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Messages - Hand Solong

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1
Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Re: New member
« on: April 20, 2020, 04:56:24 AM »
No I never read any of the articles on here, I’ve not actually managed to read that many on here yet but this is where I read it -  https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=90807
There are several others that are all saying the same thing?

"Erections: Use 'Em or Lose 'Em" is a catchy title, it even causes a little anxiety. The conclusion as written by the researchers who conducted the study starts off "Regular intercourse protects against the development of erectile dysfunction among men aged 55 to 75 years." That just doesn't have quite the same ring to it. https://www.amjmed.com/article/S0002-9343(08)00314-8/fulltext

I do find something very interesting about this article.  If you pause your ad blocker and scroll a little further down the page past the end of the article you will come across "Sponsored Ads."  I don't think it's a coincidence that ads 1 thru 5 are ED related.

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Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Re: New member
« on: April 19, 2020, 08:15:33 PM »
Read these articles where....on here? I can't say that I've come across those sentiments here. I may have read somewhere like 30 to 40 ED reboot accounts on here. I can distinctly remember two accounts where, after a year of rebooting they didn't have any appreciable improvement. One of those accounts, the guy continued to MO without the P and he came to wonder if maybe the MO was affecting his recovery. The other account was from a guy who was obese. He was convinced that his poor health was also a major factor with his ED.


I don't know if you'll lose it by not using it but I can say with great certainty from my own experience that you can definitely lose it if you abuse it. And right now I'm full of hope and optimism that I haven't lost it for good.


Take a look at some of these. I think they'll help you feel more confident about life without PMO and ED recovery:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts/

3
Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Re: New member
« on: April 19, 2020, 06:48:58 AM »
Short answer...hell yeah.

I'm 45. I'd say that for the last decade, probably longer, I've been living under the cloud of having masturbated myself into a flatline.

"If I watch porn I can get an erection but it’s a struggle and often not fully hard"

I got to the point where I wasn't getting an erection from porn alone. I needed lubrication, I needed to manually...you know. Edging for hours with porn felt good, the O still felt good, but the "high" didn't last long. Sex? I could manage a "functional" erection...but any type of riding, by her, was not happening.

I'm currently 61 of 65 days porn free (I slacked for a second, but I'm back no question). I've been flatlined the whole entire time. I have experienced some subtle signs of "rebirth" but I'm still a long ways off.

"Like porn now does nothing for me..."

It's sort of strange. Porn and even the thought of porn excites something inside of me but it's not horniness. But like horniness the feeling is compelling. The feeling pushes me towards P and M and O like horniness pushes you when you're in the club to go find somebody cute to grind on ::).

4
Hey goodvibes. I inboxed you.

5
Ages 40 and up / Day 51
« on: April 05, 2020, 09:56:23 AM »
I've never gone this long without PMO since I was introduced to PMO some 30+ years ago. I vividly remember the times when I thought I'd never be free from the compulsion to MO to P or P substitutes. I'm still in awe that I've broken away and stayed away for this long.


I'm happy to say that "junior" has shown signs of life over these past 51 days however, it's still been 51 days of flatline. In all honesty, I've been flatlined for years but it never stopped me from PMO'ing.

I've used the COVID-19 pandemic to my advantage. I wish all of you strength in doing the same.

6
Porn Addiction / Re: Rebooting is not enough
« on: March 06, 2020, 08:56:08 AM »
Wow! This fool Realbeater registered on this forum YESTERDAY and now he's some friggin expert of what can or can't be accomplished by Rebooting?

 

7
Porn Addiction / Re: Rebooting is not enough
« on: March 06, 2020, 08:52:05 AM »
I realize that someone out there might need some meaningful clarity on this matter. So then prove me wrong, yes prove me wrong, if there is someone out there who never had intimacy before PIED and had a servere case but recovered on rebooting alone then tell us your story myb you might help someone. However, I'm still yet to see someone who has been rewiring with a girl for a straight year uninterrupted by porn or breakups and still complaining about what a horrible flatline they have, irrespective of their background.   So this thing of chasing 200+ days thinking it's the ultimate cure, you'll be disappointed when you still not seeing meaningful result. And if not a single person comes forward with their story then I rest my case.

