases dopamine, this is like a soft form or relapse. You are still fueling your brain with copious amounts of dopamine to function properly. Another thing about masturbation is that, not only does it stand as a potential replacement addiction, but it can also trigger the chaser effect, which is simply the low from a dopamine hit, which will make you want to achieve the same high again by any means necessary (including weed, masturbation or PMO). This is why so many rebooters (like myself) will go hardcore, and replace the dopamine rush from porn with a dopamine rush from exercise, sport or playing and instrument.

Get some more education about this man. Be very careful not to give yourself more problems than you already cant deal with. Stand up to this porn addiction, commit to the reboot and start treating yourself this addiction like that past.
-Sam

11
Teens / Re: Rebooting...
« on: February 24, 2016, 06:32:43 PM »
Hey Jack

Yeah man when I was at your stage in reboot I found that. In your brain, desensitization has most likely occurred. This means not only that it takes more extreme, longer sessions of porn to deliver a similar rush of dopamine, but that also the normal amounts of dopamine in your brain have probably depleted as it is so used to the rush. This means that you will feel depressed and down, have trouble enjoying yourself, looking forward to thing, enjoying foods, loving and laughing. I got this as well at your stage in the reboot and I can promise you it got better. This is the part when you really start to realise that this is the current you when you're not on porn and you realise how screwed up you are. This feeling dies as you go further along and I still have it now, but I can pretty much feel it getting marginally smaller every day.

You may notice other mental issues such as paranoia, anxiety and pretty substantial mood swings. The most important thing to remember is that these are all progress. I felt every one of the things and am currently suffering lethargism and procrastination. Our brains are throwing tantrums because we took porn away, but they will accept it and adapt.

In regards to getting around this, spend your time doing things you enjoy doing, with people you enjoy being with at places you enjoy be at. Get a hobby, exercise and choose to be a happier person. Go and live man.

-Sam

12
Teens / Re: 15 yr , going to reboot
« on: February 24, 2016, 06:21:47 PM »
That's fantastic to hear! That's really good to hear about those dreams. It's progress! Keep going. You don't have to have a full on plan, but I'd invite you to have some sort of coping mechanism. Very recently for me I had super strong urges and nearly gave into viewing soft-core stuff. I got around this by taking my device out of my room and charging it in the living room. I also deleted my history and am not going to let me back onto that site again (reddit). I then went for a jog the following morning to expel some of that energy. Today I'm planning to do a lot of drumming and study to keep myself occupied. That being said its great to just not think about the addiction it helps heaps. But that being said I would just have a quick think about what you would do in an emergency :)

-Sam

13
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 24, 2016, 06:22:31 AM »
Day 22

Was a pretty good day actually. I still didn't get all the homework I wanted to get done but I have tomorrow off and I'm proud of myself for being productive and drumming. I'm also going to bed early. Going jogging tomorrow morning. I'm having some pretty big urges right now actually just before I hopped on here. Really craving soft core stuff again. I feel tomorrow will be a day of trial... but its my decision to make it a good day or not. Jogging and a cold shower sounds like a good way to start.

Still goin

14
Teens / Re: 19 male - PMO addict for a year and a half.
« on: February 24, 2016, 12:58:55 AM »
That's a good thing man. I was in your situation where I was just relying and failing on the porn blocker. By all means I support you going back into the mindset but its easier said than done. You can give it a try on its own and let me know how that goes. However, in my case, that wasn't enough. I actually got a new school device (laptop) with completely unrestricted internet access and I think it's actually helped me. Sure, I had a couple of relapses with it initially, but what it did for me in the long run was make me wake up and start fighting triggers instead of the blocker.

15
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 23, 2016, 03:36:30 PM »
Thanks a lot guys! Much appreciated.

AA- I expect this week to be the hardest (it's Wednesday today) but I'm hoping for it to get better from there. I've never gotten past the point of my brain accepting the withdrawals and going into flatline or whatever so I'm not exactly sure.

Life- Thanks man I know that one, but its good to have a reminder about it. I haven't been looking at porn pictures or even soft-core, its jus the act of actually clicking on the Instagram search button and scrolling down once or twice is a trigger for me and sets me off. Got to be more conscious to stay away from that. I have found a few very mild pictures that have made bigger urges, yes, but I have steered clear of them. Thanks tho Ill keep it in mind!

-Sam

16
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 23, 2016, 07:08:05 AM »
Day 21; 3 Weeks

Better day. Still struggling with urges, procrastination, mind fog and focusing on tasks. I'm going jogging on Thursday to get rid of some energy. Over the past few days I have been peeping at my Instagram search bar thingy and just scrolling though. My urges are actually all to look at softcore porn or view triggers, not view hardcore porn. It's like I'm craving the dopamine hit out of the thrill of findng triggers rather than the atual visual satisfaction or sexual release associated with PMO. Wrote down a few things about dealing with the reboot. My main one is to just stay busy and get through each day of this week with the reboot and I'll be happy.

