Reboot Nation

Journals => Ages 20-29 => Topic started by: pruthukkc on February 07, 2019, 08:59:16 AM

Title: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 07, 2019, 08:59:16 AM
 Hi rebooters! I found this site 2 years back and created ac to changed my pmo habit. I read so many peoples story, watched Garry Wilson's ted talk and also subscribed reboot nation and noah church's youtube channel after gaining lots of information and reading so many stories i convinced that i am addicted to p because lots of stories are similar to mine. 
  When i was 12 years old i started m. and its natural i guess but  after watching late night adult movies on HBO i turned on and started my fapping journey. Then i just m. and watched some times late night adult shows on T.V, not every day but once a week. After 3 years my parents gifted me a 3G internet modem and that time i had also my bedroom so i just closed my door and watched softcore p video on youtube, hollywood movies adult scene etc and jerked of at age of 16 i had girlfriend but when i met her i always felt nervous and had problem with brainfogg we dated in facebook and i never intimate with her i loved her so much but when i met her i cant build intimacy and after 1.5 year she dumped me after that i was totally depressed and turned into p videos. I dont knew that time whats reason she left me, whats wrong with me. My real addiction started at age of 17 and then i always used p videos for m. before that i always fantasizing and then m. After using frequently i started realizing that this is serious problem to me because i always felt uncomfortable in social life i had problem with self esteem and self confidence. One day i searching about m addiction and i found garry willson and noah be church's videos and suddenly my eyes were open i finally knew whats wrong with me. So i kept researching on addiction and i realized that i am porn addict after some time i found this forum and i created account i started my journey i relapsed so many times in past 2 years my highest streak was 28 days. I realize that this addiction is really strong and if you want to reboot you must aware about triggers, withdrawals and whats happening with you. Today i relapsed and i break my new year goal so now i am completely focusing on reboot and i will update my journal every day.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: changemylife on February 07, 2019, 09:07:50 AM
Welcome, man. Our stories present similarities. This is my 2nd day, hard mode, no excuses.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on February 07, 2019, 09:59:02 AM
Welcome in the journey, man! You can get rid of this addiction like everyone if you keep pushing and improve yourself in every way!

Wish you a fast recovery!!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: blueRaccoon on February 08, 2019, 06:28:58 AM
Welcome man. You did the right thing by joining the forum. Having people who share similar experiences helps a lot. Keep us updated about your journey ;)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 08, 2019, 10:39:02 AM
Thanks for wise words buddies!
 
    Today I relapsed I had really strong headache and I can't able to sleep so I watched YouTube at 1:30 AM and then relapsed it's really depressing to me. Today my mind was really messed up, I continuesly thinking about suicide but I calm myself. I read so many stories today and there were 100 + rebooters who succeeded in this journey they also gone through tough times, I am really lucky that I found my problem and now I am going to solve it.
From tomorrow I will count my days.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: changemylife on February 08, 2019, 10:44:36 AM
Thanks for wise words buddies!
 
    Today I relapsed I had really strong headache and I can't able to sleep so I watched YouTube at 1:30 AM and then relapsed it's really depressing to me. Today my mind was really messed up, I continuesly thinking about suicide but I calm myself. I read so many stories today and there were 100 + rebooters who succeeded in this journey they also gone through tough times, I am really lucky that I found my problem and now I am going to solve it.
From tomorrow I will count my days.
First step is admitting we have a problem. You've done this. Second step is getting knowledgeable. We need to know what to do and what we could go through. Other people's story help us see what we could be facing. It's not only us feeling like that. Other people did too and if they could quit, so could we. It's not a walk in the park. Our brains know how to punish us for giving up pleasure. Years of artificial pleasure needs a period of pain to return everything back to normal. That's why, once we're done with this, we need to find reward in normal life things, not artificial things.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: blueRaccoon on February 09, 2019, 06:34:04 AM
It's okay that you relapsed but you must identify the triggers which led you to this. It could easily be YouTube. It was one of my triggers. I used to get bored doing something, then I would switch to YouTube for a bit of recreation and being bored there too I would switch to P. It was a routine. I cut off YouTube and all the other artificial simulation from my life and I do have seen considerable improvement. I needed to find new solutions to the problems which I did in form of taking walks, talking to friends, reading books (I'm still working on these). On the other hand, a tiny but most precious improvement that I have been able to notice in myself is "I'm able to laugh". It might seem insignificant at once but earlier I was not able to laugh at the jokes or moments other people found extremely funny. Those jokes had no effect on me, I used to feel nothing. I have fake laughed just not to ruin it for others. But now these small jokes, moments make me laugh naturally and I enjoy it. I don't know what could be the exact reason but I'm guessing that it might be the result of abstaining from the dopamine highs of PMO.
Porn makes us desensitized to the normal life in order to have us stick with it 24x7.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 09, 2019, 01:24:33 PM
Thanks blueRaccon for sharing your experience. Really appreciate it.

