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Messages - Diesel driver

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1
Oh boy! When I started watching porn I looked for soft stuff, bikini models and strip tease videos.

The first real porn videos mildly disgusted me but horniness and curiosity made me stick to it and eventually porn became great.

I think if I was told that sex is something to make people bond I would have had an easier time around girls (who liked me a lot but I avoided them). To understand that it is unnatural and awkward to look at strangers having sex or even having random sex with a stranger. It's an alluring fantasy but leads down a destructive path, be it P addiction or STDs.
But make sure he has a positive outlook on sex because sexual insecurity leads to isolation which (maybe) leads to P addiction. The dad might be a better figure to tell him these things.

2
Success Stories / Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« on: October 12, 2016, 04:29:30 PM »
Congratulations! I agree with you about your advice. Edging and fantasizing is really bad and rewiring speeds everything up, though beginners should focus on themselves for the first few months and go hardmode as good as they can.

All the best!

3
Success Stories / Re: Almost 2 years - feeling young again
« on: October 05, 2016, 03:34:03 PM »
Thanks guys!

congrats!!

It took 2 years to recover. very long period!

I want you to ask that during that period how many times you have relapsed?  because of relapse, you needed 2years?

and when did you assure yourself that I recover completely.

thanks your hopeful story

A lot, but not as much as more severe cases. To porn maybe every 4 months. Quitting porn wasn't that big of a deal to me personally. Worse for me was the frustration of flatlining, lonelyness etc.
Unfortunately I MO'd a lot and sometimes would relapse into edging sessions. I recommend hard mode so no MO at all. For some time I was convinced it would be impossible to recover from porn while still MOing. I'm not that sure, though  :-\
I believed in sexual exhaustion (that you could get ED from jerking off too much) but scientifically speaking this concept is bollocks.
Do what works. I CAN tell that hardmode does wonders for your sensitivity and makes morning erections more likely to happen.

I'm actually still making progress. I consider myself cured because I regained my confidence, can rely on a healthy erection, can do all positions (though I never tried more exotic ones), my penis is warm and gets sometimes erect from touch and fantasy alone, kinky fantasies don't come up as much and they don't make me anxious anymore. Spontaneous erections occur but only a couple of days after sex. Only sex. MO does not have this effect on me, strangely.
I can do what porn made me unable to do. There is still a mile to walk! Getting even more consistent morning erections. My libido fluctuates considerably, it will probably even out. I'm almost never in flatline territory though.
So I'm still rebooting but as far as I'm concerned I'm safe. I don't have a partner but I could get one and have a lot of sex. However I decided to go even further and keep rebooting, so you and me are still in the same boat  :)
Forgot to ask, any suggestions for distracting oneself from MO? Don't say "cold showers"  ;D

Cold showers  :P among many other things.
Get a hobby and focus on it. For example weight lifting. Learn the basics, become consistent and passionate, get a little nerdy. Meet and greet professional athletes and champions (or even train with them if they are available) to sniff some winning personality. Many porn guys have toxic families and friends. Find relief and get some inspiration and advice. Watching a motivational vid is not enough. Make it a part of your life.
Weight lifting/ bodybuilding is especially good for social anxious flatliners. You can practice alone and get some confidence and then work on your social skills.
But it can be bible studies, poetry, your job, a business, a new language, painting, biking... be able to laugh and explore things like a child. You will find your passion.

Oh and I meditated a lot. At first it improved my mood and made me progress faster, or so I thought. Honestly though, I don't think meditation is necessary or even that good. Actually not a big fan of it anymore.

4
Success Stories / Re: Almost 2 years - feeling young again
« on: August 11, 2016, 07:10:26 AM »
This is great.  I get frustrated and racked with doubt since I'm not recovered after all this time so it's reassuring to hear stories of long rebooters who have made it out the other side.  Congrats!

Oh yeah. Had many doubts as well. I was a heavy user and somedays couldn't even get it up to porn anymore. Now I have to be careful when I go take a pee to not get an erection from holding my penis with the tips of my fingers. It is that easy now.

5
Success Stories / Almost 2 years - feeling young again
« on: August 08, 2016, 09:37:59 AM »
Hehe... the day has come. Here is my success story   :)

I am a 23 year old male. Typical story. Found out how to masturbate in my teens - liked it - finally looked at porn on the internet - life got difficult - tried to escape by watching more porn - eventually found out the hard way that porn can destroy your sexual health and induce fetishes.

