Reboot Nation

Journals => Teens => Topic started by: no94 on March 12, 2014, 02:34:50 PM

Title: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 12, 2014, 02:34:50 PM
Hi everyone.

I found out about porn at the age of about 12, when my cousin showed my a rather extreme genre of porn. Of course I was hooked, and overtime I started smuggling my laptop to the closet or even taking it with me to the bathtub to get my daily dose of PMO. As soon as I got my smartphone I started PMOing 2-3 times a day, sometimes even up to 6 times. I used mobile porn in at least 2/3rd of my overall PMO sessions.

Over the next few years I started getting worse grades, I was anti-social, pseudo-depressed (I was a pussy), I had brain fog and all these mental problems and I was wondering what all that is. I blamed it on school, mostly. Also I had huge anxiety spikes sometimes. I never ever could imagine myself having intimate times with any girl ever. I thought that there will always be awkward silences in conversations with anyone etc. I thought that I'd never develop a personality.

Around the same time last year I found out about no-PMO while stumbling over yourbrainonporn.com. Everything was clear immediately. I was trying to stay off of porn since, without much success though as my longest streak was only 18 days long. But along with that I did everything I could to improve my life, I lost weight, I got way more social, I stopped procrastinating and a lot more. Finally I managed to get rid of my fear of rejection and to make out with girls in clubs on a weekly basis as most of my other friends did.

This made me think, "is this porn addiction thing real? My life improved greatly, yet I am still masturbating every few days." I fell back into my old habit for a month or so.

Everything changed last week, when I, for the first time, was in bed with a girl I really liked. At first I got hard, but after a few minutes of penetration I got flaccid again. I tried thinking of my favourite porn scenes but still no luck. Literally grabbing my head, I went to sleep with a disappointed/angry girl (she was understanding the next day, luckily). There was alcohol involved, too, but this was the turning point for me.

In this journal, I am making a promise for myself: I will never mention and let a relapse happen anymore.

Thanks for reading my story.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: lte on March 12, 2014, 02:50:49 PM
Thanks for joining us. There is more to life than porn addiction and there is life after porn addiction, a good life.

Let me suggest a couple of things, one is in my signature line: Remember, porn and masturbation are never the reward. Freedom from porn and masturbation is the reward. Secondly, simply refuse to touch yourself. It's that simple. If you don't touch your penis for pleasure you will have no use for porn anymore. Porn abets masturbation. You can never find sexual satisfaction without a partner; NEVER!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: rainforth13 on March 12, 2014, 11:12:04 PM
Welcome to RN, no94! Glad you are here and thanks for sharing your story!

Quote
Over the next few years I started getting worse grades, I was anti-social, pseudo-depressed (I was a pussy), I had brain fog and all these mental problems and I was wondering what all that is.

Porn has a lot of negative affects as you described very well. I have suffered similarly with brain fog and mental problems, unable to focus, etc. Watching porn can mess with and change your brain physically like being addicted to drugs or other substances.

I believe we were created for the real thing, sex with a girl. And I'm sorry to hear about your recent experience. I know that has to seem depressing but sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to push off the ground and get back up.

I admire your courage and promise you are making. I believe you are headed in a good direction. Know that if you do relapse, it isn't the end of the world, but do keep pressing forward. You can do it!

Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: lte on March 12, 2014, 11:31:41 PM
Welcome to RN, no94! Glad you are here and thanks for sharing your story!

Quote
Over the next few years I started getting worse grades, I was anti-social, pseudo-depressed (I was a pussy), I had brain fog and all these mental problems and I was wondering what all that is.

Porn has a lot of negative affects as you described very well. I have suffered similarly with brain fog and mental problems, unable to focus, etc. Watching porn can mess with and change your brain physically like being addicted to drugs or other substances.

I believe we were created for the real thing, sex with a girl. And I'm sorry to hear about your recent experience. I know that has to seem depressing but sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to push off the ground and get back up.