 Today I changed my  mindset I realized that being alone will turn me into p. Paradox so it's important to interact with people's be with them and talk so many strangers. Don't. Affraid to talk it is important to have good conversation skills. In past I. Always felt insucured in social but now I overcome it. My confidence increased because I knew my problem. Today I also played badminton with friends I feel so energetic. I proud to say that I completed day 1.
Take small steps for giant improvement!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on February 09, 2019, 01:52:18 PM
Good job job man! Each day without P is a small vicrory!

Stay with us and stay busy... that will help! Stay strong!!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: blueRaccoon on February 10, 2019, 05:52:54 AM
Happy to help man. Congratulations for your 1st day. Keep us updated.  ;)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on February 12, 2019, 12:19:36 AM
keep going friend.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 12, 2019, 03:35:52 AM
Thanks for motivation @ blueRaccon and Do or die.

12/2/19 @ Day 4.

Good day for me, talked so many people's faced little bit anxiety and p urges. Now I am going with hard mode for 120 days. I also set rules about hard mode. 1. If I have night fall then I don't count it as relapse. 2. If I mastrubate intensionally then I will count it's a relapsed. 3. If I watched p and then did m. I will count as relapse. So this is hard mode to me. Let's see how far I go in this journey. Never ever give my friends be strong be aware about triggers, withdrawals. Keep pushing yourself.

Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: changemylife on February 12, 2019, 06:05:34 AM
Thanks for motivation @ blueRaccon and Do or die.

12/2/19 @ Day 4.

Good day for me, talked so many people's faced little bit anxiety and p urges. Now I am going with hard mode for 120 days. I also set rules about hard mode. 1. If I have night fall then I don't count it as relapse. 2. If I mastrubate intensionally then I will count it's a relapsed. 3. If I watched p and then did m. I will count as relapse. So this is hard mode to me. Let's see how far I go in this journey. Never ever give my friends be strong be aware about triggers, withdrawals. Keep pushing yourself.
Hard mode for me is when I don't do anything deliberately. If I search for P to watch it, if I start edging, these are relapses. If I happen to see something by accident, it's not a relapse if I close it right away. If I stay there and enjoy it, it's relapse.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: blueRaccoon on February 12, 2019, 06:23:31 AM
Thanks for motivation @ blueRaccon and Do or die.

12/2/19 @ Day 4.

Good day for me, talked so many people's faced little bit anxiety and p urges. Now I am going with hard mode for 120 days. I also set rules about hard mode. 1. If I have night fall then I don't count it as relapse. 2. If I mastrubate intensionally then I will count it's a relapsed. 3. If I watched p and then did m. I will count as relapse. So this is hard mode to me. Let's see how far I go in this journey. Never ever give my friends be strong be aware about triggers, withdrawals. Keep pushing yourself.

Great!! All the best brother.  We are rooting for you!! 8)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 13, 2019, 06:59:07 AM
13/2/19 @ day 5. PMO free day. :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: changemylife on February 13, 2019, 07:04:39 AM
13/2/19 @ day 5. PMO free day. :)
This is my 2nd day only :(
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on February 13, 2019, 04:30:30 PM
13/2/19 @ day 5. PMO free day. :)

Congrats man, keep going! We're with you :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 13, 2019, 10:28:08 PM
13/2/19 @ day 5. PMO free day. :)
This is my 2nd day only :(

Keep pushing yourself  dont count days you can do it.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 13, 2019, 10:32:18 PM
13/2/19 @ day 5. PMO free day. :)

Congrats man, keep going! We're with you :)

Thanks buddy.

