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Journals => Ages 20-29 => Topic started by: Do or die on June 02, 2019, 09:12:50 AM

Title: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 02, 2019, 09:12:50 AM
Started at 7 pm at June 2
I checked my fapping frequency today. And its 16 times a month. Its horrible .really horrible. And from now i really need a strong plan to recover mentally as well as physically.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 02, 2019, 09:37:02 AM
This is a good step. You now know how many times you PMO in a month. Small steps still move you forward. You don't have to take big steps if you can't right now. A better approach now is to reduce the number of PMO. It's 16 a month, next month try to have fewer. Your brain will get used to less PMO. Less PMO sessions means less damage.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 02, 2019, 09:52:44 AM
By the way, I forgot to say this: I used to PMO between 20 and 30 times a month. So 16 is better than me. Don't be hard on yourself. Reduce the number.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 05, 2019, 01:56:01 PM
Relapsed again.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 05, 2019, 06:19:11 PM
Have you started to work out a plan? It's been helpful for me to think through the benefits I get from PMO (escaping from negative emotions) and then to find healthier ways to get similar benefits (meditation, watching comedy shows). Dig deep and think about why you relapse and then start to find ways to meet that need in a healthier way.

One of the things I've started to notice in the last few months is that my relapses start happening way before I realize they're happening. I have started to learn more about my early triggers, like feeling frustrated or stuck in life, which happens way before I start having sexual fantasies that lead me to PMO. If I can catch myself when I'm having a few sexual thoughts here and there, it's way easier to correct myself than when I wait for later triggers. Once I start googling stuff, I've already lost.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 06, 2019, 01:46:26 AM
Thanks for reply.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 06, 2019, 01:47:28 AM
Day 1
Want to really change myself.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 06, 2019, 05:57:55 AM
Do you actually have a plan that you've been following? If not, you really need to put a plan on paper and start doing it. Like this, you will keep relapsing regularly until you burn yourself out. I know because I'm coming from there. Any little success is worth noticing. Like this, you will understand that you move forward and make steps toward the recovery. Small steps still move you forward. Even crawling moves you forward. Slow progress is still progress. Even if we don't make big progress, it's not like we don't progress at all. Take me, for example. By following the plan I've advanced a little bit. It's been only 19 days since I've started this new attempt and, of course, it's been too little time to actually be completely healed. It won't work that fast. It takes some months, I guess. Those 19 days have been hectic for me. I've binged 3 times. I've PMO-ed about 20 times. It looks like a fail, right? But it's not a fail because I've learned new things. I've identified triggers and bad habits. I've seen mistakes that I will try not to make them again. It's a small progress but progress is progress at the end of the day. I will get better and learn more with time until I have all the tools to beat this. But you need a plan. You don't learn how to run a marathon without learning how to run the first mile. You get tired after the first mile so you consider the marathon a fail? How it could be a fail if you are not prepared yet? If you haven't completed the plan until the end? Willpower could carry you only a little. Do you actually think that by saying: "I will beat this, I will fight the urges" etc. you could actually do it? You need more than that. This forum, Youtube and other websites are full of advice and strategies. Read them and apply them.   
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: LeanAndBop on June 06, 2019, 09:59:10 AM
Started at 7 pm at June 2
I checked my fapping frequency today. And its 16 times a month. Its horrible .really horrible. And from now i really need a strong plan to recover mentally as well as physically.

It could be aaa looot worse! I'm in a similar position. My plan at the moment is to seek extra support. But it is hard to know what to do, let alone put it into practice. When I relapsed today I got a real sense that I am wasting my life. I could die today... PMO makes me miserable.
Keep experimenting until you find the system that works, I think seems rational.
Wishing you all the best.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 09, 2019, 12:55:12 AM
Do you actually have a plan that you've been following? If not, you really need to put a plan on paper and start doing it. Like this, you will keep relapsing regularly until you burn yourself out. I know because I'm coming from there. Any little success is worth noticing. Like this, you will understand that you move forward and make steps toward the recovery. Small steps still move you forward. Even crawling moves you forward. Slow progress is still progress. Even if we don't make big progress, it's not like we don't progress at all. Take me, for example. By following the plan I've advanced a little bit. It's been only 19 days since I've started this new attempt and, of course, it's been too little time to actually be completely healed. It won't work that fast. It takes some months, I guess. Those 19 days have been hectic for me. I've binged 3 times. I've PMO-ed about 20 times. It looks like a fail, right? But it's not a fail because I've learned new things. I've identified triggers and bad habits. I've seen mistakes that I will try not to make them again. It's a small progress but progress is progress at the end of the day. I will get better and learn more with time until I have all the tools to beat this. But you need a plan. You don't learn how to run a marathon without learning how to run the first mile. You get tired after the first mile so you consider the marathon a fail? How it could be a fail if you are not prepared yet? If you haven't completed the plan until the end? Willpower could carry you only a little. Do you actually think that by saying: "I will beat this, I will fight the urges" etc. you could actually do it? You need more than that. This forum, Youtube and other websites are full of advice and strategies. Read them and apply them.
ty
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 09, 2019, 12:55:35 AM
Started at 7 pm at June 2
I checked my fapping frequency today. And its 16 times a month. Its horrible .really horrible. And from now i really need a strong plan to recover mentally as well as physically.

It could be aaa looot worse! I'm in a similar position. My plan at the moment is to seek extra support. But it is hard to know what to do, let alone put it into practice. When I relapsed today I got a real sense that I am wasting my life. I could die today... PMO makes me miserable.
Keep experimenting until you find the system that works, I think seems rational.
Wishing you all the best.
ty
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 09, 2019, 06:19:17 PM
Several years ago when I first started my recovery, someone explained to me that there's a difference between wishing for something and actually desiring it. When we wish, it never leaves our thoughts. When we desire something, we actually get to work and make it happen.

Let me just say that I spent a lot of time wishing I could kick this habit without actually doing specific things to hold myself accountable and make progress. It took a long time, but I eventually started to realize that I didn't really want to give up porn and that I was quietly trying to hold onto it still. When I realized that, then I could start to deal with the part of me that didn't want to give it up. I made a plan, kept track of when and why I was slipping up, and learned from what was going wrong. Like the other guys said, willpower won't do it (because, at least in the early days, a big part of you won't want to quit, so you'll have to have a plan to deal with that addicted part of you).

Just keep working and learning. Progress is possible. I'm learning that now more than ever before.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 09, 2019, 10:21:40 PM
Relapsed 2 times @ 9 and 10 june
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 10, 2019, 12:25:43 AM
Started From 10 am today
Plan:
90 days planning
Day 0 : 10 june 2019
Day 1: 11 june 2019
Day 90 at 11 September
With 5 years of relapsing experience going start again with faith . with confidence on myself
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on June 10, 2019, 02:28:41 AM
What is it that made you relapse? What are you going to change this time to make this reboot successful? And maybe it's more motivating to go step by step in terms of number of days? Start with small steps...

Try to do something different and eliminate the obstacles that made you relapse lately to get the result you want, all the best on your journey!  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 11, 2019, 01:32:50 PM
Relapsed again
But i less frequently relapsed this time. In past i relapsed three times a day. Now i relapsing one time a day.
Relapse is an indicate that i am addictive . so first day is very hard for me. From now 12 june is my first day. Started at dot 12 AM.
I always remember that how badly i addicted and what i lossed and missed because of this addiction. Today is first day a very important day for me. Started meditation from today. It can help me. Reading causes of this addiction daily.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: LeanAndBop on June 11, 2019, 02:34:32 PM
Relapsed again
But i less frequently relapsed this time. In past i relapsed three times a day. Now i relapsing one time a day.
Relapse is an indicate that i am addictive . so first day is very hard for me. From now 12 june is my first day. Started at dot 12 AM.
I always remember that how badly i addicted and what i lossed and missed because of this addiction. Today is first day a very important day for me. Started meditation from today. It can help me. Reading causes of this addiction daily.