Prove you wrong? There are THOUSANDS of rebooting accounts here in this forum alone. How about you go read every last one of them from beginning to end and then you will have your answer.  I assure you that if you are truly serious about finding your answer then your resolve will be a million times stronger than anyone in here's resolve to prove something to you.

Prove you wrong? Dude get over yourself, and while you're at it GTFOH with your negative nonsense. Get 30 days worth of reboot into your system so you have enough testosterone reserves in you to stop talking like a b!@ch!

8
Porn Addiction / Re: Problem with motivation...
« on: March 06, 2020, 08:34:26 AM »
Moreover, opportunities often arise spontaneously. Let's say you have PIED and you get to know the friend of a friend at a party whom you find attractive. You won't be able to make anything happen. Porn keeps you trapped. My twenties in four sentences. And this could have been my thirties, too. And my fourties. And my ...

Amen

9
Porn Addiction / Re: Problem with motivation...
« on: March 06, 2020, 08:32:22 AM »
After my first few attempts at quitting PMO (which lasted roughly 7-10 days each) I realized that it was the PMO that was causing my brain fog, diminished concentration and memory, lethargy, low level depression...etc. During those brief stints of sobriety I had the painful realization that my sexual response "mechanism" was "malfunctioning."

The experiences of sobriety and relapse showed me that when addiction had a hold of me, and I had been PMO'ing regularly, a simple thought could bring forth an almost immediate overwhelming compulsion to act. But after 10 days of sobriety, a "pause" developed between thought and action. The relapse was more choice driven than compulsion, and I grew more hateful towards that feeling of being compelled to act.

So, my main motivations, in addition to my burning desire to maintain a steel like _____ while having mind blowing ___ with a real life woman, are to obtain an inner peace free of the health ailments I mentioned earlier, free of the guilt and shame of PMO, and freedom from addiction.

Through a long process of self reflection I've made peace with the fact that after 20+ years of abuse I may have irreparably damaged myself. Will I ever overcome my PIED? I don't know. But if I never overcome it, and I never experience the privilege of being with a woman again on the terms I expressed earlier, being free of addiction and brain fog, diminished concentration and memory, lethargy, low level depression...etc will be more than enough reasons to remain PMO-free.

I hope this helps.

Han

10
Parental controls help to some degree...so you don't have to give up everything digital. For me its been Cleanbrowsing, Norton Family, and Net Nanny, plus a lot of persistence closing up loopholes as they're discovered.

11
Ages 40 and up / Just wanted to say hello
« on: February 27, 2020, 01:00:17 PM »
It's been a minute since I've posted in here. I hope everyone is doing well. Me? I woke up with a "crick" in my neck and it's really interfering with my day but I'll get through it.

Have a great day ya'll.

12
Ages 40 and up / Dear Pornography 9/23/2019
« on: October 16, 2019, 08:53:40 PM »
Dear Pornography,

Goodbye. Our relationship has been a wild rollercoaster of a ride but now it is time for that ride to end.

You comforted me when I felt afraid, and alone. Time stood still when you were in my arms and nothing else mattered. You helped to relieve the pain

I realize now that loving you the way I do is killing me. The effects of your love have brought upon me physical, psychological, and emotional distress.

I want to live the remainder of my life...with life! It is clear to me now that I must remove you from my life completely in order to truly live life with LIFE!

Good Bye,

Hand SoLong

13
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 15, 2019, 02:28:11 PM »
Day 15

Today is a good day. I'm so happy that I haven't fouled up 2019 with fap.

14
Day 14

Still going strong. Yes!