14-2-19

 6 days without PMO
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 14, 2019, 10:27:52 PM
Today I feel  really positive because I completed 1 week without PMO. Now upcoming 3 weeks are really important to me because most of the time I relapsed in this period so I will prepare for it.  I also doing meditation 3 times in day it also helping me a lot.
15/2/19 7 Days Clean
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: changemylife on February 15, 2019, 04:56:20 AM
Today I feel  really positive because I completed 1 week without PMO. Now upcoming 3 weeks are really important to me because most of the time I relapsed in this period so I will prepare for it.  I also doing meditation 3 times in day it also helping me a lot.
15/2/19 7 Days Clean
I don't know what happened to me but I've lost my ability to reach 1 week. I am even desensitized to the drama of it. I don't even despair these days.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on February 15, 2019, 01:11:04 PM
Today I feel  really positive because I completed 1 week without PMO. Now upcoming 3 weeks are really important to me because most of the time I relapsed in this period so I will prepare for it.  I also doing meditation 3 times in day it also helping me a lot.
15/2/19 7 Days Clean

That's really good, keep going and stay strong!!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 16, 2019, 12:38:01 AM
Today I feel  really positive because I completed 1 week without PMO. Now upcoming 3 weeks are really important to me because most of the time I relapsed in this period so I will prepare for it.  I also doing meditation 3 times in day it also helping me a lot.
15/2/19 7 Days Clean

That's really good, keep going and stay strong!!

Thanks brother!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 16, 2019, 12:39:38 AM
Today I feel  really positive because I completed 1 week without PMO. Now upcoming 3 weeks are really important to me because most of the time I relapsed in this period so I will prepare for it.  I also doing meditation 3 times in day it also helping me a lot.
15/2/19 7 Days Clean
I don't know what happened to me but I've lost my ability to reach 1 week. I am even desensitized to the drama of it. I don't even despair these days.

Be positive man!  Stay strong.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 16, 2019, 12:48:23 AM
16-2-19 8 days clean
Yesterday I got really strong urges but I control my self my. I also see changes in my erection I think it is flatline. I guess it's start now my penis is totally dead. Yesterday night I dreamed about p star and during meditation my mind also chattered about p scene,images etc. Guys please every day do some mental fitness activity. Like meditation,yoga, exercise. Etc and be consistent on it. In past week I regularly did meditation and yoga and it helping me a lot.
Tough time is coming be ready to face it.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on February 16, 2019, 01:31:34 AM
Great success brother keep going
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 16, 2019, 11:26:51 PM
17/2/19 Today I relapsed. I always relapse in 2nd or 3rd week because I can't able to handle urges and it's again happened to me so now I'm really aware about it.  I relapsed 2 times in this year so now this time I will win because I knew the path and where to go in this journey. Never give up.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on February 17, 2019, 04:15:38 AM
you need stop at one worst time. then why you going towards that worst time. stop now. you know the danger above you then why.
i am at day 2 today. doing it well. you also able to do it. get up . be rebooted and help others to reboot.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: blueRaccoon on February 17, 2019, 07:20:59 AM
17/2/19 Today I relapsed. I always relapse in 2nd or 3rd week because I can't able to handle urges and it's again happened to me so now I'm really aware about it.  I relapsed 2 times in this year so now this time I will win because I knew the path and where to go in this journey. Never give up.

You are ready to fight back again and that spirit will break down the addiction to its knees. Just be aware of the triggers and learn from it, identify what caused you the urges at the first place and have a plan to deal with them when they show up. And also do not stress much about your record with 2nd and 3rd weeks, sometimes "I always give up on this stage" becomes an excuse for relapse, if you know that these are the tough days for you, then prepare yourself well for it.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 20, 2019, 11:02:22 AM
you need stop at one worst time. then why you going towards that worst time. stop now. you know the danger above you then why.
i am at day 2 today. doing it well. you also able to do it. get up . be rebooted and help others to reboot.

Yes brother we can do it. :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 20, 2019, 11:14:01 AM
17/2/19 Today I relapsed. I always relapse in 2nd or 3rd week because I can't able to handle urges and it's again happened to me so now I'm really aware about it.  I relapsed 2 times in this year so now this time I will win because I knew the path and where to go in this journey. Never give up.

You are ready to fight back again and that spirit will break down the addiction to its knees. Just be aware of the triggers and learn from it, identify what caused you the urges at the first place and have a plan to deal with them when they show up. And also do not stress much about your record with 2nd and 3rd weeks, sometimes "I always give up on this stage" becomes an excuse for relapse, if you know that these are the tough days for you, then prepare yourself well for it.

