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Messages - Hand Solong

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1
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 15, 2019, 02:28:11 PM »
Day 15

Today is a good day. I'm so happy that I haven't fouled up 2019 with fap.

2
Day 14

Still going strong. Yes!

It amazes me how there are people in these forums that bounce around in threads giving "advice" and offering the ways in which they combat the addiction yet they've relapsed like  4 times so far this year. SMH! I just want to tell them to go sit down somewhere and read. Don't talk! Just read!

LoL

3
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 14, 2019, 08:09:26 AM »
Cut it out, guys.  Clean means NO PORN, or even erotica, and if you are cutting out masturbation then no mb.  You guys who are edging or peeking aren't  rebooting.  You're just building your own demise.  It is time to.get serious.  That means unless there is a real naked woman in your bedroom it is no deal.  Time to get serious.

Rich

Actually, there is a naked woman in my bedroom but she's inflatable.

And you clearly made his point. Maybe if you actually took this seriously you wouldn't consistently be in here saying

"Day 0"

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Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 14, 2019, 07:50:16 AM »
Cut it out, guys.  Clean means NO PORN, or even erotica, and if you are cutting out masturbation then no mb.  You guys who are edging or peeking aren't  rebooting.  You're just building your own demise.  It is time to.get serious.  That means unless there is a real naked woman in your bedroom it is no deal.  Time to get serious.

Rich

Dilly Dilly!


5
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 14, 2019, 07:42:26 AM »
Day 14

Still going strong. The mental fog has cleared enough that I can read without falling asleep after a few pages. Yes!

6
Porn Addiction / Seeking reviews of Zift from Contentwatch
« on: January 10, 2019, 02:50:23 PM »
Is anyone using Zift from Contentwatch or know someone who is? If so what has your experience been. Does it work? Has it been reliable? Are there any features you like? Are there any features you wish were included but aren't? The folks at Net Nanny keep "harassing" me to try it so I figured that I would ask the community first.

www.wezift.com

7
Porn Addiction / Re: A question from a female to guys (help needed)
« on: January 10, 2019, 12:05:59 PM »
Let try and understand:

You met him a month ago.
The first four times you've seen each other you guys have had sex.
The fourth time he had a minor bout with ED but you were fine with it because of PMO addiction

He told you about his addiction in 1 months time? How did that conversation come up? It's surprising to me because divulging a PMO addiction is not easy. I'd venture a guess as to the reason why he started ducking you is because he's really not ready to be held accountable for his addiction and as long as he maintains somewhat of an intimate relationship with you he runs the risk of being held accountable by you (not to mention having to answer a lot of awkward questions from you).

How old are you? How old is he? (just curious)

8
I'm 10 days in. Hard Mode (I think). I haven't relapsed but I've definitely substituted M'ing myself to death with eating myself to death. Is this happening to anyone else? My cravings for restaurant foods have gone through the roof.

I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I keep telling myself that it's just withdrawal causing me to think those thoughts.

I've never been a drug addict but I did experiment with cocaine a dozen times give or take. I usually acted out when I did experiment.....surprise, surprise! I keep having drug thoughts/cravings and I haven't touched the stuff in over a decade. Thoughts of ways I acted out when I experimented have flooded my consciousness occasionally throughout these past 9 days.

I tried to attend an SA meeting last night but only two others were there and it wrapped up just as I walked in the door (about 10 minutes late). They told me about an SAA meeting tonight that I'm considering attending. I've tried twelve step before but it didn't really work for me. I'm returning to them because I've been feeling strong cravings to just interact with people. It's a little scary because I'm an African American on Long Island (NY) and from what I've experienced so far since moving here in 2013 is that black and white don't really intermingle out here. I'm probably going to have a drink beforehand to find the nerve to go in. I had two drinks last night before going to the SA meeting.

Thanks for reading.

9
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 10, 2019, 08:01:40 AM »
Day 10

I'm 10 days in. Hard Mode (I think). I haven't relapsed but I've definitely substituted M'ing myself to death with eating myself to death. Is this happening to anyone else? My cravings for restaurant foods have gone through the roof.

I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I keep telling myself that it's just withdrawal causing me to think those thoughts.

I've never been a drug addict but I did experiment with cocaine a dozen times give or take. I usually acted out when I did experiment.....surprise, surprise! I keep having drug thoughts/cravings and I haven't touched the stuff in over a decade. Thoughts of ways I acted out when I experimented have flooded my consciousness occasionally throughout these past 9 days.

