Reboot Nation

Journals => Ages 20-29 => Topic started by: annox on January 31, 2016, 01:43:18 AM

Title: 22 Years old - Extremely Long Re-boot! There is still hope for you ;P
Post by: annox on January 31, 2016, 01:43:18 AM
Test - 1
Title: Re: 22 Years old - Extremely Long Re-boot! There is still hope for you ;P
Post by: annox on January 31, 2016, 02:15:04 AM
Ok was just testing in the last post because I tried to start a thread here once and after 2hrs of typing nothing was saved(sigh).

About me. Feel free to skip to the below post for my recovery story, this is just my History with PMO, sex, and PE

Like I mentioned, 22yrs old, 23 in a few months time. If you're a regular on this site and YBOP then you know how important a factor age is on your "re-boot". I started watching porn and PMO'ing at about 14years old because every guy at high-school was pretty much talking about it or making references to it. I always had a fascination with women even at a young age and when I was out shopping with my mom and friends my buddy and I would regularly wander off into the magazine store and peek into their "Ralf" or "playboy" collections. This was about the age of 12-14. During that time though I don't recall every masturbating AT ALL. I only started masturbating when I began watching Porn around 14yrs old.

What started as a little Porn for me quickly escalated out of control. From 14-16 I would PMO 2-3 times a day whenever I got the chance. My parents were strict growing up so if I wanted to PMO I would have to be quick and discrete about it(a bad recipe for PE I know!). When my family would go out to gathering and I was home alone with no-one around I would sometimes PMO all night. I thought all this was normal though as other guys at school said they were doing it sometimes 6-7 times a day!

Anyway I knocked the PMO back to once a day probably around 16. No time for endless searching, just had to get the "quick fix"(ohh boy, PE here we come). Surely enough this went on until I was about 18. I started to have success with women at this time but nothing really wrong down there. Or so I though! The first 5 or so girls I got with there was really nothing accept some legitimate whisky dick and some virgin anxiety. But starting at girls 6 and onwards I found more and more that I was starting to finish faster around women and sometimes I wasn't even fully erect when we were having intercourse. Nothing really clicked to me though so I kept PMO'ing and chasing the ladies.

The last 5 or so girls that I have been with the sex has straight out been terrible because of me. I was pre-mature-ejaculating very quickly and struggling to get or maintain an erection at all! The girls were noticeably disappointed and I feel that because of this I've missed out on some really great relationships with these women. My frustration led me to the internet and I saw a video by Garry Wilson doing a TED talk. Anyone watching, go to youtube and type in "Garry Wilson Ted talk on Porn". Life changing for me and I'm sure it will be for you!

I'll be posting my current re-boot streak/history below, so stay tuned. Thanks for reading and be sure to leave a comment or question! :)

Title: Re: 22 Years old - Extremely Long Re-boot! There is still hope for you ;P
Post by: annox on January 31, 2016, 03:00:56 AM
Re-Boot history

It's currently the 31st of January 2016 as I'm writing this and I think I've been trying to re-boot from about September or October last year.

Current Streak: today is day 42 no PMO or P
I have MO however I've only done so 8 times so far. I keep a tracker and it helps keep me accountable.

First attempt
The first time I tried quitting I went 2weeks but I had no knowledge about withdrawal symptoms or flatlines etc. I watched porn to test myself and once I started I ended up MO'ing. Streak over! But I learnt my lesson and was determined. After PMO'ing 2 once for 2 days straight I was determined to start again.

Second attempt
I went all out on hard-mode for 28days. A lot of the advice on here was to make sure you go out and be social because of the endorphins etc so I did that. I ended up at the club grinding on a cute girl. I couldn't take her home but this made me really horny. At this time I was still going through extreme withdrawal symptoms which already made me really tired, plus it was late night. I PMO'ed and the chaser effect got me again the next day. I had enough though and was ready to try again.

Third attempt and more
I would always go "hard-more" for either 2 weeks or 4 weeks but could never break past that. It seemed like I would always relapse on Sundays when I was tired from a week of working/hustling really long hours and I was home alone on my computer. Another reason my attempts failed at this time in particular was because I wasn't really prepared to go though the withdrawal symptoms.

Anyway so my Current STREAK and how I got here today.
I went through a phase where I had a few binges, then I said to myself to just start trying to taper off porn slowly. I would start by not PMO'ing on my long work days. So I was down to 5 PMO's a week. From there I was fortunate that the holiday period was approaching(which meant that people were always home when I was) so I went a few more days without PMO at all. I was then starting work in a week so I decided to push myself and try going longer. I got up to about 1.5 weeks. Once work started I was to distracted and busy to PMO. I would come home so tired that all I did was either cook, go to the gym then watch TV and pass out early at night.

Withdrawal symptoms
I think I've had them all. Every symptom I've read about, I've had. The thing about withdrawal symptoms and your recovery is that recovery really isn't linear. You start off with a really big amount of momentum on the porn wheel and when you try to stop that wheel and create a porn free life the symptoms still come back in drips and drabs until that porn wheel has fully stopped spinning.(I hope you get what I meant here) :P

My progression with withdrawal has looked like this. 1st and 2nd week re-booting I felt great, no changes at all accept the 1st 3 days my libido was through the roof. I felt like a king or god or something.

From 2nd week to 4th week it really got interesting.
-I had headaches and sometimes still get random ones. (I'm extremely healthy and have never had random headaches before NO-FAP)
-It felt like something was wrong with me, like I was "incomplete" in some way.
-I felt more stressed and anxious. I sometimes yelled at people for no reason at all. Totally out of my character. I found that avoiding people (especially unsupportive people or people who don't know about NO-FAP) to be really beneficial particularly early in the re-boot helped me a lot. At least until some of my anxiety had gone away
- insomnia - ohh wow, probably one of the hardest things about NO-FAP, at least for me. To this day I still get insomnia.
- EXTREMELY LETHARGIC. Really really really bad for me. I usually have productive 14-15hr days but during this time I could only go to work, home, then watch TV until bed-time. At which point I couldn't sleep anyway because I had insomnia LOL
- increased/de-creased hunger at different times
-libido that fluctuates - one day random rock-hard erections and morning wood, other days nothing at all
- cravings and porn-flashbacks. Past porn images sometimes replay in my mind and the temptation to watch Is still there.
- wet dreams - I had my first one I YEARS. I literally soaked the place up one night.

Ok I'm going to end this post there for now. I' going to continue to not be that strict on the O part of NO-FAP for the next 20-30 days and then I'm planning on going hard mode. Stay tuned, I'll be posting more up here from now on. Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts. Stay clean!