Reboot Nation

Journals => Ages 20-29 => Topic started by: Red45 on February 25, 2018, 09:46:04 PM

Title: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on February 25, 2018, 09:46:04 PM
Hey all,

Im a 26 year old male, perfectly healthy, have a good job that pays well, my own car and go to the gym regularly. My biggest problem? PIED.

I was VERY young when i started watching porn, i was looking at softcore porn around the age of 8 or 9 years old. I didnt get a computer at home until the 7th grade and thats when things got bad. I would watch and masturbate to porn daily. I never got into anything extreme, just the typical guy-girl stuff. I lost my virginity at 22 so im pretty sure my brain has been wired to porn and the sensastion of my own hand

Whenever I try to have sex with a girl I never last, during the initial oral im usually done and if I do make it to actualy intercourse im usually 60% and will finish after a couple pumps. Ive been on this program on-and-off for 2 years or so, but my 26th birthday just passed and im sick of living my life this way. Im afraid of a real relationship because I know once the moment for sex arrives I will disappoint. The last time i was with a woman (about a month ago) she was naked and grinding/teasing me and i felt fine, my buddy was ready, but as soon as she put the condom on and laid down for me to "do the deed" i finished without even entering her.

This times does feel different though, as I type this I am on day 24 of hardmode (No PMO). I will admit in these 24 days i have gotten weak 4 or 5 times and gone to certain twitter pages and read about porn scenes, but i never looked at any images or videos, and if any did show up I have quickly looked away or shut them down. I know this is wrong, but I dont consider it a full relapse because I dont actually look at any porn and im working on stopping it altogether, and its not worth a full reset, imo.

I do feel very good in these last 24 days, more energy, a more intense sexual desire, ive had 2 wet dreams so far, so im anticipating a lot more. When im in the shower and just washing myself, just my hand rubbing against my penis gives me 60% hard on. Ive been noticing morning wood, which I NEVER used to get, so that feels great. I was watching The Punisher on Netflix (great show BTW) and there was a sex scene, and idk what it was, but I was very aroused by it, in a way that mainstream sex scenes have never previously done before.

I know this is only day 24 but I really want to commit to this, thats partially why I started this journal, so I hope to update everyone once a day or at least twice a day. I plan on sticking to hardmode for the full 90 (unless in that time I can get a real girl) amd after 90 days ill actively start pursuing sex to see any results.

My advice to anyone reading this? Would you rather watch a hot girl having sex? Or do you want to be the one having sex with her? Thats been enough motivation for me in these last 24 days

Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on March 04, 2018, 10:42:01 PM
So ive made it to day 31...I feel like ive hit a flatline, my sexual energy is very low, im dont have much confidence and im generally not in the best of mood. Im excited to  be at this point because the longest ive ever made it was 36 days or so, so im anticipating breaking that record. I get morning wood now, which feels good, its not rock hard and consistent like it should be, but it will eventually get there. I havent had a wet dream in long time, which is concerning, i thought I would be having them more frequently at this point, but im sure they will come.

I have been spending a lot of time Tinder, not because im oggling hot women, but im geniuenly looking for something serious, and I dont know where else to go. I am very nervous if I do go on a date and im "called" to have sex, I wont be able to come through, but thats something I dont want to think on too much.

Im hoping to check back in around day 40, so stick with it everyone!
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on March 12, 2018, 12:03:16 AM
Day 39

Its been a real rollercoaster of emotions as of late. Some days im horny and feeling great, and other days im down in the dumps and have the sex drive an 80 year old man. This is all to be expected based on the stuff ive been reading, so its been reassuring. Ive had a wetdream since my last journal entry, so thats good.

One thing ive noticed and was not expecting is I have very little desire to watch porn. As long as i keep myself busy I dont think about porn. Ive did that thing where ive read about porn scenes, but since my last entry ive only done it once. Im also happy to be coming up towards the half way mark, ive never rebooted this long before, and the idea of having a healthy sex life is so motivating, I just hope I can cure myself and be normal
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on March 18, 2018, 01:05:41 PM
Day 45

So ive offically hit the half way point of my journey and its a great feeling, ive never made it this far before and I feel so confident that I set a goal and im able to stick to it for so long. I feel more confident and ive been able to cut some toxic people out of my life and start surrounding myself with new people who are more positive. Im getting random erections through the day and ive gotten 1 or 2 wetdreams since my last update so it looks like my body is healing. I know my recovery is going to be longer than most because I started porn so young and im just hoping I can heal by summertime.

