boltthrower82
New Member
I told myself I wasn't going to even bother posting anything here until I was five days in.
33 years old. Discovered MO at about 12, though I could have been 11. Finding P a year or two later for the first time, dad's stash. Internet became available in the home at age 15... perfect timing. Dial-up, began with photos. Then short clips. By the time I had access to high speed I was about 20 or 21, and downhill from there.
I've been in two long term relationships since then, and, I realize now, both were destroyed by PMO addiction. You couldn't have made me see that at the time, but slowly I've realized that was the root of the problem, and likely many others.
I quit five days ago and it hasn't been that terrible yet. I already work out so I have that going (actually, yesterday I seemed to have some sort of extra reserve of strength going on, not sure if that has to do with abstaining). Have signed up for Headspace and have been doing meditation through that. My social anxiety problems haven't really been tested yet, we'll see when I go back to work on Monday.
Have not had an erection in the past five days, though I suppose that is to be expected. I'm finding it hard to go to sleep, may have to do with dopamine being off from usual levels, not really sure.
I think my whole life has been extremely fucked over by internet P, honestly. I'm trying to focus my energies into more productive things that are important to me, clear out selfishness and ego-driven nonsense, etc. The more I think about the more pissed I am that this thing really took over and shaped my life that much, it's fucking ridiculous. Kids should be taught about it, but I'm sure that won't be happening.
Anyway, I don't have all that much of interest right now. I'll talk about things as they occur. Dealing with the stress of work and not having that sort of automatic coping mechanism anymore will be interesting.
33 years old. Discovered MO at about 12, though I could have been 11. Finding P a year or two later for the first time, dad's stash. Internet became available in the home at age 15... perfect timing. Dial-up, began with photos. Then short clips. By the time I had access to high speed I was about 20 or 21, and downhill from there.
I've been in two long term relationships since then, and, I realize now, both were destroyed by PMO addiction. You couldn't have made me see that at the time, but slowly I've realized that was the root of the problem, and likely many others.
I quit five days ago and it hasn't been that terrible yet. I already work out so I have that going (actually, yesterday I seemed to have some sort of extra reserve of strength going on, not sure if that has to do with abstaining). Have signed up for Headspace and have been doing meditation through that. My social anxiety problems haven't really been tested yet, we'll see when I go back to work on Monday.
Have not had an erection in the past five days, though I suppose that is to be expected. I'm finding it hard to go to sleep, may have to do with dopamine being off from usual levels, not really sure.
I think my whole life has been extremely fucked over by internet P, honestly. I'm trying to focus my energies into more productive things that are important to me, clear out selfishness and ego-driven nonsense, etc. The more I think about the more pissed I am that this thing really took over and shaped my life that much, it's fucking ridiculous. Kids should be taught about it, but I'm sure that won't be happening.
Anyway, I don't have all that much of interest right now. I'll talk about things as they occur. Dealing with the stress of work and not having that sort of automatic coping mechanism anymore will be interesting.