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Messages - quitforeverthenwin2

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1
Sounds good man, less internet = better.

I think you are definitely on the money, in terms of masturbating. I found when I did it the same thing weakening erection over time. For me it is a no-no and in your case the break sounds good at least.

Yeah, it is tough times right now! But awesome you have remained abstinent and glad yo hear your medication is helping you.

2
Ages 20-29 / Re: Frustrated like crazy
« on: October 15, 2020, 07:19:12 AM »
Hey great job man. It is also good that you posted about your feelings. You are on the RIGHT PATH. This is really uncomfortable now but in the future it will pay off. It's hard but man is it badass that you are willing to push through this to get the life you want

3
Ages 20-29 / Re: 26 years old; 740 days of abstinence
« on: September 12, 2020, 04:59:15 PM »
Yeah man. I think a big part of this is delayed gratification....

It is hard to give up MO because you are not certain you can get a real partner, but to get that partner you probably have to give up MO.

Try and think longer term. We can repeatedly try and get a partner this month or this week and be really discouraged when it doesn't work....

I was in that spot for a few years.... Just very sporadic spats with girls here and there. I think I had crappy sex a few years ago, then a few things here and there, but full years in between more or less...

Anyways. What is necessary is to think longer term. Feeling like we can never get a girl, then trying to get a girl now and it not working leads to misery. The long term view is more like "Okay if I keep doing the right things in 6 months to a year I will have a girl.

It seems like a long term but imagine if you'd done that 740 days ago? So think to a year from now, you could have a girlfriend, great erections and a good sex life and this moment won't seem too long ago.

Plus you are hooking up with girls. You had a girlfriend a year ago, sexual expeience 3 months ago, made out with some girls. That is more then the average guy....

I think keeping the girls is prob the important part, cutting out masturbation will help so your dick works. Also try adding in some things you enjoy to your life so you don't feel as desperate. For me I was really focused on work and meeting girls for awhile and I started feeling awful, then I realized I wasn't doing anything "just for fun" to nourish myself and I have now started reading novels again and hung out with a friend it really helped.

Finally if it really is hard for you to meet women, it is a skill that you can improve upon. It's not all about intention

4
Ages 20-29 / Re: 26 years old; 740 days of abstinence
« on: September 11, 2020, 03:40:21 PM »
Oh, I didn't realize you'd been masturbating. I thought you meant 700+ days porn and masturbation free.

Those are two really different things. I'd cut the masturbation as well at least for a long time. If you are masturbating every few weeks and intermittently rewiring there is no reason to think you would recover imo.

The rewiring is crucial for sure. But masturbating with fantasy (especially if it is porn influenced) for sure could mess with erections (it does with me at least).

I was having issues fantasizing about porn and even that messes with my erections.... Like even when rewired/rewiring fantasizing about porn without touching my penis sets my erections back a good amount.

So there is a lot you could be doing
#1 Stop masturbating
#2 Work on getting the rewire partner
#3 Cut out fantasizing/ at least porn inspired fantasy.

So this is kind of bitter sweet good news in a way imo....
Bittersweet in that you are not as abstinent as you thought (still good job on cutting out porn, looks like you've done that permanently, just stay that way)
But you've never done a full 90+ days maturbation free or a full hard mode type rewire. But the sweet part is:
You are nowhere near as hopeless or have any reason to be as you thought in your first post. You aren't continuing to have erection problems because you have some innate problem you are having them because there are stones left unturned you gotta handle to fix it.

It's better to be honest with ourselves. I had sex this morning and my erection was so-so but instead of saying "omg it's not fair I have done everything" it is better to be honest..... I fantasized about porn two days ago, it takes like 5 days for my erections to recover from that. So there is more I can do to have better erections.

5
Ages 20-29 / Re: 26 years old; 740 days of abstinence
« on: September 08, 2020, 01:30:39 AM »
Sorry to hear you are struggling. Wow way to go on 700 days plus.

The solution is simple though: Rewiring. I found it made little difference if I was two weeks porn free or many months. The first time with a girl my erection was awful and it just gets better and better each time I cuddle kiss etc without cumming.

Simple as that. So what you need is a rewire partner. If you cuddle/kiss a girl several times a week your erections will get better and better then you can escalate into sex without cumming.

