Commit to Commitment in your Marriage

Hello all,

This is amazing advice fir anyone who is married or anyone who wants to me married someday (this problem will come up for you, if you allow  it to, now or later).

To me, porn, erotica, and masturbation are a way to get around commitment, even if only in your mind.  You are replacing your spouse for your gratification.

This is a good read.  Something every married person needs to near.

Rich


https://www.google.co.kr/amp/www.yourkickassmarriage.com/blog/committingtothecommitment%3fformat=amp

Jeff Olson (Businessman/Solar CEO) wrote a great book called 'The Slight Edge' about his life philosophy and there's an interesting quote from it:

"A friend of mine says that people make two lists about their spouses and carry these lists around in their heads. The long list is a detailed accounting of what?s wrong with their spouse, and the short list is a summary of what?s right. The long list they consult every day. And the short list? That?s the one they read at the funeral.

People on the success curve don?t wait for the eulogy. They rip the long list to shreds, scatter its pieces to the wind, and spend every day reading from the short list. They make themselves experts in ?what?s right,? and let go of ?what?s wrong.? They never hold a grudge?not because it?s morally wrong (although they may agree with that reason, too), but because it simply gets in the way of the curve their life is taking. It slows them down. They?re too busy moving toward the future to be gazing into the rearview mirror."

Rich,
I have avoided responding here hoping some of the other rebooters would read this and comment on the wisdom of your words.  I say that because when we women comment sometimes the thread just stops.  I was hoping others would have an aha moment and comment.

I want to say the process of healing from porn is attaching yourself to real live human interaction and communication.  We, as humans, are not made to respond to pixels.  We need love and that means giving love and receiving love.  We need caring which also works both ways.  We need companionship.  Once my husband worked through this, we are in a place that makes us now understand we are one.  Being totally committed to another is amazing.

Work it out like an equation. Susie plus Fred equals love and committment.  Not Susie plus Fred plus porn equals love and commitment.  There are only two in a relationship.

Really appreciate this post by Rich and the comments above. It is a simple change in mindset that will make a big difference in your relationship. Surely this is a factor in the divorce rates today...everything is so disposable instead of trying to fix what is broken.
I would say this ?commit to commitment ? idea and reading the short list is a daily practise we should be subscribing to. It doesn?t take much for distractions to slip in. I have seen this first hand- gone from crap situations that really brought us close together (loss of child) to what it is now- intimacy impacted by PMO habits. Still recovering.

Thanks all