Yeah, I was pretty shocked when I had sex for the first time. It was kind of meh and I lost my erections a few times. This was not how I imagined it to be. And I thought as a young, healthy and more or less socially comfortable man ED would be the last problem I would need to deal with.
Luckily only one google search had the answer for my unexpected problem: it was my porn consumption. More importantly, I also found out how to cure it. It was almost 2 years ago. It took that long for me to be cured.

I had not too much trouble quitting porn, masturbation was a different story. And it really set me back. But finally I have done it.

I gained so much experience. There is a lot I could say but in the end the quantity of succesful rebooters motivates newbs the most.
So here is another success that can confirm that PIED is real and can be overcome.
I had no morning wood, no physical reactions to potential mates, weird out of character fetishes and preferences.
Now I wake up with boners, feel a rush and a warm feeling in my groin whenever I see an attractive woman, can get erections, have a normal sexuality. As a bonus my nerves are strong as iron, I relax around women and during sex I can last a long time.
Very pleasing to feel your penis becoming hard in your pants by himself when the guy is needed. No figting to keep it up. Just enjoying the moment plus the pride of having overcome PIED.

Every rebooter has different issues, on forums like this you can find guys with similiar stories (yes, no matter how strange/ extreme your situation is you will find someone like you, trust me  ;)) and they will give you an idea of what to expect. Be social. Share your story and read journals.
Counting days is a fun and playful way to keep up your motivation.
Learn everything there is to learn, you find all the sources here, reflect on the reason you watch porn (quick rewards? Escapism? Self harm? Substitute for unmet romantic expactations? Fear or shame of real sex?) and understand the mind of an addict.

So... I'm done. Will I masturbate occasionally again? Why would I? I will not engage in a behavior that has caused so much pain and suffering. I am finally free and can do what I really want without some urges hitting me. Oh, and not to mention women have finally the comfort to enjoy sex with me that fulfills pretty much all wishes.

God bless you all, stay strong, farewell   :D

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: Level 2 - rebooting and making life worthwhile
« on: July 13, 2016, 03:17:28 AM »
Guess who's back?  :D

Wow I made my last post in march. To me it seemed I didn't drop by for a year or so.
It was for the better. Visiting this website again actually reminds me of dark times (and who the hell is this guy in my profile pic??) My life improved much. Yeah I'm still struggling with this and that but I see the light.

I have overcome my porn addiction. I don't even think about watching. I don't even think about not watching. I still have the habit of looking away whenever something sexual is shown in a video or in a TV show. Although right now there is nothing that can trigger me anymore.
Quitting masturbation and fantasizing still requires effort but I'm doing it. I actually deleted my counter. No need to keep counting anymore.

So the real reason I write again is because yesterday I orgasmed inside a woman for the very first time in my life (with condom btw). It is a truly interesting experience for someone who has never done it. And a major milestone for me.
Before I have either required masturbation or oral sex. Sometimes I just would skip orgasming. Confuses some girls and some actually take offense. As if they think that I feel they don't deserve to make me orgasm. But sometimes not orgasming is the better choice for myself because orgasms are a heavy dopamine release and can still cause flatline symptoms for me.

I can have sex. I can get an erection from real women. However...
I can only do sex positions that are easy for me.
While real sex jumpstarts my libido for a few days, I still get hangovers and flatline symptoms.
Too few morning erections (once or twice a week)
I don't try often but I believe I cannot get an erection from touch alone.
I'm still trying to find the balance between viewing women as sex objects or asexual beings.
During sex, especially during foreplay, I get back into voyeur mode and get very passive (this could also be inexperience and not PMO damage)
After orgasming the session is over, nothing can make me hard again.
Though much more confident, I'm still too insecure about my sex drive to start a long term realtionship.

"So, Diesel, what is the next step?"
Abstaining more. From real women, too. I have been doing some good rewiring, lost a great deal of anxiety and nervousness in bed, improved my health, said good bye to porn forever.
But orgasms and even sex is too heavy for me. It's like hitting my head with a frying pan. Leaves me numb, dizzy and weak.

To be honest, I worked hard to be where I am now. But for some people this is actually the point where they get into nofap/ no PMO. "Oh no, I think something is wrong with me. I can only get and stay hard from doggy style. And when I see women I have to imagine them doing doggy style with me. Is this normal? Help"
The typical newbie intro. After one and a half year of rebooting I am finally on the level of the average noob. But I'm proud.

