Same as quitting smoking?

So I came across this whole "Reboot" thing last year and thought, makes sense, for THOSE guys. I obviously had all the symptoms but thought "I'm not addicted. For me porn is just a cheap thrill. Something to indulge in when not in the mood of facing human interaction."

I've always found human interaction straining, especially with strangers. I'm an Enneagram Type 5 (http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/) which predisposes me to watching, rather than participating.

When I was at school porn didn't exist really (was illegal in my country) so the little we did get to see was a super exciting dopamine overload. My sexual relationships were normal for a teenage kid I guess. It was only really when I went to varsity, started secluding myself from other and porn became legal, that things changed. I can see now that since then all sexual relationships where framed by porn. The way that I/others should look/behave/react sexually was all from a porn movie script.

Long story short, I tried rebooting for about 9 months now, but recognise that it has been half-hearted. I let myself have "little" concessions like "it's OK if it's only and image, and not a full blown porn movie". I recognise now that my behaviour has in fact not changed at all! I know this because I quit smoking 10 years ago (the most difficult thing ever!!) and I am fully aware of the total commitment needed to re-frame one's mind.

When I steal a puff from a cigarette at a party these days, I find it disgusting, and know that it will never ever even remotely be an option for me to go back there.

Thats where I aim to go with porn.

Having smoked for 30 years and now 10 years clean and not counting I can see real similarities in the process. I tried and failed many times. Even for as long as a year, but it wasn't til I read the easy way to stop smoking that I was able to properly understand the addiction and how it created complete distortion and reversal of primary ideas, like "what pleasure is". Separating mental and physical addiction too was very helpful. Understanding that evqen where chemicals are involved the primary addiction lies in the mind. The perceived pleasure. The physical or chemical addiction can be defeated by a reasonably short period of abstinence once the mind has been reprogrammed to understand the true nature of the mental addiction. If you havent read it even if your arent a smoker it is a very interesting book from the addicts perspe tive. Anyway that is my sixpence worth, good to hear from you, southern boy! FF

For me quitting smoking was much easier than porn.
The mood swings and cravings that came, and still attack me now, were much more vicious than those i experienced with nicotine withdrawal, longer too.
But the principals are the same: recognize triggers and distract yourself from cravings and just ride it out. Itll die if you starve it to death.

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