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Messages - Shin66

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Porn Addiction / I need a conclusion for today
« on: March 15, 2015, 04:05:56 PM »
WARNING IM GONNA TALK ABOUT A POTENTIAL TRIGGER BELOW (dunno if the warnings right this way, but I hope so)

Hi I'm 19 years old and today was the 4th day in my reboot. So far so good, but heres the problem: I masturbated today, I mean my goal is just to stop watching porn while masturbating and not to stop masturbation at all, but the problem is just that my motivation to masturbate was not just lust (you know I already masturbated daily before i started watching porn), but also to watch porn. At first I was like "No, I am not going to watch Porn at all" but then I thought "Hmm I could just masturbate without porn for a while, but when I want to finish I'm gonna watch it, but on the other hand I really shouldnt do it at all", still I started masturbating. During the process I tried not to think about the porn I'll be watching and tried to focus on the way my dick feels (my erection was suprisingly stable, and hard, ofcourse still not in the same way it was in the times before I started watching porn), even though every now and then I thought about what I'm gonna watch for a second. Luckily close before I came to the end I was like "No if I came this far without porn I'll also be able to end it without porn (just to make things clear I do not have a DE problem, instead I have a slight ED and a PE problem, both appeared after I started using porn for a while, a while in this case means after 2 years of porn use) ( I also did not edge myself while I masturbated, I used the start-stop technique and always waited about a minute to calm down before I started again; this never worked out well when I watched porn, but this time it did)" with this thought in mind i worked my way towards orgasm and instead of watching porn i imagined how it would be to have sex with a girl I know from reallife.

Im very sorry if the story is hard to read or if this is the wrong place to post my thread, but anyway here is my question: How much did I mess things up? Remember: 1. The goal of my reboot is to regain the sexual energy I had before I watched porn  and to be able to masturbate without porn again. 2. One of my motivations to masturbate was to watch porn in the end, still I did not do it. I'm just asking this because I am too confused to draw a conclusion by myself.
Please help me and if you do thank you for your time!

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