Becoming The Man I Want To Be

I've started quite a few journals on various porn addiction recovery forums, so I get a little tired of giving an introduction each time. Let me at least give a brief summary of my problem though. I started watching porn when I was 12 years old, and it turned into long overnight porn binges when I turned 18 and was experimenting with marijuana. I eventually quit the pot, but the porn binges have stubbornly stuck around for a long time. I started trying to quit porn when I was 19. I got into my first relationship, and successfully stayed off porn for 3 months, but I relapsed. My girlfriend and I drifted away. I haven't been in another relationship since, and I'm 25. My streaks away from porn haven't been as long over the past few years either, and I've been finding it harder to quit than when I was 19.

Now, I just want to mature out of this problem. I want to go back to school (since I dropped out), and get a job in software development. I also want to get into a relationship again and stay off porn for good.

Day 1

No porn this morning. I did masturbate though, but not to orgasm, and some thoughts of porn came up. Masturbation is not a good part of my morning routine, and it tends to throw off the rest of my day. If I'm going to do it, I would rather at least do it at night so it doesn't interfere with the productive daily routines that I want.

Welcome to the nation!  For me, not m'ing for the first month was very helpful. 

Welcome!! Keep on trucking.... I found out its best to go hard mode with no porn or masturbation... Recovery process will go much better and faster results.... Atleast for 90days.... You can do it whenever you are struggling just post in your journal for support!!!! It?s time to get rid of this awful addiction once and for all

Day 0

I haven't posted here in a while. I'm going to find it hard to organize my thoughts because my brain is shot right now from my last porn binge.

Anyway, I'm trying do whatever I can to escape this addiction again. I've installed very strong filters on my laptop and phone, and am trying to keep myself busy and cope with withdrawal.