I have just been in a kinda perpetual depression or discouraged mode. I dont really have any drive to do things that i need to do, i guess this is as a result of the porn and masturbating. But really not that i watch and do this daily. what i discovered lately is that its only when i have quarell with my wife that i am drawn to porn. over the years she has used a lot of abusive words to me and i feel somehow i have been emotionally abused by her. the sad part is that i dont talk to anybody about it, atleast not in the sense that i wanted a solution or atleast to clear my heavy heart. I just keep everything inside and allow myself to get bugged down and so i just get up and do the very basic stuff i needed to do to pass each day.
Well please dont let me bore you with my boring marriage so far. But please i dont want you to experience this too. If you really love your girlfreind please take care of her and make sure you always always have heart to heart talk and really open up to her now and let her know the things you dont like and let her know the things that hurt you and when you fight always always talk it through and really analyse what went wrong and how to avoid it next time.
And again if really theres another lady you think you really wanted, please you are free , go for her now. I have been married for 5 yrs now and i sometimes think of atleast 1 other lady that i could have married if not that my parents warned me that they did not want me to marry someone from another tribe and even when this lady told me point blank that she wanted to go out with me and after she has told me how much she really cared about me, all these when we were in school. i ignored her though i really liked her at the time. today we are still friends and she is married but i am sure she still thinks about me and here i am not happy with my marriage.
Again am talking long stories. Am sorry but well back to porn, i just watched it a few mins ago and masturbated, wifey is not at home i am at home with my kids but they are sleeping, she travelled but before today maybe i did it once last week. and maybe before then it was like 4weeks ago. but maybe another reason is because i have not been praying and reading bible daily. You see i know some things that if i do the actively daily i will totally overcome this evil demon, but i somehow just ignore this things and let the flesh take over. i pray God will continue to have mercy on me. and help me. am posting this in the main page maybe i need some counsel or atleast some words of comfort from diff people. thank you.
MAybe you are reading this and you are christian and committed born again christian, wel dont give up like me, am still holding on, somewhere i read that God will always forgive us its just that we may never grow past this stage, so if you want to keep "repeating this class" continue to give in to the flesh but if you feel you are really more than a conqueror then lets stand up and do a way with this evil beast, we have the power.
Hope to get some counselling here, or if you have or know of a good website, please send me the link or send me a pm. thank you.
Well please dont let me bore you with my boring marriage so far. But please i dont want you to experience this too. If you really love your girlfreind please take care of her and make sure you always always have heart to heart talk and really open up to her now and let her know the things you dont like and let her know the things that hurt you and when you fight always always talk it through and really analyse what went wrong and how to avoid it next time.
And again if really theres another lady you think you really wanted, please you are free , go for her now. I have been married for 5 yrs now and i sometimes think of atleast 1 other lady that i could have married if not that my parents warned me that they did not want me to marry someone from another tribe and even when this lady told me point blank that she wanted to go out with me and after she has told me how much she really cared about me, all these when we were in school. i ignored her though i really liked her at the time. today we are still friends and she is married but i am sure she still thinks about me and here i am not happy with my marriage.
Again am talking long stories. Am sorry but well back to porn, i just watched it a few mins ago and masturbated, wifey is not at home i am at home with my kids but they are sleeping, she travelled but before today maybe i did it once last week. and maybe before then it was like 4weeks ago. but maybe another reason is because i have not been praying and reading bible daily. You see i know some things that if i do the actively daily i will totally overcome this evil demon, but i somehow just ignore this things and let the flesh take over. i pray God will continue to have mercy on me. and help me. am posting this in the main page maybe i need some counsel or atleast some words of comfort from diff people. thank you.
MAybe you are reading this and you are christian and committed born again christian, wel dont give up like me, am still holding on, somewhere i read that God will always forgive us its just that we may never grow past this stage, so if you want to keep "repeating this class" continue to give in to the flesh but if you feel you are really more than a conqueror then lets stand up and do a way with this evil beast, we have the power.
Hope to get some counselling here, or if you have or know of a good website, please send me the link or send me a pm. thank you.