Hey sorry you relapsed. It is tough. I relapsed twice today. But not three times so there's a positive! You're seeing the positive and believe you are making progress so that's sounds good.

You're not alone!

I just mediated and feel calmer. Lots of people say it has helped. It sounds like you are in a good mindset!

Wishing you all the best. You can do it!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 14, 2019, 12:03:03 AM
Thanks
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 14, 2019, 12:06:18 AM
Day 2 at 14 june
Nightfall today. I think 6 years addiction is not going to be fully cured in 30 or 90 days. I think it take more longer. So i am prepared for reboot time.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 14, 2019, 06:50:46 PM
Day 2 at 14 june
Nightfall today. I think 6 years addiction is not going to be fully cured in 30 or 90 days. I think it take more longer. So i am prepared for reboot time.

That's good! This definitely isn't a quick fix. It's a lifestyle change, and it often involves fixing a lot more about our lives than just PMO.

Congrats on another day, and here's to succeeding for one more!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 16, 2019, 01:04:53 AM
Day 4 at 16 june
Less headache today. Focusing on work again. Urges are very strong but not like as day 1. Now using the knowledge i have from past relapse. Going to start a fight again. Day 4 is a biggest success for me.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on June 16, 2019, 05:57:48 AM
Well done! Keep going day by day, 4 days is a good start already!  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 16, 2019, 10:48:41 AM
Well done! Keep going day by day, 4 days is a good start already!  :)
thanks
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 16, 2019, 01:52:11 PM
Relapsed....i had a reason to over my data so i fapped.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 17, 2019, 03:22:48 AM
Day 1 At 17th june
Feeling depressed. Writing this journal at afternoon i am out off home now to resist the urges. I can do it. Need to only complete the day 1 successfully
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 17, 2019, 04:44:48 AM
Sometimes, when things don't go well, it's normal to feel down. It sucks but, at the end of the day, it's natural. But, you must not allow yourself to go deeper than that and feel super depressed and miserable. A mind in this state is a great facilitator for PMO going out of control. Allow yourself to feel down today but tomorrow start again.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 17, 2019, 10:31:03 AM
Sometimes, when things don't go well, it's normal to feel down. It sucks but, at the end of the day, it's natural. But, you must not allow yourself to go deeper than that and feel super depressed and miserable. A mind in this state is a great facilitator for PMO going out of control. Allow yourself to feel down today but tomorrow start again.
Thanks
Day 1
Completed successfully. Did meditation. Need to be positive after relapse.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 17, 2019, 07:15:12 PM
Thanks
Day 1
Completed successfully. Did meditation. Need to be positive after relapse.

Definitely, my relapses always start with feeling depressed about life. It makes sense to feel sad after a relapse, but it's important to find better ways to deal with that sadness. Porn hides our pain,  but it doesn't fix it.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 18, 2019, 01:25:50 PM
Yes

Relapsed again .
I think it never stops.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 18, 2019, 05:58:37 PM
This might be a tough question right now, but do you want to quit? Like really want to?

For years and years, I told myself that I wanted to quit, but I also knew that there was a side of me that didn't really want to. As soon as I picked myself up from a relapse, I already had a list of things I would look up and watch the next time the urges hit. I told myself that I wanted to quit, but that couldn't be true if I also had a plan for my next relapse.

There's a part of each of us that really likes porn and wants it. It wasn't until recently that I started to realize that I was never going to quit until I really, truly wanted a life without porn more than I wanted to comfort and pleasure of porn. Porn is fun and it feels good, so it makes sense that our brains and bodies will always pull us in that direction.

What can you see in the future that is better than porn? What will you lose if you continue a cycle of relapsing? I think it's much harder to stop if all you're doing is stopping. If you're working toward something better, though, then you have a motivation and a reason to keep going.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 18, 2019, 11:53:02 PM
You are right. We need a thing that is more pleasures than porn. Without that we can't able to quite quickly
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 18, 2019, 11:58:10 PM
Day 1 at june 19
A part of me want to quite but the other part loves the porn most. And every time i relapse. I have all knowledge about harms of porn addiction . then also i relapse. I made plans then also i relapse. It means we all here first need to do a unbreakable commitment and need to do daily meditation on what life you get by leaving this. The life you get by leaving this addiction is more pleasurable than this addiction.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 19, 2019, 03:59:53 AM
Blue Heron is spot on. If I had to make a list for a recovery plan, one of the numbers would be: "Make yourself ready", which means you need to be 100% ready to quit. This addiction will always work in this way: A part of you wants to quit but another doesn't and there is a battle between them. Usually the part that likes the pleasure and/or self-medication aspect of PMO, wins. It might not be actually that simple to have not even 1% in you that doesn't want to abandon P. This is something we have to figure out how to do it but it's a very important step. The brain knows how to make you feel you will lose something, like a very close friend. First time when I told myself: "Okay, this is it, starting tomorrow I will get lost of PMO forever", I felt such sadness, it was unbelievable. "Why the fuck do I feel so sad about it? I'm supposed to be happy. I will be quitting something toxic."
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 19, 2019, 07:32:38 AM
Relapsed again
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 19, 2019, 08:05:09 AM
It's seems like things are out of control. You've been relapsing more lately. Could you identify a reason why?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 19, 2019, 08:21:26 AM
It's seems like things are out of control. You've been relapsing more lately. Could you identify a reason why?
Yes. In this days i am on holiday. No all day work . so have a big free time. And when i am alone i am relapsing.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 19, 2019, 08:23:38 AM
Day 1
Started at  6 pm. From now my day ends at 6 pm. So started to quite again. More times i relapsed this days. So no confidence. No motivation. Just have a foggy head with total negativity
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 19, 2019, 08:35:11 AM
Yes. In this days i am on holiday. No all day work . so have a big free time. And when i am alone i am relapsing.

If you have too much free time, you have to find something to do that keeps you away from PMO-ing.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 19, 2019, 12:51:00 PM
Again relapsed.
Please help me. From 1 month I am repeatedly relapsing
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 19, 2019, 04:42:50 PM
I think you have already found some of your answers. You're relapsing more because you have less to do and you are spending more time alone.

What can you do to stay busier and spend more time around other people? I don't really like going out or being people that much, but it's a matter of survival if it means staying away from porn. Even if it seems hard, you have to be deliberate about filling your day with good activities. If you leave room in your day for porn, it will always take control.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 20, 2019, 04:22:35 PM
Day 2 at june 21
Completed day 1,successfully.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 20, 2019, 05:19:23 PM
Good work! Keep doing what you need to do to make it through tomorrow. You can do one more day no problem
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 21, 2019, 12:07:43 AM
Thanks for support
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 21, 2019, 06:55:57 PM
That's what this forum is all about. If we try to do this alone, we're way more likely to fail.

Keep going!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 25, 2019, 08:20:32 AM
I think you have already found some of your answers. You're relapsing more because you have less to do and you are spending more time alone.

What can you do to stay busier and spend more time around other people? I don't really like going out or being people that much, but it's a matter of survival if it means staying away from porn. Even if it seems hard, you have to be deliberate about filling your day with good activities. If you leave room in your day for porn, it will always take control.