This is the part some of us miss rewiring is CRUCIAL, the erections simply don't just come back by abstaining, rewiring is necessary.

My source is rewiring several times.

This last time I had months clean, got almost no erection first time cuddle girl, then a bit more the second time by the 5th or 6th time really good erections. The time frame varies but rewiring is key and it takes repetition.

Maybe finding a religous/ in experienced girl who'd want to do such a thing, lots of kissing/ cuddling without sex for a time.

Tinder/apps for me is too triggering but if it weren't I'd put a profile and playfully put "looking for a cuddle buddy", I have seen girls put that it may take going through a lot of girls but I think it could work, with a good profile to get an actual cuddle buddy.

Best of luck man. You're on the right track, one way or another you will rewire

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: June 21, 2020, 04:24:46 PM »
Thanks Kopp!

Hey everyone, I don't want to just disappear with no explanation....
I've been posting here a lot less.

Anyways. I likely won't post here much in the future, perhaps for awhile. This forum was great for me! And really helped me reach some new levels. I reached a new point. But at this point SMART recovery I have been finding very helpful. It's a systematized approach that works well to me. So I am immersing myself in that.

I have not full on PMO'd since 2015! Though I had lots of bad lapses like looking at porn then moing after (at separate times) but I still count that as a pretty big win ( I have not MO'd while looking at porn, both at the same time since 2015). Looking forward to future success.

I strongly reccomend smart recovery and learning the system/ their book and tool time meetings so here is a link for those interested https://www.smartrecovery.org/community/

Take care everyone and all the best

7
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: June 02, 2020, 10:38:14 PM »
Hey all Day 2 again.

I moed for two days, once per  day. With non fetish/porn fantasys. Honestly still feeling great and did not notice negative effects. MO I will eventually reintroduce but I will have this month as a break from it.

Had a very good day. Did a lot of journaling to keep myself calm and focused on things I can control, kept working and doing things throughout the day and now I feel grateful and energized as well as accomplished.

8
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: May 30, 2020, 08:28:44 PM »
Day 3. Trucking along. Had an urge earlier, but glad to say that I distracted myself and went for a walk and it has since passed.

Not super productive. I'd like to remind myself when I had a nice period of time  and m free, I had a lot more energy and focus, so that is one more thing to motivate me to keep this up! A big motivator.... As I'd like to make progress on some things that are very important to me.

I did a really nice stretching routine yestarday my body felt so much better. i may not do everything I planned today, but I'll do that. It's better to do it and be focused during it, but more important is to just do it! So I may watch tv while I stretch, at the least keep working to heal my body/keep it healthy.

9
Success Stories / Re: Thank you
« on: May 29, 2020, 09:13:09 PM »
Congrats man, thanks for the tips!

10
Teens / Re: week 19
« on: May 29, 2020, 09:07:59 PM »
Man keep up the good work! All sorts of things pop up during the reboot. But at the end of the day, you are on the right path and and if you keep this up, all this stuff will pass and you will eventually have successful sex.

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: Not gonna go it alone
« on: May 29, 2020, 08:22:10 PM »
Hey man, hope you are doing alright! Quarantine can be tough

12
I feel you, over doing the youtube can be a issue. I think keeping it in that 2 hour chunk is a great plan

13
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: May 29, 2020, 08:02:38 PM »
You are champion!! Massive congrats on beating that record bro, that's a huge win, keep up the good work!

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: May 29, 2020, 08:01:28 PM »
Day 2

Thanks man! I really appreciate that, it reminds me of the good that happened yestarday. Funny I have pined away for girls so much then I have a great date and it doesn't seem like a big deal lol. Truthfully I don't see this girl being a girlfriend, but you never know what happens! It was  a nice time and I look forward to hanging out with her again.

Today was pretty nice, I have been worn out so just stretched as far as exercise. Met with a friend and we went back and forth saying what we're grateful for. I feel like my momentum is re building. Each day improving a bit

15
Ages 20-29 / Re: Kraken's journal
« on: May 29, 2020, 07:59:28 PM »
Keep it up man! At is very difficult but at the end of the day you will eventually get it. It's just about trying again and again, trying different things until you get it.

