shake19
Member
ABOUT ME
I am 23 and I have been PMO'ing for about 10 years now and I have never shared this fact with anybody (maybe except the priest - I am Christian) - this is my first time to write about it.
I am regular guy for my age, I do sports, study, work, meet with my friends, spend time with family, party. I had some nice girlfriends too, but even in that time I was PMO'ing.
Since last year I am stubbornly trying to completely reboot myself from this devastating thing.
Unfortunately my longest achievement (completely without PMO) was about 3 weeks and of course my goal is to stay away from PMO for the rest of my life.
PURPOSE OF RELAPSE
After such a long struggle I finally realised what was the purpose for my relapse.
At some point of my rebooting I permitted myself to watch some porn - and that was always the devastating trigger.
At the moment when I permitted myself to watch some porn, I always thought that I have it under control and nothing can happen to my mind. It is the biggest lie my mind can do to me.
It is not a consciousness that push me to the porn - it is my weakened brain, it is my long-lasting habit, I even call it a devil.
GAIN FROM REBOOT
For all the rebooting periods I felt like I am building my mind again.
I was becoming strong and confident. My decisions were precise and fully conscious.
I was found much more attractive for women.
I smiled a lot and I was becoming a person that I always dreamt to be.
I love that state of mind.
NOWADAYS
I am on my reboot day 2.
I feel that NOW I started my straight way to complete reboot.
I realised that I lost too many days blaming myself for PMO.
I had an oppotunity to break free from PMO for many times, but I always permitted myself to relapse.
NOW I wouldn't do this mistake again and I want to share this with you.
ADVICE
You also can do it!
I am 23 and I have been PMO'ing for about 10 years now and I have never shared this fact with anybody (maybe except the priest - I am Christian) - this is my first time to write about it.
I am regular guy for my age, I do sports, study, work, meet with my friends, spend time with family, party. I had some nice girlfriends too, but even in that time I was PMO'ing.
Since last year I am stubbornly trying to completely reboot myself from this devastating thing.
Unfortunately my longest achievement (completely without PMO) was about 3 weeks and of course my goal is to stay away from PMO for the rest of my life.
PURPOSE OF RELAPSE
After such a long struggle I finally realised what was the purpose for my relapse.
At some point of my rebooting I permitted myself to watch some porn - and that was always the devastating trigger.
At the moment when I permitted myself to watch some porn, I always thought that I have it under control and nothing can happen to my mind. It is the biggest lie my mind can do to me.
It is not a consciousness that push me to the porn - it is my weakened brain, it is my long-lasting habit, I even call it a devil.
GAIN FROM REBOOT
For all the rebooting periods I felt like I am building my mind again.
I was becoming strong and confident. My decisions were precise and fully conscious.
I was found much more attractive for women.
I smiled a lot and I was becoming a person that I always dreamt to be.
I love that state of mind.
NOWADAYS
I am on my reboot day 2.
I feel that NOW I started my straight way to complete reboot.
I realised that I lost too many days blaming myself for PMO.
I had an oppotunity to break free from PMO for many times, but I always permitted myself to relapse.
NOW I wouldn't do this mistake again and I want to share this with you.
ADVICE
You also can do it!