Yes.. I can.

Hi everyone,
It's the first time I am posting here. I am not a native English speaker so my writing will be full of grammatical errors please try and look beyond these errors.

This week has been rough. I have relapsed every single day. My last streak was of 10 days on my first attempt. But due to a personal issue I have been relapsing every single day since last 7 days.
Why I have been relapsing?
Because I am in an emotionally fragile state right now. Instead of facing my problems I am looking for an escape. This is why I am relapsing.

How do I feel after relapsing?
Terrible. Sometimes I even feel like vomiting.

What will I do now?
Try again.

Did I reset my counter?
Yes. Today is day1.

Do you think you can change?
Yes

How will you do that?
Willpower alone is not sufficient. I have to make multiple changes. I have to change my lifestyle. Avoid triggers.

Let's begin this journey again.

I am 26 years old. I don't have a job. I wasted my adult life watching porn. I am going to make sure that I don't medicate myself with porn.

I will try to stay in control and keep moving forward. Porn is the symptom that my overall life sucks. I have to improve my overall health to actually become a better man.
I have to win. And I will.

Welcome here Kush.

By coming here, it means that you already realize that you have a problem(s). That in itself is the first step. It's a big thing, now you can try to fix that! We'll do our best to try to help, usually people will tell you what worked for them so you can try for yourself! There's no magic pill, but with support, strategy and some willpower you will get through this no doubt.

You've done a 10 days streak which is already good, now you just have to expend on that! First, to help you, get as much time out of your place as possible, maybe try to bring CVs at some places. The important thing is to be far from your triggers while you're working on improving your lifestyle!

Best of regards and keep pushing!

Welcome! This is the place to be to get help and support in this important fight. Joining here has made a huge difference for me.

I think you have noticed something really important: porn is a symptom of other problems. Really, addiction is our brain's attempt to take care of us when we are suffering. It's a coping strategy (that ends up causing us harm).

You have mentioned that you are feeling emotionally fragile and like a lot of your life has been wasted. Spend some time to think deeply about where these feelings come from and then work to take care of yourself and solve these problems in healthier ways. Porn is an escape, not a solution. If you can find real solutions, porn will become less interesting over time.

We're here with you! You definitely can!

Day 2 (trigger alert)

I am overwhelmed by the response I have received. Thank you rebooter2019 and blue heron fan. I am glad you replied.

One day has passed. I have been lost in thought and I have been reexamining most of my decisions and the attitude of people around me. I don't know if any of you have faced this. It's like I am over flooded with thoughts and feelings. Maybe for the first time in my life I am facing everything I have run away from. It is overwhelming. It is making me feel anxious. It is a trigger. But I have decided to see it through.

I began PMO when I was 15. Till I was 20 it was an occasional thing. But when life got tough in my early 20's, I had a bad breakup, I couldn't get a stable job or get good grades. I didn't have any good friends, that is when my addiction actually began. So for last 6 years I have been addicted. My longest streak has been of 10 days which began in September this year and ended in October. I actually relapsed.
I did share this with few of my friends but they laughed at me saying no this is not a real thing. No one can be actually addicted to porn.
I have made one simple decision. May be I am addicted, may be I am not. May be this is a problem, may be it's not. But I have spent 10 years doing this, for the next 1 year I will try and recover. Abstain. May be nothing will change after a year. But atleast I would know, I tried my best.

One thought which actually is stuck in my head is.
Worldly problems have worldly solutions. Not having a good career, not having good friends, not having a good girl friend. All these problems will not disappear by using porn as an escape.
I have to face them in the real world and solve them. And that is what I will do. And yes I am not alone. There are hundreds of men like me, we are with each other no matter what. We won't laugh at each other, we will accept each other.

Your friends who say that porn cant be an addiction are probably addicts themselves, but the difference is that they dont want to face that fact.

Congratulations for deciding to quit, in spite of what your friends tell you.

I am sure that you will experience tremendous benefits. But expect really tough times ahead of you.

Dont quit if you relapse.

The only way to fail is to quit.
You can make it.

And yes this nofap journey will allow you and force you to face your problems in life.

Everybody here understand what you go through.
God bless.

Thanks Arthur2. It feels good to know people have my back. I am pretty sure I will make it this time.

Kush focus on your reboot. You can do it.

Yes Do or die. As your name suggests it's do or die time

Yep.
That is a good choice of name really.

Kush said:

I have made one simple decision. May be I am addicted, may be I am not. May be this is a problem, may be it's not. But I have spent 10 years doing this, for the next 1 year I will try and recover. Abstain. May be nothing will change after a year. But atleast I would know, I tried my best.

Click to expand...

This is an important decision. It doesn't matter what your friends say. I know there are some people who might say that porn isn't an addiction because it doesn't work exactly like drugs, but it is so much like an addiction that I don't really see much difference.

The best thing you can do is get distance from porn one day at a time. I have been working on beating this addiction for about 10 years (I started PMO a few years before I ever tried to quit for real), and I have finally started seeing some real change. It's a long process, but a very important one. I have been away from porn for just over 7 months, and there is a very real difference in my life and in the way I think and feel about myself and the world around me.

So definitely keep trying and keep working. Quitting is the right choice. Improvement might be slow, and there might be failures along the way, but the change is real. Life really gets better as you get farther away from porn.

Arthur2 said:

Yep.
That is a good choice of name really.

Click to expand...

Thanks

Kush keep in mind you get your happiness when you are rebooted. So for that bigger achievement you need to take some little efforts. That efforts are to do not respond your urges.
When you got urge your mind give you many positive thought about PMO .
your mind does every possible attempt to Convey you. English is not my mothertounge so sorry for language mistakes.
Just focus on only one thing that is reboot. Nothing other.