What is the smallest change you could make? What is one time waster you think you could try cutting out for a week?
Maybe starting small and building up is the way to go. Perhaps cut out one specific game or something.

You'll get it!

16
Ages 20-29 / Re: Joyful journal
« on: May 28, 2020, 08:17:51 PM »
Cold showers are great and so are good workouts! Keep up the good work

17
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: May 28, 2020, 07:47:14 PM »
Thanks so much for the support man! Really appreciate it.

MO'd a few times with P type fantasy a few times this week. So, want to tighten things up.

Anyways, been putting it off and not on the forum much but think it could be cool to get more into it for a time. Thinking to set a 30 day goal/ day count going.

Going to make today day 1.
Day 1

Had a decent day. I was very tired but I took a nap and then went to the park, I ended up meeting a sweet girl and we went for a walk together for about an hour and a half. I am happy that I took things slow, ended on  a high note and we exchanged numbers and will likely hang out again next week

18
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: May 21, 2020, 07:19:02 PM »
Hey everybody, last few days been going pretty good. Yesterday was great actually, I think I made some new friends.

Going to tighten up my diet a bit, been eating a bit too much. Nothing crazy just going to cut out a few things

19
Ages 20-29 / Re: Have to start this diary
« on: May 21, 2020, 07:16:45 PM »
Hey man welcome to the forum! I read everything you wrote. For sure porn is a big issue and the root of the problems you are describing.

It's good that you now know this and you can make a commitment to cutting this stuff out of your life!
You can do it for sure

20
Ages 20-29 / Re: My journal to recovery- Could use support
« on: May 19, 2020, 05:37:03 PM »
Hey everyone, went for a hike yesterday that was really nice. Making a few changes in my life. Thinking of perhaps logging here again, maybe doing a month ago. I just found this article which really I am finding helpful for future mindset/ preventing lapses or how to look at them:
https://www.unk.com/blog/3-relapse-prevention-strategies/?7233

It seems to be meant for therapists treating people, but I find it helpful for myself

21
Teens / Re: is there any hope for me? fetish addiction
« on: May 16, 2020, 09:25:41 PM »
Man, you can definitely get over this! It may be difficult but you can do it and you are doing the right thing! Our brains are very very plastic and tastes absolutely can adapt. You will absolutely come to enjoy sex and it'll be far far far more gratifying thing this old other stuff.

Even if before porn you felt like you had that preference it is very very possible that you may have had an experience while young that you can not remember, which led to this initially. For example some people as kids (Even if they don't remember it) see a movie and a woman hits a guy in the crotch, that is the first time they see anything involving a woman touching a man's crotch and the association starts even if they don't remember it. Something similar probably happened to you with the feet then the porn expands on it substantially. When you avoid the stuff and evntually start to be with real women, it'll fade. At first you may be with a girl and all the porn/fetish junk stars popping into your mind, but it'll fade over time.

I had some crazy fetishes and they'd pop into my head but as I'd have sexual experience with women I returned to my natural roots, even if I couldn't remember them (and you will too)! Just remember to keep going! You are catching this really young so give it everything you got! You can be pretty well recovered and have a great college experience hopefully

22
Ages 20-29 / Re: My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
« on: May 16, 2020, 07:28:54 AM »
Sounds like all very good ideas. Keep up the good work! Reviewing the reasons sounds great. I like that phrase "isn't real no deal!" easy to remember and a great true guide!

23
Ages 20-29 / Re: HumaNature's Journal
« on: May 16, 2020, 07:27:06 AM »
Glad to hear you are doing good! Keep up the good work. It's great you were able to trace exactly what caused the last lapse (half hot half cold shower) you know exactly what triggered it for you - so cold showers the way to go!

24
Sounds like a solid plan! I like the post before this one, always good to remember why we are beating this! So much more time will be saved, a huge boost in mental health etc. all sorts of good things. You can do it! Just keep doing what works!

25
Ages 20-29 / Re: Pushing back!
« on: May 16, 2020, 07:23:09 AM »
Keep up the good work man! Very good that you are aware of what led to that urge so that you can change it in the future. Keep doing what you are doing, more and more of the positive and you'll beat this!

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