Thanks for advice man i really appreciate that.


                                                         
                                                                    3rd Try.#@Day 3


 I was really busy past two days but i kept myself on track. I feel really free now my anxiety levels are reduced. Yesterday night i got really strong urges but i keep telling myself you can do it man p will never satisfied you. Now its last try for me because in this addiction game i have only 3 lives :P And its my final life and i will use it consciously. Hard mode is on now and i am ready for successful reboot. Never ever give up!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on February 20, 2019, 12:35:05 PM
Nice job man! A relapse is only a bump as long as you're not binging like crazy! Keep finding tricks against your brain to get yourself free from PMO, my friend, you're doing great!!

Stay Strong and keep Rebooting :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 21, 2019, 03:03:19 AM
Nice job man! A relapse is only a bump as long as you're not binging like crazy! Keep finding tricks against your brain to get yourself free from PMO, my friend, you're doing great!!

Stay Strong and keep Rebooting :)

Thanks bro!

Day 4 Clean day!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 22, 2019, 03:30:32 AM
22/2/19 Day 5 clean
Got little bit urges but I control myself during studies I can't able to focus because of urges but I handle it.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 23, 2019, 06:57:18 AM
Today i relapsed. ohhhh god how can i handle this triggers?! I relapsed once again and its really horrible. Now i am starting again from tomorrow this time i will break this cycle. Never ever give up.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: blueRaccoon on February 25, 2019, 06:54:23 AM
Stay with us brother. You can do this. We will get through this struggle.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 27, 2019, 11:02:23 AM
Stay with us brother. You can do this. We will get through this struggle.

Yes brother!

 
Past two days i was really busy and also relapsed back to back so now i am taking this challenge really seriously because i want freedom from this now. This year i relapsed 6 times and now i am seriously following Hard mode for while.
I also experienced that after starting your pmo free journey you were going through this stages:

1ST You start your journey and then you reach on 4th -5th day you will experience strong cravings of watching p.
2nd you always suffered from withdrawals like Anxiety,depression,brainfogg etc. Remember this is withdrawal symptoms of stopping pmo.
3rd after that you complete 1st or second week pmo free you got nighfall and weird dreams in between that and it happened with most of the peoples. Some times you suffered from Insomnia [is a sleep disorder that is characterized by difficulty falling and/or staying asleep] And then you got strong urges of pmo and you relapsed.

4th You are on 3rd and 4th week you got insane urges of p or something flashback of p scene and then you are starting surfing on browser etc. Sometimes when you are watching netflix, youtube you get strong urges and flashbacks and then you relapsed.

Most of the peoples are failed in this 4 stages and they relapsed because they dont know how to handle the withdrawals and urges means there lot of peoples were relapsed in this3-4 weeks period and this cycle repeated continuously. I think first four weeks are really important of this journey because after addicted to pmo we were never tried to live such long time without jerking off.

I realize that its important to update your journal daily and when got strong urges open this journal and write something here because this will help you naturally Another main thing of rebooting is your lifestyle if you want to reboot as quickly as possible you must have good lifestyle will support reboot so i guess consistency is only thing that will change you. 

so i glad to say that it is my first PMO free day on 27-2-19 and now i am regularly update my journal i take it as challenge. Keep moving on this path today because tomorrow never comes.

Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on February 28, 2019, 01:18:20 AM
28/2/19 At late night something around 1:30AM i relapsed. Yesterday night i trapped because of insomnia and cant able to sleep after watching p and jerking off i slept very well withdrawals really make you crazy. From tomorrow starting new journey.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: nikkovage on February 28, 2019, 04:42:43 AM
Good one . Happy that you are committed, And I wanna tell you that there's a great future ahead of you!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 03, 2019, 10:40:45 AM
Thanks brother!  :)

Today i relapsed 2 times. I suffered from insomnia thats why i relapsed past 2 days. Really depressive. Now i am going to change my routine. From today i am updating my journal regularly.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 03, 2019, 12:17:58 PM
I have also this problem. But i overcomed it by seeing new movies when i not able to sleep.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 07, 2019, 10:08:06 AM
                                              Day 1 @ 7/3/2019



Day 1 : Today i suffered from higher levels of depression and anxiety no drive to do anything i slept till 8:30 AM and after that @ afternoon. I worked out eat healthy and this is my positive side. I also experiencing mood swings and it really made me miserable. This addiction is really tough to crack but if you cracked it you will find freedom inside. I made my daily routine and now i am following very strictly. Lets see how it works in my journey.