I tried to attend an SA meeting last night but only two others were there and it wrapped up just as I walked in the door (about 10 minutes late). They told me about an SAA meeting tonight that I'm considering attending. I've tried twelve step before but it didn't really work for me. I'm returning to them because I've been feeling strong cravings to just interact with people. It's a little scary because I'm an African American on Long Island (NY) and from what I've experienced so far since moving here in 2013 is that black and white don't really intermingle out here. I'm probably going to have a drink beforehand to find the nerve to go in. I had two drinks last night before going to the SA meeting.

Thanks for reading.

10
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 08, 2019, 12:03:34 PM »
"If you are as seriously PORNoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution."

I need to expose a ridiculous reservation I've been having since becoming abstinent (14 days ago). I keep fantasizing about watching Game of Thrones, when the new season airs in a couple of months. It's the last season, and I really want to know how the story ends. But I'm a porn addict, and I also know that there's a TON of softcore porn in that show, which is exactly what my addiction wants to feed on. My mind keeps saying "You'll be fine. By the time it airs, you'll be cured, and you can watch stuff like a normal person, with impunity." Or, "Everyone else is going to be watching it, and you'll be left out." I need to make a decision about this now, and I probably should just go ahead and remove the HBO app from my Roku. There's hardly anything on that channel that isn't TV-MA (that I'd want to watch, anyway), and I'm trying to stick to a PG-13 mental diet. Moreover, I simply don't think I can be "cured" of porn addiction, in the sense that I can ever watch it again without spiraling out of control with it. If I'm enjoying my porn use, I'm not controlling it. And if I'm controlling my porn use, I'm not enjoying it. Anyway, hope all are well out there. Happy Tuesday!

That's right, man. Don't fall into that trap. I've quit watching my TV shows because of this and I don't regret it. Why sabotage myself? I want to cure myself and I will do anything.

I agree man. The addiction definitely has something to do with your fantasizing about Game of Thrones and your "You'll be fine. By the time it airs..." thought processes. I go through similar things as well. I never did get into GOT because of the soft porn. If memory serves me correct, the very first episode had some nudity in it and from that point I told myself that GOT wasn't for me.

Happy Tuesday to you as well.

11
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 07, 2019, 12:13:24 PM »
Day 7

Today's a good day. I had been battling some strong urges over the weekend but today it feels like my mind, body, and soul are at peace. I'm really starting to believe that I'm going to look back and think getting rid of the internet at home and using software to keep the mobile devices in check were the best things I did for myself in 2019.

12
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 06, 2019, 02:49:01 PM »
That's right, man. I've calmed myself down a little bit from how pissed off I was after the relapse, now I can think more clearly. Alright, I will commit myself to the hard mode. After all these years of artificial pleasure, I can't avoid the pain. I just want to end the circle of: Suffering (urges) -> Relief (relapse) -> Suffering again. I might as well go through the suffering once and be done with it than encountering it every time. I can't believe I let the edging throw me down today.
Hey changemylife, I've read your last few posts....don't be so hard on yourself. After 20 plus years of smoking cigarettes I finally figured it out for myself and I'm currently 15 months cigarette free. I failed a whole bunch of times but I would never have gotten to enjoy the 15 months of freedom I currently enjoy if I had quit trying. I'm right here with you trying to quit this PMO addiction. I'm determined to keep failing until I get this one right too! I'll tell you this much though, you've got me beat in the sense of your NOFAP got off track because of edging. I could never edge. If I start....I "O".

Keep the faith.

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Porn Addiction / Re: How do you guys stay busy on weekends?
« on: January 04, 2019, 07:44:05 AM »
I've been spending more time at the local library.

14
Porn Addiction / Re: Android guest user account removal
« on: January 04, 2019, 07:43:15 AM »
I use Net Nanny. Net Nanny has its issues from time to time and I've had to contact tech support. Net Nanny allows the option to block Android settings. You won't be able to use guest accounts if your settings are blocked. Although the settings are blocked, it does allow access to WiFi settings and Bluetooth settings.

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Porn Addiction / Re: Good filters for Android phones?
« on: January 04, 2019, 07:41:07 AM »
Hello guys,

I have been trying to stop porn use on my One Plus 6 android phone. However, the problem is that whichever porn blocking app I download only works on my main user account. In the latest android phones, there is an option of guest user account. I can easily switch to guest user and start viewing porn there without any problem even if the porn blocking app is activated on the main account. The guest account can be deleted and remade so there is no point in installing a porn blocker in guest account. Has anyone here encountered such a problem? And what has you done to overcome it? Any android geeks who can help me out? The last resort for me would be selling my phone and buying an older phone whose android does not have guest account option, but before taking that extreme measure I would want to get it fixed on my current phone.

