Ryans Journal

Hello Reboot Nation- My name is Ryan.

I decided, truly decided, today that I not only desperately need to quit PMO, but I want to. I have already created a post, but rereading it I clearly was acting in shear desperation and impulse; as I often do because PMO over the years has caused me to lose a great deal of self control. Additionally, I relapsed today resetting my 'count', resetting my goals, and restarting the entire process from the genesis.

In just the few days I was recovering my self realization and awareness improved and the cognition I severely lacked from not only improved but was exponentially improving. My listening and communication skills sharply improved and noticeable focus and attention to detail aptitudes were on the rise to even others around me.

I, like so many others on this website, are exhausted of what porn has ruthlessly robbed from us. Our emotions, personalities, relationships, goals, education, labels, likes and dislikes, and I would be taken back if I failed to mention even our manliness. Enough has already watered down manliness and the art of manhood, and porn preys on men's sexuality by involving PMO as a core 'behind the scenes' mastermind of ones everyday life.

Maybe not everyone can agree on how PMO really effects men, but we can agree that it's not healthy. I have been using PMO to cover up emotions I don't even feel anymore and memories I have long forgot. Not matter the reason of why I started, nothing motivates me more to quit PMO than the fact that it has limited me as a man, husband, friend, and scientist. It always leaves me empty and unsatisfied. It has lead me into smoking and unhealthy habbits. Always letting me know it was in charge and in control.

I am making a committed effort, an obligation to myself, to quit PMO and start living my life how I should have been and enjoy the defeat of porn more and more each day. Improve myself as a man and build my life how I want it.

Anyways, I am so thankful for the community here and its such relief knowing that other guys have gotten through this.

Niemals aufgeben und nie geben, f?r den nur leichte Tag war gestern.

It is possible brah.. I am doing now my 24th day since my last PMO, and I feel proud, be consistent, plan your time and all that you said and you will manage

Hello Ryan,

I just came to these revelations too while reading YBOP book. It's amazing how much it affects our daily lives. Btw, I am an MLT and work in a lab in the military, good luck on your internship and keep it up. Hope to hear more from you.

Hey nuel2016, I know it's possible but dude it's no joke stopping! Once you realize how this actually affects you and how you kinda are screwing yourself (no pun intended), it makes you wonder how you made it up to this point. I just started yesterday but ended up messing that up because of my final grade. I made an 83% which is pretty stellar, but I took it negatively because I totally know on one exam I went in after some PMO the night before, and no kidding, I felt like I was stuck in a hangover; couldn't remember shit to save my life. That grade keep my from making what I really wanted to make... SO, I got the counter for a visual 'push'. Ready to get this behind me and move the hell on.

NOfapjones23, totally cool gig being a MLT in the mil. I have my MLT but where I live the pay is incredibly better with a MLS (ASCP). Did you do your training in Tx? I'm a medic in the Air Force and right across the 'hall' the navy and AF peeps were being taught lab stuff. ..and yes your right, it's incredible how much this actually affects us. Man, and honestly, the main thing that affects me is the so called 'brain fog'. After reading and doing some of my own research and realizing how much fog I am constantly in, I am really surprised I can make it day to day! Where u stationed at? AF?

MLS 2017, yeah the difference in pay with MLS(ASCP) is definitely worth it to go for it. I completed my training in Fort Sam Houston, TX, well phase 1 anyway and the I completed my clinical in Walter Reed in Bethesda, MD. I am stationed in Fort Leavenworth, KS. I am Army.

Extremely difficult not to give in right now. I feel the urge like constantly but I know powering through and just making myself understand the science behind this; I'll come out shinning! No pun intended.

Stay strong, Bro. One quick suggestion: instead of just "powering through" (what I call "white knuckling") Find something healthy and positive to do to replace the porn. I find it easier to replace the habit with something else rather than just stopping it. For me personally, willpower alone isn't enough. Stay strong and keep on man

Thanks man. It's a struggle for sure the 1sr few days. I am going to start going to a gym near me and run. I heard running the best to help speed up recovery.

Going to the gym is a great idea! It helps me alot.

Dang today was a hard day! I came home and almost started to edge.. but I got on here and freaking stayed on here until I got over it. Then I went and got a black and mild cuz I said hey.. I'll sit on my back patio and fucking remind myself over and over that this shit ain't never done nothing good for me. It's been stealing from me time I'm never going to get back.. take my life back. I did.. took a hot min to cool down and wise the hell up.

Btw journal.. when I was driving to school this morning I swear, weirdest thing occurred. I saw everything completely different. It was like for about an hour, I felt awake, alive, truly 'in the moment'. It was so shocking to me. Have I had these 'blinders' on for the last damn near 10 years? Holly crap.. I can't not give in again. I've already missed way to much. Ready to see what tomorrow brings!

That was a great idea to come back to the forum during your time of need. You're a week in now dude, glad to see you're already starting to see the benefits! Keep it up.