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Messages - Gabe Deem

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1
Congrats Rebooter26!  8) I'm so happy to hear about your recovery and your new relationship! That is so amazing.

If you get the time, and would like to encourage others, it would be super helpful if you write out a summary of your story and success in the success story section. I often talk about the importance of seeing the reboot process as two phases: 1) rebooting, giving the reward circuit rest in order to regain sensitivity. 2) rewiring your arousal template back to a real partner. Sounds like this worked well for you.

Hope the best for you moving forward. Keep truckin' and much love.


2
Ages 30-39 / Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« on: October 09, 2020, 06:57:24 AM »
Quote
Yesterday on YT when the next video plays. I've been more listening than watching a music video. Then the next video loads it is a mainstream like 100M+ views music video. Some girls in like latex clothing. I just paused for half a second, said no thank you and closed the player. I am very proud. I didn't flinch. I also didn't get a melt down. There are triggers everywhere, but I've traveled this road, I know where it leads. I don't want to get sucked in some virtual reality/ai brain space. No thank you. Also this P stuff is Yuck!

If I never again use any P. I am totally OK with this. The same goes with PMO. 17.9. My last PMO. This is awesome.

YES!! Big win EW  8) Awesome. This is the winning mindset. Keep truckin'... I hope you have a great day!

3
Porn Addiction / Re: Do you think most guys masturbate?
« on: October 07, 2020, 07:20:46 AM »
A majority of my real life friends had a porn addiction, porn-induced sexual dysfunction, or disturbing (to them) morphing porn tastes (escalation.)

Most of them had no clue until I told them about my porn-induced sexual dysfunction and the science behind it. This is a much bigger problem than we think.

4
Ages 40 and up / Re: I need out, I'm unfit!
« on: October 02, 2020, 11:00:58 AM »
Rolandc, So glad to have you on the forum! I hope you find this community encouraging and supportive. You're not alone.

Quote
Not only have I ruined my professional career


Let your past refine you, don't let it define you. Many individuals have gotten out of prison and went on to establish successful careers, and turn their negatives into positives. There's always that option. To ruin something, in my opinion, has a "permanent" connotation to it. I'd say you "damaged" your career, but it can be repaired.

Quote
But then once you have lost everyone and everything, how do you come out of the loop?

One step at a time. Visualize an ideal to pursue. Make a goal. Break it down into small, practical steps. Then focus all your energy on the steps to achieve the goal. This is how all things are achieved. One step at a time. You got this.

Congrats on starting this journal and hanging in there. Every time you fight off urgers you strengthen the neural pathways that say "nope, not today, I'm going to do something healthy instead." You're off to a great start! Hope the best for you. Much love.


5
Porn Addiction / The Biggest Mistake Addicts Make (NEW VIDEO)
« on: September 25, 2020, 01:50:19 PM »
What’s up y’all! Just posted a new vid to hopefully motivate you to keep pushing forward even if it’s painful and uncomfortable. You’ll get through it. Focus on what you want, and let your past push you forward rather than pull you back.

https://youtu.be/11OCsLmoZj8

Much love.

6
Porn Addiction / Re: SITE MAINTENANCE TONIGHT! Possible Downtime.
« on: September 24, 2020, 09:40:52 PM »
2.0.10 test.

7
Porn Addiction / Re: SITE MAINTENANCE TONIGHT! Possible Downtime.
« on: September 24, 2020, 09:37:08 PM »
Update 2.0.9 test.

8
Porn Addiction / SITE MAINTENANCE TONIGHT! Possible Downtime.
« on: September 24, 2020, 09:07:05 PM »
We are going to be doing some forum software updates tonight. The site might experience some downtime over the next couple of hours. Follow @Reboot_Nation on Twitter for updates if the site goes down.

9
One of the most common mistakes rebooters make in my opinion is they focus too much on NOT WATCHING PORN and just sitting around waiting to turn into superman/superwomen, even if they have little to no real life sexual experiences. I think many rebooters, especially those who grew up with internet porn, may need to "rewire" their arousal template in their brain to a real life partner. I made a video discussing this with some advice that has helped me, and I believe can help anyone going through recovery with a partner.

https://youtu.be/D1nZmYBa5-s

Hope y'all find it helpful. Much love

10
Porn Addiction / Hope everyone has a great weekend
« on: September 05, 2020, 09:17:44 AM »
Just wanted to encourage everyone this weekend!

"success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal." - Earl Nightingale

Focus on what you want, not on what you don't want. Fill your schedule up with healthy activities or projects (one of those could be posting here and encouraging others).

Y'all got this. One day at a time. Keep truckin'. Much love




11
Ages 40 and up / Re: My wife is worth it
« on: September 02, 2020, 11:22:40 AM »
Leonidas is correct. This is a bot. Notice the little link line at the end of his text. Bots are getting better at sounding human. Look out for any suspicious links and if you find something you believe to be spam please report. Thanks.

I'm locking this thread and leaving it up as an example of spam to be on the lookout for.

12
If any of y'all are wondering why the potential negative effects of porn are not common knowledge yet... watch my latest video:

https://youtu.be/NdbUH_4Bb7c

13
Hey, Oena! Welcome to the Nation. Of course it would be ok to share some details. And congrats on 3 months!

Much love and keep truckin'

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: 29M, no P since July 20, no M since August 25
« on: August 02, 2020, 08:44:24 AM »
My advice would be to not "overthink" dreams, as sometimes they are a completely random mixture of stuff you've had on your mind. Just keep trucking one day at a time.

