Old addict new journey

J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
First of all thanks to Gabe deem for this wonderful forum.
I am old user, I have been coming and going from this forum from last 5 or so years.
Because of my inconsistent nature.
But thanks a lot for keeping this forum moving.
Day 0
I had some great success in last 1 year, I made lot of clean days.
I was clean from last 3 days, but today I relapsed twice.
I have started my counter again.
Today is day 0, new beginning.
I have decided to relay on my brain instead of filters this time.
Filters are good, but at the end of the day, it all depends on your brain.
In this age of social media it is difficult to combat porn, but we all know it is worth to fight this plague
 
J

jkkk

Well-Known Member
I understand where you are.

Not sure if you're into apps. I'm not. But there is an app called "Reboot" and it's really good.

I think it's good in what you write - it concentrates on the brain. Filters are very good, but nothing can stop your brain.


Update!!! -> I see you got the app :) brilliant!


What has happened in these last time that you went back to porn?
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
Day 1
Got day 1 completed.
Not bad start.
Not too difficult day.
Lot of social anxiety and uncontrollable use of social media though.
Overall good day.
Going to bed.
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
Thank you all.
Day 2
Got 2 days on board.
Lot of social anxiety and excessive use of social media.
I will try to get off from social media today as said above by friend.
Insomnia kicked in as well.
No urge to watch porn, which is good.
 
J

jkkk

Well-Known Member
Social media is the worst -> treat Fb (maybe Messenger is OK) and Instagram as porn!

What are doing for a living that stresses you out so much?
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
Good point Jkk.
Although my job is not so stressful.
But I have my own problems.
And my body is weak too.
I get tired fast and more than normal folks.
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
Day 3
Got 3 days on board.
I felt some mild cravings yesterday night.
And I got half wet dream today afternoon.
Overall not bad at all.
Good progress so far.
I do have filters installed both on cpu and phone.
Job stress is there as usual.
 
J

jkkk

Well-Known Member
Hey johnnie

How are you doing? Also, I note you report the stressful job - even though you write it's not particularly stressful. My gut feeling it is, though.
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
Thanks Jkk.
Yes you are right, there is stress, but I think every job has some kind of stress.
I have my problems and limitations as well.
Every job will be that stressful for me.
But definitely, I am changing some stuff in my life, and soon I will start finding another job.
Just waiting for right time, hopefully in next 6-8 months.
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
Day 7
Got 1 week.
It is long time since I got 7 days successfully.
May be like after 3,4 months.

But it was extremely difficult to pass 7 days.
Intense craving this afternoon, I had filters, so I just barely survived this time.
Rest is fine.
Life is chanllenge.
1 day at a time.
 
R

Recovery Will Come

Active Member
Congrats for 1 week keep it up!! I joined this community last year and started my 5th reboot but my first with The Reboot Nation community and I went 10 weeks without any porn or masturbation... I relasped shortly after by going on social media.. Huge Mistake... I?m am just starting my reboot again now and trust me if I can make it 10 weeks you can recover from this addiction... We got this bro!! Stay busy and find productive activites!!
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
Day 9
Withdrawal symptoms are visible.
Fatigue
Pain in arms
Fainted
Felt like body temperature was down, felt cooling sensations.
Dry eyes, watery eyes

I look forward for better days.
Just worried about after day 21, when I feel urges the most.
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
I found that anger and stress plays a big role in my relapse.
Stress/anger management should be better this time.
No filters from now, because filters are creating new OCD for me.
 
A

achilles heel

Well-Known Member
Thanks a lot for supporting me on my journal, it means a lot to me!

johnleesmith65 said:
I found that anger and stress plays a big role in my relapse.
Stress/anger management should be better this time.
No filters from now, because filters are creating new OCD for me.
Click to expand...

How did your relapse occur? What is the pattern of your relapses and what strategies could avoid it/help?

Did you consider professional help for anger and stress management? I ask because I will do so after all, it is a big step and I hope it might help.
 
R

Recovery Will Come

Active Member
We've all been there.. Relaspe is an horrible feeling... I would deactivate your social media temporarily until you are recovered.. IMO you will not succeed unless you do so... To many triggers...
I went 10 weeks in my last reboot and relasped because of going back on social media... Recovery is possible if we give 100% effort....
 
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