And with these orgasms.. even though they are from real life women.. my reboot will take too long.
I will give myself a well deserved rest. I'm in for doing 90 days again. Then I might try sex again. Not good enough after that? Another 90 days  :)

Not sure if I start journaling again. It could make sense but the real magic happens for me when I just focus on a hobby or science. You all know the elephant. Don't think about him. Ha, you thought about him!

When I'm done and all points I listed above are no longer true you are definately going to hear about it. Then I will finally make my last entry here on this board which is going to be in the success stories section.

Cheers!

7
The board rules prohibit users from advocating prostitution. I can only say prostitutes are real women, too of course.

However it sounds more like you are getting greedy for some action. You should use your time apart from your girlfriend to reboot some more without any stimulation. Your inconsistent arousal response to strippers could indicate PIED. You getting hard from pictures says nothing about your progress, pictures are pixels and you want to be ready for real sex.

8
Same here. Quitting porn wasn't that hard for me but masturbation alone is still a tough one.

Had these morning fap ritual as well and was the hardest thing to get rid of. Got some good advice from a fellow member I want to share for the mornings.
You can pick clothes for the next day and lay them somewhere close to your bed so you can get dressed quickly. Or you could place an object like a book or a computer or workout gear somewhere near your bed. This will help you by drawing something you like to your attention versus urges or sorrows. Makes getting up a bit sweeter.

Also it would be good to face your triggers and learn to overcome them fast. Fappers are the junkies with the endless syringe in their pants. Only our dedication can save us from the next hit.

9
Porn Addiction / Re: It's Impossible..
« on: March 21, 2016, 07:33:02 PM »
You have to do whatever it takes. If you think you would be better of without smart phone then get rid of it.
Wish people were more supportive about porn addiction as well. The nannies tell you what they think will help people but you have to figure your life out yourself.

10
Hi QuitQuitting,

you seem to be on the right track. When it comes to a rebooting plan you can dare to think simple. Avoiding porn is a description fit enough for the plan you will stick to for the next months. No over complication needed.

It's a game of endurance and patience. The only thing you have to do actively is reflect on every relapse if any happen. It's best to identify triggers fast and learn to deal with them. Some triggers cannot be avoided and you will need to face them.

Also every rebooter has different issues and circumstances. Try to be friends with guys who have a lot in common with you.

Cheers!

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: Walking Them No-PMO Shoes
« on: March 21, 2016, 06:53:49 PM »
I enjoy reading your journal. You have an awesome vibe and impressive writing skills.

Glad to support whenever I can however you are on top of your game right now. Still there for you though.

Cheers!

12
Both should be possible for a healthy man.

What comes first? It's easy to answer. Getting aroused by girls. Why? Because rebooters do not touch themselves at all  ;)

Take it with a grain of salt. If you are under the shower and you wash your genitals without sexual thoughts and the penis erects a little bit that is already a good sign. But do not test your erections all the time. I don't know any succesful rebooter who tested frequently.

13
Hi gama,

actually your story is not too different from many stories in this community.

If you start your reboot you will enter a flatline. Completely normal.

Please don't be that guy who thinks porn and masturbation are positive for your sex health. These things prolong flatline symptoms - however flatline really is the very first stage of your reboot. It cannot/ should not be avoided.

Good luck.

14
Next to porn I didn't have many bad habits except a beer here and there. But I want to mention that all addictions have an impact on the part of your brain you need for making decisions, click here for a more scientific explanation.

So maybe it is necessary for some people to quit smoking and drinking because these things make your decisions dumber which translates into more relapses. By the way I don't drink beer anymore  ;)

15
Porn Addiction / Re: suicidal thoughts.
« on: March 05, 2016, 02:39:04 PM »
Just pick yourself up and try harder.

It will help to identify the reason you relapsed. Were there external triggers like sexy pics? Internal triggers like a need for stimulus?
Never run away from your problems even if it hurts. Face them instead and try to comprehend what exactly you were thinking and feeling before, during and after relapse. Then prepare yourself mentally for the next urge that will come.

16
Ages 20-29 / Re: Walking Them No-PMO Shoes
« on: March 05, 2016, 02:34:01 PM »
Wow, sounds really positive! Keep it going!

17
Ages 20-29 / Re: Level 2 - rebooting and making life worthwhile
« on: March 05, 2016, 02:26:40 PM »
Hey Leir,

thanks for replying. I sure do enjoy my alone time. Right now all of my hobbies are not social because this way I get the most joy out of it. A social hobby however is always an option/ some of my hobbies can be practiced with partners.

See the problem is where I live people don't date much in general. We don't have a trendy dating app like the US Americans have, like tinder for example. There are of course dating apps but they don't have much traffic.