I admire your courage and promise you are making. I believe you are headed in a good direction. Know that if you do relapse, it isn't the end of the world, but do keep pressing forward. You can do it!
When you consider the fact that sex is chiefly for reproduction, it certainly is in all other species, then your point about us being created for sex with a girl comes into even sharper focus.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 13, 2014, 12:49:52 PM
Thanks guys. I completely agree with you, thanks for the encouraging words.
"...i'm not making a sacrifice but earning something by giving it up." A quote I put in my signature on my YBR profile.

One week!

The last few days I've shifted my interests away from girls/sex because of the PIED incident the week before. But now I can feel the horniness rising again. I was talking a lot about girls with a friend today, fun times. It also made me crave real girls more, and kinda made me more "cocky". Before that, porn would do all the job as we know.
Man if I only had started this earlier without all that relapsing. I'd be on the top of the world by now.
Anyway, in the morning I had a big urge but I easily overcame it. I feel more social, and I finally start defending myself in situations instead of being a pussy and just laughing things off, as I did before.

Tomorrow, I'm invited over to female friends of mine to have a drink and then go clubbing. One of the girls showed interest in me before by asking for my number. Unfortunately, I was way too drunk later the same night, and she kinda was creeped out by me lol. I wanna try and sparkle her interest again tomorrow. ;)
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: lte on March 13, 2014, 12:55:55 PM
Thanks guys. I completely agree with you, thanks for the encouraging words.
"...i'm not making a sacrifice but earning something by giving it up." A quote I put in my signature on my YBR profile.

One week!

The last few days I've shifted my interests away from girls/sex because of the PIED incident the week before. But now I can feel the horniness rising again. I was talking a lot about girls with a friend today, fun times. It also made me crave real girls more, and kinda made me more "cocky". Before that, porn would do all the job as we know.
Man if I only had started this earlier without all that relapsing. I'd be on the top of the world by now.
Anyway, in the morning I had a big urge but I easily overcame it. I feel more social, and I finally start defending myself in situations instead of being a pussy and just laughing things off, as I did before.

Tomorrow, I'm invited over to female friends of mine to have a drink and then go clubbing. One of the girls showed interest in me before by asking for my number. Unfortunately, I was way too drunk later the same night, and she kinda was creeped out by me lol. I wanna try and sparkle her interest again tomorrow. ;)
Keep walking the walk.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: rainforth13 on March 13, 2014, 09:12:22 PM
Congrats on one week! Proud of you, relish the moment but continue to persevere and know that it's not a race or a numbers game on the amount of days gone without PMOing. We're talking about your life and taking it one day at a time because that's all we're given. Press on!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: lte on March 14, 2014, 12:39:18 AM
Think of it like this, the first week is the hardest.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 15, 2014, 08:35:41 AM
Thanks guys. Your post are really helpful.

So I was out last night. Didn't sparkle that one girls interest, she danced with some other dude that night but honestly I couldn't care less. I am NEVER interested in females who don't show interest too or lose interest. This also keeps me from getting heartbroken.  ::)

My libido/horniness/interest for sex is rising again, and with that the urges arise too. Usually these urges are more physical, but after an unsuccessful night (no girl) the urges are mre mental too. But I know I'm better than that.

I am way more social and there are no awkward moments anymore.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: lte on March 15, 2014, 08:50:13 AM
Thanks guys. Your post are really helpful.

So I was out last night. Didn't sparkle that one girls interest, she danced with some other dude that night but honestly I couldn't care less. I am NEVER interested in females who don't show interest too or lose interest. This also keeps me from getting heartbroken.  ::)

My libido/horniness/interest for sex is rising again, and with that the urges arise too. Usually these urges are more physical, but after an unsuccessful night (no girl) the urges are mre mental too. But I know I'm better than that.

I am way more social and there are no awkward moments anymore.
That's a good strategy for dealing with girls.

Horny won't hurt you. Harness that energy and use it elsewhere.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: rainforth13 on March 15, 2014, 09:40:24 PM
Your awareness is a very good thing! Continue to be aware of triggers and danger zones before they happen knowing that you are or can be vulnerable especially in these early stages.