                      NEVER EVER GIVE UP REBOOTERS LET'S WALK TOGETHER ON THIS PATH :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Tempted on March 07, 2019, 10:22:18 AM
Keep going man, you can do it. I am also starting my journey again currently. I noticed that I learned quite a few things about my triggers and dangerous situations during my past months of relapsing. These new insights really help me right now.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 08, 2019, 09:38:35 AM
Keep going man, you can do it. I am also starting my journey again currently. I noticed that I learned quite a few things about my triggers and dangerous situations during my past months of relapsing. These new insights really help me right now.

Yeah Man! We can do it!  :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 08, 2019, 09:46:47 AM
                                     Day 2 @ 8-3-2019


  Clean day no urges, anxiety reduced and felt better. Sleep quality was good and no headache at all. I also worked out and eat healthy. Really great start of pmo free  journey :)



                                      “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese proverb
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 09, 2019, 12:23:52 AM
                                          DAY:3 @ 9-3-2019


 Another clean day  :) i worked out, eat healthy but cant able to sleep because of withdrawals so i watched Captain Marvel movie and then sleep at 2 AM.



                 

                   Recovery is not for people who need it, it’s for people who want it.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 10, 2019, 12:21:39 AM
                          DAY 4 @ 10-3-2019


 Faced really strong urges and cant able to sleep at night but i tried to calm down myself also i had strong headache. This happening because of brain plasticity and pain is normal in this process so be calm  :) Lets see how it goes but now i am prepared for it and this time i will complete my goal :)


                                    Recovery is something that you have to work on every single day and it’s something that doesn’t get a day off.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 11, 2019, 03:52:23 AM
Day 5 @ 11-3-2019

  I relapsed once again. I can't able to sleep and then I turn into phone and after that I can't control myself. I relapsed 2 times. This year I relapsed 10 times totally weak inside but still I am not giving up. I have drive to change. After writing this journal I will write down my morning and night routine and strictly follow it because most of the time I relapse @ night and it is because of sleep problem so if I manage to sleep as early as possible and wake up early I will improve my energy levels and it also support my pmo free journey but because of withdrawals I can't able to sleep and I need p to fix my dopamine that's why I relapsed. I also committed to do yoga and meditation daily but because of laziness it can't consistent. But now I got wake up call and it's best time to change. Only you and you can change yourself nothing else. From Tomorrow I will start counting days. :)



 It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t. It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Tempted on March 11, 2019, 04:15:11 AM
Dont let it take you down. I relapsed plenty of times but I am feeling good and positive right now. You seem to have a very healthy attitude and the drive. You will get there! Porn is a sneaky one, I personally had to get rid of all social media which might even show me a good looking girl, I am/was just that conditioned by porn to think women=hardcore sex. Currently on my own day 5 and I hope I push trough, I never reached 7 days before :D.

Keep going man, maybe charge your phone away from your bed, so you cant look at it while you are lying down?
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 12, 2019, 11:14:16 AM
Dont let it take you down. I relapsed plenty of times but I am feeling good and positive right now. You seem to have a very healthy attitude and the drive. You will get there! Porn is a sneaky one, I personally had to get rid of all social media which might even show me a good looking girl, I am/was just that conditioned by porn to think women=hardcore sex. Currently on my own day 5 and I hope I push trough, I never reached 7 days before :D.

Keep going man, maybe charge your phone away from your bed, so you cant look at it while you are lying down?
Thanks for your wise words and support :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 12, 2019, 11:25:24 AM
Day 1 @ 12-4-19

Today I feel really tired I want to give up my life, stress levels spiked like crazy and my mood was always changing. I talked with people's with aggression. One of my (female) friend want to talk with me but I ignored her. I felt really bad about my behaviour. I also thought about commiting suicide because of pain but  I really want to go through this pain to change my heart. It's tough time but I feel really proud to complete my 1st day PMO free. :)



   You don’t get over an addiction by stopping using. You recovery by creating a new life where it’s easier to not use. If you don’t create a new life, then all the factors that brought you to your addiction will catch up with you gain.


   
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on March 12, 2019, 10:02:49 PM
You definitely something to be proud of! 1 Day is the first step and I can be a really hard one! When you start rebooting, it's the perfect time to check everything that you need to improve in your life and yourself!