Im still nervous about sex, its the biggest obstacle in me starting a relationship, so im hoping these last 45 days have done my body good...heres hoping! On to the next 45!
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Jz15 on March 18, 2018, 03:49:44 PM
man im in the same boat although my problem is due to porn escalation my libido is close to zero with real life girls and my thing won't go up... it sucks when there are girls who like you and you know you are disabled
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on July 27, 2018, 02:14:41 AM
Day 25

So i hit a bit of a snag...i releapsed. Fucked up. I relapsed a while back and I realize that my problem was continuing "porn like behavior" i would check twitter almost every day and read about the new porn scenes coming out. I would even start a little bit of the trailer and click away before any sex started (but secretly i know i wanted to catch a glimpse of sex)

Why am i here at posting again? And why am I on Day 25? A girl.

I found a girl i REALLY like and is into me too. But im TERRIFIED of sex with her, because I know I will disappoint, its embarrassing and possibly a deal-breaker. Ive only been seeing this girl for about a week now (i was doing hardmode before meeting her). But ive gone 25 straight days in hardmode...absolutely no porn, no twitter, no IG models, nothing. I feel like i have a new motivation, I want this to work out so badly that im willing to commit 110%

As far as how I feel? I have little feeling down there, im attracted to girls when I see them, but nothing really happens down low. I was getting semi-MW but its not every day, and ive only had like 1 or 2 WD since starting

So yeah, this thing really is a journey, I fucked up, but I gotta own my mistakes and learn to not make them again
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on August 01, 2018, 01:38:33 AM
Day 30

1/3 of the way the there

I generally feel pretty good. Ive only had 2 or 3 wetdreams since going hardmode but I have a feeling more will come soon. Ive got a date with this girl friday, which im excited about, shes become my motivation to commit to hardmode. Ive successfully stayed away from all temptations since starting so thats something im proud of, especially considering my last attempt I had a lot of porn-like substitute behavior.

I do notice I go through some mood swings, where i question being with this girl because I know I cant perform sexually. Ive considering see a doctor and trying to get a prescription for viagra but i need to see how my body feels once i hit the half-way mark

My penis has been pretty dead recently. Although i do notice when I take naps I get morning wood. I also get morning wood in the morning but its not consistent

Here's to 1/3. My brain is fucked so hopefully i come through this sooner rather than later
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on August 06, 2018, 08:28:41 PM
Day 35

Feeling better. Feeling a lot more horny, more confident, talking to women and dancing with them when i go out to clubs. No real change in my penis, i think i had 1 wetdream since my last post, random erections in the morning, i even got a random erection at work while i was at work. I wasnt fully hard but i guess it was something

Im staying really clean, no porn substitute, no edging, even unfollowed  the IG models i used to follow. Gotta stay strong
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Recovery Will Come on August 07, 2018, 01:53:54 AM
Keep up the good work... I also would temporarily get rid of social media like Facebook and Instagram... Makes the reboot easier... To many possible triggers and that’s how I relasped during my last reboot when I made it to 64 days... Good Luck you got this!!
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: johnleesmith65 on August 09, 2018, 08:47:19 PM
Good job buddy.
I am glad.
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on August 11, 2018, 12:43:00 PM
^^thanks for the support guys it really does mean a lot, do either of you have journals? I would like to read them and give my support

Day 40

I was taking a nap the other day and had 2 very vivid sex dreams,  i didnt have a WD but it was odd how real those dreams felt. Overall im really excited that i got this far 100% clean, ive had little desire to watch porn, i did have some cravings recently but turned it away pretty quickly. Its exciting to get to the halfway point and really start the healing, i think my confidence has gone up but my penis still has a long ways to go

Also, in case anyone was wondering me and that girl didnt workout lol, which is unfortunate because she was a great girl, but shes given me something more...motivation. The worst feeling in the world is when you meet a girl and you know you can perform, shes helped me never want to watch porn again

Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Recovery Will Come on August 11, 2018, 02:01:10 PM
He’s I have my journal called Road To Recovery Pt 2
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on August 16, 2018, 01:09:59 PM
Day 45

Half way. Half way. Im really happy that ive stayed 100% clean, as i mentioned before, my previous attempt had a lot of porn substitutes (browsing porn websites, reading porn forums, pornstar twitters, igs, etc.). Ive stayed commited and that is the best part

I can feel myself getting more aroused, the other day i woke up and i was really horny and basically started dry humping my pillow, i had to stop myself but it was that weird phase inbetween sleeping and being awake. I also met a girl at the club last week, got her number and fantisized having sex with her for like 5 mins (which is a long time).

