aLadInsane
New Member
Hi all. Basically, I'm broken, and right in two halves.
Quite literally, too. I'm worrying if there's two different people inside me.
One is probably a woman, too.
Firstly, I have two completely different moods, that interchange randomly, and one of the two has a disastrously negative view of life, and therefore acts like a prick.
It's a part of me that I usually never see during the day, but when it affects me negatively, if I have to wake up to do something important, even things I like, it won't let me get up and when I go to sleep it won't let me rest. I have to learn how to control it and live with it in peace
On the other hand, I really have no problem with this "other" part of me being a woman. I'm bisexual, and enjoy crossdressing (I swore to abstain from it until i really kicked porn right to its grave for me), so I definitely am feminine to some extent and it doesn't bother me at all, I think it's actually a little better than being completely straight/gay. It's just what I am. But knowing who you are is just a small part of being a sane person. The other half is knowing how to USE yourself. Knowing how to control your capabilities and experiences and use them for your own good.
I think this side of me is creating so many problems and insecurities to me firstly because A) my mother was fucking mad, so my "feminine side" or whatever you wanns call it must've inherited all of her delusions and anxieties and B) it is being distorted by my usage of sissy hypno and shemale porn in general, which probably originated from a subconscious need to feel comfortable with my female part through the years. I'm sure my crossdressing fetish and bisexualitty was NOT induced by porn, as far as I can remember I KNOW I was even if I didn't back then, but it's completeky coherent with the life I've had so far.
Anyway, let's talk about good stuff. I play bass guitar, guitar and a little percussion, music is a prominent part of my life and sometimes the only I find meaningful, so every time I log in here to write whatever's on my mind, I will post a song that I know helps me going through my day, hoping it'll help others too, and everyone'is invited to join in and post theirs as well.
This is possibly one of the greatest songs ever by music and feel alone, the lyrics talk in an incredibly delicate and sweet manner about dealing with a deeply depressed dear person are just so, so poignant and soothing.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PzTW9Wdl1P8
Quite literally, too. I'm worrying if there's two different people inside me.
One is probably a woman, too.
Firstly, I have two completely different moods, that interchange randomly, and one of the two has a disastrously negative view of life, and therefore acts like a prick.
It's a part of me that I usually never see during the day, but when it affects me negatively, if I have to wake up to do something important, even things I like, it won't let me get up and when I go to sleep it won't let me rest. I have to learn how to control it and live with it in peace
On the other hand, I really have no problem with this "other" part of me being a woman. I'm bisexual, and enjoy crossdressing (I swore to abstain from it until i really kicked porn right to its grave for me), so I definitely am feminine to some extent and it doesn't bother me at all, I think it's actually a little better than being completely straight/gay. It's just what I am. But knowing who you are is just a small part of being a sane person. The other half is knowing how to USE yourself. Knowing how to control your capabilities and experiences and use them for your own good.
I think this side of me is creating so many problems and insecurities to me firstly because A) my mother was fucking mad, so my "feminine side" or whatever you wanns call it must've inherited all of her delusions and anxieties and B) it is being distorted by my usage of sissy hypno and shemale porn in general, which probably originated from a subconscious need to feel comfortable with my female part through the years. I'm sure my crossdressing fetish and bisexualitty was NOT induced by porn, as far as I can remember I KNOW I was even if I didn't back then, but it's completeky coherent with the life I've had so far.
Anyway, let's talk about good stuff. I play bass guitar, guitar and a little percussion, music is a prominent part of my life and sometimes the only I find meaningful, so every time I log in here to write whatever's on my mind, I will post a song that I know helps me going through my day, hoping it'll help others too, and everyone'is invited to join in and post theirs as well.
This is possibly one of the greatest songs ever by music and feel alone, the lyrics talk in an incredibly delicate and sweet manner about dealing with a deeply depressed dear person are just so, so poignant and soothing.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PzTW9Wdl1P8