You have to improve both together, because they are both in cause storywise! You're here because you want to take action. You're more than capable to beat the shit out of this crappy addiction. Time will be hard, but remember that freedom, control and knowledge of yourself is what is waiting for you at the end of this journey! Maybe more if you reflected on the integrity of your life and yourself!!

Stay strong, my friend!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 13, 2019, 10:27:45 AM
Relapsed 2 times feeling really depressed
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on March 13, 2019, 10:58:39 AM
Calm down! If you keep beating yourself you won't ever break the cycle!! You won't feeling better and start progressing until you understand that!

You're doing what I was doing! Since I stop doing that, things slowly start to improve! It took a some time to reach that point where I'm more confident in my futur, but it's only by looking how you can improve things and keep tweaking what's needed to be that you can reach this state!!

I'm sorry for your relapse! You need to be careful of your thoughts!! They can easely make you lose all the progress you've made no matter how big or small the progress was!

Hope it will help you! Stay strong, my friend!!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 14, 2019, 09:46:00 AM
Calm down! If you keep beating yourself you won't ever break the cycle!! You won't feeling better and start progressing until you understand that!

You're doing what I was doing! Since I stop doing that, things slowly start to improve! It took a some time to reach that point where I'm more confident in my futur, but it's only by looking how you can improve things and keep tweaking what's needed to be that you can reach this state!!

I'm sorry for your relapse! You need to be careful of your thoughts!! They can easely make you lose all the progress you've made no matter how big or small the progress was!

Hope it will help you! Stay strong, my friend!!
Dear Rebooter2019
 Thank you for taking the time to share all of that great information with me. Your support, encouragement and advice have been extremely helpful. I now feel confident  :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 14, 2019, 09:53:24 AM
                              Day 1 at 14-3-2019
  Today I meditate and did yoga.once again i prepared to change. In life we make so many mistakes but important thing is to awake and keep improving yourself, keep learning from your mistakes. I also uninstall all social media apps and now my next step is reducing use of internet. This is final attempt and this time I will fix my brain dopamin.

Never ever give up
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 15, 2019, 09:48:59 AM
Relapsed two times at late night because of insomnia.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on March 15, 2019, 09:54:41 AM
Relapsed two times at late night because of insomnia.

I had that a couple of time! One thing you could try is to get up and do something, after a while you may feel tired and you will be able ro go sleep! Try it, otherwise, you could get up freeze cold shower your head or your whole body! It worked for one of my friend that is rebooting!

Don't give up man, you can do it!!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 16, 2019, 04:59:15 AM
Once again relapsed because of insomnia. feeling really tired because of headache.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 16, 2019, 05:01:19 AM
Once again relapsed because of insomnia. feeling really tired because of headache.

 Yeah man will find a solution.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 18, 2019, 08:48:14 AM
Day 2 at 18-3-19
 Yesterday I was really busy so I can't make journal. I am on day 2.Last week was really terrible for me but I learned lot of things from relapse. Now my goal is to everyday update my journal till rebooting.  :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 18, 2019, 11:21:01 PM
Relapsed at 19-3-19
 Once again i made a same mistake  because of insomnia I can't able to sleep and then turn into phone and after some time I relapsed.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Rebooter2019 on March 19, 2019, 11:25:19 AM
Relapsed at 19-3-19
 Once again i made a same mistake  because of insomnia I can't able to sleep and then turn into phone and after some time I relapsed.

Try put you phone the as far as you can from you during night time and keep a book close! Not a story book cause they may contain trigger, but more like informations book! That way if you can't sleep instead of going on your phone you can read the book!

Try that man! Sorry about your relapse!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 20, 2019, 01:48:19 AM
Relapsed at 19-3-19
 Once again i made a same mistake  because of insomnia I can't able to sleep and then turn into phone and after some time I relapsed.

Try put you phone the as far as you can from you during night time and keep a book close! Not a story book cause they may contain trigger, but more like informations book! That way if you can't sleep instead of going on your phone you can read the book!

Try that man! Sorry about your relapse!

Yeah man I will do it.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 20, 2019, 01:54:52 AM
Day 1 at 20-3-19

Good start did yoga, meditation and also studied 2 hour's. Revised my goals and now ready for work on it. I also changed my sleeping pattern and timing. I used my phone and laptop for only work. Great start once again.