Night

17
Teens / Re: 19 male - PMO addict for a year and a half.
« on: February 23, 2016, 02:01:00 AM »
It's tricky man. Porn blockers can be great but the most important thing is that you aren't looking for triggers. In my opinion, as soon as you are peeking at any sort of form or trigger, that's red light danger. In a way, for me, having only slightly restricted internet access is a good thing at the moment because it means I'm having to rely on distraction and not actually looking for triggers, which is like an alcoholic sipping wine. It also means its a lot harder to just give into an urge cuz you have to be consciously fighting it, rather than unconsciously giving in while you desperately try and find some form of hardcore porn on your device.

Hope this helps and that you figure out what will help you the most.
-Sam

18
Teens / Re: Help me stop watching or thinking about porn
« on: February 23, 2016, 01:52:22 AM »
wow man that's awesome! Congrats and keep going with that fantastic progress.

19
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 22, 2016, 07:11:55 AM »
Wow thanks to all of you guys for the fantastic support, I really appreciate it.

Day 20

I'm actually pretty syked about 3 weeks tomorrow. Today was a much better day. I was busy for most of it. The urges are still there I can sill feel a burning inside that's craving porn. I'm pretty determined to put a lot of this energy inside into some really productive study/schoolwork and drumming. I made a new friend today too. Although these pissy urges don't stop I'm starting to appreciate and look forward to lunch with my friends and just having a good time. That was something that go killed when I was in the shites of the addiction, no excitement or anticipation for what should be exciting and fun things.

Also though I'd just mention that I'm not interested in dating girls just yet. Not sure if I have said this yet or not but the issues, maturity level, my confidence and mental stability (with the reboot) and just time is all things I cant give to a relationship. Tbh I'm always looking for companionship but it may just be the addiction. We'll see how things are in a couple of weeks.

cya

20
Teens / Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« on: February 22, 2016, 06:59:52 AM »
truly inspiarational

21
Teens / Re: 19 male - PMO addict for a year and a half.
« on: February 22, 2016, 06:57:19 AM »
Yeah man I know that tale. Ive tried so hard to block myself from porn, and although it works, it should only be there for blocking triggers. That is, there's not point in it if you are trying to watch porn, because there's always a loophole, always another device, always another risk or opportunity.

In your case I would look at identifying and fighting urges with distraction rather than making the conscious decision to relapse, and then rely on the blocker to stop you. Come up with a plan to prevent and deal with urges so you wont even go looking for triggers.

22
Teens / Re: Help me stop watching or thinking about porn
« on: February 21, 2016, 03:30:41 PM »
Welcome to the forum. That's a pretty tragic story man. One of the things that reboot will help you do is it not only frees you of your dependence on porn, but pretty much changes your life. The way you think, act and you're overview of life. How long have you been porn free? Are you doing a 'hardcore' reboot?

The most important advice I can provide you with now is as to why you are rebooting. A lot of rebooters have someone else who the addiction effects (such as a romantic other) and feel an additional sense of guilt regarding porn use due to their impact on this significant other. All I have to say is this: no matter how important this girl is to you, the reboot is for you and you alone. She just happens to benefit from it. It's a decision you are making because you want to. What I did at the start of my reboot was write down all the reasons why I did and didn't want to reboot and work through them.

Get educated and fight this thing smart. It won't be an easy fight but its worth it man.
-Sam

23
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 21, 2016, 06:49:47 AM »
Day 19

Friggen toughest day today. So glad its over. Urges in every minute of it, extreme brain fog, mood swings, lack of motivation, procrastination and cravings for porn. More specifically, massive urges to peek on insta search which I know will lead to relapse. The urges while I'm typing this are particularly strong. I'm glad I don't have any other sexual pressures on me at the moment cuz I'm trying so hard fighting and its killing me. I hope it ends tomorrow, I'm stressed out, on edge and just in absolute hell. I suppose this time was gonna come and I need to get past it. I will not fail. A REMINDER FOR ME ON TUESDAY TO RE-EVALUATE REBOOT STRATEGIES! This sucks man I'm putting my devices outside my room before I go to sleep the temptation is too farking strong. Btw I had a chat with that girl again tonight. Good times.

Day 19 survived, c'mon reboot, bring this week on. I will win.

24
Teens / Re: Brand New Day
« on: February 21, 2016, 06:42:42 AM »
I'm sorry to hear that man but it's all part of the learning curve. I guess having the mindset of peeking and searching for triggers as relapse helps. It's tough though. I suggest you evaluate how you were feeling that lead to urges, what went through your head when you gave in to just peep, how you were able to access it and then how you had the opportunity to fully relapse. Pull apart and reflect on each of those things to help you understand how this happened and prevent it next time.

Best of luck and hope that chaser dies
-Sam

25
Teens / Re: 15 yr old with porn problem... Im back again
« on: February 20, 2016, 07:11:28 AM »
Day 18

This morning was really productive and I got most of my house chores done and planned my day. Saw the movie deadpool and loved it. The nudity and sex scenes in it gave me a bit of a bother, but not anything big or that I'm worried about. The second half of my day was spent with my family then a little procrastination about homework which resulted in me facetiming a girl friend for the rest of the evening. I had actually a really really great chat with her. It was good to have a laugh and catch up and just see her as a genuine real person. I cant say too much I'm tired and really struggling to think. I feel the urges have been getting marginally stronger for a couple of days now due to my procrastination and I guess its just a stage in the reboot. More mood swings. Anyways I don't wanna think about that I just wanna go to bed thinking about that chat I had with that beautiful girl.

Goodnight

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