Hi everyone,
I'm new here and just figuring out how to use this forum and community as a support.
I decided to create an account because I just figured out that going through this journey alone isn't probably do it. I'm not the kind of guy who loves blogging or even spending time on Facebook so that is why I have waited so long before creating an account, but I guess that if I want to stop failing I have to take more drastic actions towards my goal. So here is the first step ; Getting involved.
I don't exactly know how to start this journal, but I guess I could do like others and tell a bit about myself. So I think I have started watching internet porn around 17 and I didn't mind it at the time. I was thinking that every other guy was doing it and that there was absolutely no problem doing it. And there wasn't any problem at the time. Looking back, I find it hard to tell when things went wrong, but I think it started during University. I just had a bad breakup during school that I didn't see coming and it took me long to get over it. As I was going through University, pressure and stress really started to grow and I think that's when PMO became an escaping behavior, a stress reliever. Next thing I knew I was hooked, I was addicted to porn and I was jerking more and more often.
I know my use of porn is bad because I really hate it! I hate porn! I might not be on some fetish or crazy things like other guys (or girls I should not forget) but still I'm tired of it. It's time for some changes in my life. PMOing keeps me from facing my problems, it is jerking my brain, and taking me way too much time. I just hate it right now and want a damn porn-free life. I want to get things done, move with my life, get in a serious relationship, stop losing so much time in front of a damn computer and learn to deal with stress. It's been almost a year since I have started my journey and I'm struggling right now. I am proud to say that I was able to stay clean during two months twice, but for the past few weeks it's been really bad and I think I'm starting to loose faith. My will power is weakening. I need new tools and support so I guess this is the right place to begin with.
I will try to write on a daily basis for now because I'm back on spending a week without PMOing. Feel free to write to me and give me some advices but I won't mind if you don't. I'm starting this journal to commit myself and make my mind clearer. Writing down thoughts does help, but I'm still feeling shitty right now. Clearly not proud of myself for still being stuck in my PMO addiction but I guess there's no point of bashing myself. I can get out of it and I know I will. Just need some time, support and efforts.
Well, I think I will end it here because I don't want it to become too long.
Peace you all,
Staying strong and see you next time.
I'm new here and just figuring out how to use this forum and community as a support.
I decided to create an account because I just figured out that going through this journey alone isn't probably do it. I'm not the kind of guy who loves blogging or even spending time on Facebook so that is why I have waited so long before creating an account, but I guess that if I want to stop failing I have to take more drastic actions towards my goal. So here is the first step ; Getting involved.
I don't exactly know how to start this journal, but I guess I could do like others and tell a bit about myself. So I think I have started watching internet porn around 17 and I didn't mind it at the time. I was thinking that every other guy was doing it and that there was absolutely no problem doing it. And there wasn't any problem at the time. Looking back, I find it hard to tell when things went wrong, but I think it started during University. I just had a bad breakup during school that I didn't see coming and it took me long to get over it. As I was going through University, pressure and stress really started to grow and I think that's when PMO became an escaping behavior, a stress reliever. Next thing I knew I was hooked, I was addicted to porn and I was jerking more and more often.
I know my use of porn is bad because I really hate it! I hate porn! I might not be on some fetish or crazy things like other guys (or girls I should not forget) but still I'm tired of it. It's time for some changes in my life. PMOing keeps me from facing my problems, it is jerking my brain, and taking me way too much time. I just hate it right now and want a damn porn-free life. I want to get things done, move with my life, get in a serious relationship, stop losing so much time in front of a damn computer and learn to deal with stress. It's been almost a year since I have started my journey and I'm struggling right now. I am proud to say that I was able to stay clean during two months twice, but for the past few weeks it's been really bad and I think I'm starting to loose faith. My will power is weakening. I need new tools and support so I guess this is the right place to begin with.
I will try to write on a daily basis for now because I'm back on spending a week without PMOing. Feel free to write to me and give me some advices but I won't mind if you don't. I'm starting this journal to commit myself and make my mind clearer. Writing down thoughts does help, but I'm still feeling shitty right now. Clearly not proud of myself for still being stuck in my PMO addiction but I guess there's no point of bashing myself. I can get out of it and I know I will. Just need some time, support and efforts.
Well, I think I will end it here because I don't want it to become too long.
Peace you all,
Staying strong and see you next time.