Spending time alone is definitely a problem. I've experienced that. Also, when you don't find things to do that you can enjoy, you are more likely to feel low, deprived of "joy" if you understand what I mean, and look for "ways" to "elevate" yourself and bring some "joy" to your moment, and P is right there. P is the fake pleasure that promises to make you feel good and forget about everything.

There is the other side of the coin too: P numbs your dopamine receptors and could make you not enjoy other things too much. You might want to lie down all day without doing nothing. That's why is very necessary to stay away from P and do those other things and try to enjoy them even if you don't right now. You have to push through it until you get used to it. While some people might enjoy doing things alone, majority of people need to spend time with others and find activities with them (that's me - I like to do some things by myself but I get bored eventually).

Not less important is investing your energy in good things, because PMO consumes your energy and, at the end of the day, it's also comes down to what you choose to invest your energy in. You know that investing this energy in P doesn't leave you energy for other things that's why you don't want to do anything anymore after PMO. I just want to sleep after that. When I was in high school, I didn't know that I shouldn't have PMO-ed first thing in the morning. I would do it a few times before leaving for high school so I went to classes feeling already tired, dragging my feet and stuff. I had thrown away a part of my energy with a "second of pleasure".
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 30, 2019, 10:45:35 AM
Day 11 with new success.
Enjoying this success and trying to keep it continue
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on June 30, 2019, 12:29:20 PM
Day 11 with new success.
Enjoying this success and trying to keep it continue

Wow, man! 11 days! Come on, this is more progress than before! What did help you this time? Keep doing this to help you further. Never lose good streaks. It's a hustle to get them back. If you have good streak, just keep going.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on June 30, 2019, 12:43:25 PM
Day 11 with new success.
Enjoying this success and trying to keep it continue

Wow, man! 11 days! Come on, this is more progress than before! What did help you this time? Keep doing this to help you further. Never lose good streaks. It's a hustle to get them back. If you have good streak, just keep going.
Thanks bro
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on June 30, 2019, 12:52:17 PM
Day 11 with new success.
Enjoying this success and trying to keep it continue

Congrats, that's a big success!  :)

Now that you went 11 days clean, you will make it to 12 days and so on... all the best for you!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Mrblueberry on June 30, 2019, 04:01:26 PM
Nice bro 11 days!! We on similar streaks, i am on 10 days today. Let's keep going man, today i had a though day but i persisted!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: BlueHeronFan on June 30, 2019, 06:41:56 PM
Way to be, man! That's good progress. Now just keep doing what you're doing for one more day. (And then one more)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 01, 2019, 12:17:21 AM
Nice bro 11 days!! We on similar streaks, i am on 10 days today. Let's keep going man, today i had a though day but i persisted!
Yes bro
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 01, 2019, 12:22:41 AM
Day 12
1st July 2019
Its a big success. Hudge success for me.
What helped me??
1. Regular exercise
2. Regular Meditation on how porn effected my life and i need to get it back, and how i can achieve it.
3. Being busy all the time.
4. Trying new things to enjoy.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Thank you for all that you do for me on July 01, 2019, 04:56:18 AM
Hope your day is going well. You are strong and I believe in you. Go ahead and do your best! By being who you are, you’re making an impact on the world by first trying to change yourself  :) . Never stop dreaming, fella. Keep doing what you’re doing
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 01, 2019, 09:59:05 PM
relapsed at night. Am not able to sleep till i pmo'd. So relapse happened .
Day 1 at july 2
New reboot with another new challenge.
Prepare your urges well. If you know your urges and trigger it make easy to achieve
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 01, 2019, 11:41:43 PM
Relapsed at july 2 also.
Badly going through the hell.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 01, 2019, 11:54:19 PM
Day 0 : relapsed at 10 am
Goal: to not relapse from now. To aware about urges.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 02, 2019, 12:36:08 AM
Today's withdrawals:
Can't able to sleep.
Feeling tired.
Not able to focus on study.
Want more porn .
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 02, 2019, 01:41:31 AM
Relapsed again.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 02, 2019, 01:52:34 AM
At 12 pm i relapsed again
So i starting new reboot from 12 pm.
Reality is horrible for me. Relapsed three times in two days. So badly wasted 3 years of my life. Getting bored by starting reboot again and again. I need a final reboot. Don't want to get back but i am pmoing . why i don't know properly.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Thank you for all that you do for me on July 02, 2019, 04:21:36 AM
Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little a time, not all at once. My dear, you are smart, talented, cherished, important, special, worthy and loved. Don't allow your own thought to tell you otherwise. I know you're sad, so i won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, i advice you to simply have a day. Stay alive. Feed yourself well. Wear comfortable clothes and don't give up on yourself jsut yet. It'll get better.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 02, 2019, 09:58:28 AM
Not relapsed after 12 pm. Now night urges is main devil.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 02, 2019, 11:53:32 AM
Yes completed day 0 with no relapse at night. Now going to complete day 1 tomorrow.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 03, 2019, 02:41:16 AM
Day 1 at 3 july 2019
Completed day 0 . started day 1.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 04, 2019, 09:52:37 AM
Day 2
Day 2 is completed successfully. This addictiveness is biggest mistake of my life. From today i will always keep this in mind. But i started to reboot now it means my future is bright.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on July 04, 2019, 12:31:51 PM
It's not your mistake, you didn't chose to be addicted! Just think positive and look at the perspective on a life without porn, you can do it, step by step!  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 04, 2019, 03:29:33 PM
It's not your mistake, you didn't chose to be addicted! Just think positive and look at the perspective on a life without porn, you can do it, step by step!  :)

I second to this. Even though it's theoretically your choice to watch P everyday, you don't really realize what's going on. For a while or for a long time you don't think this is wrong. I mean, even if I had known from the beginning about the harms of P, I would've probably still fucked with it. You never know how addiction feels until you are in the middle of it. You think you will control it, you will do it differently than others, you will not do it everyday etc. and then you are here. I mean, I'm not saying literally everybody is like this, but some are. And none of us knew for a long time the true face of P anyway. It's better not to be hard on ourselves like that and think like: "Oh, my God! I can't believe I did this to myself. I've made a big mistake! It was my choice to PMO!" The past is past. It is what it is. We have to do what we have to do from now on.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 05, 2019, 12:00:40 AM
Thanks lero
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 05, 2019, 12:01:24 AM
It's not your mistake, you didn't chose to be addicted! Just think positive and look at the perspective on a life without porn, you can do it, step by step!  :)
Yes you are right. Thanks for motivation.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 05, 2019, 12:04:59 AM
Day 3 at july 5
Had sex dreams but no nightfall. Completed day 2. This time i continued with reboot flow earlier as compared to past relapses and reboot. So its a good moment.
As lero said we are not in control or we can't remember the causes of porn when we are seeing it. So for this i suggest meditation to all of you here.
Do daily meditation on why you want to leave this addiction.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on July 05, 2019, 12:03:31 PM
Good start again, set your last streak as a new goal, I know you will make it even longer this time!  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 07, 2019, 12:09:58 AM
Good start again, set your last streak as a new goal, I know you will make it even longer this time!  :)
Yes bro. Thanks for support.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 07, 2019, 02:08:22 PM
Day 6 at july 8
Feeling good. Slowly i am getting myself back. I am a better person . a confident one but this 6 years my life lived in dark ages.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 08, 2019, 12:40:19 PM
Day 6 at july 8
Feeling good. Slowly i am getting myself back. I am a better person . a confident one but this 6 years my life lived in dark ages.
one nightfall is today.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 08, 2019, 11:06:29 PM
Day 7 at july 9
Feeling good. Day 7 is good for me. Now i focused on how to make it day 14.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 10, 2019, 03:45:32 AM
Day 8 at july 10
Completed 7 days successfully.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 10, 2019, 04:37:14 AM
You're doing great, man. You're back at day 8.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 10, 2019, 11:15:51 AM
You're doing great, man. You're back at day 8.
Ty
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Thank you for all that you do for me on July 11, 2019, 06:09:24 AM
Keep doing your best. If you are not happy now... you have a lot time to figure things out. Don't worry, you'll get where you want to be!
Stay gold my friend  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 11, 2019, 08:09:41 AM
Keep doing your best. If you are not happy now... you have a lot time to figure things out. Don't worry, you'll get where you want to be!
Stay gold my friend  :)
thanks
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 11, 2019, 08:14:10 AM
Day 9 at july 11
Today i am very happy. At day 9 today. Stress levels decreased. Focusing on my daily work.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 11, 2019, 08:46:00 AM
You're doing well, man.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 11, 2019, 09:30:39 PM
Day 10 at  july 12
Completed 10 days. Now i am in a constant way of life.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 11, 2019, 09:49:57 PM
Ten days is super awesome.  Keep it up man
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 12, 2019, 04:19:37 AM
Ten days is super awesome.  Keep it up man
Yes thanks
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on July 13, 2019, 05:53:11 AM
Day 10 at  july 12
Completed 10 days. Now i am in a constant way of life.