Quote
I am NEVER interested in females who don't show interest too or lose interest.

Me neither, and you shouldn't be. Feelings should be mutual and equal.

Quote
I am way more social and there are no awkward moments anymore.

Glad your social ability is progressing! Don't worry about awkward moments because it shouldn't matter what other people think. Be yourself and nothing will be awkward for you because it will just be your natural personality shining through!

Keep it up!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: lte on March 15, 2014, 09:46:13 PM
Good advice.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: Chris Jay on March 15, 2014, 10:12:20 PM
10 days congrats!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 16, 2014, 11:56:44 AM
Thanks.

Today I woke up with massive urges and they persisted for the next few hours. Then I found out that I had little red bumps on my dick and I freaked out. The internet tells me that there is no danger, and they were gone a few hours later. I got a little shock and at least the urges vanished. Maybe I got them from dry humping my bed in the morning idk.
In the afternoon I went to the gym. It took no effort at all to get up and go there. I just did it.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 16, 2014, 06:40:36 PM
Argh fuck this shit. I've been struggling with this for almost a year now. Not even the drive to have sex with a real girl couldnt keep me from relapsing. I dont even know why I did it, the urge wasnt even that strong. Fuck I feel like shit I was finally starting out with a decent streak
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 17, 2014, 05:48:06 AM
Ok, time to make some things clear and set some goals: (I'll move this to the original post later)

- Leas procrastination
- less internet. If I wouldn't be at the internet for so long I wouldn't have relapsed.
- meditation, stretching
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: rainforth13 on March 17, 2014, 08:56:44 PM
Don't get down on yourself for relapsing. It happens to the best of us. Sometimes it's one step back and two steps forward, especially when we first start things. I mean how long have you been struggling with this? It's never easy to break something that's been going on for a long time. Getting mad at yourself doesn't do anything but beat yourself up. Realize it's not what you want and learn from it. Continue to move forward and try new things (like you setting goals). Don't prove Einstein's theory of insanity to be true because we already know it is. You can't expect different results if you keep doing the same thing. Urges and temptations are going to happen but prepare yourself for those times. It's easier said than done but you will surely fail with no plan. Working out is a great thing to do so keep that going! Continue to fill your time with productive things, you have to replace the urge. You can't just do away with it and not fill it with something new.

One day at a time! You got this.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: Charlie Marcotte on March 18, 2014, 10:55:58 AM
Don't get too down on yourself for relapses. Try and learn from them, and know why you relapsed. I've been porn free for almost 1.5 years, but I had a rough start to rebooting. I couldn't seem to stop relapsing the first three months I discovered my addiction and my erectile dysfunction. Don't give up after the relapses!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: Alex on March 19, 2014, 03:08:14 PM
I relapsed today man, In my mind I knew that I didn't wanted but i didn't interrupted the autopilot mode so it was my fault and I have to learn from it. I will not beat my self up because there is no point in doing that, of course I feel like shit but beating my self up it's not going to help me. We have to think positive last month i was pmo once every two day now I did it once in 17 days, so im sure you also will find something positive. Now it's time to learn from this mistake and create a better plan. Im in the same boat as you I have ED i couldnt have sex, My grades at school are very bad because I cant focus, My motivation is very low and also my will. But im still here and im not going to fucking quit, it's not over until I WIN. Stay strong my friend you are not alone!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 20, 2014, 07:58:33 AM
Thanks for the support guys. It actually helps me a lot.

I found a method yesterday that made me resist a seemingly inevitable PMO relapse, but this probably only works for me. I was about to type in a porn site, but then I took my phone and had a look at the girl I had this ED experience with. I immediately thought, "do you really want to do this?" and all of my urges vanished. I think that this might not be an optimal method but I was really close to relapsing again.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: rainforth13 on March 20, 2014, 09:29:59 AM
Good job on not relapsing! It truly is tough when our brains get triggered not to go down that path since our brains know a reward is coming so props for overcoming that. Use whatever means necessary as long as it isn't harmful to you in another way. Maybe try to look at that girl when you wake up and at night to be reminded like you were how much you don't want ED. One day at a time!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 21, 2014, 03:11:35 PM
Ah man relapsed again. Looking at the girls pic didn't help.


