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Messages - TheManWithaPlan

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Ages 20-29 / To the man in the mirror.
« on: January 10, 2016, 02:20:28 AM »
To the man in the mirror, my how you've grown. I remember when you were small and only cared about toys, mom, and playing. You grew up and learned the world isn't all it once seemed to be. It was sometimes mean, sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but it was always home. You learned about things you probably shouldn't have and started wanting it more and more. You longed to be near it. You needed it. But then you found a girl, a woman who light up your whole world. She was the most amazingly perfect thing in the world. She picked you, out of all people, to love and hold forever. She trusted in you and you were honest, for awhile. Then that thing you once needed demanded to be needed again. It told you that it wouldn't hurt to come back to it. It wouldn't hurt to lie just this once. So you listened, it wasn't the best thing you've ever done but it happened. But then lying became easier and easier. Soon you could lie through your teeth and no one ever knew. You became a stranger, man in the mirror. You became someone you are not. But you decided that the woman who loved you, who now cares your child, is worth far more than this filth that demands to make you obey it. Man in the mirror, I am here to help you, to fight with you, to win for you. It won't be easy and in a way it shouldn't be. But we will fight and we will when because we have an army behind us. Together we will over come and together we will once again fix our broken life. I know you are scared man in the mirror and so am I. So let's do this together. Fight and become the man you once were, become me, Man in the mirror. Become me again.

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Porn Addiction / My life as an addict
« on: January 09, 2016, 12:28:44 AM »
When I was in the fifth grade I looked at porn for the very first time. The guilt the hit me was terrible. I almost told my mom and dad but stopped literally seconds before because I was too afraid to get in trouble. Looking back now I really wish I would have come clean. Ever since then I've had porn in my life. During high school I actually enjoyed it everyday not realizing I was wasting my teen years away. Senior year I met my beautiful wife. She is everything in the world to me. She had her own demons that has been vanquished and didn't know about mine. When I told her she promised to be supportive and help me through it. I was an idiot. I tried for about 2 weeks to stop and then just told her I was doing good. Ever since then I've been lying to her. I really am a good guy and I love more than anything but I was never a lair. I've become someone I'm not and I want to change that. I'll be a father here in a little while and by the time the baby comes I want to be clean. So I'm going to post here everyday about my day and thoughts and struggles. I need y'alls help to finally defeat something that has controlled my life for far too long. (Day 2) So today my wife had terrible morning sickness. She barely ate anything. I felt so sorry for her. I mean she wants a child but man, this part really sucks for her. Anyway today was a great day. Beautiful weather and spent all day with her. Didn't think about porn once. I really think this place and you people are really gonna help me kick this in the can finally. I really appreciate the responses and the advise. I will tell her but I gotta wait till I've been clean for a few weeks. Honestly I'm terrified to tell her. I'm going to break her hurt and she doesn't need that right now. We have a lot going on and she naturally stresses plus we're moving and now we're having a baby. This is the last thing she needs. She'll probably be happy I told her but I still lied and that will destroy her. I wish I could go back in time and just tell the truth the first time. But this isn't the movies and I have lied on multiple occasions. To the wife on here, how did y'all react and how did y'all forgive. I'm so scared to tell her not because she's a bad person but because she's so amazing and I've used her so badly, something I promised I'd never do. If you are the praying kind, please pray for me. (Day 3) So first of all my toes are freezing. I hate being cold so much. Anyway, today was great. I cuddled with my beautiful wife for half the day and then she had to go back home. (I'm stuck on a military base for now.) After she left and I got back to my room I had an urge to look at porn but I was able to beat it back. I will not start this cycle again. I can't. I have too much to lose. I am eagerly awaiting the day we find out if we're having a boy or a girl. We looked at baby clothes today and it was crazy. I just want it to be healthy and normal. I want both of them to be ok. I'm hoping this week is my last week on this base. I want to leave so bad. I absolutely hate it here. Anyway I gotta get up really early and I still need to call her so I'll see if have a more interesting tomorrow. Goodnight. (Day 4) So our world relies a lot on physical attraction and uses that as a selling point for things. Because of this there is porn-like material literally everywhere. Like holy crap man come on. And it's never hidden it's like right in your face. I'm doing good today I felt the pull a little more but I'm determined to not go back to the way things were before. I'm really hoping to get out of this aweful place soon. This base does not help with this at all. It's lonely and depressing and stressful and all of those thing make saying no even harder. But I have a beautiful wife and soon to be baby relying on me to push through and come out on top. Actually my wife's mom and dad got divorced because he had a really bad porn addiction. So there is no way in hell im gonna do that to her. That would be just cruel. Anyway I gotta get up early tomorrow so I'll talk to y'all tomorrow. Goodnight.