Thanks !

I use Net Nanny. Net Nanny has its issues from time to time and I've had to contact tech support. Net Nanny allows the option to block Android settings. You won't be able to use guest accounts if your settings are blocked. Although the settings are blocked, it does allow access to WiFi settings and Bluetooth settings.

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Porn Addiction / Re: Good filters for Android phones?
« on: January 04, 2019, 07:37:35 AM »
My experience has been there really aren't any filters for cell phones that are worth a dime.  If you have incognito mode or something similar on your phone, clicking that is all you need to do to get around the filter. I'd love to be wrong about this so if someone has a better answer, please share it.  Thanks

I don't believe this is the case with Net Nanny (although Net Nanny has its issues).

17
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 04, 2019, 07:34:24 AM »
Day 4

Still "sober." Triggers are powerful things and they can come at the most inopportune times from unexpected directions. My ex-wife had hip surgery. Because of this she sent me a picture of her X-ray a month after the surgery. In the x-ray you can see the contours of butt cheeks, and it appeared as though you could see her pantie line (but she wasn't wearing any. Nonetheless, I was charged up most of the night from seeing this x-ray. I was so tempted to ask her to sext me a picture but I didn't. I think I had a 50/50 chance of actually receiving one even though she knows all too well about my porn addiction.

...I continue to use Instagram for dopamine micro-doses....

I know your pain brother. I wound up paying for Net Nanny to block porn on my devices and also to block Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest....etc. I would do the same thing but they eventually led me back to the path of PMO.

18
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 03, 2019, 08:24:12 AM »
Day 3 and still going strong over here as well. I faltered a little bit by searching these forums for stories that would spike my dopamine levels but I ultimately ended up disappointed. I feel better today.

19
You're not a loser, and you're definitely not alone.

Focus on replacing PMO with 3 positive things (exercise, hobby, etc.). Don't obsess over your PIED. Have faith that you're body will repair itself over time. Reading success stories here on this site have convinced me that the body will repair. 

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Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 03, 2019, 08:03:34 AM »
I had this going on with me many times. It was like a fight inside me. Half of me said: "You have no reason to stop this because you started watching porn and edging anyway. Just imagine how great it will feel after you O." And the other half said: "Nooo! Stop this shit right now! Come on, you can walk away!" I just sat there, in front of the computer knowing I had to stop but the addicted half of me won.

Dilly, Dilly!!

21
Ages 40 and up / Re: Please do not reply. I'm not ready for replies.
« on: January 02, 2019, 01:07:41 PM »
I just spent the better part of my lunch break performing searches in these forums. I was hoping that someone's story contained some of the behaviors I was a part of and that they described it in enough detail so that I could get aroused and catch a "buzz."  It's going to be a really lonely road if I have to block this forum so that my addiction doesn't push me to search for triggers.

I feel dejected.

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Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 01, 2019, 10:25:02 PM »
You're not alone in "...actively disliking as I partook..."

I've been there with porn, and cigarrettes.

Addiction is terrible..

Only at the moment t that you decide to give up on your desire to be PMO free do you fail. You're fine in my book.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Please do not reply. I'm not ready for replies.
« on: January 01, 2019, 06:45:03 PM »
I'm going to politely request again that readers do not reply in this journal. PM's are okay.


Thanks in advance.

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Porn Addiction / Re: Thoughts on this?
« on: January 01, 2019, 01:47:46 PM »
Hey guys,

I was wondering the following - iv noticed that I'm always aroused at the idea of giving a blowjob but im not attracted to guys at all - iv thought about that extensively and not at all - but I'm currently rebooting after years of porn addiction, and my main (very predominantly) type of porn was women giving blowjobs

Iv read that as a result of porn addiction, you can develop fetishes or things that arouse you due to your porn addiction, which go away gradually as you successfully reboot

Is it possible that this is a result of my porn addiction?


I had/have the exact same thoughts. Your predominant type of porn was also my preferred type. Those thoughts mixed with experimentation with cocaine, and I crossed that line a handful of times. One thing I can say from experience is that reality did not come close to comparing with the fantasy that I built and nurtured in my thoughts.

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Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 01, 2019, 01:27:39 PM »
I have a request. Will each of you upload a profile picture/avatar? Not a selfie necessarily, anything really. Just to you know add a little color and character to the topic.

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