Reboot Nation

Reboot Nation Forum => Partners of Rebooters and Addicts => Topic started by: aquarius25 on September 18, 2018, 10:14:01 AM

Title: Does it feel like sexualization is starting at younger ages?
Post by: aquarius25 on September 18, 2018, 10:14:01 AM
I did post a bit about this in my journal but thought I would post here as well to hear other opinions about this. I am noticing things as my kids get older. The main things we have been dealing with is the fact that my 8 year old daughter is being tease for hairy legs. She is 8! Why do kids care how smooth or hairy an 8yr olds legs are? To me that is kind of sick. I don't understand. She holds her own and just tell them it's none of their business and that is how God made her. She is strong and doesn't let them see her pain, but it is still there. She has asked countless times to shave or even wax her legs. I have talk to her about all side of this but she said she doesn't care, she is tired of getting teased. It's both boys and girls that tease her too! She even gets comments at girl scouts!
Thoughts, advice, input would be greatly appreciated.
Title: Re: Does it feel like sexualization is starting at younger ages?
Post by: mousemat1 on September 19, 2018, 03:21:31 PM
It's a worrying trend. I have friends who have children and they are having the same issues with their daughter who wants short skirts and make up and she's only 11 or 12.

The last time I watched a music video it was like porn. Latex clothes, suggestive dance moves and heavy make-up. If you cast a glance as some music videos aimed at adolescents they can be quite provocative. I don't understand why. There needs to be a real cultural shift to reverse this trend but money talks. Smoking will never be made illegal regardless of how many people it kills. There is too much money to be made. Overtly sexual pop videos for kids don't make much sense until you realise that they are the consumers of tomorrow. Cereal manufacturers put a lot of effort into catching children when they are young because they want to train them to be adult consumers of their products too. It's careful marketing and research to ensure your clients are buying your product for a life time and hopefully you'll pass the habit onto your own kids.

I don't understand the endgame with sexualised imagery for children. What are they being groomed for? Who is actually behind this kind of video? Are porn producers and video producers one and the same? I don't think so, but I might be wrong.

The only thing you can do is to try and delay this development as much as possible. Unfortunately, you daughter probably spends more waking hours with her friends at school than she does with you. The power of external influences is often too strong and your voice of reason is carried away in the gale of them.
Title: Re: Does it feel like sexualization is starting at younger ages?
Post by: aquarius25 on September 19, 2018, 06:38:54 PM
Mousemat 1, thank for the reply. I understand the frustration. Thankfully we home school so the friend influence isn't at bad. The only reason she wants to shave is because she is getting picked on. I am just not understanding why they would pick on her in the first place. Why do kids even are if her legs have hair? When I was her age I never remember noticing things like that, we were too wrapped up in playing games. It feels like there is pressure at younger ages for kids to not only grow up and to put the culture norm of what is deemed attractive upon others, even if the others don't want those labels.  It bothers her that other kids make her feel ashamed of her legs, I just really don't understand why at 8 yrs old, 3rd grade for goodness sake, this is an issue.
Title: Re: Does it feel like sexualization is starting at younger ages?
Post by: Finwë on September 19, 2018, 06:48:20 PM
I agree about the oversexualization of youth and youth environment, but what you described sounds like normal childhood teasing. Kids will pick on eachother for almost anything. Aggression unfortunately appears to be deeply and naturally ingrained into the psyches of most people from birth.

Hairly legs are quite odd for a girl of that age so they're probably teasing her with that motivation. I'm not there so I don't know but it doesn't sound like there's any sexual undercurrent.
Title: Re: Does it feel like sexualization is starting at younger ages?
Post by: mousemat1 on September 20, 2018, 01:46:16 AM
The strange thing is why 8 year old kids are even thinking about removing the hair from their legs. Perhaps they have seen advertisements for hair removal cream on TV and are influenced in this way.
Title: Re: Does it feel like sexualization is starting at younger ages?
Post by: Emerald Blue on October 09, 2018, 07:14:42 PM
You are absolutely correct about the sexualisation of kids, especially as kids have easy access to social media where they see so much sexualised content, and not only that but the whole body image/diet culture thing that is so toxic. I’m sure you know all about the lollipops that are supposed to promote weight loss, and Victoria’s Secret using girls as young as 5 years old on runway shows in China. I’m just grateful that I didn’t have to deal with all this with my girl 20 years ago, certainly not to the same extent.

I suggest you get hold of a copy of So Sexy, So Soon by Jean Kilbourne. She is also the author/speaker of Killing Us Softly which questions media representations of women, and even though her original lecture was in 1979, she says representations of women (and girls) are arguably worse now. Another book to look at is The Lolita Effect by M Gigi Durham, which examines the influences of pop culture on girls (and boys). I think as a parent, these books might give you some kind of a perspective on the very problem you are facing today. Sadly, there’s just not enough discussion about these concerns, particularly the focus on physical appearance as being the most important thing about a girl or a woman, instead of focusing on achievement, skill, talent, ability etc.

Title: Re: Does it feel like sexualization is starting at younger ages?
Post by: Mayer on October 13, 2018, 05:24:04 PM
I know exactly how you feel, we have a 7 year old daughter and 3 sons, 2 of which are older. Thankfully we home school and we started homeschooling 6 years ago. We have limited their external influences from highly sexualized content, they get the odd advert on YouTube but nothing too bad. I have noticed the oldest boy getting interested in girls more so we need to keep this to a natural progression rather than an over stimulation and I think the restrictions we have in place on our devices work well. Our daughter is very girly and loves to beautify herself and dress up, and we haven't pushed any of this at all, its just something she loves to do. I am worried about her and the boys getting older and more influenced by the highly sexualized culture we have, I hope that bringing them up with understanding of this will prepare them, help them not to get drawn into it. We just have to be there for support for them.

Title: Re: Does it feel like sexualization is starting at younger ages?
Post by: aquarius25 on October 15, 2018, 03:26:22 PM
Thanks for all the comments and thank for the book recommendations EB! We have had a long talk, this is just the world we are in. It is not ok at all but we do need to learn how to live in this world. I have prepared her as best I can and will continue to do so. The same boy picking on her has also made other comments about her body. I wasn't aware until we started asking questions and she mention some of the other things he said. She didn't actually know what any of the things were so she didn't say anything. She didn't even know they were sexual comments. We have talked with his parents as well and I feel like we have some better boundaries in place. What I am realizing is that he has been bullied at school and is processing that frustration and expressing it on my daughter. This is  exactly my point from the beginning its just too young an age for any of these kids to be dealing with this. My heart breaks for this boy just as it does for my daughter. This culture isn't ok. We homeschool but you can't shield them from everything. They have friends who go to public school and so they will be exposed, maybe not as often but still. We talked with him and his parents and my daughter about the attitude and culture we want to build in our neighborhood. We want this to be a safe space where kids can be welcome and free of all the crap in the world to the best of our abilities. I am glad we have an agreement and resolution but I am also sad that it is a problem in the first place.