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Messages - Spiritseeker

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Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: July 14, 2017, 02:14:03 AM »
It's been 7 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

I had a relapse, but I don't have enough time to explain what excatly happened. To sum up, here it goes my piece of advice: IF YOU CAN'T GET TO SLEEP, ABORT IT AND GO DO SOMETHING ELSE. On my way to travel with my girlfriend and my family for a wedding and I'll be heading to a big city for a trainee program next Monday. Hope I can make it. If I can't, no big deal, everything is getting back on track again. Keep struggling, my friends.

Congratulations for your successful streak, buddy. Can you tell what are the major benefits you notice by keeping away from porn?

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: July 04, 2017, 02:09:04 AM »
It's been 14 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

2 weeks. It feels like quite an achievement to me. Looking forward to see how things are going to feel next. I slept till late and got some anxiety in the afternoon, but everything paid off by jogging and 80 squats -- increasing gradually - in the evening. I heard something lovely from my girlfriend when I was driving her back home tonight. She said I've been kind to her in a way I hadn't been for a long time. I know I'm not doing good in productivity, but keeping away from porn has been extraordinarily fulfilling, both to me and my girl. I'm recovering my sensibility. I keep telling her: "first things first". No matter what, God be praised. I'm grateful.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Let's bring this addiction to the ground
« on: July 03, 2017, 02:30:11 AM »
Congratulations for your success so far, my friend. You seem to be fully equipped to fight porn addiction. Rest assure you'll be in my prayers, as well as everybody struggling against PMO who only God knows. Peace!  ;D

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: July 03, 2017, 02:18:35 AM »
It's been 13 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

Ordinary Sunday today: had lunch with family, watched series with gf and went to church. However, in the beginning of the evening, my girlfriend received a phone call from a friend who was feeling suicidal. She was crying profusely and had injected an antidepressant in one of her thighs. The reason being was that she wanted the medicine to effect faster. As she works as a nurse, no major issues with the procedure, but she stated that she had a considerable pain while doing it, purposely to "replace an inner pain by an outer pain". We drove to her place as fast as we could. I was very frightened and expecting an unconcious laying girl, but my girlfriend just found her mourning with an injured leg. During that moment, I completely forgot any fantasy and any lust I could feel. Death grounds you in reality, even a mere threat.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: July 03, 2017, 02:00:15 AM »
I love your mood level tracker btw :)
If I may ask, what do you mean that you are seeing things slightly differently?
Congrats on the offer! You're definitely going to take it and when will you start?
I'm happy for you and your girl, cherish that brotha :D

Thanks, dude haha. I saw this mood level tracker thing in someone's journal and I found it interesting and cool since the beginning. Of course it doesn't match exactly how my mood would be from 0-10 but this is a way to help myself remember how happy I was in a certain moment, besides supporting people to properly understand the weight of the words I type in here. Maybe I could plot a graph in the end of my reboot.  :P Regarding my feelings, it's hard to explain, but I'll do my best. Well, I would start from this point: your house is a place where you're used to. When you arrive home from a random place, there's nothing different there. You fully know what to expect from it. In my case, everything was going this way, but yesterday I was just doing some random stuff around my house and I suddenly had the insight it was kind of a different place, or maybe it was a place with many other characteristics I hadn't perceived before. I don't know how accurate the report of this experience is, but that is the way I'd describe what I felt in that moment. I presume it was part of the changes already taking place in my brain, likely a release of neuro-substances. It was a weird feeling but I'm very glad it is already happening.

Yes, I can't even remember the last time I spent 14 days without PMOing, so I have quite some reasons to expect my brain will be hitting me hard this week. My plan keeps being what has been the most effective actions: social gatherings and decent exercising. If I don't have enough head to do other things, these won't be requiring that much and I'll go for it. I have no doubts leaving home is the best way to fight this shit. Not only because you stay away from your computer but because you submit your brain to other experiences, probably helping with the rewiring. I'll try to turn on my computer only with people around: either to play videogames with mates or to watch good series with my girlfriend. That's it: hanging out, jogging, squats. Major habits.  8)

Ages 20-29 / Re: Rediscovering reasons to live
« on: July 02, 2017, 01:12:15 AM »
Congratulations for your streak, siphus. I'll soon be hitting 14 days and I'm feeling next week is gonna be tough. My plan at the moment is keeping exercising and doubling my schedule so I can get very, very far from my room. What do you think of this?

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: July 02, 2017, 01:03:14 AM »
It's been 12 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 7,0.