Things cannot continue to go like this and need to change: I will stop taking my phone to the bathroom. This is the usual recipe for relapsing
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: rainforth13 on March 21, 2014, 07:48:25 PM
It's okay man. Keep moving forward, try to stay positive. It ain't gonna happen over night.

Good choice about the phone! That will help with healing the source of it.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: d2222 on March 23, 2014, 10:42:38 AM
Hey, man. What's important is that your not giving up. Whether it's cigarettes, alcohol, even fucking biting your nails, old habits die hard. One thing that helps me is just going to this forum when I'm feeling vulnerable to a relapse. I go straight here and start reading the updates on other journals, by the time I read others and update or reply to other journals, the urge has passed. It just keeps reminding me over and over again why I'm doing this.

Stay strong!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 24, 2014, 02:41:43 PM
I reverted back to my old habits as visible on my counter. My anxiety is coming back and I hate it.
It is one of my previously forgotten reasons to stop PMOing which siginificantly affects me. I get small panic attacks because of school. I know that it came back because I've been PMOing that often in the last week, it happened before.
At least this is fresh motivation for me to let go of this addiction.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: rainforth13 on March 24, 2014, 11:30:50 PM
Empathy: I have had bad anxiety lately too, mostly from work among other things. I find myself using porn as a way to escape it momentarily but in the end I'm just compounding my own pain because then I get frustrated with myself for pmo-ing. Anxiety mixed with frustration doesn't go well. I was freaking out internally last friday night, and I wasn't doing anything but watching college bball.

You would think that this would fuel me to realize better in future situations but the reality is once triggered I go down the path that my brain knows so well in a hurry as we all do. This is tough because as soon as I am anxious my brain thinks to go to pmo-ing. I have to rewire my brain to something different (healthier hopefully) when I get triggered by stress. This takes time like d2222 said and it isn't easy but with consistent rewiring our brains will not resort to pmo-ing naturally.

Main thing is to not get down on yourself for relapsing, otherwise you're spiraling downwards in a nasty cycle. Break free of the cycle by not getting down on yourself and look to make the most of the rest of your current day as well as tomorrow better. When tomorrow gets here, make it better than the day before. One day at a time, one hour at a time. You got this!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 25, 2014, 12:24:36 PM
Thanks man, I agree. I can really feel the downspiraling to this nasty cycle, I had massive mood swings today and I was absolutely feeling like shit because of school. I didn't talk to my friends. I've had a few relapses like this and I know that this is leading to these feelings.

Now this is gonna be more like a note to myself:
I finally realized that something actually needs to change. I'm having a 16-page long journal on YBR I started about 1 year ago, with my longest streak being about 18 days.
As I described there, my life changed drastically to the positive side, thanks to the positive mood of these forums. They gave me the drive not to just break free from PMO but to better myself in all aspects. Lately I've noticed that I kind of stopped putting that much effort into bettering myself, I started becoming content with the way I am and settling for it, which is bad.
My drive for bettering myself suddenly sparkled again, yesterday. I got myself "Think and grow rich" and started reading it. I also finally want to get into meditation and various other things. I just need to step out of my comfort zone and not be afraid of change.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on March 26, 2014, 12:56:01 PM
Fuck my life. I've been trying to break free from this addiction for almost a year now and I still don't manage to go even 3 days. Even half a year ago I managed to go at least a week. I've experienced ED when losing my virginity and I still cannot get myself to stop. It only seems to get worse and worse.
All my principles, methods and reasons just vanish every time I relapse.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: rainforth13 on March 26, 2014, 09:25:50 PM
Man, I hear you! I know relapsing can really knock the wind right out of you as it has me so many times before. We're in a fight. (Cue heroic music.) We can choose to get back up or stay down. Getting back up will always say more about a person. Adversity, pain, and difficult times change and grow us, not when everything is going smoothly. Sometimes our selfish nature tells us otherwise because we think things need to go a certain way, our way, but we can't change the way things are, we can only change ourselves.

