34, performance anxiety during sex. Help

I recently started seeing a very attractive girl and we had sex a few times now. It's been quite a long time for me so this is a real shock. The first time we were both rather drunk and the sex went well. I had been taking cialis for two days prior to that day so I had helps. The next morning we started having sex again. 5 minutes into it, upon changing positions, I went soft--not completely limp, but too soft to enjoy the sex. A few days later, we tried again, and again, the same problem: I changed positions and went soft. This happened twice on that day and now I'm embarrassed to say the least. She's asking all sorts of questions about what's wrong and all I can come up with is "I have anxiety" and "I have a lot of stress in my life/business/etc", and I think this might be partially true.  This last time I had been drinking beer earlier in the day, but only 3-4 so not sure if that has to do with it. Also, the last time I wasn't on cialis, but viagra.

Although I think my life stress may partially account for the ED, a bigger concern of mine is that when I was having sex with her this last time, at times during sex I would imagine her being someone quite a bit younger from a porn video I had watched months back. It's horrible, absolutely horrible--I know!!! :-[ And I hate myself for doing that. When I have this thought, I try to immediately return to reality and appreciate fucking her as she is, and enjoying the fact that I'm with a sexy desirable woman who wants me. Why can't that be enough? WTF is wrong with me? Has anyone had this problem, and do you think that accounts for the ED? Or can the ED be partially (or wholly) accounted for from some other factors?

What steps have you taken to remedy this? I need to fix this and I want to do it properly.

BTW: It's been about 2 months since my last fapping (http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=21.0) / watching porn. I have masturbated+ejaculated once about 2 weeks ago but without porn due to blue balls after make out session that resulted in no sex (btw: it did NOT help alleviate the blue balls pain). I do edge occasionally (maybe once a week). Also, I think quitting porn and masturbation has motivate me to get out there and meet women.

Sorry to hear your struggles. I'm a bit new at this as well, the best I can probably give you is some empathy. Other than that, I think the ED pills might be clouding your situation. Unless you have a legit physical issue and it's not a psychological thing, I would stop taking them.

I know it's an awful feeling when you can't get it up, and it's super easy to get down on yourself and that can snowball really easily. Try not to beat yourself up over it. If it were me, I would be as honest as you can with her, try to meet her needs with oral etc, and continue to totally stay away from the porn.

Best of luck

There's nothing wrong with you! Your sexuality has been hijacked by porn to the point that your brain needs something else to enjoy sex.  I think what you did was perfect.  Notice you are fantasizing and bring yourself back to the moment and who you are actually having sex with.  That is rewiring.  It gets easier and easier the longer you go without porn.  Those images will fade, your brain will rewire and you can remain present during sex.  Remember your brain is not used to getting pleasure from sex with a real person so it tries to go back to the old ways of fantasy.

You are doing great.  Can you tell her whats going on?  This is probably the best idea because she can help you rewire if she is willing.  Some people use ED drugs and some people don't, it's really up to you.