Quite ordinary day today. A little anxious and my eyes are hunting exciting images without my permission. Back when I had a PMO routine, I got used to a certain variety of feelings during the day, but today it's like I started seeing things around me differently, kinda weird. If this is an effect due to reboot, that has been one of the most interesting experiences I've ever had. Not because I deeply fell in love with having urges and flatlines, but because I feel I'm able to keep track of the changes happening in my brain. I had some light headaches too. Gotta sleep, folks. 

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: July 01, 2017, 02:00:40 AM »
It's been 11 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 7,0.

Today I once again fell into the random and useless internet surfing. I wasn't intentionally looking for provocative pics or anything, but I felt a little anxious and didn't do anything productive unless the jogging and 60 squats in the evening. I want to start working asap. It's like my mind was seeking comfort and rest, maybe just because yesterday was a good day enough.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 30, 2017, 12:10:48 AM »
It's been 10 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,5.

More small signs of recovery effects and mental clarity today. I also received the formal proposition from the English school I'm applying for and the pay is absolutely great. With no shadow of doubt, this is one of the best news I received in the last 7 months. No heavy urges yet. What made me a little uncomfortable is that my cousin will be moving with his girlfriend on Sunday, what is going to get me less mates to hang out with. I don't care that much because my girlfriend is my best friend, the sweetest thing in the globe. Being intimate to someone is a wonder of life.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 30, 2017, 12:02:03 AM »
Dude, have you and your girl really been abstinent and in a relationship for 5 years? If so, then hurry up, marry her and do the deed!  :D

Yeah, man. If everything goes accordingly to what we've planned, our marriage starts within 2 years. I need to get a very nice job cause we want to have a bunch of kids. The thing is we started dating when we were both 17 and now at 22 we realized how serious it really is.  :)

Ages 20-29 / Re: My quitting journal
« on: June 28, 2017, 11:57:59 PM »
Welcome back, Retro Gamer. I have no doubts that here you're going to find all the support you need until your recovery. Yes, I think there are big chances all the bad things you mentioned are due to pornography addiction. In fact, guys don't realize how PMO is killing them till they quit -- fortunately you've already figured it out. I'm on day 9 and I'm already tasting the benefits of being free from porn. You can get further details by taking a peek at my journal's today's post. Friend, so good you're motivated and ready to fight. Keep going, mate!

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 28, 2017, 11:44:35 PM »
Light exercise is pretty helpful for me, too, at the very least to not feel like an unprogressive slob. I have a system with a friend-- plan is 100 pushups and situps per day, which isn't easy. So the squats don't sound lame, they sound like a useful technique :D sounds like a solid day my dude.

Yeah, I can't perform intense workout as people recommend during reboot but I try to get slightly exhausted after training. Squats are known to be good because they concentrate blood all over your legs, supposely draining it and keeping it from your penis. Something like that. As I was not used to exercising and let alone doing squats, I still feel the effects of stressing my legs yesterday. I plan on doing the same activity tomorrow -- 1 day of rest. Wow, 100 push-ups seem quite difficult indeed. Can you guys make it every day?

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 28, 2017, 11:28:11 PM »
It's been 9 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 7,0.

Ordinary day today. I was feeling anxious in the afternoon, but nothing escalated that serious. Started a new and very interesting philosophy lesson today -- which is already pretty good -- but didn't finish it because of that. I invited my mates to play cards but all of them couldn't make it. However, one of them made up his mind in the last minute and called me over. I've just returned from his place and something quite interesting happened on the way back. I heard some guys saying that they experience some sort of mental clarity increase after some days of reboot, that they begin remembering things they weren't able to before. I think I started tasting that while I was driving my bike on the way back home. I'm so grateful for that, because maybe that is already a sign of recovery and a prelude of freedom. That was a kind of a booster for me. I'm good at all. I feel that, if I stayed home, things would have been quite different. No doubts going out and hanging out with people is a key habit in PMO combat.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Archer Brazilian, Faith and Courage
« on: June 28, 2017, 12:58:02 AM »
Hello, my friend. I'm also from Brazil and I'm struggling against this problem as well. No matter what you're feeling, keep fightning against this. Review the big problems on porn addiction and why you started this treatment in the first place. I'm religious too and I'll be praying for you. Please, do pray for me as well and with God's help we'll reach freedom. Love and peace!

