Old Hog, New Tricks?

Warthog

Member
To state the obvious, I have a problem with porn, and I need to get over it....somehow.  The back story.....I am 68 years old, and have been involved with masturbation since around age 13 or 14, so have been involved with PMO for a very long time.  Starting with "pin-ups" and written stories, and escalating over the years to video tapes and, of course, with the dawn of the computer age, the PC and internet.  The "male culture" in which I was raised considered PMO as "just something guys did" and that women and wives should just ignore it. I am married, and have been for 45 years to the same woman, to whom I have been "physically faithful".  "Got religion" about ten years ago, and realized that what I learned via "male culture" was and is wrong.  Been fighting the battle less than successfully since then.  Have tried various things, including some other on-line groups, but always "went back to it".  Found "yourbrainonporn" and am favorably impressed, both with the breadth of approaches and the activity of the group, so I am making my "formal debut" with this post. 
 

harry

Active Member
Hello Warthog,

Welcome. You're in the right place for recovery. Yes, this site and yourbrainonporn.com are impressive. This is very supportive environment.

I would encourage you to read all you can, listen to porn free radio, and watch the videos. Knowledge is power, and with power and insight, you can change and heal.

I find it very useful to stay engaged with the forum, especially when I'm struggling, as I have been lately. I read, and I post. This process keeps me accountable, and it keeps me on track.

Stay strong!

 

bob

Respected Member
Glad to have you in among us Warthog. We welcome you with open arms.

Peace
 

Warthog

Member
harry said:
I find it very useful to stay engaged with the forum, especially when I'm struggling, as I have been lately. I read, and I post. This process keeps me accountable, and it keeps me on track.

Thanks.  I am very much in the "early learning stage" of the website.  Have read much, much, much research on the effects of porn on brain chemistry in many other places (mostly books), so am definitely "a believer" in the "cause and effect".  The trick has been to find those things that "work for me", as we are all different.  There is obviously much wisdom here.....sifting is gonna take a while.
 

harry

Active Member
Humans like to think of themselves as terminally unique. I think you would be hard pressed to find a group men more similar than those found on the forum.
 

Warthog

Member
harry said:
Humans like to think of themselves as terminally unique. I think you would be hard pressed to find a group men more similar than those found on the forum.

The science says that humans "are" individually unique.  Even non-fraternal/identical twins have different fingerprints.  But because we are human, we share many traits in common.  It would be no surprise to me that the folks who gather themselves on this forum share many similarities, among which is likely to be a "tendency toward addiction", be that drugs, tobacco, food or sex. I doubt that there is a "one size fits all" recipe for beating ANY addiction. 
 

harry

Active Member
You mentioned you've done a lot of research. I do hope you will post your findings when you uncover the appropriate solution. I'm always open to new ideas and interpretations. We need all the help we can get.
 

Warthog

Member
harry said:
You mentioned you've done a lot of research. I do hope you will post your findings when you uncover the appropriate solution. I'm always open to new ideas and interpretations. We need all the help we can get.

The very large amount of reading I have done on the subject is really big on "proving the connection" between PMO and problems but offers very little in the way of "practical things that work".  This site seems head and shoulders above any of the others that I have found thus far in addressing that aspect. 
 

Warthog

Member
A bit of a milestone this weekend. My wife and I indulged, and I was able to reach a vaginal climax.  Not a huge bellringer, but at least no DE. ED has never been a problem for me, but DE has been "huge".  As in NE (no ejaculation). 
 

Robert2.0

Member
Welcome Warthog,
I can relate to story closely, since I am will be 66 in May. We have followed the same path I am sure as far as our viewing habits are concerned and the material we have progressed through.  I am glad you are here. I doubt you will find a group more dedicated to helping each other heal than this group. Congrats on 30 days and if you truly are ready to heal and be free, then this is the place you can do it.

We can do this!
 

Warthog

Member
Robert2.0 said:
Congrats on 30 days and if you truly are ready to heal and be free, then this is the place you can do it.
We can do this!

Thanks.  Thus far, the added boost from here has been enough to tip the "willpower over want" balance in the right direction. 
 

Warthog

Member
Temptation has been a bit of a problem this week...not to the point of PMO, but visiting Reddit and reading some discussions of sexual topics. Anyone care to share experience with how this sort of thing affects the rebooting process.
 

bob

Respected Member
Warthog,

It is a big morass of stinking shit on the edge of a long slope to nowhere. Don't do it. I gave up on over 140 days sobriety to check out giggling boobs. Only problem it didn't stop there. It was just the beginning of a complete relapse where I "just wanted to check it out again.

I will say it again. Don't do it. It is counterproductive and will suck you in faster that you think.

Just my thoughts...
 

PeaceOfMind062012

Active Member
I agree with Bob - the addiction is just so clever, that it can use any material to trigger those old pathways and come to life again. If you've been sober for 140 days, just keep going, even if it's tough, and know that we've all got your back man! Theoretically it should be easier to say no to temptations now that your neural pathways have had some time to heal. But the funny thing is, in my experience, when I go several weeks without P, my mind will say something like "Oh, it can't be THAT harmful, you deserve a break" Or I forget how much like garbage I felt the last time I slipped up., and so I just give in a little bit, which usually turns into as lot.

Stay strong!
 

bob

Respected Member
PeaceOfMind062012 said:
In my experience, when I go several weeks without P, my mind will say something like "Oh, it can't be THAT harmful, you deserve a break" Or I forget how much like garbage I felt the last time I slipped up., and so I just give in a little bit, which usually turns into as lot.

This is so true. That is where I was. That is what I did. This is why I am back to single digit days.

I will get back to where I need to be but it is going to take some time. Don't screw with success.

Peace
 

Robert2.0

Member
I know you are old enough to remember the TV program "Lost in Space". If you don't know it google it. And remember the robot's warning, DANGER  Will Robinson DANGER.
 

bob

Respected Member
Boy do I ever remember that show... and how I hated Dr. Smith. Don't do it, don't do it.

8)
 

Warthog

Member
Thanks, guys.  Pretty much what the "rational" part of my brain was saying. 

And yes, I do remember LIS.  Watched it regularly.  And Dr. Smith was a unique sort of villain, wasn't he?
 
F

Feetfirst

Guest
Hi Warthog. Just dropping by to to say welcome to RBN and well done on 52days. Fantastic. Keep going. Day at a time. FF
 
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