Looking for new milestones

Hey guys,

I was in Reboot three years ago and eventually gave up hard-core porn through an internet accountability program. I have never stopped struggling with MO and today was another sex chat. I recently completed a 12-step program at my church that lasted about 10 months. I have made some progress in the last few years but I have never gotten past the MO withdrawals. I am looking to be an encouragement to a handful of guys and I'm hoping to find some encouragement and accountability myself. Peace.

Hi RightWay.

What's your story? Are you suffering from PIED or just porn addiction?

If I understand correctly, you have been rebooting for 3 years. You say you have stopped watching hard-core porn but you continue to use sex chat rooms. Has this been your only porn substitute over the last 3 years?

The consensus is that masturbation to orgasm isn't the real problem. It's masturbation to orgasm while using porn or other artificial stimulation which raises dopamine levels to unnatural levels (edging is a problem) which results in porn addiction and eventually PIED.

Good luck with your reboot!

Mousemat1 thank you for your reply! Phone sex partnered with "bikini porn" has been my porn substitute over the last few years. I'm not sure how much progress I have really made in that time. What you said hits the nail on the head: MO while using artificial stimulation to raise dopamine levels to unnatural levels is the real problem. I've only stayed away from hard-core porn because I don't want my internet accountability partner to know that I'm looking at that stuff. The potential for shame and embarrassment has kept me away from hard-core porn and even a lot of soft-core stuff.

I'm pretty sure I would go back to the nasty porn if nobody else would ever know or see the pages I was looking at. I have certainly benefited from dialing down the porn but the pull is still very strong. I have also been with some professional girls a few times recently. I had gone a few years without paying for sexual thrills but recently I fell back to what I call semi-prostitutes. There is no intercourse, just MO. It is much more satisfying being with a real life girl but I still have some PIED. I don't want any more of it. I need to man up to the withdrawals and enjoy some new milestones in my reboot.

I think you need to really commit to hardmode for a period. It's difficult but I think it's the best way.

No porn. No porn substitutes (including fantasy). No masturbation to either of them.

During one of my past reboots I stopped looking at hardcore porn (videos) and was just looking at stills and erotic comics. In hindsight, it does almost as much damage as the hardcore videos.

Good luck!   

I will say this.  My husband and I made a commitment to, No orgasm without the other person present.  It then made solo sex a thing of the past.  This was during his reboot and then continues now.  We were amazed at how it helped us both gain a sense of how important it was to talk and come up with solutions.

Thank you Gracie! ... I had made it to 5 days without PMO and today I'm at Day 1 again. Porn seems like such a minor offense when I'm tempted but dumps all it's baggage on me after I given in. I just realized that I've been spending over $100 a month on phone sex for the last 4 months. Discouraging but eye-opening. I work from home with lots of down time waiting for the phone to ring. I try to keep my mind occupied with audio books and informative documentaries. I wish I had something amazing to say. What WOULD be amazing right now is to get to 30 days with no PMO. The last time I did that was over 3 years ago. Not that I'm trusting any number of PMO-free days to work any magic. It would just feel nice to experience a new level of victory, but first I must embrace the withdrawals. Glad you all are here too and pray for us to find the freedom we need.