Ages 20-29 / Re: Nobody IRL Takes This Seriously
« on: June 28, 2017, 12:46:26 AM »
Hello, Ewor. I must say I read your journal and I felt touched by your words. Friend, please understand that everything you're going through has an explanation and a solution. I'm sure some guys have been through worse in this treatment. Just have a peek on YouTube and you're going to figure it out. I've been on this forum not for so long and I don't exactly know how I can help you. I don't know if you are a religious person or not, but be sure a guy from Brazil already knows about your problem and he is going to pray for you and try to do the best he can to support you until your recovery. First of all, everything I can ultimately advise you is to get closer to a loved one, no matter if this person is a friend or a family member. Be honest with him, let all this crap out, tell everything! Claim for this person's help. You need to be around people dear to you. Surround yourself with love and sincerity. Regarding people who laugh at our problem, these are a bunch of mentally handicapped apes who are completely ignorant that porn addiction is a social and a health problem that is destroying people's lives. Fuck them off. People who don't care and even mock at misery and suffering deserve ZERO respect and attention. Keep very, very far from these ones because they also don't care about you at all. In addition to surround yourself with love, I would do these:

* Review all the problems on pornography, as well as the reasons why this has been an issue in your life. Go watch YBOP instructional videos and testimonies on YouTube;
* All these bad feelings you are having currently are not you. What is really you is that one you miss so much: the one who once did greater things. You must bring that man back and make it speak louder. You're not a mediocre person, you are that person you said you're missing so much. Don't let a mere dark part of you speak louder.
* Drastically limit your time in front of the computer. Go find happiness and peace out of your dark room. Do you really accept the idea that they only come by seeing virtual content in front of a goddamn screen?! GO OUT!
* Understand that successful rebooters relapsed. It's no news in relapsing, isn't it? Allow yourself to mistake and get back on your feet RIGHT NOW!
* If you any time feel really bad about you and your life, come back to this forum asking for help and call someone who you trust and surely loves you.

Keep struggling, my friend. Remember that many people have been through these and many in worse situations have succeeded. Never forget: what you are feeling has an explanation and a solution. You can trust me!

Ages 20-29 / Re: Journey to a better me
« on: June 27, 2017, 11:49:03 PM »

Yess!! I got the job!!! I get a bunch of benefits and perks that start day one, so excited to start in about a month. Also hung out with some friends and had a great time, awesome day today.

Congratulations, Jake323. As far as I can remember, getting this new job would be a real achievement for you. Everything I can wish you now is EVEN MORE SUCCESS. Go ahead!

Ages 20-29 / Re: Rediscovering reasons to live
« on: June 27, 2017, 11:46:07 PM »
Hello, siphus.

Dealing with people can be a big trouble sometimes. I try being sincere and kind towards them in order to get shit solved. Even if some of them don't even care, I can sleep conscious I tried to do the best I could. Regarding Friday/Saturday potential problems, I would try to schedule some activity with my friends. Go out. Considering my experience, nothing better to kill fantasies and urges than a good time out with dear ones. Anyway, congratulations for your progress so far. Keep going, mate.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 27, 2017, 11:32:26 PM »
It's been 8 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,5.

I had a relatively productive day today. No urges I can remember. Could finish a philosophy lesson and watched 2 episodes of a quite lovely series whose last season was released past few weeks. At the end of the afternoon, I went jogging and did 40 squats -- may sound laughable, but I saw somewhere this is a very good exercise for this treatment specifically, probably at YBOP forum. I visited my friend who is moving and we had quick but great talks there. The cherry on the cake was at the end of the evening when I paid my girlfriend a visit. She looked so sweet...  Tomorrow I'll try to have an even more productive day.  :)

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 27, 2017, 11:21:01 PM »
There are many of us on here with that as a factor, but this forum is more secular and relationship focused which I actually like a lot. Thanks for the breakdown about your music choices and your goals :)

Wow, that is new to me. To tell you the truth, I feel the same. Feel free to post on my thread with advice anytime you want, brother. I don't care about "spams" or anything. If you don't mind, I'll be visiting your journal as well. Love making good pals, mainly in this environment where we are all going through the same experiences.  :D

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 27, 2017, 04:56:41 PM »
Hello Spiritseeker,

Looks like you're building a good foundation for your life! Wife in 2 years, a job, do you have any hobby's?
I also had the habit to surf the internet, which is dangerous, so I started to learn the piano.
Looking forward seeing how this day went for you!

