Struggling being semi-cured.

I've recently gotten the furthest I've ever gone without pmo. I went a month and a half and I did it with ease. I had been heavily pmoing since 13, I'm 19 now and only the most specific genres and scenes satisfied me. Anyway towards the end of my streak, I started getting morning wood again regularly! Had a few sexual dreams, spontaneous erections and attraction to real life women. The progress seemed incredible, as before, I couldn't masturbate to anything but the kinkiest of porn and still feeling unsatisfied.

So this begs the question, whats the problem? I ask myself the same question. The last week of that streak was unbearable, I literally could not stop thinking about sex and possible sexual encounters. The feeling of myself getting aroused to just thoughts seemed so foreign I couldn't stop. I had to force myself to not touch myself. Eventually I saw myself getting weaker with my reboot. I saw myself as semi-cured so I started my old habits, re-activated instagram, got a few dating apps and disabled my porn blocker. I couldn't do it anymore so I relapsed by sexting with a girl. I figured if it was going to happen anyway, it was gonna happen with a somewhat real person. When in this mindset, you cheat yourself, trying every possible scenario in your mind to justify giving up.

It felt incredible during it, I'm so much more sensitive to touch than I used to be, but as I finished, I felt a sinking feeling. Shame, embarrassment and anger. Now the past 5 days since then, Ive been using porn. It feels like a blur.

If anyone could give any tips on how to deal with urges and how to get back on track, please let me know.

Thanks.

The thing that has helped me the most overall is to read as much as I can about porn addiction, PMO, rebooting, flatline, re-wiring, etc.

This site has some great videos.  I suggest you watch every single one of them.

And yourbrainonporn.com is must read.  Great articles there, and excellent videos as well.

I think that the more we know about what's going on in our brains with this addiction, the better armed we'll be for the battle.


And the advice I've heard, and that I'm following is no porn, no masturbation, and no orgasm for AT LEAST 90 days. 

It's called hardmode.

Best of luck to you!

I've had one relapse.. It happened on day 30 on Thanksgiving. I'm now on my 2nd streak, and about to hit day 30 again on Christmas.. I think that could be a sign..

Anyways, the 2nd time around, its been a bit more difficult. Because for my first 30, I was dating the hottest girl I've ever been with, so it made going without porn extremely easy.. This time around, I'm not seeing her anymore, so I'm not getting regular sex, so the urges to PMO or even MO are stronger, although, I don't think I could MO even if I wanted to. I will get flashes of porn in my mind and will have urges to view.. What tends to help me is exercise, and meditation, or getting out of the house. Also, coming on her to make a post in my journal helps to put things in perspective.