Unbreakable
Member
I'm a hero, and I will tell you of my challenge and how I'm going to conquer it.
I'm a male of age 38. I had boomer parents and a rather horrible upbringing. One of my siblings is a definite sociopath, and I just couldn't handle it. My mother shut my wailing down, she didn't want to hear any of it.
I am also lightly autistic (aspergers) making the visual more powerful for me.
So I found porn, at age 11, as a way to handle the pain and my life.
For many years it was my companion, and I couldn't see anything wrong with it. I read from nurses and health services that it was impossible to mastrubate too much. Another betrayal from modernity.
When I had my first sexual encounters, I noticed something was off. So did my partners. And the years went on. The problem got worse.
In 2009 I turned to extreme pornography for the first time, including violence. I hurt myself and my frenulum while I was in a relationship.
In 2010 I realized the nature of the beast and smashed my harddrive.
But it wasn't that easy. I had stressful jobs, and I could even hear female voices calling for me from the places I kept the codes to unlock my computer. Time and time again, I relapsed. Every time, things seemed a bit more hopeless.
I had a horrible sexual encounter where nothing worked, and after that, I became deathly afraid of women and their disappointment. I just couldn't handle it.
So I withdrew. Every time I tried a reboot, I manged one month, two months, before I had a relapse. The most I managed was three months.
Then life made a turn for the worse. I lost my career and was struck with major depression with psycotic paranoia.
Just when I needed it the least, my family members bothered me, and I hurt my frenulum a second time. This time I tore half of it off, and it's scarred, and I can feel the scar to this day.
I made a slow recovery from the depression. Still, I had this sense of hopelessness.
I made another extreme effort. I told everyone I was taking a break from the internet, and unplugged my computer. I managed 7 months free of this demon of mine.
But again I relapsed. This was early this year. My problems and poor living conditions got the best of me.
Now I live in a good place. I'm not bothered with people. Now, at the 16th of august 2019, I start my journey. This time, I will keep the internet on, but porn will not be an option.
I also have found a love interest. There are no more excuses. I managed 7 months in horrible living conditions. Now I can't be broken. The demon will be replaced with discipline and training, amongst other things.
Don't believe me? Try me. Ask me, at any time. Have I held the demon away? The answer will always be yes.
I could detail so much more, and maybe I will. Both the personal story and the scientific perspective. I've done alot of reading on the subject.
For now, this will have to suffice.
I am Unbreakable, and this is my journey in the greatest challenge ever told.
I'm a male of age 38. I had boomer parents and a rather horrible upbringing. One of my siblings is a definite sociopath, and I just couldn't handle it. My mother shut my wailing down, she didn't want to hear any of it.
I am also lightly autistic (aspergers) making the visual more powerful for me.
So I found porn, at age 11, as a way to handle the pain and my life.
For many years it was my companion, and I couldn't see anything wrong with it. I read from nurses and health services that it was impossible to mastrubate too much. Another betrayal from modernity.
When I had my first sexual encounters, I noticed something was off. So did my partners. And the years went on. The problem got worse.
In 2009 I turned to extreme pornography for the first time, including violence. I hurt myself and my frenulum while I was in a relationship.
In 2010 I realized the nature of the beast and smashed my harddrive.
But it wasn't that easy. I had stressful jobs, and I could even hear female voices calling for me from the places I kept the codes to unlock my computer. Time and time again, I relapsed. Every time, things seemed a bit more hopeless.
I had a horrible sexual encounter where nothing worked, and after that, I became deathly afraid of women and their disappointment. I just couldn't handle it.
So I withdrew. Every time I tried a reboot, I manged one month, two months, before I had a relapse. The most I managed was three months.
Then life made a turn for the worse. I lost my career and was struck with major depression with psycotic paranoia.
Just when I needed it the least, my family members bothered me, and I hurt my frenulum a second time. This time I tore half of it off, and it's scarred, and I can feel the scar to this day.
I made a slow recovery from the depression. Still, I had this sense of hopelessness.
I made another extreme effort. I told everyone I was taking a break from the internet, and unplugged my computer. I managed 7 months free of this demon of mine.
But again I relapsed. This was early this year. My problems and poor living conditions got the best of me.
Now I live in a good place. I'm not bothered with people. Now, at the 16th of august 2019, I start my journey. This time, I will keep the internet on, but porn will not be an option.
I also have found a love interest. There are no more excuses. I managed 7 months in horrible living conditions. Now I can't be broken. The demon will be replaced with discipline and training, amongst other things.
Don't believe me? Try me. Ask me, at any time. Have I held the demon away? The answer will always be yes.
I could detail so much more, and maybe I will. Both the personal story and the scientific perspective. I've done alot of reading on the subject.
For now, this will have to suffice.
I am Unbreakable, and this is my journey in the greatest challenge ever told.
) It was back in the days when I had fantasies about playing in porn movies. I wanted to write some porn scenes and I even started writting one. Fuck.