Also approaching women in real life is a touchy subject. Here everything is about reputation. Even one rejection can seriously limit your prospects on a great social life. Being known for being bad with women is one of the worst things that can happen.

The girls I dated btw all sent strong signals of interest to me so it would almost be inappropriate not to make a move.
I have alright conversation skills and look good however not very in touch with the latest fashion. I have a car. Extremely helpful for attraction but I'm most of the time too humble or too emberassed to mention.

This is how I roll. If everything fails I could still go to a dancing class where men and women are more or less forced to flirt. I would however prefer not to simply because I think dancing is boring. I appreciate your support very much.

Cheers!

18
Ages 20-29 / Re: Level 2 - rebooting and making life worthwhile
« on: March 01, 2016, 02:59:51 PM »
It's going good.

Not much to tell anymore. I feel confident enough to look for girls now. To "rewire".

I'm not living in a sex and relationship friendly culture. Also my lifestyle is not very social (my choice). It will be kinda tough to find someone. But I did it before.

I fear I will not update my journal anymore unless I have a sexual experience to talk about. This is all that is missing now and maybe I should have managed to do this much earlier.

Anyway. Cheers.

19
Ages 20-29 / Re: Walking Them No-PMO Shoes
« on: March 01, 2016, 02:24:37 PM »
Generally speaking your life sounds kinda cool, much more social than mine.

Taking small steps are a sure way to reach any goal. Knowing what's up is the first step. I believe in you.

20
Ages 20-29 / Re: Level 2 - rebooting and making life worthwhile
« on: February 27, 2016, 06:16:29 PM »
I'm not done yet with all of my exams. There are still a few to take next month.

Although I actually should not "waste" my time with anything else than studies my private life is now going better than ever.
I improved my relationship with my family, found a few cool new hobbies and also some good people to motivate me. I'm growing close to a girl. None of those things were forced. Those changes happened on their own.

Also it has been quite a long time since my last beer. Not that I pushed myself not to drink anymore. I just "forgot" about beer.

Same with masturbation. I didn't log in here for the last few days because I wanted to ride that wave of indifference to PMO. To me forgetting about nofap completely vs pushing yourself into it is the holy grail of nofap.
Right now I can honestly say that my life is pretty cool. Luck is on my side and everything becomes clearer.

Cheers!

21
Ages 20-29 / Re: Freedom Is My Future
« on: February 27, 2016, 06:03:17 PM »
I fell after 5 days.
I will keep on making new habits in my life to replace porn.

It is a good idea to improve habits and find new hobbies. It might take some time to find something you are really into but it will happen on its own once you gain some positive momentum.

Cheers!

22
Ages 20-29 / Re: 21yo - My year of extreme loneliness
« on: February 27, 2016, 06:00:27 PM »
OneYear,

why do you keep making new accounts? I hope you do not do this out of shame because shame is a powerful trigger for relapse. Also it's always a bummer because every support you get from other users is swept under the rug every time you change accounts/ topics so frequently. Giving advice and support is a serious time investment and other users should have the chance to read it, too.

Anyway, stay strong and have a good time.

23
Ages 20-29 / Re: Walking Them No-PMO Shoes
« on: February 27, 2016, 05:22:49 PM »
In the long run I recommend you stay away from any drama. Meaning confusing acting affairs and ex girlfriends. No need to repel them but be indifferent towards them.

Emotionally you were "all in" as a poker player would say and when you lost your girlfriend you were traumatized. I was never the type of guy to cling on people but once a very good friendship of mine ended really badly and it took almost three years for me to get over this.

If you recovered more from porn you should consider a bigger lifestyle change. Maybe you have to move somewhere else if you need to get away from your ex girlfriend. I can kind of understand your pain and you cannot live like this forever.

For now stay strong. No worries about looking at women. Your mind will be clearer soon.

Cheers!

24
Ages 20-29 / Re: Level 2 - rebooting and making life worthwhile
« on: February 19, 2016, 03:35:31 PM »
Thanks Leir, I read the article a couple of times. These basics are very important and sometimes I get too fixated on my counter. I would do better if I just ignored it.

Being better organized (having my clothes ready in the bathroom) seems to be a step into the right direction. I have to think about the trick with the alarm clock near pleasurable things. Maybe next to my computer?

Anyway, glad to have you back!
Cheers!

25
Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Re: Rewire App
« on: February 19, 2016, 03:20:41 PM »
Hands off!

2$ a week is usury. Didn't take the self help people long to try to exploit porn addicts.

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