Take a small steps for Giant Improvement's.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 20, 2019, 11:11:42 AM
Day 1 at 20-3-19

Good start did yoga, meditation and also studied 2 hour's. Revised my goals and now ready for work on it. I also changed my sleeping pattern and timing. I used my phone and laptop for only work. Great start once again.

Take a small steps for Giant Improvement's.
I also started today
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 21, 2019, 11:31:09 AM
Yesterday I relapsed

           Day 1 at 21- 3-2019
 Yesterday I relapsed 2 times. I was really tired now want to end this but always caught on addiction cycle. Now I am really serious about recovery and my main goal of life in present to recovered from this addiction. Day 1 is clean.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 22, 2019, 06:33:09 AM
Once again i relapsed yesterday at late night.
 
Day 1 at 22-3-2019

Today I worked out, eat healthy did yoga and meditation. Yesterday i relapsed but I don't waste my time to regret about my situation.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 22, 2019, 11:51:47 PM
Day 2 at 23-3-2019
      Same Routine I followed. I think yoga is best medicine for this addiction but you must have practice consistently otherwise you fall in trap of addiction. Now i am practicing yoga regularly. It's really helping me.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 24, 2019, 02:38:13 AM
Once again relapsed 2 times at 24-3-2019
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 25, 2019, 02:14:10 AM
Day 1 at 25-3-2019

     Yesterday I relapsed I feel really depressed then I called my accountability partner do or die and talked about withdrawals, addiction. The conversation was really awesome and once again i motivated for reboot challenge. I am really lucky that I found reboot nation and accountability partner like you. Thanks for giving me such a great advice for reboot this time we will change our brain.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 25, 2019, 06:33:16 AM
Definitely bro.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 25, 2019, 06:35:41 AM
I am at day two bro. See because of my right thinking to capture all urges i am successfully completed day 1.
As you notice you see that day 1 is always hard.
But if you know your triggers well and make plan to conquer it then its possible
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 25, 2019, 10:53:35 PM
  Ok i got it. :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 25, 2019, 11:09:51 PM
                                                       Day 2 at  26-3-2019

 Good day but faced withdrawals too. Insomnia, headache always troubling me. Now i decide to sleep as early as possible at night.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 25, 2019, 11:29:29 PM
I also facing same things
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 26, 2019, 10:40:40 PM
I also facing same things

Yeah! Withdrawals are really strong keep strong mate.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 26, 2019, 11:02:18 PM
                                                      Day 3 at 27-3-19

    Faced same withdrawals. Always had headache and low energy but i am happy because after long time i am on day 3 :)



                                 “I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.”
― Edgar Allan Poe
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 26, 2019, 11:15:56 PM
The video we seen is stored in our brain memory. So we need to reboot till that memories won't appear automatically.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 27, 2019, 11:03:43 PM
     Absolutely!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 27, 2019, 11:09:55 PM
Day 4 at 28-3-2019
  I had Crazy nightmares at night can't able to sleep so started watching Netflix series 'Strangers' and in the middle of 1 st episode there was scene get me really strong triggers but I control my self. Really tired now. 
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 28, 2019, 05:27:20 AM
Keep going we can do it
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 28, 2019, 09:13:20 PM
Be carefull about urges bro.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 28, 2019, 11:16:25 PM
Be carefull about urges bro.

   Always!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 28, 2019, 11:25:56 PM
                  Day 5 at 29-3-2019
   Another tired day, watched all day Netflix series there are some scenes triggered me but my little friend just numb now. Brain plasticity is really long process but I enjoying it. :) Two days to go complete my first goal and first step of journey. Never give up
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: username is not available on March 28, 2019, 11:29:04 PM
Damn man so many relapses and you're still going strong that's good
Having sex is an animal instinct and that's so hard to stop

When you relapse are you watching porn or just jacking off?
If you're watching porn id suggest allowing you only to jerk off without porn before stopping completely if you're about to relapse

When I reach a certain amount of days I'll allow myself to jerk off without porn a couple of of times a year
But I plan never to watch porn ever again

I wish you a good reboot keep going man we're gunna make it some day
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 28, 2019, 11:43:50 PM
Damn man so many relapses and you're still going strong that's good
Having sex is an animal instinct and that's so hard to stop