Great!  :)

If you can make it 10 days, you can reach the 12 days again you reached before... and if you make it 12 days, you will also make it even further!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 13, 2019, 12:09:57 PM
Day 11 at july 13
Completed 11 days . now going for 12 days.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 13, 2019, 12:32:23 PM
Nice dude!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 13, 2019, 01:45:27 PM
Day 11 at july 13
Completed 11 days . now going for 12 days.

Double digits start to become routine, man. Keep going. Now you know you can do it,
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 13, 2019, 02:29:53 PM
Nice work man, double digits!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 13, 2019, 09:28:31 PM
Nice dude!
Thanks
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 13, 2019, 09:29:39 PM

Double digits start to become routine, man. Keep going. Now you know you can do it,
thanks
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 13, 2019, 09:36:54 PM
Day 12 at July 14
Yes i did it. Before this i am relapsed at day 12. And now i reached day 12. Here i want to say you that relapse is a thing that tell us you don't do it. But if you be stable you can do it.
I want to help you all.
Things i did to reach day 12

Step1: Be busy all day.

Step2: try to solve problems of your Carrier and other real life problems
.
Step3: Don't focus on your relapses. Just be confident by remembering your past success.

Step4: do daily meditation.

And other one is go out of home and explore things. Hang out with friends.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 14, 2019, 05:14:47 AM
Great, man! It sounds good. Now you know you can do it.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 14, 2019, 10:46:41 PM
Day 13 at july 15
Yes completed 12 days and started day 13. Now i am feeling well. My feeling of regret is gone now. I am very upset in past few days that my last relapse is at day 12. So now i am very confident.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 15, 2019, 01:21:03 AM
You got this, man. Almost 2 weeks. This is outstanding progress so far.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 15, 2019, 07:39:05 AM
You got this, man. Almost 2 weeks. This is outstanding progress so far.
Thanks
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 16, 2019, 01:14:07 AM
Day 14
A nightfall today. Because of this i have strong urges whole day.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 16, 2019, 03:08:17 AM
Day 14
A nightfall today. Because of this i have strong urges whole day.

2 weeks! This is great so far.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 16, 2019, 04:52:56 AM
Day 14
A nightfall today. Because of this i have strong urges whole day.

2 weeks! This is great so far.
Ty
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 16, 2019, 05:09:07 AM
Today's withdrawals:
1. Headache
2. Depression
3. Anexity
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 16, 2019, 06:19:41 AM
I completed 2 weeks without pmo.
Now my goal is to complete 3 weeks.
That is from 17th july to 23rd july.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 16, 2019, 07:03:42 AM
I completed 2 weeks without pmo.
Now my goal is to complete 3 weeks.
That is from 17th july to 23rd july.

You know you can do it. Do the same things that you did in those 2 weeks.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 16, 2019, 02:04:25 PM
I completed 2 weeks without pmo.
Now my goal is to complete 3 weeks.
That is from 17th july to 23rd july.

You know you can do it. Do the same things that you did in those 2 weeks.
Yes Lero.
I always read your journal. You are also close to success keep going.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 16, 2019, 02:22:09 PM
Day 15
Start of third week. Defeated many urges yesterday. I have trouble in sleeping. One nightfall caused heavy urges yesterday.
So the main goal of this week is to defeat nightfall problem.
Solution for nightfall:

1. Wakeup early between 4 to 5 am. Because in most cases nightfall happens in this time period.

2. Do daily exercise.

3. Don't over think about sex.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 17, 2019, 02:43:58 AM
Day 15
Start of third week. Defeated many urges yesterday. I have trouble in sleeping. One nightfall caused heavy urges yesterday.
So the main goal of this week is to defeat nightfall problem.
Solution for nightfall:

1. Wakeup early between 4 to 5 am. Because in most cases nightfall happens in this time period.

2. Do daily exercise.

3. Don't over think about sex.

Wake up at 4 in the morning and go outside for a run like Mike Tyson.  :D
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 17, 2019, 01:53:05 PM
Day 15
Start of third week. Defeated many urges yesterday. I have trouble in sleeping. One nightfall caused heavy urges yesterday.
So the main goal of this week is to defeat nightfall problem.
Solution for nightfall:

1. Wakeup early between 4 to 5 am. Because in most cases nightfall happens in this time period.

2. Do daily exercise.

3. Don't over think about sex.

Wake up at 4 in the morning and go outside for a run like Mike Tyson.  :D
Ya its a good idea
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 18, 2019, 04:22:34 AM
Day 16
at july 18
Defeating urges
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 18, 2019, 06:46:03 AM
Day 16
at july 18
Defeating urges

16 days woooo!  Great work man, you starting to notice any small benefits or positive changes?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on July 18, 2019, 03:06:08 PM
Day 16
at july 18
Defeating urges

That's awesome, look how far you've come! To my experience the worst is about to come within the next days, so stay aware - it will become easier afterwards...  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 18, 2019, 07:29:06 PM
Day 17
It becoming easy day by day
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 18, 2019, 08:12:11 PM
Day 17
It becoming easy day by day

That's awesome dude!  Have you noticed any positive effects?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 20, 2019, 04:29:20 AM
Yes squid.
The positive effects :
1. Focusing on my work.
2. Increase in confidence
3. Headaches become lower
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 20, 2019, 04:31:10 AM
Day 18
Few urges today. But i defeated it easyly. Now i am low social anxious. I am mixing in new peoples quickly than before.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 20, 2019, 04:34:13 AM
That's outstanding, man! I have 13 days too.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 20, 2019, 04:35:41 AM
That's outstanding, man! I have 13 days too.
Congratulations
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 20, 2019, 04:41:33 AM
We know we can do this. We've come a long way. We've been through hard urges, nothing is impossible right now.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 20, 2019, 11:59:11 AM
We know we can do this. We've come a long way. We've been through hard urges, nothing is impossible right now.
Yes
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 20, 2019, 09:46:03 PM
Day 19
Yesterday night i defeated an strong urge. Now at day 19. I am happy because positive things are started to happen.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 20, 2019, 10:18:15 PM
Day 19
Yesterday night i defeated an strong urge. Now at day 19. I am happy because positive things are started to happen.

