Started a REBOOT on 17/10/2018

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tmich34

Member
Hai

I am currently studying engineering (in my last year), I have been struggling with addiction for 4 years. I watched porn around grade 8 and 9 but did not really like it and stopped pretty soon. Then towards end of year 12 it started again and I have been relapsing cycle. The addiction is embarrassing and It has definitely impacted me. I have depression and lack any sort of motivation. As a catholic it is particularly difficult as I want to remain pure wife. And I believe I can get through this.

As of the 29/10/2018 I was watching a video about the impacts of pornography on the brain and they actually forgot to censor a portion for like 1 second (I hope this does not reset anything).

I have started a STICKK program where you actually commit real money and if you relapse you lose that money. You can support me if you want my username is 'tmich34'. With this I started a commitment for one week, completed it I am currently on 2 week then going to 3, 4, 5 and so on.

Thanks.
 
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tmich34

Member
Some of my triggers that I have identified are anger, frustration, stress, boredom and I guess when something does not go my way I just go to this. A lot of the times fantasizing also triggers this. And this is quite difficult to control. 
 
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tmich34

Member
Feeling a lot better, but still thinking about sex quite a bit. In the past this has triggered me to go watch porn but trying to keeping it under control.
 
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tmich34

Member
Today was a but harder, been thinking about sex a lot and have been tempted quite a bit as well. Is think this is with drawls? I am not exactly sure but my motivation to do anything is super low.
 
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tmich34

Member
I am doing cold showers because I wanted to increase my mental toughness. Since, I forcing myself to do something I don't want to do; so that I can stop doing something that I want to do.
 
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johnleesmith65

Active Member
tmich34 said:
I am doing cold showers because I wanted to increase my mental toughness. Since, I forcing myself to do something I don't want to do; so that I can stop doing something that I want to do.
Click to expand...
I liked your strategy.
 
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tmich34

Member
have been flat-lining but not as hard as when it was during the start, but will it get worse or does it depend on the person?
 
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tmich34

Member
On STICCK I have committed to quitting at first for one week, then went to 2 weeks. But now I have made a commitment to quit and I have set myself a 27 week deadline which will take me to May 2019. And if I relapse I will lose $200, and if I relapse for the 27 weeks I may end up losing over $5000. Amd if I quit the commitment I will also lose money. I decided this was a way of actively managing to quit by putting up risk system. And so far it is going okay.
 
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