All the best,

Thank you for posting on my thread, Grandson_of_Thatcher. Yes, in addition to philosophy and high literature, I'm a videogame kind of guy. I like playing cards and boardgames as well. The thing is that I'm very limited in my hobbies at the moment on account of the unemployment, but hopefully the figure is going to change in the next two months. And I also recognize how surfing the internet is dangerous. I just had this sort of relapse yesterday but I could properly handle it today. In fact, I'm just trying to arrange my daily schedule in a way that I can do the things I love and exercising at the end of the day, which is highly recommended.  Wow, the piano is a great and very hard-to-learn instrument. Do you have any footage of your progress with it so far?

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 27, 2017, 04:46:35 PM »
Hey Spiritseeker! Thanks for sharing your intro and the rest of your journey with us! I too am religious and also interested in philosophical exploration but not well-versed on any of it so I'd be curious to know what you come across as you attempt to have healthy habits while fighting for a better life for you and your girlfriend. Since you mentioned a desire to do your tasks, what if you also try just finishing one or two of your chores while listening to music? Either way, hope to hear from you tonight possibly :)

Thank you very much for your feedback and suggestion, siphus. Good to know we have religious rebooters around. Actually, I was a little apprehensive before starting posting here because of it. As I'm struggling against PMO not only for health issues but for religious matters as well, I should watch the words I use on feedbacks I give and focus more on experience. Yes, I discovered philosophy in 2014 due to a friend who introduced me to the Brazilian philosopher Olavo de Carvalho -- he currently lives in the US. I'm not well-versed on the subject either, because in the course I attend we learn that philosophy is not necessarily a science nor a study, but an activity that involves way more your spirit than your brain. Then, there are a lot of prior affairs we must care about before attempting rough philosophy itself. As for my habits, I have a big problem at the moment: I'm unemployed. If you mean my daily schedule, I absolutely don't have any obligations and this is undoubtedly not the best scenario to fight porn addiction. I'm planning my duties on my own. But, if you mean what are the habits I'm making use of to fight PMO, nothing beyond we can ordinarily find on YBOP and YouTube. Curiously, I have been listening to music in order to keep far from urges and boredom situations, especially slow tempo ones like Gregorian Chant, Arias, and general Classical Music. As a matter of fact, I think music listening is a great habit to get rid of addictions. It's like it diminishes your "inner rythm", decreasing anxiety and stuff. I haven't had the opportunity yet but I'll recommend it to the other rebooting guys. Good results with that so far. I'm also used to listening to environmental music while keeping up with my chores, but I think my current problem is that I'm facing a withdrawal effect which gets me bored when I consider finishing the chores I left undone. Nevertheless, I had a fairly good day today so far: I finished a philosophy lesson and I'm going for a jog in the next hour. Not even close to the ideal but still progress. I'll call it "comfortable" when I get able to daily wake up early, study and read about the subjects I love, train for my future job and keep going out with friends more often.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 26, 2017, 10:28:22 PM »
It's been 7 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 6,0.

I didn't have a very productive day today. I let myself be lead by that random and useless online surfing in the afternoon. I'm sure it's due to my brain looking for dopamine peeks. The good thing is that I saw a friend today who is going to travel next wednesday. There is a slight chance he'll be moving to the US after that and we won't be seeing each other again for a long time, maybe no more. I hope tomorrow I start doing the tasks I set up as a week meta yesterday. Gotta sleep.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 25, 2017, 05:45:30 PM »
It's been 6 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

Thank you so much, mattboire. Yeah, let's all keep fighting against the new drug so that we can be free and become great achievers.

I missed writing on my journal yesterday, but I think this is not big deal. I find it is a sign that I'm caring about something else and not porn-related things. No big urges. As I'm not working yet, I feel I haven't been doing useful things, but I got the impression that I must change it because it can lead to idleness and this one is a hell of a trigger. The good thing is that I'm seeing people more often, what is quite healthy in this sort of treatment. I'll set up a meta for the next week:

* Enjoy this period I'm not working to study as much philosophy lessons I can;
* Get back to the books I was reading;
* Finish some chores I've been neglecting;
* Have a consistent schedule for some other things I consider fundamental in my life.

If I do these, I'll not get so bored and I'll have things to be proud of.  :)

Ages 20-29 / Re: Ad altiora natus sum
« on: June 24, 2017, 12:56:04 AM »
It's been 4 days since I last PMOed. Mood level: 8,0.

Ordinary day with not so much achievements. No heavy urges at all, at least nothing that would annoy me that much. I just had some fantasies with random women during the day but nothing to worry about -- yet. I invited a friend over and we played videogames a lot on my computer.

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