That's awesome, how did you handle the strong urge?  What did you do?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 21, 2019, 03:35:11 AM
Day 19
Yesterday night i defeated an strong urge. Now at day 19. I am happy because positive things are started to happen.

That's awesome, how did you handle the strong urge?  What did you do?
Don't use my phone at night.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 21, 2019, 07:21:31 AM
Remember some time ago when you wrote "Relapse" after 4 days? Now look at you. You will have a 20 days streak soon. You've come a long way and you must keep this in mind. You've been doing some good things to reach that many days so just keep doing the same thing and you should be fine.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 21, 2019, 01:51:11 PM
Remember some time ago when you wrote "Relapse" after 4 days? Now look at you. You will have a 20 days streak soon. You've come a long way and you must keep this in mind. You've been doing some good things to reach that many days so just keep doing the same thing and you should be fine.
Yes lero.  And thanks you motivated me that time.
Day 19 is completed successfully.  Now day 20 is started.  I want to complete 21 days.  It's a dream for me to see changes after 21 days of reboot.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: polish_bear_65 on July 22, 2019, 03:54:57 PM
I've been reading these threads for quite a while. Is there a "healthy" level of... you know... maintaining the cursed activity? It's like alcoholism I guess. The only difference between regular people and alcoholic - he can't control his urges.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 22, 2019, 06:06:39 PM
I've been reading these threads for quite a while. Is there a "healthy" level of... you know... maintaining the cursed activity? It's like alcoholism I guess. The only difference between regular people and alcoholic - he can't control his urges.

Welcome to the Nation!

If you haven't already, Iecommend you learn more about it through yourbrainonporn.com, Gabe Deem's youtube videos, Gary Wilson's TED talk "the great porn experiment", and also Gary wrote a book called "your brain on porn".

If you are thinking that removing pmo from your life will be beneficial, you should do a reboot.  Aim for 90 days and start a journal on this forum and post everyday.  I hope to comment on your journal soon!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: jayt106 on July 22, 2019, 08:11:24 PM
Don't give up hope, and don't let your past discourage you! I used to masturbate AT LEAST 6-7 times every day for my entire middle school, high school, and college career. Here I am now on 7 month streak... 200+ days without watching porn or masturbating. Identify your triggers, make a plan, and keep yourself busy. You got this!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 23, 2019, 12:09:46 AM
I've been reading these threads for quite a while. Is there a "healthy" level of... you know... maintaining the cursed activity? It's like alcoholism I guess. The only difference between regular people and alcoholic - he can't control his urges.
The urges of pmo and alcoholic person is similar. Because both things ie. Drugs and PMo affects the in a same way.
So if you learn to control pmo urges you also control your alcohol urges
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 23, 2019, 12:10:21 AM
Day 21
Dream completed .
Today i have one nightfall
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 23, 2019, 02:12:36 PM
Day 22
3 weeks completed without pmo. I am awkward that it is compled. Before this i just seen dream of 21 days . but today i completed it.
Then from now my dream is 42 days. Mission 42 is ON from now. Now my dream is 42 days. Because i want progress.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on July 23, 2019, 02:24:17 PM
That's amazing, congratulations on more than 3 weeks!  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 23, 2019, 03:46:31 PM
Relapsed.   :(
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 23, 2019, 09:49:21 PM
Relapsed.   :(

I'm sorry to hear that man.  Think of how great you felt during the 22 days and don't follow the chaser.  Come right back to center, you can do it!  Without triggers if possible and if you feel comfortable, walk us through what happened, what you did right and what could be improved. 
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 23, 2019, 10:59:44 PM
Relapsed.   :(

I'm sorry to hear that man.  Think of how great you felt during the 22 days and don't follow the chaser.  Come right back to center, you can do it!  Without triggers if possible and if you feel comfortable, walk us through what happened, what you did right and what could be improved.
yes.
relapsed one time again at morning. one mistake falls all dreams down.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 23, 2019, 11:06:00 PM
Nightfall is main reason for my relapse
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 24, 2019, 12:58:09 AM
Its over. War ended.
21 days hardwork is wasted now.
Starting again is so horrible.
This nightfalls are so irritating.
I am becoming used to relapses.
Learned one thing that urges after 21 days are so strong urges  .
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 24, 2019, 01:01:10 AM
Day 1 from 12am at july 24
After badly relapsing I have only one option is to start again. And i am starting also. I know it is possible again. But relapsing again is not fare . so i planed again to counter this problem.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 24, 2019, 10:59:16 AM
I know the feeling, bro. I relapsed after 14 days. It's annoying. But you know you can do it. You made it to 21 days and some time ago you used to relapse after 4 days only. This is a signifiant improvement. You have to do again what worked when you reached 21 days and avoid what made you relapse.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 24, 2019, 10:05:26 PM
I know the feeling, bro. I relapsed after 14 days. It's annoying. But you know you can do it. You made it to 21 days and some time ago you used to relapse after 4 days only. This is a signifiant improvement. You have to do again what worked when you reached 21 days and avoid what made you relapse.
Yes lero.
In this 21 days i only focused on reboot. I ignored all urges. So today is Day 1 at july 25. Started again with little bit motivation and your support. Lets see ehat is done in future
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 25, 2019, 06:40:52 AM
Day 1 is successfully completed. i spend my afternoon time with friends. so only thing remains is controlling myself at night.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 25, 2019, 01:21:08 PM
Relapse is started one by one now. Its very hard for me to get myself back after one relapse. Day 1 is failed at night
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 26, 2019, 02:52:45 AM
Relapsed again. This boredom causing so many relapses
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 26, 2019, 03:45:05 AM
Rebooting is dream for me now. Help me friends
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 26, 2019, 03:51:15 PM
Day 0 at july 26
Relapsed two times.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: rob24 on July 26, 2019, 04:11:10 PM
Day 0 at july 26
Relapsed two times.

Don't follow the chaser man - you can do it! If nightfall is the problem, I highly recommend reading until you fall asleep with a book in your hands. Recommended reading: "Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 26, 2019, 04:27:22 PM
I recommend you post on your journal every day in great detail.  Put your thoughts out there.  How are you feeling?  What do you really want to do?  How does this habit effect your life?  What have you done right?  What could you improve?  What proactive steps have you taken to move away from this habit and towards others?  What could you do?  If you need ideas ask our community.  We are here with you and are rooting for you!

Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 26, 2019, 04:44:29 PM
I recommend you post on your journal every day in great detail.  Put your thoughts out there.  How are you feeling?  What do you really want to do?  How does this habit effect your life?  What have you done right?  What could you improve?  What proactive steps have you taken to move away from this habit and towards others?  What could you do?  If you need ideas ask our community.  We are here with you and are rooting for you!

I definitely agree with this. We don't even know what's your plan for rebooting. What do you actually do? If you only try to beat this addiction with willpower alone, it won't work. I know from experience. Willpower is like muscles. There are so many boxes you could carry before your muscles get tired and you have to stop. Pushing through urges with willpower will tired this willpower muscle and you will eventually relapse.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 26, 2019, 10:32:35 PM
Day 0 at july 26
Relapsed two times.