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Ages 20-29 / Help me please.
« on: January 08, 2016, 11:23:30 PM »
I need someone I can just pour my heart out to. I've living with this lie for so long I feel like it's always been there. I'm not a bad guy and was never a liar but porn and the opinion of someone very close to me changed all that. I just want someone to talk to who won't judge me and won't try to fix my problem. Just listen. Also I'm gonna start a post here everyday called "My life as an addict." It may not be original but it'll be an outlet for me to escape to.

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So I relapsed and I feel like everytime I do I say that I'll never do it again. Well im done saying that. Instead im just gonna do it. There are plenty of guys who have beat this so why can't I right? It's a war that I intend to win. Please offer yalls advice and encourgement. I'm gonna need it. And if any of you guys pray, pray for me please. Thank you.

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Awesome. Thanks man.

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Today was a gorgeous day. I biked a bit. I haven't biked since I was a kid. I drove around with the top down and music up and felt really energized. I went shooting yesterday with a bunch of church guys and we had a blast! Literally! They bought some stuff that blows up when you shoot it and it was awesome. So not a bad day yesterday or today. Also I think this journal is.gonna help relieve a lot of stress. One more.thing, does anyone know approximately how many days into reboot withdrawal occurs. It just scares me.

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So i didnt post everyday like I said I was going to. So DAY 1: Once again my brain got the best of me. So I'm makingbsome rules for myself. RULE 1: Don't use your phone unless you absolutely have to. Don't even be near the thing. RULE 2: NEVER EVER LISTEN TO YOUR BRAIN!!! It will destroy you. RULE 3: Be more active. Run more bike more just have fun and live. RULE 4: Love others more than yourself and see how this has drawn you away from them.

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I feel like I keep going in circles and that im trapped. I will not be trapped by something that I dont even want anymore. Im need to stop listening to my brain. It doesn't want to stop. But I want to stop. I can't and won't live like this anymore. Im going to post every single day for the next 90 days. Im just gonna talk about stuff. It won't always be porn related. It will be about things I like and my hobbies and dreams for the future. So as the first day in the 90 day journal, I saw the trailer for Star Wars Battlefront today and nearly died of a heart attack lol.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: **Accountability Partner Requests**
« on: April 14, 2015, 12:36:56 AM »
I just really need someone to hold me accountable. Please message me if you want to help.

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So I was doing good for about 10 days then I listened to my brain rationalizing in my head. Sad to say I relapsed but I am not just gonna lay down and take it. I am going to fight this tooth and nail and I will be PMO free!!! God has my back and I will not give up the fight!

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Porn Addiction / Re: Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.
« on: March 27, 2015, 08:53:52 AM »
What you were saying about wanting the withdrawal and wanting the pain. I have always wanted to do military and I always got this feeling of excitement when reading about training and how hard some of it is. I was excited because I knew if I could take the pain I would be able to do something that I wanted. I got that same excitement just now reading your post. I feel more motivated now to see this reboot to the end. Thank you for that.

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My name is Taylor and I've been addicted to porn for about 7 years. I was way too young when I started and now I.feel trapped by something that shouldn't even be a part of my life. I started this Journal because im sick and tired of feeling this shame and guilt and being afraid of my phone. This addiction has also effected my sex life and it is not far to beautiful girl. It makes her think that the problem is her and not me and it breaks my heart that it is doing this to her. I need to kick this addiction for me and for her. I'm done living like this. My goal is to reach 100 days without porn and masturbating. If you have any advice or just an encouraging word I would really appreciate it.

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Ages 20-29 / Re: **Accountability Partner Requests**
« on: March 26, 2015, 08:49:14 AM »
Hi I just got started here. I'm a 19 year old guy who is feed up with being this way. I've tried to quit in the past and the furthest I ever got was 2 and a half weeks. I need some help getting over this.

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