It amazes me how there are people in these forums that bounce around in threads giving "advice" and offering the ways in which they combat the addiction yet they've relapsed like  4 times so far this year. SMH! I just want to tell them to go sit down somewhere and read. Don't talk! Just read!

LoL

15
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 14, 2019, 08:09:26 AM »
Cut it out, guys.  Clean means NO PORN, or even erotica, and if you are cutting out masturbation then no mb.  You guys who are edging or peeking aren't  rebooting.  You're just building your own demise.  It is time to.get serious.  That means unless there is a real naked woman in your bedroom it is no deal.  Time to get serious.

Rich

Actually, there is a naked woman in my bedroom but she's inflatable.

And you clearly made his point. Maybe if you actually took this seriously you wouldn't consistently be in here saying

"Day 0"

16
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 14, 2019, 07:50:16 AM »
Cut it out, guys.  Clean means NO PORN, or even erotica, and if you are cutting out masturbation then no mb.  You guys who are edging or peeking aren't  rebooting.  You're just building your own demise.  It is time to.get serious.  That means unless there is a real naked woman in your bedroom it is no deal.  Time to get serious.

Rich

Dilly Dilly!


17
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 14, 2019, 07:42:26 AM »
Day 14

Still going strong. The mental fog has cleared enough that I can read without falling asleep after a few pages. Yes!

18
Porn Addiction / Seeking reviews of Zift from Contentwatch
« on: January 10, 2019, 02:50:23 PM »
Is anyone using Zift from Contentwatch or know someone who is? If so what has your experience been. Does it work? Has it been reliable? Are there any features you like? Are there any features you wish were included but aren't? The folks at Net Nanny keep "harassing" me to try it so I figured that I would ask the community first.

www.wezift.com

19
Porn Addiction / Re: A question from a female to guys (help needed)
« on: January 10, 2019, 12:05:59 PM »
Let try and understand:

You met him a month ago.
The first four times you've seen each other you guys have had sex.
The fourth time he had a minor bout with ED but you were fine with it because of PMO addiction

He told you about his addiction in 1 months time? How did that conversation come up? It's surprising to me because divulging a PMO addiction is not easy. I'd venture a guess as to the reason why he started ducking you is because he's really not ready to be held accountable for his addiction and as long as he maintains somewhat of an intimate relationship with you he runs the risk of being held accountable by you (not to mention having to answer a lot of awkward questions from you).

How old are you? How old is he? (just curious)

20
I'm 10 days in. Hard Mode (I think). I haven't relapsed but I've definitely substituted M'ing myself to death with eating myself to death. Is this happening to anyone else? My cravings for restaurant foods have gone through the roof.

I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I keep telling myself that it's just withdrawal causing me to think those thoughts.

I've never been a drug addict but I did experiment with cocaine a dozen times give or take. I usually acted out when I did experiment.....surprise, surprise! I keep having drug thoughts/cravings and I haven't touched the stuff in over a decade. Thoughts of ways I acted out when I experimented have flooded my consciousness occasionally throughout these past 9 days.

I tried to attend an SA meeting last night but only two others were there and it wrapped up just as I walked in the door (about 10 minutes late). They told me about an SAA meeting tonight that I'm considering attending. I've tried twelve step before but it didn't really work for me. I'm returning to them because I've been feeling strong cravings to just interact with people. It's a little scary because I'm an African American on Long Island (NY) and from what I've experienced so far since moving here in 2013 is that black and white don't really intermingle out here. I'm probably going to have a drink beforehand to find the nerve to go in. I had two drinks last night before going to the SA meeting.

Thanks for reading.

21
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 10, 2019, 08:01:40 AM »
Day 10

I'm 10 days in. Hard Mode (I think). I haven't relapsed but I've definitely substituted M'ing myself to death with eating myself to death. Is this happening to anyone else? My cravings for restaurant foods have gone through the roof.

I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I keep telling myself that it's just withdrawal causing me to think those thoughts.