If you haven't seen it yet, I made a video about porn dreams/wet dreams a while back you may find helpful: https://youtu.be/092UH6e0BWA

15
Porn Addiction / Re: Wetdreams
« on: August 02, 2020, 08:38:04 AM »
Hey Seeemo,

Wet dreams are completely normal to have. I made a video covering wet dreams/porn dreams that you may find helpful: https://youtu.be/092UH6e0BWA

I wouldn't worry about it. They are natural and a good sign the pipes are working ; ) Congrats on 48 days! That's awesome. Keep truckin' and I hope the best for you.

16
Ages 20-29 / Re: Support for a rebooter who need it (journal)
« on: August 01, 2020, 09:29:17 AM »
Hey Anti-porn FR,

I second what AStansfield just suggested. We all need a little "heaven" to run towards, and a litle "hell" to run a away from.

I also just posted this video to give motivation to those wanting/trying to quit porn. I hope you find it helpful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34mV6vkKBs

17
What's up Nation!

I made a short video (3 mins) to let rebooters know 1) you're not alone, 2) there's always hope as the brain can always change, and 3) porn can never provide what a real person can... love.

https://youtu.be/Q34mV6vkKBs

I hope y'all find it helpful. Much love.

18
Hey @Dragont92,


Glad you found this community. I'd start with watching this video to get the basics of what we suggest:

https://youtu.be/z4yx4ouxGbQ

The main thing you'll need to do to recover is avoid porn, or all artificial sexual stimulation. That means anything you consider sexual on a screen. Avoid it.

One thing that helped me the most during recovery is getting educated on the science behind the problem. I suggest starting with this page: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/miscellaneous-resources/start-here-evolution-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/

Let me know if you have any questions. I hope you find this place helpful and supportive. Much love and keep truckin' one day at a time.



19
Hey Nation,

Just posted a video on the Flatline on Reboot Nation's YouTube Channel.

I've thought about making this video for years, but since the science on the "flatline" (a period of time during recovery where libido drops) isn't clear, I've been hesitant to cover it. I tried to pack as much science in it as I could. Hope y'all find it helpful!

https://youtu.be/rXfZwNqVDVA

Much love. Keep truckin'

20
Porn Addiction / Re: On becomming a Patreon of Gabe Deem
« on: May 20, 2020, 09:09:40 AM »
Hey Psyc Ops,

Really appreciate this post my man. I've been working on a video on the "Fatline" and I have many more videos coming. Each and every supporter will help me dedicate more of my time into making quality, helpful content.

Now, I wanted to clarify my stance on AA, because you said
Quote
Gabe is a fan of the AA model.


To be clear, I know the 12 step model has helped many people recover from addictions, but I'm NOT a fan of the "powerless" concept. I've thought about that a lot, and one could argue that even learning the neuroscience and reading others journals is "being helped by others," because.. it is. However, we weren't "powerless" to do a google search, make an account and start rewiring and rebalancing our brain. I feel the knowledge of the neuroscience "empowers" us to make the necessary changes to recover, once we know what we need to do and what we need to avoid. 

Put simply, I think many of the steps are helpful, but I'm not a fan of it completely.

Thanks again for the support. And thanks for being a guiding light on the forum. Much love, and keep truckin.



Much of the steps I believe are absolutely great and helpful for recovery, but I'm not sure I'd say they are essential.

21
Porn Addiction / BACK ONLINE. Server Issue Fixed.
« on: May 15, 2020, 06:17:27 PM »
Hey Nation,

Server had issues this morning that are now fixed. I apologize for any inconvenience. I hope everyone is having a great porn free day. Remember:

“The secrete of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

Much love.

22
Porn Addiction / The Last Thing Isolated People Need
« on: April 03, 2020, 02:36:24 PM »

23
Porn Addiction / Is Calling It Porn Addiction DANGEROUS? (NEW VIDEO)
« on: April 03, 2020, 11:54:19 AM »
One thing that frustrated me when I was going through recovery from porn addiction and porn-induced erectile dysfunction, was the amount of articles I came across that were full of bullshit. Essentially denying porn can cause problems, like addiction and dysfunction.

Unfortunately, there is still a growing push to smear all the recovery communities like this one, deny our problems are legitimate and ignore the science that is so helpful in understanding what we’re going through.

Worst part, is they want to teach teens porn addiction doesn’t exist.

I made a video responding to a recent article arguing that we should stop saying porn addiction is real. The arguments made are the same arguments I saw when I was recovering with a limp dick from porn use.

If the truth doesn’t get out to the world, how many more will get hooked and/or screwed up?

I hope some of y’all find it helpful and useful when you come across people trying to dismiss porn’s negative effects.

https://youtu.be/IEytratydII

Much love, Gabe

24
Porn Addiction / Re: Help Support Reboot Nation
« on: March 26, 2020, 09:26:18 AM »
Thanks Psyc Ops,

I really appreciate it. Every little bit helps so much. I'll be spending more time working on videos and writing.  8)

Recording a video today. And much, much more to come. I'll be making a Q&A video this weekend and all Patrons can ask any question they want that I'll answer in the video. You can post it on the Patreon post or send it to me privately on Patreon in a message.

Hope everyone has a great porn-free day. Limit time online. Create a list of things to do. Stay active, avoid idle time.

Much love.


25
Porn Addiction / Why You Shouldn't Watch Porn During Quarantine
« on: March 25, 2020, 10:54:00 AM »
Hey Nation.

Yesterday I was interviewed on a radio show in Ireland on the potential negative effects of porn, and why watching it while quarantined (or anytime) is not a good idea.

here's the link if interested. It's 16 mins: https://play.acast.com/s/room104/c00f1add-6cc3-44e6-a897-3f364d2a2032

Hope everyone is staying safe in these crazy times

Much love

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