Severe case of PIED? Any advice/moral support great appreciated!

Hi, I feel my story is pretty messed up and and advice/moral support would be greatly appreciated.

I'm currently 34 years old.

So I went through a long period of being single for a few years and would masturbate to porn alternating between daily, every other day and sometimes going a long time without any at all - I never really thought of myself as addicted but who knows. But I guess it all added up and caught up with me. One day (about two years ago) I found that I couldn't get erect to porn anymore or even without porn (just fantasizing) and started freaking out. I discovered all of this info about PIED and decided to cut out masturbating to porn completely. I also went to the doctor and got my blood tested - I think it was for testosterone levels and they came back normal.

After a very long time (I can't remember how long but definitely much longer than 90 days!) I started to every now and then get spontaneously erect (like in the shower for example) and also my morning wood started to come back again. Unfortunately I got a bit carried away and started masturbating again although it wasn't with porn so I thought it would be OK. Unfortunately this had a detrimental effect and I pretty much went back to square one i.e no erection to fantasies and no morning wood.

Whats strange is that since then I have had sex with real life partners and managed to get fully erect. However, these have mainly been one night stands/casual arrangements and I've still not had a steady relationship since and therefore not been able to fully 'rewire' with a partner. So it seems that I can can react/get erect to real life situations but still only semi erect to fantasies and I still rarely get morning wood and when I do it seems pretty week.

I'd got to the point where I'd sort of learnt to live with it thinking "oh well, I should probably avoid porn and masturbating anyway and eventually I'll hopefully get in a steady relationship and it will work itself out".

This was all up until recently when I started freaking out and worrying about - if I don't have regular sex with someone soon and have chance to rewire then could there be permanent damage?
Plus I just happened to read something saying that if men don't have regular erections they can lose the elasticity in the penis and it can shrink. Usually this isn't a problem because morning wood makes sure that erections are regular. But If I'm not getting morning wood surely this is a big problem!

I'm sure its understandable why I'm freaking out.

To put my mind at ease a little bit I thought I'd try and get to the bottom of it once and for all. Today I went to the doctor to have my testosterone and hormoane levels checked again just incase there is a problem. If there is then I guess at least I can be treated.
If there isn't I'm really not sure where to go from here. I'm not quite sure how mainstream/understood by doctors this all is nowadays (especially in a small town in England). I guess that if my blood comes back normal all I can do is avoid porn and hope eventually stuff goes back to normal but I worried about some kind of permanent damage.

Just wondering if anyone has a similar story, any advice and/or any answers to the above questions.

Thanks!

6 months in and I still struggle to get erect.
I never have morning wood.
Personally I think some of us are permanently damaged.

Can you permanently damage yourself?  This site and others seems to suggest that it's all curable with time and patience.  I've not heard anywhere that anyone can permanently damage themselves.  But then again, I'm 9 months any and still having issues.

The issue of permanency is really an unknown one as PIED is relatively new and in order to determine what 'permanent' is one must actually go all their life (since contracting PIED) or at least most of it trying to reboot but with no result. Because it's a new thing, we don't have data about this scenario.

I personally would not rule it out as permanent.  :'( This is because if it's severe PIED, there's a chance that stimuli similar to PMO stimuli is all around us for the rest of your life. Who' to say that being 'triggered' by a sexual image x times a year every year would not, in accumulation, set your recovery back always a step behind the final recovery line..?

It's just seems if it's severe, and you are in your 30s or after, the odds are against you. (Especially if you have no or little real sex experience)

I feel its permanent, to be quite honest I'm close to done with this issue, depression is starting to get the better of me.
I'm 25, I'm not up for going my whole life like this.

Its not permanent if youre not seeing results rewiring is ur best bet
Cant stay home and feel sorry for urself
I myself am recovering severe pied took me 11 months to see significant progress
One day things must get better

Gavalar, everything I have read suggests that it's not permanent.  If you haven't already, read the success stories.  Watch all the videos online that you can find.  From the time that I've spend investigating, healing is out there but it takes time and discipline.  You must have faith.  I don't want to push, but I suggest going to church.  Churches are in the business of hope.  I also suggest you find a distraction.  Life isn't about sex and life certainly isn't about masturbation and porn.  Find a way to serve others and take your mind off of yourself.  I promise you'll be rewarded.

Hi Galavar,

I had a very serious battle with a depression and anxiety attacks for a period of roughly 9 to 12 months when I was 20-21. While I was battling it my libido was didn?t exist. No arousal, no erections, no desire, nothing.

Perhaps the damage is resolved, and your brain is re-wired at this point... Now you just need to find the power to forgive yourself and find that general ?joie de vivre? as you navigate your day to day...