I've never been a drug addict but I did experiment with cocaine a dozen times give or take. I usually acted out when I did experiment.....surprise, surprise! I keep having drug thoughts/cravings and I haven't touched the stuff in over a decade. Thoughts of ways I acted out when I experimented have flooded my consciousness occasionally throughout these past 9 days.

I tried to attend an SA meeting last night but only two others were there and it wrapped up just as I walked in the door (about 10 minutes late). They told me about an SAA meeting tonight that I'm considering attending. I've tried twelve step before but it didn't really work for me. I'm returning to them because I've been feeling strong cravings to just interact with people. It's a little scary because I'm an African American on Long Island (NY) and from what I've experienced so far since moving here in 2013 is that black and white don't really intermingle out here. I'm probably going to have a drink beforehand to find the nerve to go in. I had two drinks last night before going to the SA meeting.

Thanks for reading.

22
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 08, 2019, 12:03:34 PM »
"If you are as seriously PORNoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution."

I need to expose a ridiculous reservation I've been having since becoming abstinent (14 days ago). I keep fantasizing about watching Game of Thrones, when the new season airs in a couple of months. It's the last season, and I really want to know how the story ends. But I'm a porn addict, and I also know that there's a TON of softcore porn in that show, which is exactly what my addiction wants to feed on. My mind keeps saying "You'll be fine. By the time it airs, you'll be cured, and you can watch stuff like a normal person, with impunity." Or, "Everyone else is going to be watching it, and you'll be left out." I need to make a decision about this now, and I probably should just go ahead and remove the HBO app from my Roku. There's hardly anything on that channel that isn't TV-MA (that I'd want to watch, anyway), and I'm trying to stick to a PG-13 mental diet. Moreover, I simply don't think I can be "cured" of porn addiction, in the sense that I can ever watch it again without spiraling out of control with it. If I'm enjoying my porn use, I'm not controlling it. And if I'm controlling my porn use, I'm not enjoying it. Anyway, hope all are well out there. Happy Tuesday!

That's right, man. Don't fall into that trap. I've quit watching my TV shows because of this and I don't regret it. Why sabotage myself? I want to cure myself and I will do anything.

I agree man. The addiction definitely has something to do with your fantasizing about Game of Thrones and your "You'll be fine. By the time it airs..." thought processes. I go through similar things as well. I never did get into GOT because of the soft porn. If memory serves me correct, the very first episode had some nudity in it and from that point I told myself that GOT wasn't for me.

Happy Tuesday to you as well.

23
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 07, 2019, 12:13:24 PM »
Day 7

Today's a good day. I had been battling some strong urges over the weekend but today it feels like my mind, body, and soul are at peace. I'm really starting to believe that I'm going to look back and think getting rid of the internet at home and using software to keep the mobile devices in check were the best things I did for myself in 2019.

24
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 06, 2019, 02:49:01 PM »
That's right, man. I've calmed myself down a little bit from how pissed off I was after the relapse, now I can think more clearly. Alright, I will commit myself to the hard mode. After all these years of artificial pleasure, I can't avoid the pain. I just want to end the circle of: Suffering (urges) -> Relief (relapse) -> Suffering again. I might as well go through the suffering once and be done with it than encountering it every time. I can't believe I let the edging throw me down today.
Hey changemylife, I've read your last few posts....don't be so hard on yourself. After 20 plus years of smoking cigarettes I finally figured it out for myself and I'm currently 15 months cigarette free. I failed a whole bunch of times but I would never have gotten to enjoy the 15 months of freedom I currently enjoy if I had quit trying. I'm right here with you trying to quit this PMO addiction. I'm determined to keep failing until I get this one right too! I'll tell you this much though, you've got me beat in the sense of your NOFAP got off track because of edging. I could never edge. If I start....I "O".

Keep the faith.

25
Porn Addiction / Re: How do you guys stay busy on weekends?
« on: January 04, 2019, 07:44:05 AM »
I've been spending more time at the local library.

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