What am I doing wrong?

I'm on day 34 of no PMO and quite honestly,  it's not going the way I expected.  I had no trouble giving up porn and masturbation, but I'm not seeing much progress.  I rarely have morning wood and if I do it's like 40% hard.  My occasional erections are caused by a random fantasy (either sexual or not), but I don't have any spontaneous ones.  The erections I do get aren't even strong. Yesterday I spent a few HOURS making out with a girl I like and had an erection for about a minute and that was it   
Also I don't know if this helps, but I've started taking cold 5 minute showers for the past 3 days and plan to continue this. 
Possible problem:  I fantasize before I go to sleep, and it's a mix of sexual and not sexual but it's not that intense.  Perhaps that's slowing me down?
Why is my progress so unimpressive?

It sounds like you are flatlining. Just keep going and it should pass, you're making great progress!

Your rate of progress is not unusual, because you have been doing this for only 34 days. Be patient. See this more as a marathon than a sprint.

To see real progress, the majority of guys need to be consistant for a few months. I had the most progress during months four to six and I still get progress in my currently ongoing ninth month.

It took my husband a year to notice real improvements.  We were having sex for around 9 months of his reboot with lots of failures.  At the 9 month mark he decided to do a two month abstinence from orgasms (we still had sex) and in that time he completely rewired and his erections came back 100%.  Unfortunately it takes a looong time for some people.  Hang in there.

I'm just going to say it;
34 days is scratching the surface. You're just entering the eye of the storm.
It's the middle passage that will kick your ass and what you're going through now
is normal.
Everyone will chime in and say how long it took them and what have you but one thing
is for sure, that one month free is merely a warm up.
I really do encourage you to not put a deadline on your progress.
You are feeling discouraged because somewhere along the line, you think 34 days is
sufficient to see some real progress. Everything you've described as far as having a hard
on here and there with no consistency, that's normal at that phase.
Keep up the good work and have faith.
This is a day by day journey. You will have good days and bad days.

Viper said:

I'm just going to say it;
34 days is scratching the surface. You're just entering the eye of the storm.
It's the middle passage that will kick your ass and what you're going through now
is normal.
Everyone will chime in and say how long it took them and what have you but one thing
is for sure, that one month free is merely a warm up.
I really do encourage you to not put a deadline on your progress.
You are feeling discouraged because somewhere along the line, you think 34 days is
sufficient to see some real progress. Everything you've described as far as having a hard
on here and there with no consistency, that's normal at that phase.
Keep up the good work and have faith.
This is a day by day journey. You will have good days and bad days.

Click to expand...

I decided to stop M altogether so it's more of a rebirth in a sense.  I don't see how it can possibly get worse from here though.  What was the middle passage for you like?

I decided to stop M altogether so it's more of a rebirth in a sense.  I don't see how it can possibly get worse from here though.  What was the middle passage for you like?

Click to expand...

Middle passage had some challenges. If you want the raw details, look up my journal in the 40's forum. I don't pull any punches.
But just because it took me x amount of days to finally have normal sex with an erection and no dick pills, doesn't mean you or anyone else will recover the same way. It may take you less....or more time. Our body physiology are all different.
Don't place any target dates. Just focus on the reboot.

grego said:

I'm on day 34 of no PMO and quite honestly,  it's not going the way I expected.  I had no trouble giving up porn and masturbation, but I'm not seeing much progress.  I rarely have morning wood and if I do it's like 40% hard.  My occasional erections are caused by a random fantasy (either sexual or not), but I don't have any spontaneous ones.  The erections I do get aren't even strong. Yesterday I spent a few HOURS making out with a girl I like and had an erection for about a minute and that was it   
Also I don't know if this helps, but I've started taking cold 5 minute showers for the past 3 days and plan to continue this. 
Possible problem:  I fantasize before I go to sleep, and it's a mix of sexual and not sexual but it's not that intense.  Perhaps that's slowing me down?
Why is my progress so unimpressive?

Click to expand...

Honestly, the reality of the situation for many rebooters these days is that it takes a lot longer than the standard 8-12 weeks to reboot. Save a few exceptions, most recovery stories take longer than that.

The speed of recovery is incredibly variable (because everyone is so different) and depends on a variety of different factors: the frequency of porn use, when you started using, how much your tastes escalated, and when you were first sexually active are all things that can influence the length it takes to recover. A lot of people what started using high-speed pornography regularly at an early age (like 10 or 11) are taking a year plus to reboot sometimes. I'd honestly take a guesstimate that the average time it takes to reboot is somewhere in-between 6 months and year (can be much longer or shorter though).  Don't let that daunt you though! There are lots of mental, physical and emotional awards along the way during rebooting that will make you feel good and keep you moving.

Make rebooting a lifestyle change. We really don't need pornography to survive, so just...cut it out. The days will pass faster with this mentality and you will be recovered before you know it.  8)

Best of luck!

fugu said:

[...]

Make rebooting a lifestyle change. We really don't need pornography to survive, so just...cut it out. The days will pass faster with this mentality and you will be recovered before you know it.  8)

Best of luck!

Click to expand...

I sometimes wonder how many guys are rebooting with the goal of going back to masturbating and especially PMO, once they are cured.