Believe it or not, I'm not the only one to ever say these things:

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. -Nelson Mandela

Get up and keep going! Work out difficult situation, work through the pain and disappointment, quit feeling sorry for yourself or being hard on yourself when you relapse. It happens. To all of us. And stop relating your present situation to how you've done in the past too. Your current situation is not that one, I bet you didn't focus on comparing a past situation when you went 18 days that one time. All you can do is in the here and now so focus on that. Comparing will only make you feel worse anyway. All you got is here and now so do something about it!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on April 04, 2014, 03:10:44 PM
It's the time again where school really fucks with my life. The last three days I've been a different person, I was passive aggressive all day long, didn't respond to any of my friends other than nodding, maybe throughout the day my mood got better and I laughed and talked a bit with them, but basically I was showing my coldest side I possibly can. The (unjustified) reason behind this is that I've failed one important exam after another and if I do not manage to pass them next week, I'll have to repeat 2 semesters and basically waste one year of my life, not because of actually being too dumb for my school, but because of (lets call them) organisatory issues. But this is a different story.

I said "unjustified" reason, because after relapsing in the shower today (I broke my promise of taking my phone with me), I noticed, that all my life, I was wallowing in self pity ever since I can remember. When I was about 12 years old, I remember that everytime something bad happened I used to say, "why me?". Friends in school laughed at me then. I rarely got angry at something, only upset. On top of that I am not a person to enjoy a lot of attention and being in the center all the time, which leads to self pity even more.

I can't think of a single person to act like me when something bad happens. And there are bad things happening in life quite regularely. Some people seem to treat me like a "big baby", what makes me feel extremely immature. How often did I say to myself, "man, now I feel like an edgy teenager who's in puberty".

This led me to thinking that this may be the cause of my relapses and other uncomfortable situations in my life. I am 100% sure that this behaviour resulted in making excuses all the time. Boo hoo, I cannot go to the gym, boo hoo, I've got soo much school work to do. Look at me everybody, I am such a sad individual, everyone is so happy and all the bad things happen to me. Boo fucking hoo.
Fuck my life. I've been trying to break free from this addiction [...] and I still cannot get myself to stop. It only seems to get worse and worse. All my principles, methods and reasons just vanish every time I relapse.
Look at my previous posts here, and also at the posts on my journal on YBR, they're completely full of self pity. There is a line up to which you can state your problems, but in my mind and sometimes on these forums, I am clearly crossing it.
Argh fuck this shit. Not even the drive to have sex with a real girl couldnt keep me from relapsing. [...] Fuck I feel like shit I was finally starting out with a decent streak

Note that I am not a shut-in, antisocial guy (although I was on the way to become one). Over the last 1-2 years I improved my life in all the aspects I could, I have a lot of friends and learned a ton of social skills. This just seems to be a mindset that is deeply rooted in my brain.

I'm going to actively prevent myself from such thoughts now, also I'll be researching a lot on the internet to stop doing this. Thanks for reading if you managed to do it all the way until here. Maybe someone could recommend me a book on this subject?
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on April 10, 2014, 02:59:51 PM
Slowly getting into it..

Past week or two were really rough because of school. But I managed to pass my hardest exams and now it's almost certain that this is gonna be my last ever year in school.

Also I rarely feel self-pity anymore because I realized what my problem was, and everything is going uphill in general. Finally.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: fcjl8 on April 11, 2014, 01:00:40 PM
happy to read your posts young man! I think it is so great that at your age with so much ahead of you that you are dealing with this addiction! Just superb!!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on April 13, 2014, 11:41:56 AM
Thanks!

