Reboot Nation

Journals => Ages 30-39 => Topic started by: green_grass on August 05, 2019, 02:44:01 PM

Title: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 05, 2019, 02:44:01 PM
I'm 33.

I've been a heavy masturbator since my teenage.

Porn has been on and off.  but since 8-10 years I'm a regular porn addict but not of porn sites, but mostly of movies, netflix and youtube.

I have only once been in a relationship for a brief interval. I have only experienced a couple of kisses but a virgin.

I am suffering from PIED since long long years.  I did my tests but all are okay. I didn't know about PIED. Since I don't have girlfriend I kept using porn to valide my manhood. Even with porn its not very hard or for long time.

My penis is now very small permanently and its very difficult to pee. I'm fucked up physically.


I will now be exercising daily, get more clients and try to be more social.

I'm committing to a porn free life and will update the thread daily.



Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: malando on August 06, 2019, 01:45:02 AM
Good luck, GG. We are here to support you.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 06, 2019, 02:02:11 PM
Thank you melando.

First day was good.

Was busy with work.

Now I'm going to bed.

Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: Lero on August 06, 2019, 03:23:46 PM
Welcome, man. This is the perfect place to be. It's the best forum for recovering porn addicts. The more, the better. The more are against porn, the less power it will have.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 09, 2019, 01:08:47 AM
Thanks for your support.

I'm on the 5th day today.

I need to concentrate on imp things.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: mranoym31 on August 09, 2019, 01:54:29 AM
Keep your head up! Stay strong.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 10, 2019, 04:59:10 AM
 Thank you guys for all your support
 
I'm experiencing pain in my back

I'm trying to stay relax but there are some stressful issues  which needs to be dealt with.
 .
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: man_in_30s_rebootingnow on August 10, 2019, 11:15:47 AM
Good luck to your endeavour ! i am 34 so I can relate to your situation.

Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 12, 2019, 02:34:14 PM
Thank you man_in30s.

I will be 34th this 5th November. And if I continue my streak, I will be  90 days + on my birthday.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: stepbystep on August 12, 2019, 09:57:47 PM
Great job, keep going!
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 13, 2019, 10:39:45 AM
Thank you.

I have decided to implement some rules from today. They're very simple but something important.

1. No Internet after 10 pm
2. Sleep by 11 / Get Up by 5 am.
3. Exercise in the morning - even a walk can count as exercise as of now

These are very simple and inter-related habits.

As for Rewards, I will defintely get better at my work and increase my income.


I will journal as to how I'm working on these simple things from tomorrow.

Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 14, 2019, 03:06:12 PM
I go back to zero.

I was supposed to watch Chelsea liverpool match but ended up watching adult web series.

But it was not a binge.

I will strictly follow my routine. No cheat days. Any form of digital stimulation is poison.

Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: Pdub on August 14, 2019, 08:49:12 PM
Do you know what your triggers are?

For me it is being angry, lonely, or bored.  I had to learn to recognize my triggers before I could walk the path for longer than a week.  Knowing your triggers is good.  Making a plan or having something you do to snap out of it is good too.

Keep at it green_grass.  You can do this man! I believe in you.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 16, 2019, 10:42:27 AM
Thank you.

I think I have those triggers too- loneliness, boredom, insomnia.


I'm doing good. Trying my best to be focused at work and sleep well.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: Lero on August 16, 2019, 10:59:41 AM
Good discussion about triggers. In my case, when my mental state is good, my trigger is the desire for the pleasure brought by the dopamine release. When my mental state is bad: Sexual frustration (no sex life), anxiety, stress, boredom, maybe really in this order. When my mental state is bad I'm more affected by those, I pay attention to them more. I handle them better when my mental state is good. But, no matter what's going on, there is always something that reminds me of porn  >:(

Update: I forgot to say alcohol. I've relapsed a lot because of drinking.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 16, 2019, 01:59:17 PM
Good discussion about triggers. In my case, when my mental state is good, my trigger is the desire for the pleasure brought by the dopamine release. When my mental state is bad: Sexual frustration (no sex life), anxiety, stress, boredom, maybe really in this order. When my mental state is bad I'm more affected by those, I pay attention to them more. I handle them better when my mental state is good. But, no matter what's going on, there is always something that reminds me of porn  >:(

Update: I forgot to say alcohol. I've relapsed a lot because of drinking.

Yes. This is a good discussion. Thanks for stopping by.

I feel my triggers include insecurity too. Like when I feel I would never be able to touch a woman or get married or discuss something of that sort, the noise in my backyard of my consciousness trigger me to indulge in it.

Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: Lero on August 16, 2019, 02:13:38 PM
I feel my triggers include insecurity too. Like when I feel I would never be able to touch a woman or get married or discuss something of that sort, the noise in my backyard of my consciousness trigger me to indulge in it.

Same.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 17, 2019, 11:48:14 PM
I find it difficult to focus for long.  Short attention span, probably years of addiction has made us self-pleasure monkeys. 
The road is difficult and it need lot of discipline. But what sucks is not knowing whether I will get result. But then do I have other option?



Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: Lero on August 18, 2019, 03:52:34 AM
I find it difficult to focus for long.  Short attention span, probably years of addiction has made us self-pleasure monkeys. 
The road is difficult and it need lot of discipline. But what sucks is not knowing whether I will get result. But then do I have other option?

Same for me. I have shit attention span and decision making.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 21, 2019, 06:02:23 PM
Epic fail today.

Woke up in the middle of the night, dont know what led me to yt and I end up being a failure.

Start from day 1 again.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on August 21, 2019, 06:29:42 PM
No device in my bedroom.

This will gonna be rule till so hit 90 days.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: Lero on August 22, 2019, 02:31:27 AM
No device in my bedroom.

This will gonna be rule till so hit 90 days.

Very good idea. Really.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on September 02, 2019, 01:21:20 AM
I failed 2 days back


This is my day 2.

Will join nofap September challenge
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on September 09, 2019, 01:51:08 PM
I'm  doing good on sobriety front.

I'm focusing on my work and life.

I need to continue the good thing.

I think I completed 7 days and this is the time I need to be more conscious  as my habits will want to kick in.

And thoughts of no gf, wife will depress me. But I have to defeat these thoughts and come out triumph.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: Free-man on September 09, 2019, 03:38:02 PM
Exactly:
The key is focus in your life.
Go for it!
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on September 10, 2019, 03:56:16 PM
Thank you. But I just let myself and everyone down.

I was awake for no reason and went to youtube.

I can't even slack for a day without discipline.

Anyway 8+ days streak  that was. I dont think 10 minutes would put everything down the drain  but I cant feed my dopamine now.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: Lero on September 10, 2019, 03:59:21 PM
Thank you. But I just let myself and everyone down.

I was awake for no reason and went to youtube.

I can't even slack for a day without discipline.

Anyway 8+ days streak  that was. I dont think 10 minutes would put everything down the drain  but I cant feed my dopamine now.

That's right, man. 10 minutes of PMO are not the end of the world. Edging for hours, binging PMO, those are more serious. I'm in the same boat. Anytime I let my guard down a little bit (discipline), I am hit by a brick.
Title: Re: Grass Is Greener On The Other Side
Post by: green_grass on September 19, 2019, 02:13:23 PM
I failed to close another great day.

I'm making overall progress and busy however self discipline is still not 70 percent and that's why I'm keep.faoling.