Don't follow the chaser man - you can do it! If nightfall is the problem, I highly recommend reading until you fall asleep with a book in your hands. Recommended reading: "Your Brain on Porn" by Gary Wilson.
ok i should try
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 26, 2019, 10:33:47 PM
I recommend you post on your journal every day in great detail.  Put your thoughts out there.  How are you feeling?  What do you really want to do?  How does this habit effect your life?  What have you done right?  What could you improve?  What proactive steps have you taken to move away from this habit and towards others?  What could you do?  If you need ideas ask our community.  We are here with you and are rooting for you!
Ok
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 26, 2019, 10:39:25 PM
I recommend you post on your journal every day in great detail.  Put your thoughts out there.  How are you feeling?  What do you really want to do?  How does this habit effect your life?  What have you done right?  What could you improve?  What proactive steps have you taken to move away from this habit and towards others?  What could you do?  If you need ideas ask our community.  We are here with you and are rooting for you!

I definitely agree with this. We don't even know what's your plan for rebooting. What do you actually do? If you only try to beat this addiction with willpower alone, it won't work. I know from experience. Willpower is like muscles. There are so many boxes you could carry before your muscles get tired and you have to stop. Pushing through urges with willpower will tired this willpower muscle and you will eventually relapse.
ok
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 26, 2019, 10:41:40 PM
Day 1
So i am 21 years old.
My plan from today is to do 90 days reboot.
So at day 1 morning is of too much urges. I am ignoring urges by listening music.
The most difficult part for me is the night. Because i am unable to sleep at night. This addiction withdtawals are hard..
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 26, 2019, 10:45:09 PM
Day 1
So i am 21 years old.
My plan from today is to do 90 days reboot.
So at day 1 morning is of too much urges. I am ignoring urges by listening music.
The most difficult part for me is the night. Because i am unable to sleep at night. This addiction withdtawals are hard..

Is there any goal that you are interested on pursuing?  Maybe finishing school, getting a cool job, finding a woman, making music or something else?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 26, 2019, 10:51:34 PM
Day 1
So i am 21 years old.
My plan from today is to do 90 days reboot.
So at day 1 morning is of too much urges. I am ignoring urges by listening music.
The most difficult part for me is the night. Because i am unable to sleep at night. This addiction withdtawals are hard..

Is there any goal that you are interested on pursuing?  Maybe finishing school, getting a cool job, finding a woman, making music or something else?
I am looking for a cool job. And because of this addiction i am looking less confident in front of interviewer.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 26, 2019, 11:23:09 PM
Day 1
So i am 21 years old.
My plan from today is to do 90 days reboot.
So at day 1 morning is of too much urges. I am ignoring urges by listening music.
The most difficult part for me is the night. Because i am unable to sleep at night. This addiction withdtawals are hard..

Is there any goal that you are interested on pursuing?  Maybe finishing school, getting a cool job, finding a woman, making music or something else?
I am looking for a cool job. And because of this addiction i am looking less confident in front of interviewer.

What kind of job?  be really specific.  Why do you want it?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 27, 2019, 07:48:43 AM
Day 1
So i am 21 years old.
My plan from today is to do 90 days reboot.
So at day 1 morning is of too much urges. I am ignoring urges by listening music.
The most difficult part for me is the night. Because i am unable to sleep at night. This addiction withdtawals are hard..

Is there any goal that you are interested on pursuing?  Maybe finishing school, getting a cool job, finding a woman, making music or something else?
I am looking for a cool job. And because of this addiction i am looking less confident in front of interviewer.

What kind of job?  be really specific.  Why do you want it?
bro to live a quality life. to made myself self independant , and many things,
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 27, 2019, 11:20:38 PM
day 1 completed successfully.
i starting a mission named as"Recovering Life"
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on July 28, 2019, 10:36:59 AM
Think about what helped on your latest, long streak and try to repeat that pattern, while avoiding the relapse patterns. You can make it!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 28, 2019, 03:04:13 PM
Think about what helped on your latest, long streak and try to repeat that pattern, while avoiding the relapse patterns. You can make it!
Thanks for motivation brother.
But i relapsed today also.  I think I am losing my mind powers day by day.  I am not able to sleep at night.  Because of heavy urges I am totally unable to control myself.  I am really so tired of this addiction now. 
I try to leave it but it capures me again.  I did everything to stop it. 
Now the my only hope left is God.  God will save me from this. 
Tomorrow is day 1 for myself.  A new start.  I try to do some exercises at morning
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: rob24 on July 28, 2019, 04:40:49 PM
Think about what helped on your latest, long streak and try to repeat that pattern, while avoiding the relapse patterns. You can make it!
Thanks for motivation brother.
But i relapsed today also.  I think I am losing my mind powers day by day.  I am not able to sleep at night.  Because of heavy urges I am totally unable to control myself.  I am really so tired of this addiction now. 
I try to leave it but it capures me again.  I did everything to stop it. 
Now the my only hope left is God.  God will save me from this. 
Tomorrow is day 1 for myself.  A new start.  I try to do some exercises at morning

You can do it man. You don't need to follow the chaser any longer. I'm feeling similar since I realize I was flirting with P subs because of my neuroses and my addictive pathways kicking in. Every new relapse, as long as you learn from the last one or it strengthens your willpower, leaves you wiser than before, in some ways. It's in our failure that we learn.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 30, 2019, 12:44:17 AM
Day 2 at 30 July
completed day1 , i need one plan to act on.

i need start to wake up at 5 am daily because by this my nightfall problem overcomes.

i also need to do regular exercise to recover body from this 6 years of addiction.

So my plan is like this
31st July- start early morning exercises
             - start meditation.

4th August - to complete 1 week of reboot.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on July 30, 2019, 04:47:31 PM
Day 2 at 30 July
completed day1 , i need one plan to act on.

i need start to wake up at 5 am daily because by this my nightfall problem overcomes.

i also need to do regular exercise to recover body from this 6 years of addiction.

So my plan is like this
31st July- start early morning exercises
             - start meditation.

4th August - to complete 1 week of reboot.

Sounds like you have the beginnings of a plan there   Keep adding details.  What kind of exercising, what's your program?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 30, 2019, 04:53:42 PM
That's right. If you don't have a plan, you won't make it. I had to see this myself the hard way until I stopped being stubborn.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 30, 2019, 10:38:24 PM
Day 2 at 30 July
completed day1 , i need one plan to act on.

i need start to wake up at 5 am daily because by this my nightfall problem overcomes.

i also need to do regular exercise to recover body from this 6 years of addiction.

So my plan is like this
31st July- start early morning exercises
             - start meditation.

4th August - to complete 1 week of reboot.

Sounds like you have the beginnings of a plan there   Keep adding details.  What kind of exercising, what's your program?
I am doing simple exercises like running , stretching etc.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 30, 2019, 10:38:52 PM
That's right. If you don't have a plan, you won't make it. I had to see this myself the hard way until I stopped being stubborn.

Thanks.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on July 30, 2019, 10:39:50 PM
Day 3 at 31 july
At day 3 i did morning exercises.
My headache is gone now. Focusing on my Carrier.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on July 31, 2019, 02:11:13 AM
I am doing simple exercises like running , stretching etc.

That's a good start. It makes you do something and exercise helps with some of the urges.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 01, 2019, 07:26:32 AM
Day 4 at Aug 1
Today also i wake up at 5 am. And did exercise.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 01, 2019, 10:41:49 PM
Day 5 at August 2
Completed 4 days . an milestone
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 02, 2019, 03:18:06 AM
Good. You have almost a week.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 03, 2019, 12:49:09 PM
Good. You have almost a week.
Thanks lero. 
Today I am at day 6
Very high urges.  I am typing now at night. Tomorrow is day 7. A new milestone of my journey.
My plan of reboot is like above:
Part 1:
To complete first hardest 7 days.  Because the first few days and withdrawal are very hard.