When you relapse are you watching porn or just jacking off?
If you're watching porn id suggest allowing you only to jerk off without porn before stopping completely if you're about to relapse

When I reach a certain amount of days I'll allow myself to jerk off without porn a couple of of times a year
But I plan never to watch porn ever again

I wish you a good reboot keep going man we're gunna make it some day

    When I was teen I only jerked of and never felt any kind numbness, brain fog etc. But after watching porn my habit changed and I jerked of by watching porn and now I am facing flatline so I can't able to hold strong erections but when I watched porn my erections are really strong so for change I am trying to follow Hard mode for 3 months. By the way thanks for comment and motivation. :)
 
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on March 29, 2019, 12:35:21 AM
you are on day 5.
please note that now your brain tricks you to accedently watch porn. so be aware and be successfull.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 30, 2019, 12:14:55 AM
you are on day 5.
please note that now your brain tricks you to accedently watch porn. so be aware and be successfull.

  Yesterday exactly same thing happened with me at late night but I control myself. I got really strong urges but I told myself you can do it man! You are not slave of this addiction and you can control it I literally convinced my mind and after 1 hour I slept. Insomnia is a biggest reason of relapsing and it's common withdrawal of all  kind of addiction so make sure that you do something about it. In past 5 days I nothing did productive but now I am ready for add some weapon to fight against this evil. I decided now to do yoga,meditation and any kind of physical activity every day in past I worked on this things but my mind can't able to consistent and after few days I relapsed.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on March 30, 2019, 12:27:21 AM
                                 Day 6 at 30-3-2019
    After long time I felt really confident. I talked with girls my anxiety levels are dropped and I feel very energetic. I only suffering from one withdrawal and that is insomnia. Now I am going to complete 1st goal of my mission and I knew in next week this evil will try to break me, played with my mind but now I am strong enough to fight. Next week is really important to me because most of the time I relapsed in this phase.     


Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
                   
                   
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on April 01, 2019, 02:45:05 AM
    Day 8 at 1-4-2019

     Going through crazy headache I feel my head is going to smash it really soon. Insomnia make me freak I literally slept only two hours. Really tough time i never experienced such things before. Day 8 is really tough to me. This journey is really tough but you have to keep moving forward!
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on April 01, 2019, 07:07:18 AM
Congrats brother.
Take how your body response seriously.
Leave this addiction completely
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on April 01, 2019, 11:28:35 PM
     This is possible because of your support. :)
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on April 01, 2019, 11:32:10 PM
            Day 9 at  2-4-2019
 
      Faced same withdrawals as yesterday. Flatline starts now.My dick is totally dead.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on April 02, 2019, 08:40:41 AM
Yes brother. I also doing daily meditation. Now today i am at day 2.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on April 03, 2019, 11:46:25 PM
you are at day 11 today.
keep in mind that if you relapsed you leave everything you has now. 11 days is bigger success. keep your aye on urges. do daily mindfulness meditation.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on April 06, 2019, 03:55:20 AM
                    Day 14 at 6-4-19 

       Past few days i was busy so cant able to open this site. After a long time I reached on day 14th i am really happy. Next week is also really important to me.  Now i am strong enough to fight urges. Thanks to my accountability partner Do Or Die.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on April 06, 2019, 11:57:17 PM
                    Day 14 at 6-4-19  welcome bro. Be prepared for all things. You can do it.

       Past few days i was busy so cant able to open this site. After a long time I reached on day 14th i am really happy. Next week is also really important to me.  Now i am strong enough to fight urges. Thanks to my accountability partner Do Or Die.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: pruthukkc on April 07, 2019, 04:47:49 AM
   Day 15 at 7-4-2019


   Whole day felt depress and can't focus in any thing.  Woke up late.  I felt really tired and my dick is totally numb I feel like I lose something inside me.  Always thinking about committing suicide. Tough time is coming and it's just start now.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on April 07, 2019, 07:09:18 AM
Learn something new . like any sport or other something.
Title: Re: Connecting the dots ( This year i will change)
Post by: Do or die on April 09, 2019, 07:05:45 AM
You did it bro. Now don't release at any cost. Remember you are not able to live life normally because of this addiction. So leave this totally. Be free from it. Take responsibility on your own to reboot your friends also. And if you want help others first help yourself by fighting this addiction.
You did it . your only need is to do it every day.

To avoid this shit every day. To ignore that addiction who destroyed your normal life.