I was drunk and I relapsed, and PMOd once more on the next day. But I made it to 5 days this time, I'm happy.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: Francois De Sade on April 17, 2014, 10:14:16 AM
Keep going and stay strong! We are all in this together! Together we can make it :)
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: Mart71 on April 17, 2014, 10:18:09 AM
happy to read your posts young man! I think it is so great that at your age with so much ahead of you that you are dealing with this addiction! Just superb!!

Indeed. Take it from us guys who have been using for decades: even though it feels hard right now, you younger guys can be happy that you learned about this now and you can make a change early in your lifes. I am almost jealous, since I lost decades of what could have been a good life, wasting it with PMO.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: Charlie Marcotte on April 17, 2014, 11:14:38 AM
happy to read your posts young man! I think it is so great that at your age with so much ahead of you that you are dealing with this addiction! Just superb!!

Indeed. Take it from us guys who have been using for decades: even though it feels hard right now, you younger guys can be happy that you learned about this now and you can make a change early in your lifes. I am almost jealous, since I lost decades of what could have been a good life, wasting it with PMO.

Great thoughts and that is nice to hear.

Scary thing is, when I quit porn at the age of 21, I had already been using for approximately a decade. It's so readily available now!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on April 20, 2014, 08:25:24 AM
I'll try out the no-counter approach now.
Seeing how many days I'm off porn seems to have an influence on me.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on April 21, 2014, 10:22:24 AM
Slight trigger warning

I think that rewiring could take me way longer than I previously thought.
I just relapsed and I realized that I mostly only get off because of the "perfect scene", and the novelty of porn.
I remember 1-2 years ago, when I was visiting my grandma. A few times my parents and granddad used to leave to go shopping, and my grandma, ill, was lying on the bed in another room while I was on the laptop PMOing as fast as I could. These were my most extreme dopamine rushes, coupled with the adrenaline/risk of someone coming into the room every second.

This does not translate into real life and makes me worry of how long this process could really take. On top of that my penis needs to recover from all the deathgrip masturbation too, as I didn't feel anything when I had sex the first time.

Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: Charlie Marcotte on April 21, 2014, 12:38:52 PM
Slight trigger warning

I think that rewiring could take me way longer than I previously thought.
I just relapsed and I realized that I mostly only get off because of the "perfect scene", and the novelty of porn.
I remember 1-2 years ago, when I was visiting my grandma. A few times my parents and granddad used to leave to go shopping, and my grandma, ill, was lying on the bed in another room while I was on the laptop PMOing as fast as I could. These were my most extreme dopamine rushes, coupled with the adrenaline/risk of someone coming into the room every second.

This does not translate into real life and makes me worry of how long this process could really take. On top of that my penis needs to recover from all the deathgrip masturbation too, as I didn't feel anything when I had sex the first time.

Don't get discouraged about the length of the reboot...I've been going for awhile now. Just make it a lifestyle change. It will start to sink in.

Us longrebooters do take more time, but get much much more out of ours reboots (because we were in so deep).

Keep going strong friend!
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on April 24, 2014, 12:54:14 PM
Thanks a lot man!

Right now I'm going strong, no urges, and I beat my last urge by dropping on the floor and doing push ups.
In the past 1-2 days I've been lusting a lot after real girls instead. Like going crazy in my mind when I see a beautiful girl. And there are tons of them. My friends think exactly the same as me. Funny.

I've just recently had a few deeper thoughts about rewiring. I don't have a girlfriend and do not plan to have a long relationship anytime soon. Doesn't mean I'm bad with girls, it's more like the opposite of that. I mostly just make out with girls in clubs. Other than that, I sometimes hang out with girls for about 10mins in school but that's it.
I wonder how important it is to slowly rewire with real girls etc.
Title: Re: 19 years old - horribly addicted - PIED
Post by: no94 on May 07, 2014, 09:05:00 AM
Quick update: I had a few relapses over the weeks, but not that many as when I had the counter. I feel way better without it, kind of liberated.

I've rarely been to the forums but reading them sparkles my interest and reminds me of what I am actually doing here.

I'm not sacrificing porn but rather giving it up for a better life.