Part 2:
To be patient in hard mode of recovery.  That is from day 8 to day 42. This 35 days are so important.  Here I need improve control on myself.

Part 3:
This is from day 43 to day 90.
This part is that part where I am achieved a semi success.  In this level my goal is to just hit 90 days success.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: rob24 on August 03, 2019, 12:59:03 PM
Good luck man! It's hard mode I'm trying to work on right now to get rid of the thought patterns altogether rather than just the porn. The little bit I've experienced has changed a lot about me and my social interactions and confidence. Hope it helps you, and keep up the good work!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 03, 2019, 01:25:07 PM
Things are moving, @Do or die. Tomorrow is 1 week for you.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 05, 2019, 09:52:55 PM
Day 8 at august 6
Completed one week. More confident today. No wet dreams in this whole week.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 05, 2019, 09:55:22 PM
Things are moving, @Do or die. Tomorrow is 1 week for you.
yes lero. Thanks this is all because of you friends. Your motivation is so important for me
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 05, 2019, 09:56:27 PM
Good luck man! It's hard mode I'm trying to work on right now to get rid of the thought patterns altogether rather than just the porn. The little bit I've experienced has changed a lot about me and my social interactions and confidence. Hope it helps you, and keep up the good work!
Thanks
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 06, 2019, 01:35:58 PM
Relapsed today
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 06, 2019, 01:54:42 PM
Relapsed today

Sorry, bro.  :(
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 06, 2019, 10:31:55 PM
Relapsed today

Sorry, bro.  :(
Why you saying sorry.
 Day 1
Started again today. Goal is 7 days.
Its very important to control yourself when you relapsed. You has a block of negative thought ready in your mind . who is telling you about reboot is not possible or its very hard. Your mind try their best to tend you to relapse again. But if you don't respond then you win.
And today is my that day of fighting . its a First day of my reboot.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 07, 2019, 12:19:39 AM
Relapsed at day 1 also. Reboot is hard . after relapse it became to hard to control yourself
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 07, 2019, 01:20:26 AM
Day 0 from 12 pm of 7 August
I am relapsed 68 time till now in 2019.
Because of this i have some serious issue with my health. Its enough if i not stopped now then never i become rebooted. Its a only one last chance for me to change myself.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 07, 2019, 03:51:09 AM
Day 0 from 12 pm of 7 August
I am relapsed 68 time till now in 2019.
Because of this i have some serious issue with my health. Its enough if i not stopped now then never i become rebooted. Its a only one last chance for me to change myself.

It's never too late to do it one more time that could be the last time before the freedom. If a plan is followed, I believe things one day will "click".
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 07, 2019, 05:35:27 AM
Ok
Bro i am relapsed again.
2 times i relapsed today.
Waiting for end of this day
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 07, 2019, 08:14:44 AM
Why do you relapse?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: squid on August 07, 2019, 10:08:21 AM
It sounds like you need a new plan of action.  Are you exercising?  What has been tripping you up?  Do you need to cut out drinking, video games or social media?  I would start putting way more details into posts, that will help with self reflection.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 07, 2019, 10:19:17 AM
It sounds like you need a new plan of action.  Are you exercising?  What has been tripping you up?  Do you need to cut out drinking, video games or social media?  I would start putting way more details into posts, that will help with self reflection.

That's right. I think it's time to write more details about what's going on, like other users here do when they try to identify what triggered them, what went wrong, what they need to change etc.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: rob24 on August 07, 2019, 05:31:52 PM
More details would be helpful! Maybe we could help pinpoint areas of growth! I've tried to not hold back anything from my posts and it's helped me sort out a lot of deeply ingrained neuroses that I find it hard to tell any person. Sort of a replacement for therapy (if I may make the comparison), and with a whole bunch more therapists who are also working to solve similar problems in their own life.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 12:05:42 AM
Why do you relapse?
at night i opened porn site. withdrawal symptom caused me to relapse . because of headache i relapsed that  night and yesterday 2 time.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 12:09:36 AM
It sounds like you need a new plan of action.  Are you exercising?  What has been tripping you up?  Do you need to cut out drinking, video games or social media?  I would start putting way more details into posts, that will help with self reflection.
yes you are right. i am doing exercise but if i take one day break from exercise it tends me to relapse. And i this days i am alone at home. so triggers are more. So from today  i need to avoid loneliness .
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 12:10:45 AM
More details would be helpful! Maybe we could help pinpoint areas of growth! I've tried to not hold back anything from my posts and it's helped me sort out a lot of deeply ingrained neuroses that I find it hard to tell any person. Sort of a replacement for therapy (if I may make the comparison), and with a whole bunch more therapists who are also working to solve similar problems in their own life.
thats right.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 12:14:00 AM
Day 1 at 08 August
From morning headache started. i am escaping from fighting the real life problems . porn gives me happiness without doing anything. because it is freely available. so this is the main reason why  i am relapsing frequently. as you all see in your life , you only see the porn when you are sad or worrying about anything . and this made my brain addict of escaping real life problems
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 08, 2019, 05:01:39 AM
at night i opened porn site. withdrawal symptom caused me to relapse . because of headache i relapsed that  night and yesterday 2 time.

Make porn hard to access, like installing a blocker or something.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 09:29:38 AM
at night i opened porn site. withdrawal symptom caused me to relapse . because of headache i relapsed that  night and yesterday 2 time.

Make porn hard to access, like installing a blocker or something.
Bro when i install such software it block some normal websites also. So its not a good option for me. But i see from now that how many days it takes to recover myself fully
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 08, 2019, 09:41:05 AM
Bro when i install such software it block some normal websites also. So its not a good option for me. But i see from now that how many days it takes to recover myself fully

What software did you install and what normal websites did it block?
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 10:02:23 AM
Bro when i install such software it block some normal websites also. So its not a good option for me. But i see from now that how many days it takes to recover myself fully

What software did you install and what normal websites did it block?
My antivirus software has a parental control mode. But when i activate it , they block YouTube also.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 08, 2019, 10:04:12 AM
My antivirus software has a parental control mode. But when i activate it , they block YouTube also.

See if you could find another blocking software.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 10:05:42 AM
My antivirus software has a parental control mode. But when i activate it , they block YouTube also.

