frenchhustler
New Member
I am in my early thirties. I started watching porn at 12y.
When I had my first sexual relationships in my early 20's, I started having sexual problems:
- I was either TOO excited
- or... not excited enough...
This would translate to:
- I would either not get hard
- or if got hard, I was too excited and I cummed way too quickly (i.e in tens of seconds).
- or if I could get hard and not cum right away, sometime I would become soft again a few minutes later
Sometimes, I managed sex sessions that were somewhat satisfying. In general, this only happened when I kept having sex with the same partner, after a few month of intimacy. With first-time partners, it was almost impossible to get decent sex. This has caused me huge frustrations. I had a decent number of sex partners (maybe 40-50), but I really had to hustle a lot to get them. I am not a "natural player". And I when I finally had sex with these girls, a lot of time it was disappointing, causing girls not to stick around...
At that time, I blamed it mostly on the porn, but for some reason I did not decide to do anything about it. I thought I could just stop porn at anytime and fix everything.
Later, I got with my current girlfriend (started 5 years ago). At the beginning, the sex was good. Then after a few years, it progressively became worst. Last year, I finally decided to stop porn, in order to fix my sex life with my girlfriend. It's been 1 year and 3 month since I last watched porn. I don't have strong urges to watch porn again. I do have strong boners in the morning if I dont masturbate for a few days. I also started to eat healthy and to exercise regularly. However, it hasnt solved the sex problems with my girlfriend. I also have sex with other girls sometime, and problems are even worst.
I need to better understand whats causing all of this. Possible reasons:
- My mum is a hardcore feminist / anti-men woman, who probably made me feel bad unconsciously about having sex with women in general
- I regularly go to see erotic massage therapist or even hookers sometime (more rarely)
- It's been 1.5 years that my gf lives in another country, i.e less frequent sex.
Some possible solutions:
- stop seeing erotic massage / hookers
- go for therapy about my mum problems
- Masturbation... not sure on that one... I do masturbate once in a while ( once every 1 to 3 weeks). I feel like not masturbating at all can have negative effects.
- Porn...also not sure on that one...I am not sure that completely stopping is a good thing. I am wondering if consuming a bit of it can stimulate my desire. But I am really really afraid of becoming addicted again, even if now I have 0 very little desire to watch porn.
- Exercise even more regularly than I do now. Maybe twice a week. More sport = more testosterone = more sex desire?
- Start a "sex journal" where I describe my sex performance (masturbation and any sex acts with girls), as well as the context. Also will do this for past performances that I can remember. The objective is to nail down favorable conditions for good sex.
Looking forward for your thought guys
When I had my first sexual relationships in my early 20's, I started having sexual problems:
- I was either TOO excited
- or... not excited enough...
This would translate to:
- I would either not get hard
- or if got hard, I was too excited and I cummed way too quickly (i.e in tens of seconds).
- or if I could get hard and not cum right away, sometime I would become soft again a few minutes later
Sometimes, I managed sex sessions that were somewhat satisfying. In general, this only happened when I kept having sex with the same partner, after a few month of intimacy. With first-time partners, it was almost impossible to get decent sex. This has caused me huge frustrations. I had a decent number of sex partners (maybe 40-50), but I really had to hustle a lot to get them. I am not a "natural player". And I when I finally had sex with these girls, a lot of time it was disappointing, causing girls not to stick around...
At that time, I blamed it mostly on the porn, but for some reason I did not decide to do anything about it. I thought I could just stop porn at anytime and fix everything.
Later, I got with my current girlfriend (started 5 years ago). At the beginning, the sex was good. Then after a few years, it progressively became worst. Last year, I finally decided to stop porn, in order to fix my sex life with my girlfriend. It's been 1 year and 3 month since I last watched porn. I don't have strong urges to watch porn again. I do have strong boners in the morning if I dont masturbate for a few days. I also started to eat healthy and to exercise regularly. However, it hasnt solved the sex problems with my girlfriend. I also have sex with other girls sometime, and problems are even worst.
I need to better understand whats causing all of this. Possible reasons:
- My mum is a hardcore feminist / anti-men woman, who probably made me feel bad unconsciously about having sex with women in general
- I regularly go to see erotic massage therapist or even hookers sometime (more rarely)
- It's been 1.5 years that my gf lives in another country, i.e less frequent sex.
Some possible solutions:
- stop seeing erotic massage / hookers
- go for therapy about my mum problems
- Masturbation... not sure on that one... I do masturbate once in a while ( once every 1 to 3 weeks). I feel like not masturbating at all can have negative effects.
- Porn...also not sure on that one...I am not sure that completely stopping is a good thing. I am wondering if consuming a bit of it can stimulate my desire. But I am really really afraid of becoming addicted again, even if now I have 0 very little desire to watch porn.
- Exercise even more regularly than I do now. Maybe twice a week. More sport = more testosterone = more sex desire?
- Start a "sex journal" where I describe my sex performance (masturbation and any sex acts with girls), as well as the context. Also will do this for past performances that I can remember. The objective is to nail down favorable conditions for good sex.
Looking forward for your thought guys