Ive been getting random morning wood, like 60% hard and it goes away really happy im halfway through my journey, im at the peak of the mountain and now i just need to walk back down.
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on August 23, 2018, 02:47:51 AM
Day 51

I feel like ive lost some of my progress :(

The temptations have been crazy these last few days. I was watching celebrity Fear Factor and there was this crazy hot girl, but they didnt mention who she was, so i googled her, only to find out she was Janice Griffith, a pornstar, and i got huge temptations and even went to her IG to see if it was really her. I never saw any nudity or sex, but I should have been stronger.

Ive been slipping on IG lately also, Worldstar often posts hot girls on their account and ive fallen into watching some and even following some of the girls (ive unfollowed them once I regained control though)

I used to get morning wood frequently and now it seems to have gone a little and I dont see it as often (I had an intense WD recently too)

I cant wait to hit 60 though, its right there and I know I can do so excited to finally become a man and start a new chapter
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on August 26, 2018, 08:25:12 PM
Day 55

Definitely in a flatline, man this sucks. My penis feels dead, i have little desire to talk to females, and to make things worse ive gained a little weight (i still work out often, ive just been eating poorly lately). If anything good has been happening, ive been getting random morning woods. These last 10 days have been the hardest since I started my journey, I feel little desire or confidence

Anyways, day 60 is coming up, so we're getting close to the end
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on September 05, 2018, 04:25:53 PM
Day 65

Still in the flatline :(

MW is kind of gone, not really turned on by girls i see around and I havent really touched my penis in the last 2 months so I cant tell if ive made any progress. If anything, i feel more confident, although I havent tested it im pretty sure I can control my PE...but again havent tested it

Im really anxious to get past 90 days so I can test myself with an actual girl. Pray for me guys!

Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on September 16, 2018, 08:21:12 PM
Day 76

Feeling a lot better lately, ive come out of the flatline ive been in the last 10 days or so, I dont have any "superpowers" but ive been getting random erections MW anymore but i woke up from  a nap the other day and had a rock hard erection. I have no real desire to watch porn, ive come farther than I ever have before and im not going to fuck it just really anxious to get past 90 days and try having sex with an actual girl to see if ive made any progress. Overall though I do have a lot more confidence, which is good but im ready for the next step

Something weird the other day, I had a sex dream and it felt like a wetdream (super intense, i was hard and I even woke up in the middle of the night) but no cum...idk what that means but just thought I would share

Only 2 weeks left!
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Stiffy on September 16, 2018, 11:52:34 PM
I’d recommend unfollowing worldstar. It has reduced temptation for me quite a bit cleaning up who I was following on ig.
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on September 17, 2018, 08:35:52 AM
I’d recommend unfollowing worldstar. It has reduced temptation for me quite a bit cleaning up who I was following on ig.

Ive unfollowed all the IG models, so that helps a  lot, im not worried about relapse because im so committed to my goal, im just worried about healing my PE. Worldstar does have some funny stuff I enjoy watching, and whenever they do post hot girls I usually just look away really quickly
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Quitforeverthenwin on September 19, 2018, 08:02:04 PM
Way to go RED! You are past 70 days, very inspiring to see. Glad to hear that you are very committed.  Keep up the good work.
Title: Re: Lets get it done
Post by: Red45 on September 27, 2018, 01:09:54 AM
^ Thanks for the kind words

Day 87

I wish I had some superpowers to report, but sadly not, I honestly feel dead below the waist. No random erections, no MW, whe  I go out I dont have the same passion and intensity I had around the middle of my recovery. I have been slipping back to old ways, creeping on IG models, it hasnt lead to any porn use, but its still not what I want to do at this point. I think I need to start focusing on rewiring now, being with actual women...I know its going to be bad at first, but if I can last even 30 seconds it will be a major improvement. My biggest fear is that I finally end up with a girl and theres not change in my body at all and I finish in 10 seconds :(

I guess this is a flatline and im one of those people who will take a much longer time, but ill still continue to commit to this recovery