Yes Tom_itsa, it is fucked up
Somehow in my mind, I tend to believe that fantasizing over a stranger (example a Porn actress) is healthier than fantasizing over someone you know. The prob is that this might lead back to porn watching.
I think that fantasizing over real people makes you want it to happen in real life, if it happens in reality it could be wrong (betrayal) or if it happens your feelings from it will never match your expectations thus leaving you disappointed.
Am confused about that actually.
I just feel guilty after I do it but damn I get turned on when I think of her.