See if you could find another blocking software.
Ok i should try.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 08, 2019, 12:49:59 PM
Making porn (and porn substitutes) very hard to access is a very important step in the beginning, if you cannot control yourself not to look at them. I've blocked porn on my pc too.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 10:23:34 PM
Making porn (and porn substitutes) very hard to access is a very important step in the beginning, if you cannot control yourself not to look at them. I've blocked porn on my pc too.
Ya its an important step towards it.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 08, 2019, 10:24:11 PM
Day 1 is completed successfully
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on August 09, 2019, 11:03:16 AM
Good to see you made a new start, remember what helped you on your long streak before the latest relapses and try to reach that point again!  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 09, 2019, 12:18:12 PM
Relapses are not in vain when they help you progress. It's a process to get to the point where you have everything ready. I finally took the reboot seriously 2 months ago and until recently I was still trapped in my usual porn routine, where I relapsed after 4 or 5 days. We are tired of porn and we want to start a streak tomorrow and go all the way to recovery, but unfortunately, for many of us it's not that simple. I, personally, don't know anybody who started his first ever streak and never relapsed. It takes time that's why we need patience and a positive mindset. The patience until we gather everything that we need and positive mindset because we actually know we are on the right track (of course, I'm assuming everybody actually follows a plan here and doesn't attempt to beat this addiction by luck). Once you figure out everything that sabotages your relapse, things will eventually align themselves. I was dumbfounded to see how my streak started growing but there was no mistery, no luck, no chance... It happened because I had finally figured out the last piece of puzzle, the last thing that sabotaged my recovery which was the mentality that edging for 5 minutes to something light will not affect me. It was not true. Once I got rid of that, I got to 19 days. Tomorrow it's 20 days. Actually @Do or die has a better record than me in this moment (21 days). How did you get to 21 days? Think about what helped you, see if it was the right plan and if you should follow it again or improve it.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 10, 2019, 11:55:14 AM
Yes lero you are right.
Day 3
Completed two days.
Recovery from a darkness . this darkness should end one day definitely.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 10, 2019, 11:56:20 AM
Good to see you made a new start, remember what helped you on your long streak before the latest relapses and try to reach that point again!  :)
Yes bro. Best luck for you also.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 10, 2019, 01:51:17 PM
Yes lero you are right.
Day 3
Completed two days.
Recovery from a darkness . this darkness should end one day definitely.

A streak always starts with the first days. The only time when you have absolutely no chance is when you don't try. You have to keep trying as many times as neccesary until everything starts working.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 10, 2019, 10:50:02 PM
Yes lero you are right.
Day 3
Completed two days.
Recovery from a darkness . this darkness should end one day definitely.

A streak always starts with the first days. The only time when you have absolutely no chance is when you don't try. You have to keep trying as many times as neccesary until everything starts working.
Yes bro. And i also know that 6 years of addiction needs at least 6 months recovery .
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 10, 2019, 10:53:24 PM
Day 4
Little bit concentration backed up . this is the sign of recovery is started. Changes is happening. And i am enjoying this changes. I remembering my first days if reboot where just two days of reboot is impossible for me. I think rebooting takes time but this really teach us so many things. It makes ourselves strong. It teach us how to handle failures and start again.
The journey of every rebooter is a life time motivation
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 11, 2019, 01:04:44 PM
August 11
Day 5
Completed day 4 successfully
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: rob24 on August 11, 2019, 10:21:31 PM
Yes lero you are right.
Day 3
Completed two days.
Recovery from a darkness . this darkness should end one day definitely.

A streak always starts with the first days. The only time when you have absolutely no chance is when you don't try. You have to keep trying as many times as neccesary until everything starts working.
Yes bro. And i also know that 6 years of addiction needs at least 6 months recovery .

Haha, I like this way of thinking. It makes me a lot more patient for results to come along. 8 years of p, plus another 4 years of m and o all alone means it'll be at least a year to figure out my real self. Nice to think that there are still many benefits and more progress to come. Keep it up!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 12, 2019, 02:13:47 AM
August 12
Day 6
Going straight to reboot. Recovery opens new ways to be happy. Small things matters when you are on reboot.
You feel small things deeply. You make your judgement on various things of life
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 13, 2019, 03:49:34 AM
August 13
Day 7
Again at day 7, now real reboot is started
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: achilles heel on August 13, 2019, 02:35:31 PM
Great! If you can make it one week again, you will also be able to beat your latest streak. Just keep advancing!  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 14, 2019, 06:46:25 AM
Day 8
Wd today. Doing it better day by day.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 14, 2019, 11:57:19 PM
Day 9
Completed 8 days with one wet dream.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: rob24 on August 15, 2019, 06:35:34 PM
Nice job! How's everything going? Are you changing things that caused your last relapse? Maybe we can help!
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 05:29:50 AM
Day 10 at August 16
Completed 10 days. I am avoiding things that caused me to relapse. And it worked.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 01:10:10 PM
Relapsed at night. I seen porn on social media and fapped. I lost my whole mind and again did this bullshit.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 01:11:24 PM
Its a very hard thing to stop it because i am frequently relapsing
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 01:19:12 PM
It getting easy but hard also.
6 years means 2190 days. And i am relapsing in 21 days 10 days etc.
Its not enough reboot to defeat 2190 days .
I relapsed in just 10 days. Its not a good thing.
I have good strategies but i am not able to implement .
Ok i start again. I will fight till end light. I not stop on little failure . i want success only success not any other thing.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 01:26:06 PM
My plan to fight porn
1. Start reboot from 17th August
2. Start daily exercise from 17th August .
3. Start a good defeating strategy.
4. Remind my plan on daily basis.

And one thing to know i am relapsing when i know all bad effects of porn. It means i am very badly addicted to it.

At today night i simply watched it . without thinking that it's harmfull.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 16, 2019, 01:36:08 PM
You need a plan for when you see triggers by mistake. Stay away from social media.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 02:01:24 PM
You need a plan for when you see triggers by mistake. Stay away from social media.
Bro i tried everything
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 02:03:00 PM
Improve your inner self. Spirituality can help me to do this.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 16, 2019, 02:11:54 PM
You need a plan for when you see triggers by mistake. Stay away from social media.
Bro i tried everything

I hate to tell you this, but you haven't tried everything. I said the same. I really tried everything when my streak started working.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 02:16:22 PM
Ok
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 02:20:21 PM
I am 21 years old. I am addicted from 15 years old. I tried many times to reboot. Some times i succeeded. But i relapsed so many times.
I want to reboot but i can't do it. I am trying from 6 years. This 6 years i just tried only one thing that is reboot. I did not focused on any other thing in my life. Even i don't enjoyed any second of my life in this years.

God help me i need your help .
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 16, 2019, 02:24:16 PM
1) No matter how you feel, no matter how hard the urges are, you don't search for porn material. Stay away from it. A relapse starts in the mind before you go to watch porn. Identify when the urges to watch porn start and stop yourself there.

2) If you do "1" right, you need to find a way to deal with seeing triggers by mistake. Don't go looking for snakes. You will find them. Don't go looking for triggers. Stay away from social media, use computer only when you really need it. If you don't need it, don't use it.


Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 09:56:28 PM
Ok lero
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 09:57:59 PM
Day 1
I have an urge from morning. This urge is for A P video that i seen in my past. Lero you are right before actually relapsing it starts in our mind. Here I need to control my thought's.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 16, 2019, 10:07:57 PM
Urge Management:
1. Understand urge properly.
2. Your mind try everything to convince you to fapping.
3. Igonre all request of urge.
4. Turn off your mobile internet and go away from your mobile Or pc.
5. And ignore it completely.

By following this I am going to manage my urges.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Lero on August 17, 2019, 03:59:42 AM
Good. This is a good start.  :)
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 17, 2019, 05:22:08 AM
Relapsed again
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 17, 2019, 05:24:29 AM
I am alone at home today. Did it again . i am losing my motivation. My whole confidence. I am confused now . i dont know what todo.
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Free-man on August 17, 2019, 10:06:40 AM
Hi
Your main trigger is when you stay alone at home. Even sometimes you want to stay at home alone. I know because that was one of my triggers in the past. I wished to stay alone and starting to search porn like crazy. You have to change that behaviour.

I learned that it was the dopamine monster that makes click when it knows that you feeling down,high, bored, sad, alone… It wants action but everyday wants it harder and different stuff.

You know what? when you stay alone at home, change your behaviour and do another thing like meditation, exercise or both, try to focus your life in a different way. Try it, don't give up
Title: Re: Its time to really change
Post by: Do or die on August 17, 2019, 10:34:36 AM
Ok freeman i should try