anonp
Member
I remember the first time sneaking into my dads clauset, finding the hidden and doing the forbidden.
That was ~16 years ago, I'm 28 today and porn has been an major influence in my life, not for the better, unfortunately.
Most people think I'm a pretty healthy guy and I'm used to battling myself, but the demon of pornography is something
completely different from anything else and I'm sure that its one of the biggest problems in our modern society to
understand, battle and just fucking get rid of. It's the devil in disguise destroying the most precious we have, love.
Now..
I've been in this battle for well over three years and tried attacking it from different angels, cold-turkey, K9, qustodio, opendns, hardcore-training, 2x blindfolded LSD, 4x Ayahuasca. I've done it all, everything to prepare me for Today.
I've had a streak for 90+, a few 30-40 but mostly I'm somewhere 7-11. The relapses gets easier to break though and I'm usually breaking up the bad streak after 2-3 days.
The one thing I've never done is reach out and ask for help from people who understand, I tried to with my ex-gf but I don't think she understood... Sadly...
This is my start, or our start may so be.
Now, I know that I can't attack it full force full frontal, I'm only breaking myself, I need to understand my triggers.
I know that the TV was the whole start of it, VHS-porn then, triggers today, endless zapping trying to find the next crap to waste time on.
I gave the TV away to a friend of mine a few hours ago, replacing it with some happy painting.
I would have thrown out the laptop aswell if it weren't for my job. It sure would have been easier 20 years ago when everything wasn't internet-based.
Im fucking buddha-viking warface now and I'm taking sugar into the obliteration aswell.
The sugarbattle ain't shit to porn. Nicotine ain't shit to porn. Cannabis ain't shit to porn.
My main weapon will be meditation since I'm only breaking every blockade I put up, I need to subdue the willpower of the demon, thus meditation.
I hope I can find some inspiration here in your battles, brothers & sisters. I'll do my best in supporting your journals.
Porn is no more dictating my life.
This is the fucking endline.
_______________________________________________________________
That was ~16 years ago, I'm 28 today and porn has been an major influence in my life, not for the better, unfortunately.
Most people think I'm a pretty healthy guy and I'm used to battling myself, but the demon of pornography is something
completely different from anything else and I'm sure that its one of the biggest problems in our modern society to
understand, battle and just fucking get rid of. It's the devil in disguise destroying the most precious we have, love.
Now..
I've been in this battle for well over three years and tried attacking it from different angels, cold-turkey, K9, qustodio, opendns, hardcore-training, 2x blindfolded LSD, 4x Ayahuasca. I've done it all, everything to prepare me for Today.
I've had a streak for 90+, a few 30-40 but mostly I'm somewhere 7-11. The relapses gets easier to break though and I'm usually breaking up the bad streak after 2-3 days.
The one thing I've never done is reach out and ask for help from people who understand, I tried to with my ex-gf but I don't think she understood... Sadly...
This is my start, or our start may so be.
Now, I know that I can't attack it full force full frontal, I'm only breaking myself, I need to understand my triggers.
I know that the TV was the whole start of it, VHS-porn then, triggers today, endless zapping trying to find the next crap to waste time on.
I gave the TV away to a friend of mine a few hours ago, replacing it with some happy painting.
I would have thrown out the laptop aswell if it weren't for my job. It sure would have been easier 20 years ago when everything wasn't internet-based.
Im fucking buddha-viking warface now and I'm taking sugar into the obliteration aswell.
The sugarbattle ain't shit to porn. Nicotine ain't shit to porn. Cannabis ain't shit to porn.
My main weapon will be meditation since I'm only breaking every blockade I put up, I need to subdue the willpower of the demon, thus meditation.
I hope I can find some inspiration here in your battles, brothers & sisters. I'll do my best in supporting your journals.
Porn is no more dictating my life.
This is the fucking endline.
_______________________________________________________________